Welcome to DU!
The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards.
Join the community:
Create a free account
Support DU (and get rid of ads!):
Become a Star Member
Latest Breaking News
General Discussion
The DU Lounge
All Forums
Issue Forums
Culture Forums
Alliance Forums
Region Forums
Support Forums
Help & Search
General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsFound on Facebook from someone in the UK with a Masters in Disease Control
Some translation may be in order -
'spoons is Wetherspoons - a chain of cheap ass pubs run by a right wing Brexit shithead who kept the pubs open until the last possible moment.
Jane Raison
Yesterday at 00:46 ·
As someone with a Masters in disease control, you can only imagine the sheer hell on earth that Facebook is for me at the moment.
From Chantelle who has impressively made the leap from bath bomb retailer to consultant virologist in a matter of weeks and can tell you exactly why the government and their experts are wrong, to Bob who claims to have secret intel from a secret government group on the secret programme of secret treatment measures that the government are definitely bringing in at 3pm next Thursday, only its a secret, but hes posting it on Facebook so he feels like 007, to Steve who thinks its all a load of bollocks and if he wants to wander round town he bloody well can and why the fuck is spoons shut cos his granddad didnt fight the Nazis for him to be told to stay inside even if PornHub premium is now free for a week.
I tried as hard as I could in my studies and in my work in disease control to avoid viruses like the plague (see what I did there?) because they are absolute bastards. Bacteria are so much easier to control and parasites are positively dreamy. Viruses are utter bastards (did I mention that?) because you can do almost fuck all to them. To deal with viruses you have to deal with the viral vector instead. Thats the weak point for a virus. Its vector. Only in this case the vector is humans, bloody stupid, arsehole humans like Chantelle, Bob and Steve. Viral control is about psychology more than its about medicine and thats whats scary about it. Giving everyone a pill is easy, getting everyone to listen and change their behaviour is a fucking nightmare.
The virus is just chugging along being a virus, its living its best life #livelaughcough. You cant ignore it out of existence, scaremonger it away or become magically immune by gargling with vinegar, donning a decorating mask or sticking a live frog up your arse and swanning round town like an immortal dickhead. You have to actually do what youre being told to do. YOU.
YOU. You can stop it. Do what youre told. Stay the fuck inside. Stop thinking youre an expert, stop thinking you know best, stop thinking youre a rebel, stop trying to be a special little cupcake. Be a sheeple. Do what youve been asked to do. This is NOT your time to shine sweet cheeks, this isnt your opportunity to over throw the system and save mankind. Its your opportunity to sit tight, watch Netflix and save mankind.
The virus does not give a shit about you. Youre just a stepping stone, a host, a nameless, faceless breeding ground and launchpad. All it gives a shit about is reproducing and finding new hosts. Dont let it. Break the chain. Shut the hell up. Stop spreading fake news, fear and gossip. Let the experts be the experts and do what they tell you because all the googling, all the conspiracy theories, all the spoilt princess routines and all the voodoo bullshit in the world is not going to help you one little bit. This is not about YOUR ego, its about OUR survival. So act for the good of us all and do what youre being asked to do.
Stay inside, protect the NHS, save lives.
InfoView thread info, including edit history
TrashPut this thread in your Trash Can (My DU » Trash Can)
BookmarkAdd this thread to your Bookmarks (My DU » Bookmarks)
22 replies, 6098 views
ShareGet links to this post and/or share on social media
AlertAlert this post for a rule violation
PowersThere are no powers you can use on this post
EditCannot edit other people's posts
ReplyReply to this post
EditCannot edit other people's posts
Rec (124)
ReplyReply to this post
22 replies
= new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight:
NoneDon't highlight anything
5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Found on Facebook from someone in the UK with a Masters in Disease Control (Original Post)
GoneOffShore
Apr 2020
OP
Bah! You don't gargle vinegar or stick a live frog up your arse. It's both! while humping a hog!
Hermit-The-Prog
Apr 2020
#21
canetoad
(17,136 posts)1. Kick
Great read.
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)2. K&R
Celerity
(43,107 posts)3. spoons is the primark of pubs
and lol @
Chantelle who has impressively made the leap from bath bomb retailer to consultant virologist
hard pressed to think a more chav name
GoneOffShore
(17,337 posts)4. Indeed. A Cooksferry sort of name.
SammyWinstonJack
(44,129 posts)5. Arsehole humans like Chantelle Bob and Steve AND especially tRump.
GoneOffShore
(17,337 posts)6. Oh, let's call him Cadet Covid45.
Throck
(2,520 posts)7. Translated to American English
GoneOffShore
(17,337 posts)13. Brill.
crickets
(25,952 posts)18. Love it! He's adorable. nt
PCIntern
(25,480 posts)8. PornHub Premium is free for a week???!!!???
Holy shit! Be seeing you folks....
love_katz
(2,578 posts)9. Huge kick and rec.
gademocrat7
(10,644 posts)10. K&R!
ProfessorGAC
(64,852 posts)11. Good Post
Sort of felt like I was reading The Ferret. Funny, irreverent, & to the point.
This person did well!
sinkingfeeling
(51,438 posts)12. Hope someone sends this to MF45.
GoneOffShore
(17,337 posts)14. Cadet Covid45 won't understand.
cwydro
(51,308 posts)16. Rec.
Kitchari
(2,165 posts)17. K&R n/t
crickets
(25,952 posts)19. Good read - thanks for sharing that, GoneOffShore. nt
GoneOffShore
(17,337 posts)20. My pleasure.
Did have some tone concern troll idiot on FB complaining about the 'salty' language.
Hermit-The-Prog
(33,254 posts)21. Bah! You don't gargle vinegar or stick a live frog up your arse. It's both! while humping a hog!
GoneOffShore
(17,337 posts)22. Ah yes, and then there's that whole full moon, sacrificing a goat thing.