I think I know what the problem is... RW Evangelicals must have different bibles than everyone else!

[ck4829]

The Bible verses where Jesus says "Look, I'm not a healing clerk, OK?" or "I inherited a faulty system from David!" just don't appear in my good book.

[JustAnotherGen]

1. The Book

They seriously do. Highlighted in Red throughout - they are told how to interpret it.

I bought a copy in 2004 out of curiosity for the monumental amount of bullshit my brother was spouting.

And he knew better because we grew up in The King James.

He flirted evangelical, went back to Baptist, and now goes to a Methodist church with my mom.

[DBoon]

2. You jest, but this is real

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/conservative-bible-projec_n_310037

Lo and behold, the Bible has gotten too liberal, according to a group of conservatives. And it needs a little editing.

That’s the inspiration behind the Conservative Bible Project, which seeks to take the text back to its supposed right-wing roots.

Yes, even scripture is not orthodox enough for the modern conservative. Not that it’s the fault of the author(s), exactly. The group cites a few reasons why the Bible is too progressive: “Lack of precision in the original language ... lack of precision in modern language” and “translation bias in converting the original language to the modern one.”

So how can the Bible be conservatized? The group has proposed a Wikipedia-like group editing project. Some of the ideas would only bring the translation closer to the original. But others would fundamentally change the text.

[lame54]

15. What do they charge for loaves and fishes?

[JHB]

3. It's the Old Asterisk Translation...

You know, the one where Jesus says "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you*" and "Love thy neighbor as you love thyself*".

The asterisk, of course, points them to the long, long list of exceptions and people for whom "that doesn't count".

[True Blue American]

6. King James

New Testament works for me. Of course I am under the New Covanant. Have to wonder where these people are coming from.

Of course they compared Trump to Winston Churchill during the election. He drank and smoked so he was comparable to Trump sins. They kind of neglected to mention Winston out on the streets of London comforting people while the bombs fell.

The dear old Southern Baptist Preacher was finally ejected after it came out there were 700 reports of sexual misconduct under his reign, including a few of his own.

[Girard442]

4. They have the same Bible. They just don't pay attention to the New Testament.

Their central stories are about the Flood of Noah and Sodom and Gomorrah. You know, where God wipes out the people that pissed Him off.

[True Blue American]

8. If they were

Saved by Christ you have to wonder how they neglect that second part.

[Girard442]

9. I'm guessing the "born again" experience happened to most of them in their early teens.

It's not an age where deep understanding comes naturally to most people. The mentality I saw most often was "Got my Get Out of Hell Free card. I'm good."

[True Blue American]

13. Never mind the

Go and sin no more bit!

[Runningdawg]

5. I was raised in RW religious cult

Only a few of the men actually read the book. The congregation is "blessed" by their divinely inspired translation. The masses can read a passage that directly contradicts a pastor or elder and yet they will interpret it to glorify their leaders. ANY attack against him, is an attack against God himself.

[Aristus]

7. That's a charitable outlook.

I think they just don't know how to read...

[Andy823]

10. Well, Jehovahs Witnesses

Have rewrote the Bible not once but twice. Helps to rewrite it so they can change a few things to fit their own "unique" teachings, and cover up things they predicted that didn't happen!

[Frances]

11. Or their Bibles don't have

Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John

[Towlie]

12. The Bible has verses to support anything you already believe.

My favorite example:

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. - Proverbs, Chapter 1, verse 7

(and in the very next book of the Old Testament...)

For in much wisdom is much grief, And he who increases knowledge increases sorrow. - Ecclesiastes, chapter 1, verse 18

[Wounded Bear]

16. Selective interpretation of the Bible is a Christian staple...

that's how you get so many sects and splinter groups.

[onethatcares]

20. I like

"from he who has much, much is required"

Luke 12:48

[Drahthaardogs]

14. They do.

It is not the same Bible as Catholic, Orthodox, or Anglican. They also interpret it differently.

[Marrah_Goodman]

17. They claim to worship Jesus, but do not follow the new testement

[Girard442]

18. I sometimes wonder if it's a historical accident...

...that the God of the Old Testament and the God of the New Testament are considered to be the same deities. They have way different attitudes about stuff.

[Marrah_Goodman]

19. It's easier to convert people if you don't tell them it is a completely different God