General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMy mom just had a stroke.
I just got home, it's 4:30 AM here and I can't sleep for crying. Her husband is with her at the moment and I will return after a few hours of sleep and taking care of their dog. She can't speak and it's frustrating as hell for her. If you have any extra kind thoughts or vibes she could use them right about now.
Sorry for the downer. I just had to share this though.
= new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight:
NoneDon't highlight anything
5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Firebrand Gary
(5,044 posts)You hang in there!
mfcorey1
(11,134 posts)leftynyc
(26,060 posts)I know it's scary but there have been many improvements in treating strokes. Especially if they got to her early. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Whovian
(2,866 posts)She was in hospital within 30 minutes on heperin to try and dissolve the clot an hour later. I have no idea what comes next. And it is scary, Leftynyc.
leftynyc
(26,060 posts)My understanding is that anything inside an hour is excellent. Just try and keep her calm, listen to what the doctors have to say and take good care of yourself.
Whovian
(2,866 posts)She's feisty and a strong FDR Dem who won't go quietly into any goodnight. Her lack of speech is really frustrating for her.
leftynyc
(26,060 posts)and keeping calm is very important (I can only imagine her frustration in having trouble speaking). We need her vote in November!!!
NotThisTime
(3,657 posts)busted those are good signs. Sometimes it's a road to recovery back but people do recover..... it's not always easy but it is worth fighting for
ananda
(35,145 posts)If not, they might have to do surgery, and the prognosis
could still be good.
davidpdx
(22,000 posts)I didn't see this before I posted down thread. With the medical advances in the last ten years and the quick response time her odds of recovery are really good. When she wakes up make sure to tell her she gave you a scare.
Tigress DEM
(7,887 posts)
ThatsMyBarack
(7,641 posts)
luvspeas
(1,883 posts)A really bad one. She was not expected to live or live very well. I'm happy to say that she's still with us and doing all right. Can't use her left side very well, but has lots of friends and family. The early days are very hard, please hang in there. I'm sending you all my positive energy and hopes that she recovers soon.
Downwinder
(12,869 posts)Some things come back. They have some very good therapies. Look at Gabby.
xchrom
(108,903 posts)Like that happen.
phylny
(8,818 posts)Trust me, it can get much better. Make certain the facility has speech therapy in and that they test her to see what sort of augmentative communication she can use - from pointing to pictures to using a device, which will help reduce her frustration.
PM me and let me know if she has a cell phone, and what type, or if anyone in the family has an iPad or iPhone and I can give specific advice. I probably won't be on until later, as I'm going to work.
This acute phase is the scariest, but patients often make remarkable progress post stroke.
FailureToCommunicate
(14,605 posts)My friend had a stroke last year and with the help of his -several- speech pathologists he is doing ever so much better. It's still difficult, but he is far less frustrated by his inability to make us understand what he is saying. Partly his two daughters are now so used to his speech, that they are able to clarify his comments, and conversations have become real conversations again, much to his pleasure.
(We tried the ipad with speech software, but his eyes do not track together yet and so even the large screen is problematic.)
Again thanks for all you do!
Not Me
(3,409 posts)she also has a plethora of other health issues. This happened on a Saturday morning...she knew something was wrong and hit her emergency pendant for help. When she arrived at the hospital she could barely speak. Other major faculties were checking out ok.
Within three days, she had regained her speech (a little slurred) and wanted to go home. They agreed there was no good reason to keep her! I speak with her everyday, and her speech is just about 100% again.
So please know that these are not always as dehabilitating as you may think. Hugs!!
Whovian
(2,866 posts)My mom is 80. So is my Dad who is stressing even worse than me. Your post gives me hope.
Liberal_in_LA
(44,397 posts)
JustAnotherGen
(38,054 posts)To send the best it has to you and your mom and family. I was there in 1998 with my dad. And it's NOT a downer. This is not a death sentence . . . It's the beginning of a marathon as she recovers, endures physical therapy, and struggles through speech therapy.
Has the hospital assigned your family a social worker yet? 
jerseyjack
(1,361 posts)Suggestion that may help.... she can't speak but she may be able to type/communicate on a keyboard when she improves
Her husband is with her at the moment and I will return after a few hours of sleep and taking care of their dog. but i love my mom
malaise
(296,114 posts)
Mom will recover
Sienna86
(2,153 posts)Thank you for sharing this news about you Mom. Please keep us posted.
Carolina
(6,960 posts)prayers for your Mom's full recovery. I truly know what you're going through as mine had hemorrhagic one and sadly passed away.
Your Mom's stroke sounds like an ischemic type and recovery from them today is often quite good with prompt medical care and therapy.
