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Cyrano

(15,023 posts)
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 01:36 PM Apr 2020

My capacity for empathy has become selective

During most of my life, I can't recall wishing death on my worst enemy. We all have our own values, and although mine are not based on religion, (I'm a devout agnostic), I have encountered people whom I hated.But I never wished them dead. (And no, I'm not a saint. I've just always believed that you only go around once and that human life is precious.)

I have now lost most of my empathy for most Republicans. I really don't care if they live or die. And yes, I know that's a horrible fucking statement and concept. I can't believe I've reached a point where I've said "fuck you and your life" to so many human beings. But there is some broad-based kind of "them" that I hate and with whom I really don't want to share this planet.

The concept of evil was always one I wrestled with. Yet, I believe we're seeing that abstract quality now in far too many people. And it's one I've come to believe in.

In general, the Republican Party couldn't give a shit who lives or dies, as long as they can profit from it and retain power. And their current "Beloved Leader" is the worst offender in these values. The creature currently inhabiting the White House is an empty, soulless man who barely meets the definition of being a human being. And tens of thousands may die because of him during this horrible time.

I regret the loss of my capacity for empathy. Is Trump responsible for that? Are Republicans responsible for that? Yeah, partially. And it's also partially due to my own inability to withstand the assault with which they have attacked our values and our sense of decency.

After we get through this horrible virus, I believe that the future of our country, and perhaps the world, depends on defeating the even worse virus that is called The Republican Party. They are a danger to the concept of human freedom. They are a threat to human decency. They are evil.

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My capacity for empathy has become selective (Original Post) Cyrano Apr 2020 OP
They have no empathy. So it's hard to give them any. LakeArenal Apr 2020 #1
You are not alone. Jamastiene Apr 2020 #2
I pretty much feel that same way Rorey Apr 2020 #3
Right there with ya. Laffy Kat Apr 2020 #28
I don't wish any of them dead. However... Thomas Hurt Apr 2020 #4
"they have to hit bottom and be shocked into change." MyOwnPeace Apr 2020 #51
I have a short list of people that, given the chance, I would shoot off hand... Wounded Bear Apr 2020 #5
Brave post!!! And good on ya!!! ResistantAmerican17 Apr 2020 #6
Sadly Timewas Apr 2020 #7
I don't really understand modifying ones morals for current day politics fescuerescue Apr 2020 #8
Well said. crickets Apr 2020 #15
Agreed in full. Stevegberg Apr 2020 #25
I'm sorry for your loss. Seriously, I really am. Girard442 Apr 2020 #9
I crossed that rubicon years ago. However... DEbluedude Apr 2020 #10
I believe as you do. As MLK said, Cyrano Apr 2020 #12
Yes. And "hopeful thinking" is what has kept me sane for most of my life. DEbluedude Apr 2020 #13
I wish we could live separate from the Sociopaths and whatever happens MarcA Apr 2020 #11
+1000 smirkymonkey Apr 2020 #14
I have empathy, and I don't wish anyone dead. But I am seeing people willfully Squinch Apr 2020 #16
When one loses all empathy, evil and the "bad" humans have prevailed. PufPuf23 Apr 2020 #17
Yup! Stevegberg Apr 2020 #26
I'm Not Sure That Empathy Is A One Way Transaction ProfessorGAC Apr 2020 #43
K and R x 1000 Ferrets are Cool Apr 2020 #18
I was raised to turn the other cheek. William769 Apr 2020 #19
I couldn't agree more BunnyMcGee Apr 2020 #20
I appreciate this post. Kicked and recommended. Stevegberg Apr 2020 #21
Welcome to DU, Stevegberg. calimary Apr 2020 #44
I agree completely. warmfeet Apr 2020 #22
Behold the field.... Arthur_Frain Apr 2020 #23
I don't want people to die, in general. ooky Apr 2020 #24
I understand. bluescribbler Apr 2020 #27
Good for you. EarnestPutz Apr 2020 #42
I Faux pas Apr 2020 #29
same here....... samnsara Apr 2020 #30
Me too...nt Sophiegirl Apr 2020 #31
"An empty, soulless man who barely meets the definition... 3catwoman3 Apr 2020 #32
Right there with you. Empathy means I know Phoenix61 Apr 2020 #33
like I have always said about rebukes. Javaman Apr 2020 #34
This is a great post malaise Apr 2020 #35
Agreed x 2 (spouse and I). n/t Deep State Gnostic Apr 2020 #36
Republicans have felt that way about democrats for decades. Glad it sank in finally. ffr Apr 2020 #37
I'm with you when it comes to being an agnostic. Butterflylady Apr 2020 #38
I'm right there with you. Pepsidog Apr 2020 #39
Same here. Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one with these feelings. n/t SpankMe Apr 2020 #40
Just heard that Boris Johnson has been put into intensive care. My response was... EarnestPutz Apr 2020 #41
Feel the same about Boris Johnson Cyrano Apr 2020 #45
I care too much about who I am to allow them to take my empathy away... cynatnite Apr 2020 #46
Kick and rec!..n/t bluecollar2 Apr 2020 #47
Our future depends on defeating the Republican Party Martin Eden Apr 2020 #48
I really believe we should consider a Czechklosvakia style divorce. Blue_true Apr 2020 #49
A great post hangaleft Apr 2020 #50
My empathy is extraverted, selfish, and inherent. Laelth Apr 2020 #52
Absolutely! nancy1942 Apr 2020 #53
I have some empathy for friends & family who are Cons dustyscamp Apr 2020 #54
Whether or not Chainfire Apr 2020 #55
No ones a saint. And empathy costs nothing. And its healthy. marble falls Apr 2020 #56
republicants have always tested my better nature... Harker Apr 2020 #57
Evil. There is no other word for it. dalton99a Apr 2020 #58

