My dad is near death with COVID. He is on oxygen & morphine

[Laura PourMeADrink]

Last edited Mon May 11, 2020, 04:39 PM - Edit history (1)

And the priest has been there. He has dementia but physically well and then went to hospital for a back problem on May 1st, he tested negative and on May 2, he was sent to a CT nursing home. He tested positive yesterday May 10 and they said death was now imminent.

I am 1500 miles away. CT has a 14 day self quarantine policy. Trying to figure out how to get up there.

My dad is a WW2 vet - South Pacific. He raised us 4 kids. My 94 yo mom has taken care of him but he fell and she couldn't lift him. Tremendous guilt like we all sent him into danger to his death.

Please takeaway, as Democrats, please, that these people in nursing homes are being literally exterminated in a different way. If you ever have any say so to help stop the slaughter by any means...asking for military medical help, state and local funding, an emergency revamp of facilities ASAP, PLEASE keep it in mind.

These great people don't deserve this horrible end. And when you have to hear your own mother cry, a good wife of 72 years, because she can't be there to hold his hand, you will never experience anything more heartbreaking in your entire life.

On edit: thank you so much. There are so many kind and loving people here. If you find yourself in a situation like ours, and you are lucky enough to be able to somehow afford it, store the dining room table, or bed and rent a hospital bed. Medicare may cover a visiting nurse. Don't do what we did. See if there's anyway they can stay home for a while. ❤️ to all

[mr_lebowski]

1. So sorry to hear this Laura!

That's absolutely heartbreaking.



and



for your dad and whole family.

[malaise]

2. This is too sad

:Thinking of you in this time of sadness

What is happening to senior citizens, vets and non-vets is nothing short of genocide

[Haggis for Breakfast]

103. What is happening to seniors and us vets is this --

policy makers (Congress) and healthcare providers (CEOs that is) accepted the preventable pain and suffering of elder people as being in their best FINANCIAL interest. It is just that simple.

When that micro-moron in TX (Patrick) said that the elderly should sacrifice themselves on the Alter of the Bottom Line, we looked at each other, shocked, that republicans had finally SAID OUT LOUD exactly what we all KNEW they've been thinking for a long time.

Laura, we are so sad that this is happening to your dad. Sending him - and you and your MUM - healing thoughts of love.

[sinkingfeeling]

3. I'm so terribly sorry for you and your family.

[pnwest]

4. I'm so sorry, just heartbreaking.

[LuckyCharms]

5. I'm so very sorry.

And your bolded paragraph made me shiver.

[Mike 03]

6. Absolutely heartbreaking

I'm so sorry.

You and your parents don't deserve this. It's obscene.

[bluestarone]

7. So So sorry!

I truly feel your pain!

[Ellipsis]

8. I'm sorry.

[nancy1942]

9. All my sympathy.

Heartbreaking.

[The Blue Flower]

10. This is heartbreaking

I'm so sorry for what your family is going through.

[LeftInTX]

11. I'm so sorry Laura PourMeADrink

[nolabear]

12. Oh honey. This is all so hard to bear. I'm sorry.

I wish it was different, that we all weren’t so helpless. Love to you all.

[2golddogs]

13. I'm very sorry

Your family has to go through this. It’s heartbreaking and infuriating. Virtual {{hugs}} from an internet stranger.

[Solly Mack]

14. I'm so sorry, L PMAD.

[NoRoadUntravelled]

15. I am deeply sorry for your family's pain.

My heart is with all of you during this heartbreaking time.

[shenmue]

16. I am sorry

[Atticus]

17. I can say nothing other than that my heart aches for you as I know the pain you are suffering.

Beyond that, I am at a loss for words. Hang on.

[LakeArenal]

18. Oh geez. I'm so sorry.

Wondered what you are up to.

Sending my best Karma and Vibes.

❣️😘😍🇺🇸❤️🙏🏻🤞🏼🥰🐥

[peacebuzzard]

19. Heartbreaking, omg, I am sorry

Your hero dad, oh no.
I am so sorry....

[DonaldsRump]

20. I am so sad to hear this

If there is any way we can help you through this, please let us know.

[Ohiogal]

21. I am so sorry

Our seniors deserve much better than this. I will be praying for strength for all of you to get through this.