All the best
Whovian
(2,866 posts)I believe the neuro consult did say ischemic. I'm so tired and without sleep at the moment it's a bit hard to remember everything.
Cane4Dems
(308 posts)Stay strong and positive
GreenPartyVoter
(73,393 posts) 
Sherman A1
(38,958 posts)My 92 year old Mom had one in February and while not 100% now is back to working 4 days each week. Yes, she is 92 and still working. She has always worked and finds herself bored when she is at home for an extended period of time with nothing but the TV going.
tibbir
(1,170 posts)My ex-husband had a stroke and, after the first period which was scary as hell, he had a full recovery. Took a little time but medicine is much better now with this. Since she got treatment early there's an even better chance for good outcome.
secondwind
(16,903 posts)grandmother and my heart goes out to your mom... hopefully, she was taken care of promptly, and if so, you will see your "old mom" back!
Omaha Steve
(109,229 posts)Take care of you too.
skeewee08
(1,983 posts)
OneGrassRoot
(23,953 posts)
And hugs of comfort for you...
onecent
(6,096 posts)family. Blessings to you all....and hugs to you.
BanzaiBonnie
(3,621 posts)your mom and the whole family, Whovian.
ejpoeta
(8,933 posts)The first one we thought she was goofing around. I sort of remember it but was just a kid so am going more on my sisters' recollection of it. She started talking funny and dropped her coffee cup. Took a couple minutes to realize it was serious. ((hugs)) and hoping your mom has a speedy recovery.
66 dmhlt
(1,941 posts)And as a physician, I just want to remind everyone that if you ever think you, a friend or family member might be having a stroke - please act F.A.S.T.
catbyte
(39,153 posts)Thank you.
Chorophyll
(5,179 posts)People often recover very well from strokes.
handmade34
(24,017 posts)to you and Mom
shraby
(21,946 posts)times. The feeling finally came back and stayed. Just hang in there, things can turn around. I wish you all the luck in the world.
Imamazed
(5 posts)Keeping you, your mom and family in my prayers. {{{hugs}}}
Ima
rurallib
(64,688 posts)
yellerpup
(12,263 posts)and peace for your family.
catbyte
(39,153 posts)My mom had a stroke several years ago and it was so scary. Please know that you, your mom and your whole family are in my thoughts and prayers. If there's anything I can possibly do, please let me know. People here at DU are pretty wonderful, so you've come to a safe place.
Again, if you need someone to talk to who knows something of what you're going through, I'm here.
Please take care.
Diane
Anishinaabe in MI & mom to Taz, Nigel, and baby brother Sammy, members of Dogs Against Romney, Cat Division
"Dogs Aren’t Luggage--HISS!”
and
"THANK YOU, DU, FOR SAVING MY HOME!"
myrna minx
(22,772 posts) 
gollygee
(22,336 posts)I hope she's doing as well as can be expected. <3
davidpdx
(22,000 posts)I will keep you in my thoughts and hope your mother recovers.
I'm not in the United States, but I have a Skype landline number in Oregon that will forward to me here in Korea if you ever want to talk to someone who's parent has had a stroke.
Just hang in there and take it one day at a time.
nolabear
(43,850 posts)Strokes are terrible but I do know many folks who have done okay. Here's hoping your mom has a great recovery.
polly7
(20,582 posts)30 minutes until treatment is really encouraging. I hope she recovers well.
Indpndnt
(2,391 posts)Like the others said, keep the faith.
FailureToCommunicate
(14,605 posts)he is recovering well, if slowly. Your mom's stroke sounds like the clot kind (ischemic) if they gave her clot busting meds (heperin)
so that can be better news for her then the other type of stroke. My friend had the bleed kind (hemorrhagic) which caused swelling affecting a host of body and motor control issues. That has made his recovery have set backs because he has fallen several times (he's not old and still thinks he can just get up and walk forward)
Anyway, take comfort that your mom's situation was attended to so quickly and recovery may be swifter because they got the meds to her right away. It may be frustrating for her to have difficulty expressing herself. If her eyes work okay (my friend's eyes where not tracking together so using a computer became almost impossible) may I suggest getting her -or borrowing- an ipad with picture to speech software, like Proloquo2go. It may help ease the frustration of even hospital visits from her friends and family
(Even simple things like "I'm tired, lets talk more later"
Here info on speech software and a 60 Minutes piece on the ipad for speech assistance (mainly autism... but similar issues)
Good luck, and stay positive!
http://www.assistiveware.com/product/proloquo2go
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7385686n&tag=contentBody;storyMediaBox
MadrasT
(7,237 posts)My mother had a stroke and it was really scary. Hope your mom will be OK.
Frustratedlady
(16,254 posts)They have made great strides with strokes to help victims regain some of their prior abilities. I hope she is able to go through a good therapy program. It will take time, though.
