The toilet paper substitute of ruffled newspaper ....

[Under The Radar]

Isn’t going to work when print newspaper is now much more scarce than toilet paper.

[MineralMan]

1. Well, we get a daily newspaper at our house.

It makes lousy toilet paper, though. The ink comes off. Ick!

[Under The Radar]

2. Ah, there is the risk of your newspaper being stolen

If the crisis worsens....

[MineralMan]

3. Unlikely. We pick it up off our front porch at 6 AM.

It's our morning coffee reading, with the TV news on in the background.

[Kaleva]

4. Florida Man might be the only one stealing it after it's used as TP

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

5. Who cares if there's ink on your butt? Who's looking?

[MineralMan]

14. Well, that's true enough.

Paper towels work, too. Facial tissue, as well.

I'm not bothered, really. By the time I need more, the panic buying will have tapered off.

[Hortensis]

6. I predict a run on nursery plants and increase in

landscaping vandalism and theft.

[dalton99a]

7. Old phone books, National Geographic?

Oh wait, too glossy

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

8. My catalpa tree won't leaf out until May, but I'll be all set when it does.

Those leaves are huge.

[Cirque du So-What]

9. Phone books aren't as common as they used to be

Good thing Rural King has bags of corn cobs cheap.

[lame54]

10. Is that a Garfield tattoo on your ass? Oh look, a sale at Penney's

[customerserviceguy]

12. Too funny! n/t

[Rockhead]

11. Corn cobs or,,

Sears catalog. I also remember my grandmother who lived through the depression only allowing 2 squares of TP for whichever number, 1 or 2.

But seriously. I just ordered a bidet that attaches to a bathroom sink for warm water and cotton shop rags. These items are starting to become unavailable and/or price gouged so,,,

[janterry]

13. cloth

just wash them
lot's of people do that

[Mariana]

16. Just cut up some old t-shirts, they're nice and soft.

I regularly used wet t-shirt rags to clean my daughter's butt, once upon a time.

[mitch96]

15. If push comes to shove, use a hand held bidet and paper towels to dry your butt

Or the blue paper shop towles... No skid marks on your underwear...

m

[IADEMO2004]

17. Waterpik is the new bidet.