Jamastiene

(38,187 posts)
2. You are not alone.
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 01:42 PM
Apr 2020

I am so fed up with the way Republicans make living in my state (NC) a living hell, that I have lost any empathy for them at all. They contribute nothing to the advancement of the species. They contribute nothing to help anyone or anything but themselves. They openly break the law and flaunt it when they repeatedly get away with it. They KNOW the Democrats will never hold them accountable, because they have danced circles around the Democratic Party to make sure even the few Democrats who do speak up and try to stop them are powerless to do so.

They leave us no choice, really. They are the lowest form of criminal out there and they flaunt it that they get away with it to that degree that they MAKE you hate them, when you might not have normally been much into hating anyhow. They leave us no choice. And trust me, you are not alone. It is just that very few of us are willing to admit we want to hold up a rubber mirror to them and let their hate and corruption bounce back onto themselves.

Rorey

(8,445 posts)
3. I pretty much feel that same way
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 01:43 PM
Apr 2020

I wish I didn't, because, y'know, karma. But I can try to banish the thoughts or talk myself out of them, but they're still there.

At this point, I just can't summon up an ounce of empathy for anyone who still supports OrangeAss and his ilk. They are responsible for pain, suffering and death of some very good people, and that's just not going to ever be okay.

Thomas Hurt

(13,903 posts)
4. I don't wish any of them dead. However...
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 01:44 PM
Apr 2020

I have no concern for them if they choose to not play by the rules. The libertarians and the evangelicals are all about flaunting those rules as a violation of their rights........so be it.

Let them do as they want, protect yourselves from their stupidity and let them get sick and die.

You can't fix stupid or magical thinkers. They are like addicts and they have to hit bottom and be shocked into change.

MyOwnPeace

(16,887 posts)
51. "they have to hit bottom and be shocked into change."
Tue Apr 7, 2020, 09:45 AM
Apr 2020

For over 4 years now I've kept thinking, "Surely THIS is what will get them off of the 'Trump Wagon.'"
I'm convinced now that for many there is no "bottom" to hit - they are brain-addled and dealing with infinity.

Wounded Bear

(58,440 posts)
5. I have a short list of people that, given the chance, I would shoot off hand...
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 01:45 PM
Apr 2020

I didn't used to have one, but I do now.

Yeah, I don't have a lot of sympathy or empathy for those who show none themselves.

ResistantAmerican17

(3,777 posts)
6. Brave post!!! And good on ya!!!
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 01:45 PM
Apr 2020

I too have struggled with this issue. When it comes to drumph and republicans writ large I cannot summon the empathy I typically have for my fellow human beings. Their hatred, ignorance, and greed is disqualifying. The whole bag of them is despicable...

Timewas

(2,174 posts)
7. Sadly
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 01:49 PM
Apr 2020

I agree, they don;t care about anyone but themselves.They have proven that on a daily,hourly basis I see no reason to give a flying f about them.

fescuerescue

(4,448 posts)
8. I don't really understand modifying ones morals for current day politics
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 01:52 PM
Apr 2020

But I supposed it's inevitable in todays environment.

Fact is, todays politics and Trump will be gone in a few years. Someone will eventually replace him and then we'll hate that person even worse than we hate Trump.