Tikki
(15,140 posts)Mom's are strong...hoping for a strong recovery for her.
Tikki
Greybnk48
(10,724 posts)I'll be thinking of you both.
Odin2005
(53,521 posts)Egalitarian Thug
(12,448 posts)
hollysmom
(5,946 posts)Her English came back, but she was very angry for a while. Oddly enough she still had Polish, but she never allowed her children to learn that, so...
There is therapy and some great retraining computer software.
the issues mom had were frustration, but hand signals and non-verbal communication helped - keep telling her she will get better, she needs to hear that.
then there was the embarrassment of losing English and the rudeness of people. Mom got a chip on her shoulder and felt people thought she was stupid. She would not even try to talk to most people, but we got numbers back by playing bingo with her the number caller.
She recovered language within a year, she even joined a bowling team, but I took away her car keys and that hurt her, but along with language she lost peripheral vision.
Sadly, her arteries were so blocked, that she had a heart attack and died a little over a year later.
With quick hospitalization, you can recover pretty quickly from a stroke now.
AnotherMother4Peace
(5,125 posts)
ryan_cats
(2,061 posts)I'm sorry to hear this, it happened to my mom too.
Do you know what kind of stroke it was, a bleeding one (aneurysm) or a clot one? My mom had the aneurism when she was already in the hospital but my family thinks she received bad care so she was in a coma for a month.
Look at it this way, your mom is conscious, that is a very good sign. A friend's dad had a massive stroke, a month later, you would never know it had happened. I'm not trying to give you false hope but I did a lot of research on strokes when it happened to my mom and your mom sounds like she had the best type of stroke (blood clot) and is already conscious.
If they give her blood thinners, it most likely will be heparin or coumadin. If it's coumaden, demand that the doctors have her blood tested every couple of weeks because if the dose is wrong, it builds up and will cause bleeding. The doctors eventually thought my mom was on the correct dose so they didn't test her for months and she ended up in the hospital because of bleeding.
Good luck to your mom and to you and your family as well.
roguevalley
(40,656 posts)The brain never gives up. Tell her I love her. I love you too. Been there. Pm me if you need to. I will help you where I can honey.
ljm2002
(10,751 posts)...a few years ago. He was alone at the time except for his dog who stayed with him while he crawled downstairs to a phone, which took over a day for him to get to it. Ultimately he did lose most use of the right side of his body and must use a wheelchair or sometimes a walker. He could barely talk when it first happened, and he was nearly impossible to understand, but his speech kept improving over the first year. The good news is his mind has remained sharp with no loss of memory or reasoning ability, which is a miracle of sorts given how long it was before he got help. Now his speech is easy to understand, although not as good as it was before the stroke. His recovery really has been phenomenal given the circumstances.
I say all of this to let you know that even in the worst-case scenario, which his definitely was, there can be a great amount of recovery. In your mother's case, given that she got to the hospital within 30 minutes, it is quite possible that her recovery will be faster and more complete.
Hope and prayers for your mom's full recovery!
drlit
(41 posts)Two years ago right about now. My mom was 84 and one day driving and going to lunch with her friends and playing golf and generally being her dear ol' pain in the butt self. She wasn't even close to losing any capabilities, quite a snappy woman.
But...in the snap of a finger, her life completely changed.
You are in for a ride, that's for sure.
Hang on, ask for support, keep track of everything (get a notebook for the medical stuff AND get a journal for your mental health).
You are "lucky" that your mom has a husband, I suppose. We lost my dad in 1989 and I think he would have been such a rock, although that's what everyone has always called my mom... the rock of Gibraltar.
My mom and I have always had "issues," and I love my mom, and I've lived 3000 miles away for 11 years. So that's been hard. I have 3 sisters and a brother who live in her community (and one brother who lives a bit farther away). My siblings really stepped up and had to make some very hard choices. I can never thank them enough and I hope I do that often.
Mom has changed. She lost the use of her left hand and her left leg is very weak, so she can't use a walker. She couldn't go back to her own house where she lived alone. None of us had the kind of homes or lives that would allow for her to live or be cared for by us. So, she needed to find a place. And we were very picky (or shall I say my siblings were) about what we envisioned for her care.
We found the perfect place! It's a beautiful residential home for about 8-10 ladies -- bright, open, a ranch style house not too far from one of my sisters. It's run by young people -- two nurses -- and staffed 24/7 with really nice help. It's like a family for her. They don't just sit around in wheelchairs in front of the t.v. but also have activities and field trips and even play Wi (bowling) and do wheel chair exercises.
