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Wed Mar 4, 2020, 11:21 AM

Online shopping and mental health

My son, who is a psychologist, has told me that he's seeing what appears to be a rise in Agorophobic patients. He believes that, as he put it, "staying in breeds staying in." He thinks that once people become accustomed to not venturing out they become more resistant to not venturing out and that the ease of online shopping, food delivering, etc., is contributing. My husband, who shops and delivers groceries for Instacart, seconds this (and also sees lots of apparent "hoarders" and folks who seem to live in a chaos of accumulated "stuff." Sadly, I'm seeing it in my own life. There's certainly no reason to go to the grocery anymore since the husband does all our shopping, but I'm also starting to need much more imperative reasons to get myself out there. Wonder if others are observing this.

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Arrow 36 replies Author Time Post
Reply Online shopping and mental health (Original post)
Brainstormy Mar 2020 OP
rzemanfl Mar 2020 #1
cwydro Mar 2020 #13
rzemanfl Mar 2020 #14
cwydro Mar 2020 #15
rzemanfl Mar 2020 #16
cwydro Mar 2020 #18
rzemanfl Mar 2020 #19
cwydro Mar 2020 #20
HipChick Mar 2020 #2
Brainstormy Mar 2020 #3
Thyla Mar 2020 #4
Brainstormy Mar 2020 #5
Thyla Mar 2020 #6
llmart Mar 2020 #22
MuseRider Mar 2020 #7
Brainfodder Mar 2020 #8
sarcasmo Mar 2020 #9
whistler162 Mar 2020 #23
pwb Mar 2020 #10
TheBlackAdder Mar 2020 #12
hunter Mar 2020 #11
Coventina Mar 2020 #17
smirkymonkey Mar 2020 #21
llmart Mar 2020 #26
smirkymonkey Mar 2020 #33
Skittles Mar 2020 #24
2naSalit Mar 2020 #34
qwlauren35 Mar 2020 #25
Kali Mar 2020 #27
TygrBright Mar 2020 #28
Hoyt Mar 2020 #29
2naSalit Mar 2020 #35
eleny Mar 2020 #30
kimbutgar Mar 2020 #31
Newest Reality Mar 2020 #32
unc70 Mar 2020 #36

Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 11:25 AM

1. I attribute mine to the near certainty of Trumpist encounters, and now COVID-19. n/t

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Response to rzemanfl (Reply #1)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 04:11 PM

13. I live in a red county, so no doubt I must encounter his supporters.

I’ve yet to have the experience of anyone announcing that though, and I’m out and about every single day.

Truly, all these “trumper encounters” that everyone here seems to have just baffle me.
This is the DU member formerly known as cwydro.

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Response to cwydro (Reply #13)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 04:23 PM

14. Sunday it was two asshats and many expensive looking Drumpf flags at the

busiest intersection I have to cross on my way home from the grocery store. Yesterday I was an old woman on the beach with a flashy, new-looking Drumpf hat. I do not interact with these people except with hand gestures and shouts out my window. Yesterday I detoured around that woman to avoid my desire to yell sexist obscenities, body shaming insults and such into her face.

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Response to rzemanfl (Reply #14)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 04:26 PM

15. Yes, I've seen those ridiculous Impotus stands selling crap around here.

I ignore that.

I have to admit I chuckled at your wish to yell “sexist obscenities and body shaming insults!”
This is the DU member formerly known as cwydro.

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Response to cwydro (Reply #15)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 04:28 PM

16. I have a vast store of those accumulated during my youth in the sixties. n/t

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Response to rzemanfl (Reply #16)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 04:29 PM

18. Oh, trust me, I do too.

And I’m a gay woman lol.
This is the DU member formerly known as cwydro.

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Response to cwydro (Reply #15)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 04:33 PM

19. Also those guys were not selling, they were campaigning for the cult. n/t

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Response to rzemanfl (Reply #19)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 05:09 PM

20. Oddly, when I see them in Charlotte, it's usually AA men manning the stores.

Go figure.
This is the DU member formerly known as cwydro.

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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 11:34 AM

2. I attribute mine...

To I don't give a damn any more syndrome...and l detest engaging with Trumpsters..

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Response to HipChick (Reply #2)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 11:37 AM

3. LOL. That syndrome

is going viral, too.

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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 12:05 PM

4. To be fair

Interaction with the outside world is vastly overrated.

Not sure that alone would qualify one as Agorophobic. Isn't it more of an anxiety type of thing?