And a curse on our government that treats its Seniors and Veterans as if they are expendable.

[PufPuf23]

22. Peace be with you and your family.

Sad your family and others have to suffer.

[kimbutgar]

23. So true

One of my jobs before this virus got going was packing up and moving seniors to assisted living places. I remember thinking while I was doing my last job in February how tightly packed the places were and petri dishes for viruses.

When my Mother was still alive I looked at a few senior living places and decided to hire a live in caretaker instead of moving her. She lived in her home for 8 years before she passed. And I ended spending less of her money than moving her into one of those places. I was fortunate to find good caregivers and ironically my Mother told me before she got worst with her dementia to contact this caregiver she met at her senior center who was a caregiver to another lady. She ended up referring great caregivers to me.

I hope things get better with your Dad but if it doesn’t just remember he loves you and this is out of your control.

[BComplex]

24. OMG Laura! I'm so sorry to hear this.

I'm sending you a big (((((((( HUG ))))))))

Please share my deepest sympathies with your mom, and the rest of your family. Such a horribly sad situation.

[dlk]

25. I'm very sorry for what has befallen your family

[PA Democrat]

26. Oh Laura, I am so sorry for your pain.

[KentuckyWoman]

27. ..

I am so sorry for your loss.

[Different Drummer]

28. Heartbreaking to hear! I am so sorry!

[DesertRat]

29. I am so sorry

That's just awful

[cate94]

30. I am so very sorry.

Horrible and heartbreaking.

[Harker]

31. May your grief give way to loving memories.

He's a good man to be in the hearts of so many others.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

32. You are not at fault. Be at peace. You did & are doing what you can. The rest is out of your hands.

We have to accept what we can't control.

I'm sorry you have to bear such sadness at this time.

[SunSeeker]

33. I'm so sorry.

[catbyte]

34. Oh, I'm so very sorry!

The injustice of all of this is just overwhelming. Again, I'm so, so sorry. My dad was a WWII vet in the South Pacific, too. Your dad deserves so much better than this.

[Jarqui]

35. I'm so sorry you are going through what you are

I agree with you that some are turning their backs on those in nursing homes. And we should do anything we reasonably can to protect them.

I blame a bunch of this on Trump and the GOP who seem even more heartless. I wonder if the 1% feel we can be a more efficient society by shedding ourselves of these lives who they profited from - it's just an economics thing for them.

Shine bright media lights on them - to show them for what they are. That will discourage some of their callous behavior.
And remember that next November. Getting Trump out is not enough. Those who enabled him have to go too.

[spanone]

36. So sad not to be able to be there.....

[Alex4Martinez]

37. .

no words can do justice but my heart is with you at this difficult time and I want to kick for visibility.

Remember the goodness, just the goodness, and set aside any guilt whatsoever.

Be there for your family members, this will make him smile.

Bless his soul.

[Ms. Toad]

38. If you aren't able to get there -

See if they can set your dad up with a phone. I've heard a number of stories of keeping a 24/7 phone connection with family members who can't be physically present - siblings telling stories about what they recall from growing up, reading stories, singing songs, praying.

Hope you can work something out. Fortunately, my parents are physically safe right now - but they are in segregated communities and shut off from friends for whom my healthier parents are lifelines.

[Warpy]

39. I'm so sorry this is happening

I was 2000 miles away when my dad had an MI and was found on the floor at his home and it was Xmas and I couldn't get on a flight for days.

Likely your mom was wise enough to tell them no heroics, meaning not forcing a tube down his trachea and forcing oxygen into his deteriorated lungs. That would make him miserable and would most likely not work.

They are keeping him as comfortable as possible, as morphine relieves anxiety as well as pain.

As for the nursing homes, they're usually full to the brim and have nowhere to put infected patients but the hospital. They check staff frequently and send anyone with an elevated temperature home, but as we all know, the tests are simply not available and they can't do them daily and if they did, someone who was negative at the start of a shift could easily be positive by the end of it. That's how this thing works.

No one is at fault for this. It's a virus, it wants to replicate and move on. Gay men didn't bring AIDS on themselves and a transfer to a nursing home didn't kill your dad, a virus might. There is no justice in any of this.

[Hugin]

40. I'm so sorry, L PMAD.

So so sorry.

