Pandemic Dining in Minnesota

[MineralMan]

"What's for dinner?" my wife asked. She managed to convince me before we got married that her mother never taught her to cook, so I've been the household kitchen help for almost 30 years now. I believed her, and it's far too late now to question her original statement made before we tied the knot.

My response was, "I'll have to look and see what the options are."

After a quick look at the fridge and the pantry, I could see a menu developing. In the veggie drawer, I saw a bunch of green onions and some slightly limp celery. There was a jar of Queen olives, too, stuffed with pimentos. I spied a new bottle of Mayo, too, along with a squeeze bottle of Dijon mustard. Over on the counter was a half loaf of sliced sourdough bread. I remembered that there were some cans of Chicken of the Sea chunk white tuna in water in the pantry closet.

"Tuna Salad sandwiches." I said.
"Cool."

So, I pulled out the big electric skillet, plugged it in, melted a quarter of a stick of butter, and brushed both sides of six thick slices of the sourdough bread lightly with the butter. By then, the skillet showed that it had hit 325 degrees. I dropped the bread slices in to toast one side.

I grabbed my chef's knife, chopped up the green onions into a fine dice and did the same to two stalks of the celery. I sliced six of the large olives into rounds and chopped those too. I transferred the chopped ingredients into a bowl with my chef's knife. Then, I checked my bread, and flipped the slices to toast on the other side. I opened two cans of tuna, drained the water and dumped them in the bowl. I squeezed a large dollop (1/3 cup) of mayo into the bowl, added a couple of tablespoons of Dijon mustard, a big pinch of celery seed, and stirred the whole thing up just enough to mix all the ingredients, but not too much. I wanted some visible chunks of tuna.

I wiped off the cutting board carefully, and plopped the now-toasted buttered bread on it. I unplugged the skillet. With a wooden spoon, I scooped out the contents of the bowl, dividing it evenly onto three of the bread slices, pressing it down into an even, thick layer. Then I added the three other toasted bread slices on top and cut the sandwiches carefully with my ever-so-sharp scalloped bread knife.

I transferred the sandwiches to paper plates, tore off paper towels to serve as napkins, and served up our dinner, just in time for the local news on TV.

Classic Crunchy Tuna Salad Sandwiches on Sourdough Toast. Everyone approved, even the doggies, who got a bit of the crust with a little of the tuna salad as a treat. 10 minutes from idea to table. Yumm...

Something good to eat; nothing much to clean up.

[underpants]

1. I offered take cook up the bacon yesterday for BLTs

I was informed that we didn't have mayo. I was then informed that we just couldn't have BLTs without mayo. Unpossible.

I understand that the mayonnaise wagon is scheduled to stop by here today.

[MineralMan]

2. Ha! No mayo. No problem.

Just butter the toast. There's plenty enough grease in the bacon. You wouldn't miss the mayo at all, I think.

[underpants]

3. That's EXACTLY what I said

I'm surprised my wife didn't just make some. Her grandmother and mother definitely taught her how to cook.

[MineralMan]

4. Well, not everyone has whisked up some mayo on demand.

Getting it right isn't that simple.

[Grammy23]

10. Immersion blender to the rescue.

Eggs, oil, salt and lemon juice. Let that Blender work it’s magic. Almost impossible to screw up. Start at the bottom of the jar (big enough for blender to fit in) and slowly pull Up as the oil and eggs emulsify. Perfect mayo. Probably better than store bought because you control what goes in it.

[MineralMan]

11. I make it in small quantities only, so I use a whisk.

On a trip to France, the tour bus stopped at a Hypermart somewhere. Everyone went in to visit the food court. I stayed outside, because there was a trailer there selling hamburgers. I went over to it and ordered one. They had some lovely-looking oblong buns that looked freshly baked. There were sliced grilled onions on the propane-fired griddle, pushed over to the side.

The man doing the cooking took a piece of beef from the cooler and quickly chopped it up with a knife, and then formed a patty to fit the oblong buns and slapped it on the flattop. As it began to sizzle, he picked up a copper bowl and whisked up some mayo on the spot. When it was done, he flipped the chopped beef patty and put a pile of the grilled onions on top of it. I waited. Finally, he cut one of the buns and thickly spread the freshly made mayo on both sides of the bun. On one half, he put a slice of white cheese, and then laid the patty on top of that, fresh off the grill. He put the other half of the bun on that and quickly wrapped the sandwich in white butcher paper and handed it to me after I paid. A generous amount of paper toweling accompanied the burger, and was needed.

I sat down on a boulder near the bus and ate the best burger I had ever tasted in my life. The bread roll had a crusty exterior and an airy, fragrant interior. The grilled onions and fresh mayo just all worked beautifully with the beef, which had a nice sear on it. Wonderful!

About then, out came the rest of the tour bus passengers, carrying their MacDonald's bags. Foolish people.

[PufPuf23]

5. I had a tuna sandwich for dinner last night too.

Had intended to make a vegetable stir fry plus rice in rice cooker but got lazy.

Tuna salad was Costco albacore tuna plus mayo plus black pepper plus sweet pickle juice served on onion bagel plus sweet pickle rounds and spinach. Plus I made two to use all the tuna salad and one is today's lunch now sitting on a plate under plastic wrap in the refrigerator. My provisions are much better as went to grocery last Saturday for the first time since March 2.

[MineralMan]

6. Sounds Yummy!

It's hard to go wrong with tuna salad. You can use the very same recipe for egg salad or chicken salad, actually. Adding additional ingredients just makes any of them better. I like a bit of crunch in my sandwich salads, and add the mustard to give it all a little bite.

I learned to cook by doing my homework on the kitchen table and watching my mother. If I asked, she'd explain the process of what she was making as she went. I found it fascinating, but didn't cook at the time. Later, when I was on my own, I just did what she did and fed myself just fine.

I branched out from there, though.

[PufPuf23]

8. My cooking skills came from watching my mother and grandmother.

Very old fashioned as lived extremely rural growing up with animals, garden, and forest.

I have a garden each year. The other day debated poaching a deer. Have not hunted since the 1960s but grew up in that culture. Deer come into my yard nearly tame. There was a doe several years ago with a fawn and the doe would eat from my hand. I was watching a friend's young son as he worked and we fed the doe. The next time they came over the boy brought his bow and arrows. Yum venison. Not truly serious about deer death (unless some sort of social collapse). But know how to hunt, care for meat, and have two meat saws.

[ekelly]

7. Sounds great! But my burning question is...

rectangles, or triangles???

[MineralMan]

9. My wife believes that a diagonal cut is proper.

So, that's what I do. Personally, I prefer a simple cut across the sandwich. It's easier to hold and less of the innards of the sandwich fall out on your plate or your lap.

However, since we each ate a sandwich and a half, I cut them all into triangles. Maintaining harmony and peace is always the top priority.

I believe the diagonal cut was created to stop children from whining, "But Nancy got a bigger piece!" That's my theory. It's harder to calculate the area of a triangle than a rectangle.