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Response to Thyla (Reply #4)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 12:10 PM

5. think it becomes a phobia

when the anxiety becomes crippling. I'm not a shrink. But my husband makes jokes about me planning for three days to go to Target, which is pretty much across the street, and then I change my mind. Part of it may be that there's just so little that I want any more. Shopping is definitely over-rated.

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Response to Brainstormy (Reply #5)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 12:34 PM

6. At least shopping

Gets me out of the house, lol.

But yeah my wife hates it and wants to order online more. I can understand how useful it is especially when you are exhausted from work and kids, nobody wants to extend their day by an hour when you could be at home relaxing.

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Response to Brainstormy (Reply #5)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 08:18 PM

22. That sounds like me.

I truly hate shopping of most sorts and have for most of my life. It seems such a waste of one's life to wander around a store looking at crap you can live without. If I actually need something like toothpaste, food, things that are necessities, I have a way of talking myself out of going until I'm one day away from being out of something. Then when I go to the store I try not to look at most of the people or I'll find myself muttering under my breath ugly things like how they're loading up their carts with lousy food choices, how they're spending twenty minutes deciding which toothpaste to buy as if it matters, etc.

And yes, like you I'm practically across the street from a Target and other stores. I am not antisocial or anywhere near agoraphobic, I just hate the idea of wasting my life away enclosed in a store with other people I don't know when I could be outside in nature or home reading a good book, cooking a good meal, listening to good music, chatting on the phone with a friend.

I can relate to your statement of there's just so little I want any more. I have everything I need in life and I need very little to be content.

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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 12:47 PM

7. I start to feel this myself

as I stay on my farm. We do have friends we meet for dinners every month and I still enjoy that, the occasional lunch with others. I still play in the symphony but if I compare what I am comfortable doing with what I used to do it is measurably different. I will do whatever I have to do, will not become a shut in but it is different somehow and I will put off trips to the hardware store or calling a place for help with my fence or tractor and I never used to be that way. 13 years we have been able to live out here now and it has made a difference. I fight it successfully but it is often a fight.

Interesting.

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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 01:04 PM

8. More and better options now for staying home?

Better TVs & Blu-ray handling those higher resolutions quite well!, gaming, internet, add delivery and pickups at stores available, a recipe for solitude?

Add to the mix the fear after multiple shootings in public places.

Economy not working well for some, if the $ is not there, you NEED to be home?

Just off the top of my head, I am still blah from waking up and allergies have us trapped at home, another valid reason?













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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 01:47 PM

9. Netfilx instead of the movies. Amazon instead of the mall. Twitter for arguing. Facebook for photos.



You can do everything from home, the times they are a changing.

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Response to sarcasmo (Reply #9)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 08:21 PM

23. You forgot DU for deep insightful discussions

on important topics of the day.

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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 01:54 PM

10. My last trip to a very large Mall was eye opening.

Most stores were completely empty around noon. The Apple store was packed.

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Response to pwb (Reply #10)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 04:05 PM

12. In the Nj malls, it seems like every 4th store sells sneakers.

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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 04:02 PM

11. A Song for a New Day -- Sarah Pinsker

In this captivating science fiction novel from an award-winning author, public gatherings are illegal making concerts impossible, except for those willing to break the law for the love of music, and for one chance at human connection.

In the Before, when the government didn't prohibit large public gatherings, Luce Cannon was on top of the world. One of her songs had just taken off and she was on her way to becoming a star. Now, in the After, terror attacks and deadly viruses have led the government to ban concerts, and Luce's connection to the world--her music, her purpose--is closed off forever. She does what she has to do: she performs in illegal concerts to a small but passionate community, always evading the law.

https://amzn.to/30iEopR


This is an amazing book. Check it out.

I hope it's not prescient of our actual future.

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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 04:29 PM

17. If it were possible, I'd never leave my house.

Yeah, it's probably not healthy.

But I don't care.

My attitude is, we invented "inside" because "outside" is vastly overrated.

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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 07:29 PM

21. I am kind of in danger of becoming an recluse myself as I get older.

I do go to work, get together with friends here and there to meet for coffee, dinner or a movie, and walk around the city to do errands, interacting with people I meet, but I really enjoy my time alone in my apartment.

I have the internet, movies, books, music, etc. Keep in touch w/ others via the phone, e-mail and text (which I hate). Chat with neighbors in my building while I am going in and out or taking care of chores inside the building, etc.

