Little Star, my mom
Little Star my mom, went to the hospital last October around the time of her 73rd birthday. She was complaining of stomach pain. They ran a CT scan where they caught a glimpse of a left lung mass. They ran another CT of her lungs which showed a large mass. She also had an immense amount of fluid around her heart.
The next few days were a blur, but she had major surgery and where they placed a tube to drain the fluid and they took biopsies. The biopsies were all negative for cancer. However that hope was short lived as a month later when they removed the tube they completed a radiologic guided biopsy. Those results were positive for lung cancer.
We met with surgeons and geriatric oncologists. Mom did not want treatment and all the doctors agreed. It would hasten her death. She has lived with me in an in-law apartment for many years. So, I took her home and moved her in with me and have been caring for her.
She has a decline which is expected. I don’t know how much longer I have with her, but my only prayers are to have limited suffering. If you believe in prayer, please pray for the same for her. She has led quite a life where she escaped a brutal marriage and found love again. She has four, daughters who she worked multiple jobs to keep food on the table and roof over our heads. We were always first. She is the best mom anyone could ever want. I am going to miss my best friend and rock when she is called home.
I am working with hospice, but have not needed them again until yesterday. She is in pain. It is a weekend. They helped to get her some pain meds. The medication is helping a little bit. With the COVID, things are screwed up. I am doing my best and expect to see them on Monday. I cannot have her removed from this house. If I do, I and my sisters will never see her again due to Covid and no visiting restrictions. Plus My solemn promise to her is to not ever put her in a home and I intend to keep that promise.
Any how, I am also writing for her. She has been a member of DU for as long as I have. DU for a decade and a half has been our political home and family. DU has given rise to many conversations between us and also an education. It has pissed us off and has given us joy. She loves DU and I want you all to know that.
Love to all,
Little Star and boston bean
= new reply since forum marked as read
family. Holding you all in my thoughts for comfort 
from Hospice. Are they able to provide morphine on a regular basis? Can you get marijuana gummies or drops?
Asking the Universe to send calming, pain-relieving energies. Your mom sounds like an angel.
to you and your sisters. You're lucky to have each other.
Your mom knows she is loved,
All best wishes to Little Star and to you and your family at this (already) difficult time.
Be with her as much as you can, just being there, remembering the good times, the funny stories, the love...give her space if that is what she needs (everyone has their own path on the final journey--my mother-in-law wouldn't die until the family left her bedside, my step-dad sent Mom on an errand so she wouldn't be there when he passed but my Dad wanted to hold a hand as he went). And it's okay to feel however you do and to cry whenever you do...and to laugh, as well.
May you all feel the warmth of love surround you as you pass through this time.
Stay encouraged, Little Star. Know that you are loved.
❤ lmsp
Sending you both my love, Boston Bean & Little Star.
Sounds like you got a handle on things.
She was your angel,.. now you are hers.
(Winchester, Lexington, Concord, Acton, Ayer)
You both appear to be strong people. It takes very strong people to go through hospice in "normal" times. These are not "normal" times and provide so many more challenges for the family. You all will be in my heart, as someone who recently lost a brother to lung cancer. Take care of yourselves, as well as Little Star. Give her hugs from your DU family!
Peace and a gentle passing for Little Star, with solace to all those whom she loves.
-Laelth
I lost my husband 10 years ago to cancer. He fought it the best he could for two years, but it was caused by a lousy gene he inherited so he was never even going to hit remission. The decision to stop treatment was his & I had to respect it. So I can tell you from experience...hospice workers are angels on earth. I don't know how they do it. The next period of time is going to be tough on you. She'll experience ups and downs. There will be a couple of days where you'll swear shes getting better. Keep those pain meds nearby. If they haven't given her morphine yet, they probably will. Don't be afraid to let her have it when she asks for it.
It's a good thing on so many levels you didn't let her go to an assisted care facility. Just as this virus was ramping up, my best friend's mom was hospitalized. A couple of days after she was sent to rehab, they told Susie she wouldn't be allowed in to visit her mom due to the virus concerns. She pulled her out that day.
I know you have a lot on your shoulders right now, but please take time for yourself. The exhaustion that will hit you when this is all over is normal, but in the meantime, remember to eat, get enough rest, and allow yourself to laugh. Pull as many stories out of your mom as you can...there's got to be SOME family legend she hasn't told you about yet. Maybe something her grandparents told her when she was a kid. Record her voice telling you.
The following poem was in the pamphlet the hospice people gave me. I have offered it to everyone I've come across since then who is on this journey. I hope it brings you as much comfort as it brought me. Message me if you want to talk.
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Watch+Gone+From+My+Sight&ru=%2fvideos%2fsearch%3fq%3dWatch%2bGone%2bFrom%2bMy%2bSight%26FORM%3dVDMHRS&view=detail&mid=2A6054A60E9C150D7C822A6054A60E9C150D7C82&rvsmid=8FB58DF0D04EFEFC025E8FB58DF0D04EFEFC025E&FORM=VDMCNR
Wishing the best to both of you, and the rest of your family in this difficult time. A time more difficult than would normally be.
I'm so sorry to hear this.
Give her love and hugs from all of us
I am praying for strength and peace for both of you.
They were only 62, went one after the other.
Their only wishes were to die at home. We worked together, my siblings and I, to make that happen - with the help of hospice for my mom. It meant everything to them.
Little Star is in wonderful, loving hands, boston bean. I pray for a gentle passage for her and love and healing for you.
I used to post in TV Chat with your mom sometimes. She was great at posting about where to find lists of new shows each season, or about the Emmys, or just discussing a show or episode. I always enjoyed reading her posts and chatting with her.
I am so sorry she is ill. Bless you for being a good daughter.
If she were elsewhere, and you couldn't visit at the end, you'd always regret it.
So sorry to lose one of the DU family.
THANK YOU for taking care of you little star!! Will be thinking and praying for you BOTH!!
I know your Mom's (Little Star) time is short, and I grieve for you and your family. Know that the DU community has you and your Mom in our thoughts as you both take this journey. May she be with you to the end.
I am so sorry to hear this. I wish peace for you, your mom and your entire family.
Thinking of you both.
I'm so sorry y'all are going through this, but so grateful the two of you are together.
Lots of love and support to you and your family. 
and be free of any pain or fear. It is a blessing that she can be at home and not in a facility where you could not be with her. Thank you for sharing this so that we can all offer our love and support. You are part of a large and caring community here and are never, ever alone.
This is really tough for both of you
Love to you and Little Star
Thoughts and love to you both.
I know exactly how difficult this is for you, Boston Bean.
To you all.
a host of Hillary's Group and I communicated with her when I wanted to do that, too. She's so Nice! I could never forget her.
I'm so sorry she's going through all this.. you are the Best Daughter.. I'm in tears for all your family.. with Love, Peace & Aloha, Cha
To you both
for Little Star and Boston bean!
You two are always in my thoughts & prayers.
You Mom was always so very nice to me.
I am so very sorry.
Man -- when it rains it pours.
I hate it that you have to go through this. Just anyway. But to have to go through this ON TOP OF everything else going on now! It's gotta feel like a two-fisted blow to the gut. The psychological load you must be carrying! I'm so sorry.
I guess all I can really hope for, for you and her, would be peaceful passage. Safe passage. Gentle transition. On both of you. You need that, too, boston bean.
Much love and sympathy and empathy, too.
Virtual hug -
And know we will be holding you in comforting, loving vibes.
I admire your devotion to each other and the family.
a hug for you and all the family 💞