Remember when we thought no one could possible be more horrible than Bush? Yea we don't talk about him much anymore do we.

Things like empathy are lifelong aspects of character. Temporal politics are temporal.

Trump will be gone soon. Maybe 9 months or maybe 5 years. Drop in the bucket. Within a decade someone from that side will replace him and *HE WILL BE WORSE*. if the Republican party vanishes, it will be replaced. by a worse party. Enduring people whom we disagree with or find abhorrent are just part of the things that we must do as humans.

Our characters however are lifelong and I don't believe in modifying them for someone that I hate, that I will never meet, nor will ever know me, and who lives hundreds or thousands of miles of way.

but thats just me.


crickets

(25,896 posts)
15. Well said.
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 02:33 PM
Apr 2020
Enduring people whom we disagree with or find abhorrent are just part of the things that we must do as humans.

Girard442

(6,059 posts)
9. I'm sorry for your loss. Seriously, I really am.
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 01:54 PM
Apr 2020

I used to stick up for Evangelicals, despite being a devout agnostic like yourself. It was a mystery to me how they could fail to see Trump for what he was. Then one day, I saw the light. They see Trump exactly the same way I do -- but they like it.

Apparently most of the verses in their New Testaments have been redacted.

DEbluedude

(812 posts)
10. I crossed that rubicon years ago. However...
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 01:55 PM
Apr 2020

I must believe that good will triumph over this evil. Perhaps not in my lifetime, but that doesn't matter. Call me an optimist.

Cyrano

(15,023 posts)
12. I believe as you do. As MLK said,
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 02:08 PM
Apr 2020

"The arc of history bends towards justice."

Maybe it's just hopeful thinking. But the existence of the human species relies on that statement being a universal truth.

DEbluedude

(812 posts)
13. Yes. And "hopeful thinking" is what has kept me sane for most of my life.
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 02:14 PM
Apr 2020

The other option would drive me insane, especially in these times.

MarcA

(2,195 posts)
11. I wish we could live separate from the Sociopaths and whatever happens
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 02:03 PM
Apr 2020

to them happens. Otherwise they should be imprisoned in a Devil's Island
environment for life. Other than being dead there are many ways they could
do restitution to society.

Squinch

(50,773 posts)
16. I have empathy, and I don't wish anyone dead. But I am seeing people willfully
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 02:40 PM
Apr 2020

courting death because of an ignorance that entirely originates in a hatred of liberals. (Education, science, common sense are reviled by these people because they see them as liberal.)

There's really not a lot I CAN do about that, and I am not losing any sleep over it.

PufPuf23

(8,688 posts)
17. When one loses all empathy, evil and the "bad" humans have prevailed.
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 02:44 PM
Apr 2020

Alas.

Things will indefinitely not be the same and likely will be more brutish.

There are obviously those that spin the pandemic to their own selfish ends.

What should be obvious is that we need to come together as a society.

ProfessorGAC

(64,419 posts)
43. I'm Not Sure That Empathy Is A One Way Transaction
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 04:37 PM
Apr 2020

Some on these 2 threads obviously don't see it that way.
But, I don't believe there is anything wise, or particularly noble, about offering empathy toward people who would be happy if I suffer. I don't demand reciprocation, but I think expecting it as a possible outcome is a reasonable threshold.
90% of the cult would not meet that threshold of reasonable expectations.

BunnyMcGee

(460 posts)
20. I couldn't agree more
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 03:06 PM
Apr 2020

I have been feeling increasingly empty for many years (since GWB) with a respite with BHO. I miss feeling fully secure, connected to people in harmony, and enthusiastic for the present and future.

calimary

(80,693 posts)
44. Welcome to DU, Stevegberg.
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 05:09 PM
Apr 2020

It is indeed a most thought-provoking post.

It's a battle that I'd guess many of us are personally struggling with right now. I sometimes look at the statistics shown during the coverage of one or more of the Bible Belt states, the southern states, the Midwest states that went for trump and have republi-CON governors, and I wonder if we'll see a few less in number of those trump-supporters able to go to the polls or otherwise cast a vote in November. And here I'm putting it as gently as I can. But, gotta admit, I have many of those same thoughts.

It's hard to be sympathetic with certain souls, at certain times.

warmfeet

(3,321 posts)
22. I agree completely.
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 03:16 PM
Apr 2020

They are a threat to my life and everyone else's life. That is an intolerable situation and it must change.

