Fantastic Fractrured Fairy Tales by Donald Trump

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

Today boys and girls I'm going to tell you the story of the evil Welfare Queen. President Obama had just bought her a brand new Cadillac. When all the people in Trumplandia were getting very sick she drove her new car up to the back of a hospital where the illegal immigrants working there sold her the medicine the sick people needed. She paid for the medicine using her food stamps which the illegal immigrants then sent back to their families in whatever shit hole countries they came from.

The Dark Duke Cuomo told everyone that it was Good King Donald's fault there wasn't enough medicine-even though he knew that wasn't true. The evil queen was just about to sell the medicine to the Chinese people who wanted to give the medicine to their bats so they could start eating them again. Just then, Prince Pence appeared and said "Stop Evil Queen! By the power of my Task Force I command you to give that medicine back!" The head of the king's personal guard Constable Barr grabbed the evil queen, took her to the dungeon and gave the medicine back to the sick people. Everyone got better by Easter and lived happily ever after!

That's all for today kids. Tomorrow I will tell you about how the Pillow Knight and Princess Ivanka stopped the bad people in the media from telling everyone that Good King Donald doesn't wear any clothes!

[Ohiogal]

1. Thanks for my laugh of the day!

I was a big fan of Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons as a kid. Fractured Fairy Tales is a great description of what the Chump is blabbering to us every day.

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

3. It's one of the first things that I thought of watching his press briefings

Just wacky made up stuff. I walk in the kitchen and see him on TV and say "it's time again for Trump's Fractured Fairy Tales". It would be funny if he wasn't the President. I bet you people would still watch! If only Mr. Peabody could get Sherman to set the Way Back Machine to November 2016.

[Laxman]

2. Why Do I Get The Feeling....

that this might just be the story we get in today's press briefing. Just as believable as anything else he says....and were the Chinese really going to give the medicine to bats just so they could eat them?

[underpants]

4. Love it.

[onethatcares]

5. I could hear the theme music

to F F Ts. Thanks much.

the words of drump remind me of Bullwinkle asking Rockie if he wanted to see him pull a rabbit out of his hat but instead of Rockie and Bullwinkle it was drump and pence with the question being; " Hey Mikie, wanna see me pull some bullshit outa my ass?"

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

6. Again? That trick never works!

[orleans]

7. nicely done! here's my alternate ending:

"Everyone got better by Easter and" went to church!



thanks for writing this

[leftieNanner]

8. Fantastic!

I too can hear the theme song.

AndGood Grief but I wish we could use that Way Back Machine!

Remembering the little guy with a broom coming along behind, sweeping up.

[aggiesal]

11. Ask and you shall receive ...

[leftieNanner]

12. A Big Smile

for you today. Thank you!

We need to keep happy memories in our hearts right now.

[CatWoman]

9. K; R

this is pretty funny

[crickets]

10. Nice! K&R