I don't feel lonely at all. In fact, after a week at work, I can't wait to be by myself, although I usually manage to get out to meet at least one friend on the weekend for an hour or two, but then I look forward to going back home. I do have a lot of things delivered because I live in a city and it's just so easy to get groceries, online shopping (no car) and take out food delivered. In fact, I quite enjoy myself and I don't think I would want it any other way.

When I was younger, I was out constantly, so I think I got it out of my system. I don't feel like I am missing anything and I have gotten to the point where people just kind of get on my nerves unless they are good friends of mine.

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Response to smirkymonkey (Reply #21)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 08:32 PM

26. I have no problem being alone either.

I enjoy my own company likewise. When I was younger I was much more extroverted, but like you I find that the vast majority of people annoy me, so I keep within my own little circle of family and friends and I'm perfectly fine with that. I do manage to occasionally meet a new person who I find out has similar interests and on the same wavelength as I am, but I wade into a friendship cautiously.

I venture outside my comfort zone when I feel like it and go on vacations, but I'm always very happy to get back home also. I volunteer a couple days a week and have a somewhat superficial relationship with a couple of the other volunteers, but I have also run into a couple of really nasty volunteers who remind me of an old workplace and the drama there, so it seems even in volunteering you can run across the miserable people. I'm 70 and I just don't need the conflict and drama any longer. I just want to live out my days in peace and quiet.

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Response to llmart (Reply #26)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 08:56 PM

33. Thanks for your post llmart!

It's nice to know that other people feel the same way. I think that the older we get, the less tolerance we have for BS and the more we crave peace and sanity. That means spending time with people who really mean something to you and enjoying your own company doing things that you really enjoy without any judgment.

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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 08:26 PM

24. people seem to do whatever they can to avoid having to WALK

then they complain that they "can't lose weight"

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Response to Skittles (Reply #24)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 09:06 PM

34. +1

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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 08:30 PM

25. Thanks for pointing this out.

I choose fast food based on whether they have a drive-in. Same with pharmacies. I order from Amazon over going to Walmart. I order my dog food from Chewy's instead of going to PetSmart. But I'm not sure it's agoraphobia. I think it's laziness.

Either way, it's very bad.

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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 08:38 PM

27. is it a problem?

or fucking FANTASTC advance?





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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 08:38 PM

28. Check out the Meetups near you in your interest areas...

It's a nice way to try out group interactions doing things you enjoy.

There's a beading group that meets at the library a few blocks from us that I'm planning to try...

helpfully,
Bright

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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 08:45 PM

29. I'm not sure if that's bad. I'd much prefer to go hiking, walk in a park, etc., than go shopping.

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Response to Hoyt (Reply #29)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 09:12 PM

35. Same here. I live in a place where

people travel for days to come and hike here so I make sure I do a lot outside. I'm a reclusive type anyway so I have never been one to go out shopping for entertainment. I know what I want/need when I go to a place, go right to it and back to check out, avoid big box joints. Of course I have to go quite a distance to go shopping so there's that. I don't like to buy a lot so I have few needs. I don't have teevee, though I have been livestreaming a lot due to politics.

I enjoy the company of the wildlife around here than to being with people. There's so much out there that could be gone soon, I don't intend to miss out on that.

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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 08:48 PM

30. Husband and I call it, "Going out into the world"

We're retired. He has things he does each week that get him out. I'm always grocery shopping or heading to the library. I meet up with a group of people who sew for a really long lunch about once a month. So we are out. But it's obvious that it's way less than in years past - even when we were retired.

We also have people come to mow, shovel snow and garden for us. They usually stop to say hello, get instructions or grab a cuppa. So we do see all kinds of people out of the house and here.

When we had our kitchen remodeled we had so many people coming and going that we started to keep track of the different guys. Turned out that we had over 30 different trades guys here as the job progressed. A banner year for interaction!

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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 08:51 PM

31. My older sister is becoming that way

Amazon shopping is big to her.

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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 08:51 PM

32. It's just evolution...

or a mutation, depending on how you look at it: Homo Sapiens Sapiens Vesicula.

We are going to be pod people hooked up to the Net with Musk's Neuralink.

What with climate change, pollution, the breakdown of society, in a few, short decades a pod will be the safest way to live. It only makes sense. We adapt well.

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Response to Brainstormy (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 09:27 PM

36. I love to go out and interact

While I can easily stay home for several days without speaking to anyone or watching TV, I am more likely to go out. I like to shop for groceries, seeing what vegetables look nice and resonate with me, much like when in France. I frequent several restaurants where I know staff and regulars, walk on the UNC campus, etc. My mother lived into her 90s and was always on the go.

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