Arthur_Frain

(1,783 posts)
23. Behold the field....
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 03:18 PM
Apr 2020

wherein I grow my fucks.......verily you will see that it is barren.

I’m right there with you.

ooky

(8,885 posts)
24. I don't want people to die, in general.
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 03:19 PM
Apr 2020

Trump, Barr, McConnell, Pompeo, for example, I would pop a cork if any of them were to have a heart attack or stroke and drop dead. It would be a great thing for America and Americans for any of those insects to drop dead. I guess I feel like anyone would reasonably feel like about the enemy dying during war, and those people are making war on us. So I don't feel bad about wanting them to meet their end by natural cause as soon as possible. Coronavirus would be fine, but for some reason it doesn't seem to kill the wicked.

The magats and other dumbasses that are stupid enough to keep supporting this moron - I just want them out of my life. I would like to see a political uprising strong enough though to effectively neuter them so as not to continue voting criminal assholes back into government.

bluescribbler

(2,105 posts)
27. I understand.
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 03:25 PM
Apr 2020

Years ago I had a coworker who repeatedly lied about me, tried to stab me in the back and insulted me every chance he got. When the company was acquired by a much bigger company, he was let go but I was kept on simply because I was the only person who know how to do my job. To say I dislike this man would be a gross understatement, but when I do encounter him now, and this has happened a few times in recent years, I shake his hand and ask after his family. I try to let bygones be bygones. He no longer has the power to affect my life in any way, so I let it go and try to be cordial with him. I think it's the right way to be.

3catwoman3

(23,813 posts)
32. "An empty, soulless man who barely meets the definition...
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 03:31 PM
Apr 2020

...of being a human being.” And then some.

He has 46 chromosomes and breathes oxygen. He falls woefully short on pretty much any other criteria/measures.

I wake up every morning hoping to hear he has died overnight, and I don’t feel one bit guilty about that.

Phoenix61

(16,952 posts)
33. Right there with you. Empathy means I know
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 03:36 PM
Apr 2020

understand how you feel and I have no idea how some of those folks feel. They have no problem with children being ripped from their parents, they idolize a man bereft of any semblance of humanity, they use their religion as an excuse for uncountable sins and the list goes on and on. They say it takes all kinds. I respectfully disagree.

Javaman

(62,439 posts)
34. like I have always said about rebukes.
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 03:40 PM
Apr 2020

something only becomes a problem when it effect them directly, beyond that they don't give a shit.

fuck them, fuck them all.

ffr

(22,647 posts)
37. Republicans have felt that way about democrats for decades. Glad it sank in finally.
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 03:57 PM
Apr 2020

Don't feel embarrassed. You're not part of a cult which is why you are having difficulty justifying your feelings. They have no such issues in their black and white world. It's their way or the highway.

Butterflylady

(3,523 posts)
38. I'm with you when it comes to being an agnostic.
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 04:00 PM
Apr 2020

My belief is there are 2 forms of energy at work. Positive energy that is good and negative energy that is evil. Republicans are so full of hatred and I consider that a form of evil. I too am a person of great empathy, however it's be coming harder and harder to have any for those who are helping bring this destruction about. There are some decent republicans who are trying to bring the idiot down, unfortunately not enough. To be a democrat, you have to be a person of empathy.

EarnestPutz

(2,085 posts)
41. Just heard that Boris Johnson has been put into intensive care. My response was...
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 04:33 PM
Apr 2020

..."that's too bad, I hope that he pulls through". It's my selective empathy at work. Boris is a clown, a nutter, and his politics stink, but I don't wish him ill health or a medical calamity. Now if Trump catches the virus, I hope that he lingers for eight days, babbling incoherently in a fever (who could tell) and dies with only Stephen Miller at his bedside. And Stevie comes down with the virus soon after. Not much empathy there, I know.

cynatnite

(31,011 posts)
46. I care too much about who I am to allow them to take my empathy away...
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 07:45 PM
Apr 2020

I've caught myself starting to, but I always stop myself.

If I lose any empathy for another human being, no matter how contemptible I might find them, I lose a part of myself.

Martin Eden

(12,802 posts)
48. Our future depends on defeating the Republican Party
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 09:01 PM
Apr 2020

I definitely agree with that. This election is existential.

I too have harbored deep hatred for Republicans in power who do real damage to human life, our environment, and our democracy. If there is a hell, they deserve to rot in it.

My own anguish over what is happening to our country makes it very easy to hate and to disregard the lives of the voters who elevated the likes of Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump to positions of power in our government and continue to support them.

