Trump Campaign Ready to Announce Major Changes

[Newest Reality]

Delusia, FL: A Trump campaign spokesperson revealed today that the campaign will be changing tactics even though it is rather late in the game.

The announcement, (due out later this week) will include a revision of the current slogan: Keep America Great. The new slogan will be: Make American Somewhat Survivable Again, or MASSA. The person we spoke with informed us that the old slogan is no longer fair to the President because the pandemic was not his fault and he has no responsibility in the matter and it is very important to the campaign that it adapts to changing times and unexpected circumstances in order to keep this country going kind of strong, especially the essential and most important industries that matter most.

We were also told that a new web site will be launched soon where devoted followers can exchange their current Trump campaign paraphernalia for the new items for a nominal fee of $29.99 per item.

There are also rumors of a new platform that the White House and the GOP will be endorsing which includes: the Toilet Paper Availability Act, which will assure a roll, (comes in red, white and blue) in every American bathroom and Freedom Stations which will be massive retreat facilities for all the Americans who have made patriotic sacrifices of housing, automobiles, food and other necessities for the sake of Trump's agendas.

Those Freedom Stations will provide Americans with permanent dwellings and the necessary dignity of the hard labor that they will be freely donating to make America somewhat survivable again thanks to Trump and the GOP. Also, the new platform will assure that the struggling food pantries across the nation will have at least "nearly enough" food available sometimes as they bid for Trump Relief allotments.

"You can do this! We'll be watching!" the spokesperson said triumphantly.

[leftieNanner]

1. Delusia, Florida!!!

This is awesome!!

[empedocles]

2. Thanks, I skimmed past that one.

[leftieNanner]

3. I did too, initially

But once I understood the tone of the op, I checked top and bottom for a source - The Onion, perhaps.

Sadly, this is pretty much on the mark.

[yonder]

11. Yep. Good ern.

[DENVERPOPS]

12. I have started calling it......FLORIDUHHHHH........ N/C

[jayschool2013]

17. Between Deland and Deltona

Just east of New Smyrna, but definitely in Vo(De)Lusia County.

Brilliant.

[Aviation Pro]

32. So, it's in the Atlantic Ocean?

.....

[jayschool2013]

46. Ha!

I guess I meant west of New Smyrna!

[Faux pas]

4. Kicketty Kickin'

[Thomas Hurt]

5. That works, now the Trumplodytes can just say "Yes sir, Massa" to everything he says.

Massats isn't as good as MAGAts though.

Maybe Masshats...there you go.

[Newest Reality]

6. That did come to mind...

MASSAhats. I like it.

[padah513]

7. Massa?

Really?

[More_Cowbell]

8. No. Not really. nt

[erronis]

13. Close to Massholes which some (not me) in neighboring states call our Baked Bean friends.

[Newest Reality]

21. Good candidate...

It fits.

[bluescribbler]

16. Jst don't call them Massholes.

That nickname is reserved for citizens of the great Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

[Newest Reality]

22. Oh...

Taken, huh?

[bluescribbler]

44. Taken, yes.

And proudly, at that.
i can't find it now, but a couple of years ago, when there was a referendum to get rid of same sex marriage which the Mass Supreme Judicial Court had previously ruled that such a ban violated the state Constitution an advocacy group ran ads opposing the referendum ran an ad in which the blue collar guy at the bar ended his rant by saying, "We're Massholes, not assholes."

[Newest Reality]

45. Oh, I see.

I didn't know about that. Interesting.

Thanks.

[bluescribbler]

47. It originating among our neighboring states.

They don't like Mass drivers mostly because they don't like the way we drive. We've since adopted it as a point of pride.

[kimbutgar]

9. That toilet paper should have his image on it!

[Bernardo de La Paz]

14. Trump will be forever known

[kimbutgar]

15. +1 haha

[keithbvadu2]

18. Lips to lips/cheeks

[Bernardo de La Paz]

23. There's a table behind tRump's press rallies & cabinet meetings with TP for lips. . . . nt

[Newest Reality]

31. That's the brand!

Maybe they will consider that for our new, copious government allotments of TP, ah, Trump Paper, I mean.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

33. "Trump Paper" -- I like the meme! . . . nt

[Newest Reality]

35. Yeah, me too!

"Where you going?"

"Oh, we're out of Trump paper. Gonna' grab some at the store."

I may start using that myself it is so very befitting.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

39. It's also a good swear word: "Ah, go tRump yourself!" . . . nt

[Newest Reality]

41. I have been thinking about...

I have been thinking about a list of new words that all have negative connotations and definitions that could go in the dictionary someday, just to remind us, NEVER AGAIN!

Trumper, trumped, trumpiest, trumpification, trumptation, trumptator, trumpilation, trumpificator, trumpist, trumpolene, trumptic tank, etc.

[ffr]

10. MASSA

[The Magistrate]

19. Nicely Done, Sir

"They'll pay to know what they really think."

[Newest Reality]

25. Thank You!

I hope the humor of it bought a chuckle, as dire as things are these days.

[panfluteman]

20. It Seems Like There's a Volusia Florida, But Not a Delusia Florida!

I tried googling it up on google maps.

[Newest Reality]

24. Well,

Maybe someday. I made that up for the parody.

In a way, I am surprised you didn't find it though Maybe its a county. Heheh.

[ProfessorGAC]

26. Well Played!

Great post!
Rec'd.

[Newest Reality]

27. Oh, thank you!

I was hoping it would be a bit entertaining, humorous and cathartic.

[Tweedy]

30. It was and is.

[malaise]

28. Massa days done

Fuck that slavery term

OK you caught me

[Tweedy]

29. Imagining the damage red dye in toilet paper

could do. 😬

[CaptYossarian]

34. The other announcemenr made was the substitution

of a duel in place of the debates.

Duh-nald recently watched Raiders of the Lost Ark and he's insisting on giving Biden a sword, while Trump carries a pistol.

This will become a tradition even after Junior or Ivanka become the Premier of Trumpsylvania.

[Newest Reality]

37. Ah,

That information was supposed to be s secret and announced after the election, but the drifter's out of the bag now.

[William769]

36. Kick & recommended.

[Newest Reality]

42. Thanks!

[mountain grammy]

38. MASSA.

[ananda]

40. LOL

That was great!

[Newest Reality]

43. Glad you enjoyed! Thanks!