So, what are people doing about their sex lives?

[stopbush]

Basically enjoying “themselves?”

Just thought I’d ask.

“The first time I had sex I was scared. I was SO scared!...I was all alone.” - Rodney Dangerfield

😊😉

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. A New Zealand company that makes sex toys is doing very well.

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/health/new-zealand-sex-toy-boom-essential-service-a4410831.html

[Whiskeytide]

21. Do they have a 6 ft long toy? n/t

[cayugafalls]

2. That Rodney Dangerfield joke is so funny, because it is so true! nt

[Recursion]

3. You know those pandas who finally started breeding in the zoo?

Just saying. All it takes is some enforced privacy sometimes.

[lpbk2713]

4. Dangerfield ...

When I was a kid we were so poor all I had to play with was myself.

[customerserviceguy]

34. One of my favorites

of his was, "When I was a kid, we were so poor, that for my birthday, my father showed me a picture of a cake. I was so disappointed. I tried all day to blow out the candles!"

[TEB]

5. My wife

Makes me wear a mask and stand six feet away

[Aristus]

7. Really makes you want to work on your aim.

Marksmanship is everything...

[TEB]

8. I didn't have my glasses on

I shot a bolo bro back to the range redo my battle sight zero

[Aristus]

11. A tanker will tell you to toggle your reticle and aim center-mass.

[TEB]

17. Look I'm not complaining

I don’t have to wear a paper bag anymore just the mask I’m thankful

[Aristus]

19. HA!

[BeckyDem]

10. LOL

[Maven]

12. LOL!

[Disaffected]

16. Does it still work?

[TEB]

18. Yea

I’m not firing armor piercing rounds out my m60 machine gun anymore just tracers

[ck4829]

6. Dry spell since 2009, here before COVID, and said dry spell will still be around when COVID

exists only as a sample in a slide in some pathology lab.

[lagomorph777]

15. +1

[BeckyDem]

9. lol +1

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

13. Probably no different for people that live with their SO. n/t

[Dem2]

14. I was in-between relationships

Taking a break, so no big deal really.

[dweller]

20. wait what? i'm supposed to be doing something about it ?

🤔

been in a truce since forever

✌🏼

[Crunchy Frog]

22. What's a "sex life"?

[Dem2theMax]

27. Ditto.

[central scrutinizer]

23. My right hand

Doesn’t know what my left hand is doing

[Stallion]

24. I'm Re-Applying for "Virgin-Status" with the Pope

[PCIntern]

25. With your username?

Maybe not...😜

[Laffy Kat]

26. I've been divorced for awhile and was just starting to think..

About getting back into the ole dating saddle again when this happened. I'll wait.

[mitch96]

28. I'm guessing the sex for hire and porn industry is dead in the water... nt

[hunter]

29. Coronavirus and sex: What you need to know

If I have sex can I catch coronavirus? You might have thought about it but been too embarrassed to ask.

To separate the facts from myths, we've put your questions to health experts.

Dr Alex George is an A&E doctor and former Love Island contestant. Alix Fox is a sex journalist, presenter of BBC Radio 1's Unexpected Fluids show, and co-host of The Modern Mann podcast.

--more--

https://www.bbc.com/news/newsbeat-52063221

[WestLosAngelesGal]

30. I'm saving myself for the afterlife...

... if there is indeed one.

[Politicub]

31. Sex? What's that?

I haven’t had much of a sex life for a few years.

[totodeinhere]

32. Look for a baby boom next December and January.

With people cooped up together in the same house there will plenty of time for lots of sex.

[thesquanderer]

35. Either that or lots of divorce. (n/t)

[panader0]

33. You had to go there didn't you?

[Xolodno]

36. Pick up lines I read somewhere else....

If COVID-19 doesn't take you out...can I?

Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket are you just happy to be within 6 ft. of me.

Since all the public libraries are closed, I'm checking you out instead.

You can't spell virus without U and I.

Baby, do you need toilet paper? Because I can be your Prince Charmin.

I saw you from across the bar. Stay there.

Without you, my life is empty as a supermarket shelf.

Hey, can I ship you a drink?

You can't spell quarantine without "U R A Q T".

I really can't stay.

Baby is COVID-19 outside.

[LuckyCharms]

37. I wear a mask when I masturbate.

Afterwards, I'm so ashamed that I social distance away from myself.