But, like all people, they are the product of nature and nurture. If they were raised by rightwing fundies and this culture was reinforced their lives by their peers, their church, and media like Fox News, very few will break free of that mindset. They are adults with free will, but they have been conned into voting against their own interests and that of their children.

Most are beyond redemption politically, but many are also normal friendly folks outside the cults they've been indoctrinated into.

Vlad Putin wanted Trump to be president, at least in part, to leverage the divide and animosity which ready existed into full blown hatred and conflict. An America divided against itself is weaker foe, unable to lead the free world against encroaching tyranny.

It is easy to let anger at this POtuS and his enablers turn into a fierce hatred, but ultimately that will consume us.

Believe me, I have indulged my hatred and given it expression. I will never forgive GW Bush for manipulating the tragedy of 9/11 to launch a war based on lies and greed in Iraq. He and Cheney and others are war criminals who belong in prison.

When Bush left office I wrote this poem for what I would say to his face if I could:

I'd tell you to go fuck yourself
But that is much too kind
For if you could perform that feat
You'd take pleasure in your behind

I'd like to say eat shit and die
But you deserve much more
You should suffer all the grief and pain
Of your misbegotten war

Though I could never make you think
Or feel, or understand
I'll take solace when you hear your name
Cursed throughout the land

From inside a lonely prison cell
Dark and bare and cold
Where every day you pay for your crimes
Until you're sick, heartbroken, and old

And when you finally leave the earth
You fucked over oh so well
If there us a God and afterlife
You're going straight to Hell.

Blue_true

(31,261 posts)
49. I really believe we should consider a Czechklosvakia style divorce.
Mon Apr 6, 2020, 09:09 PM
Apr 2020

Break the country in two, have a common defense pact for two decades. People get funded to move to a liberal or conservative half, including buying up businesses that some own. People under 18 get one free chance to choose the opposite country their parents brought them to through the age 25, after that they have to apply to enter. I am more certain that we are headed for trouble given the strong divisions between how two approximate halves view the country.

 

hangaleft

(649 posts)
50. A great post
Tue Apr 7, 2020, 09:37 AM
Apr 2020

I wish Joe Biden would read it and acknowledge that we can’t “reach across the aisle” and work with the “other side”. They are no longer the other side and haven’t been for decades. They are the enemy and have to be treated as such.

I believe Biden is a good and decent man. But if he’s going to be a good president the first thing he has to do is recognize that we’re literally at war. Right now it’s a cold war, but it’s a war nevertheless. And Joe has to knock off the “I can work with the other side and get things done” crap. Might as well tell voters he’s gonna get them all a pet unicorn.

Laelth

(32,017 posts)
52. My empathy is extraverted, selfish, and inherent.
Tue Apr 7, 2020, 09:55 AM
Apr 2020

I feel both the joy and the pain of every being that I encounter. I can’t help it. It’s an inherent feature of my being, and it is getting stronger as I get older.

I am a healer who wants to ease the pain of the world. I can not stop feeling the pain of others, so I want to make the pain of others go away. My motive is selfish. I prefer to ease the pain of others because I don’t want to feel their pain myself, as I nearly always do. I can’t help it.

For a highly empathic person, empathy can’t be abandoned or lost. It is both a blessing and a curse that one merely learns to live with.



-Laelth

Chainfire

(17,305 posts)
55. Whether or not
Tue Apr 7, 2020, 10:38 AM
Apr 2020

you consider Republicans in particular and conservatives in general your enemy, you can believe that the consider you their enemy.

I have broken with a lot of friends, and family, over their becoming card carrying, faithful members of the party of greed, hate and fear. They exposed their inner selves and chose their paths and I no longer care what happens to them.

Harker

(13,877 posts)
57. republicants have always tested my better nature...
Tue Apr 7, 2020, 11:37 AM
Apr 2020

as they are strewn along my chosen path like so many large, fresh piles of shit.

I don't particularly want them dead, but I most certainly want them to stop causing suffering. If dying is the only way for them to achieve that, then there will be some joy to be found in it.

I'm a half-assed Buddhist at best. The teachings that focus on viewing difficult people as treasure troves of opportunity for practicing compassion, and those that instruct one to view oneself as inferior to all others are becoming increasingly difficult for me, rather than more natural.

I'll keep trying. My empathy is being severely tested.

dalton99a

(81,065 posts)
58. Evil. There is no other word for it.
Tue Apr 7, 2020, 11:43 AM
Apr 2020

There is no sugar coating it

Don't ever give them the benefit of the doubt.



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