Every single person lost diminishes us so.

Please, you take care of yourself and trust I'm doing all that I can.

Peace.

[crickets]

41. I am so, so sorry.

[appalachiablue]

42. Very sorry for your family's pain and loss now.

The desire to 'sacrifice the weak' goes back through history. But the casting off of the weak and vulnerable, 'useless eaters' resurfaced during the early 20th c. eugenics era, the Nazi T-4 period of the late 1930s and 1940s and through ideologies like Libertarianism boosted by Ayn Rand.

> This recent NY Magazine article describes the heartless changes at nursing homes. Since the 1980s during Reagan, these facilities began transforming into strictly for- profit financial opportunities with little regulation, oversight or regard for residents sorry to say.

The US is not known for respecting & protecting elders like in Italy & some Asian countries. We have a youth and consumer energy driven society, so it's said.

Read More,

https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2020/04/coronavirus-next-pandemic-mike-davis-avian-flu-covid.html

[appleannie1]

43. My heart aches for you. That is not the way we want to let our loved ones pass on.

[panader0]

44. Damn. That's a rough thing to bear. I'm sorry for your situation.

[Fla Dem]

45. I wish you and so many others were not going through this agony with their elderly parents.

I cannot imagine being in your situation. Peace to you and your father.

[pandr32]

46. I am so sorry

This is an absolute horror. I wish there was something any of us could do at this point to help our vulnerable. Every day when I get up and read the news I am aghast at what is happening around our country. This push to "reopen our economy" and the callousness about our aged is stunningly unreasonable. It is a nightmare.
My heart goes out to you.

[orwell]

47. I don't know you...

...but I am very sorry for the grief you and your family are going through.

These aren't just statistics, they are people's lives. Your heroic father deserves better than this.

Nobody should have to die alone.

Please don't feel guilty. You were doing the best you could with the information you had.

In the end all we have is each other....

[Tanuki]

48. Oh, how sad and distressing for you and your parents. I wish there was

something tangible I could do to help. You, your dad, and your mom all deserve so much better than this. Please do not put guilt upon yourself. I am sure it seemed at the time that the nursing home could provide physical and medical care for him that your mother could not give him at home due to her own advanced age. I am so sorry that the trust you had was betrayed. Do any of your siblings or other close relatives live near your parents? I can only imagine how painful this situation is for you. Please know that your friends here are holding you, your mother, and especially your dear father in our hearts.

[diva77]

49. so very very sorry

[Rorey]

50. This is just shameful

My heart breaks for all of you, especially your mom. She shouldn't have to have those feelings.

[scarletwoman]

51. I can't think of any words that would be truly helpful. All I can offer is my deepest sympathy and

heartfelt wishes for peace and strength for you and your family.

[flamingdem]

52. Hugs Laura

Holding you in my thoughts.

[appleannie1]

53. The National Guard has been called into a nursing home in our area.

There are as many cases with the staff as there are with the residents. They are totally overwhelmed.

And please do not feel guilty that you are not there. Even if you were, they would not let you near him.

[democrank]

54. My heart goes out to you and your family

Sending a hug~

[Submariner]

55. My sympathy, so sorry

[Heartstrings]

56. So, so sorry....

Healing vibes and virtual hugs sent to you and your family....

[mcar]

57. Oh Laura, I'm so very sorry

[kentuck]

58. Sorry to hear about your Dad, Laura.

It is heart-breaking.

[Sympthsical]

59. I'm so sorry to hear this

I lost a good friend early on to this. No part of this is easy. All I have are thoughts and prayers for you. But you have them.

[mountain grammy]

60. I'm so sorry to read this..

What an awful situation. I can't even imagine. My friend's mother is 99 and in a nursing home in CO.. no cases in her home. It's incredible. My heart is breaking for your parents and you..

[OldManTarHeel]

61. Laura . . I am terribly sorry that you find yourself in this most difficult situation.

Prayers uplifted for your family. God Bless

[Totally Tunsie]

62. The arms of your DU family are around you and your mom.

I know you have some difficult days ahead, and hope your good memories of your dad can help to carry you through.

Peace and comfort to your family.

[niyad]

63. So very sorry, Laura. If there is anything we can do to help, we are here.

[Tumbulu]

64. I am so so so sorry- sending all of you

my love and hopes that comfort will come.