I have to say the best change is my mom's attitude about almost everything. All my life she was mean and sarcastic and that was one thing I disliked about her. Maybe because I am the oldest and my parents had six children so by the time I was old enough to take something to heart, she was besieged by a lot of stress raising the kids -- I don't know. But she also drank and wasn't a "drunk" but definitely was an alcoholic (runs in her family). My siblings don't like to recognize that, but it's quite clear.
Well, she had to stop drinking. I mean... instantaneously. No alcohol at the residential home. And even my siblings say, "Mom's so nice now." Surprise.
And she is. She had some trouble talking and for awhile there we were thinking she was losing it -- kept "seeing" her brothers who had recently died. But I thought -- so what if she sees them? who's to say they aren't really there?
But she's come into her own and worked hard and seems strong right now. We have some great conversations. I've done some creative things for her -- made a "Memory Quilt" -- I took all the old studio portraits of us as kids, scanned them, and copied them to fabric which I made into a quilt. She loves that quilt! And I've also scanned all our old Christmas pictures and made a book for her.
For the FIRST TIME in our lives, we saw our mother cry last Christmas when I gave her that book. Everyone was astounded and did not know what to do. But it was a good thing.
Meanwhile, we got her an iPad. We all send her pictures of our lives and kids and even our gardens. She can play blackjack and keep up email with friends.
Now she signs her email with this: YOLO
She told me it stands for: YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE
Yes, it's been a roller coaster. But somehow it's given us all time to love each other more and more.
Hang in there.
If you need anything -- even a shoulder -- send me note!
arthritisR_US
(7,810 posts) 
applegrove
(132,217 posts)
jwirr
(39,215 posts)still understands you. Encourage her as much as you can without promising that all will be well. Sorry to hear this.
Daphne08
(3,058 posts)My heart goes out to your mom, you and your family.
Bless you all.
Blue_In_AK
(46,436 posts)This happened to my mother, too, in 1999. It's terribly frustrating for stroke victims when they can't communicate. In my mom's case, she just gave up and willed herself to have a fatal heart attack a couple months later. I hope that your mom recovers.
Liberal_in_LA
(44,397 posts) Laura PourMeADrink
(42,770 posts)nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)One thing to give you hope and mom as well, women have more speech areas than men. Women have two, men have one. SO women tend to recover better.
Hugs, will be a hard one ahed,
Whovian
(2,866 posts)during a private session with her speech therapist who immediately came out into the hospital hall and asked "Anyone here named..." Ten minutes later she yelled for my sister. I'm feeling hopeful but cautious.
Again, thank you all for your good wishes, thoughts and sharing of your own personal experiences around what for me is a unique experience. You have all helped me in dealing with this.
luvspeas
(1,883 posts)Thanks for the update. I saw your post this morning and it was the first thing I thought of when checking DU this evening. For right now, it's hour by hour, then it becomes day by day, then in a few weeks things start to settle a bit. From my experience, the first few day are when the most progress will be made. Then it will plateau and you will know what you will have to deal with (i.e. nursing care, therapy, etc). But please know that your mom is there. She's fully there-she has not left you. I can say this with great certainty. Hang on.
Siwsan
(27,834 posts)I suspect a lot of us can fully empathize with what you are going through, right now.
RebelOne
(30,947 posts)Fortunately, she went to the doctor when she had the symptoms. She is doing fine now with medication. I hope your mom will recover soon.
patrice
(47,992 posts)
Vehl
(1,915 posts)My thoughts are with you and your family. hang in there, I'm sure things will work out ok
ProSense
(116,464 posts)Sending prayers and positive thoughts her way.
Stay strong.
47of74
(18,470 posts)I hope she gets well soon.
Auntie Bush
(17,528 posts)
proud patriot
(102,514 posts) ryan_cats
(2,061 posts)Whovian, any improvement since Thursday? I don't want to be nosy, I'd just like to hear some good news.
Either way, I'll keep up my prayers for your mom and your family.
For rehab, we bought my mom one of those things 2nd graders use that use a magnet to draw and it's easy to erase. 1) It allows her to communicate, 2) It helps the brain. The brain is a magnificent organ. It will bypass damaged areas and mental exercises help this process according to my mom's neurosurgeon (who was a kick *ss Doctor although we thought the rest were hacks). Brain exercises and physical exercises all help. Up thread, someone mentioned Aphasia. I was told by the Neurologist that it causes problems in that the brain know what it wants to say but there's a disconnect between the brain thought processes and the speech center. I'm only going by memory but you should look it up. There's a lot you and your family can do to help her recover.
Music is also supposed to help.
Good luck to your mom and family!!!!!
Whovian
(2,866 posts)and her communications have decreased. I worry for my Father as much as I do her at the moment. I can't say what I fear most. Thank you for your kind wishes.