[hlthe2b]

65. I am so very sorry, Laura. I too am wondering if I can get cross country if need be...

for a family member.

I'll be thinking of you and hope to hell DUers and other sane Americans continue to push back. We are being allowed to suffer and even die at the expense of their politics.


I will be thinking of you and your heroic father.

[PCIntern]

66. So very very sorry for the plight of the man and the family.

😩

[Roc2020]

67. my sincere condolences.

[superpatriotman]

68. Heart is breaking for your family

And all who are living and dying from this plague.

Please take comfort that it will end eventually and your DU friends will be here for you.

[MelissaB]

69. I'm so sorry.

This is horrible.

[seta1950]

70. I'm sorry

The way these nursing home cases are being treated is outrageous absolutely awful.

[ananda]

71. My dad was a carrier pilot in the S Pacific in WWII.

He flew off the St Lo and got the Distinguised Flying
Cross, so you can imagine the beauty of his gravesite
ceremony that the Navy performed for him.

He died in 2015. He would never have survived Covid either.

However, he and his 2nd wife were Fox Noozers and very
racist.

I still loved him dearly, but I hated his bigotry. My mother
used to keep him in line, but after he died he was allowed
to regress by that 2nd wife. Oh well.

He was able to have a nice ending with all his kids around
in the hospice room.

I'm so sorry that other elders today do not get that same
privilege. It makes me sick, really, that seniors and vets
are so mistreated by Reeps these days.

[helpisontheway]

72. I'm so sorry! 🙏🏽 Nt

[JDC]

73. I'm sorry. Best wishes.

[democrattotheend]

74. I'm so sorry

I've been afraid for a while that COVID could wipe out what's left of the Greatest Generation, people like your dad. I'm so sorry you're in this situation and I'm holding out hope that somehow he recovers.

[bdamomma]

75. oh my

that is heartbreaking. We are here for support if you need us.

This vile regime is committing genocide/extermination.

[CaptainTruth]

76. I'm so sorry...

[iluvtennis]

77. My heart goes out to you Laura. And you're right, you dad didn't deserve this type of end. 🙏

[Hortensis]

78. I'm so sorry, Laura. Your political message is what I've

been suspecting. There are reasons Republican experts on disease control in congress refused to try to contain this and are still at it, and I don't for a minute believe they're mere incompetence. Though they may genuinely reflect the extremism that's taken their leadership over.

I'm glad your mother has you.

[Ilsa]

79. He and all the others deserve so much better than this.

I'm so sorry you are so far away, but glad they are helping to make him more comfortable.

I'm going to send you a pm.

[DarthDem]

80. Oh, I Am So Very Sorry

My fondest and best wishes to your dad and your entire family. Sounds like a great man.

[cayugafalls]

81. Oh my, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you.

I hope you find some way to be there. Again, I am so sorry.

You and your family will be in my prayers.

[yonder]

82. Gosh, I'm sorry. For yourself, family, friends and of course your dad.

These times are leaving many heartbroken and at a loss.

[marble falls]

83. Laura, I am so very saddened ot hear that. You and dad and family are in my thoughts.

[gademocrat7]

84. So very sorry, Laura PourMeADrink

This is a tragedy. Holding you and your family close in prayer. We are with you.

[happy feet]

85. I'm so sorry.

[aikoaiko]

86. Please don't feel guilty. You did the best you could.

I have, and many of us have, elderly parents in nursing homes because they can provide care better than we can.

[JudyM]

87. Oh no, so sorry to hear this, Laura.

You were all trying to do the best for him. The system and this virus suck so bad. Terrible situation for your family, so sorry. Wishing you all whatever possible comfort through this.

[Jim__]

88. Sorry to hear this.

[Karadeniz]

89. Heartwrenching! Not to be mean, but I've seen three relatives with dementia pass away and

While it's painful to see them like that, even at the time I was glad they didn't comprehend what was happening. Thank goodness for morphine! Your dad will not be in pain thanks to that. If you fly for a funeral, try to find an N90-95 mask and I'd wear surgical gloves. Sorry to be so practical. That's me all over! Very, very sorry for the loss. ❤

[Solomon]

90. ...

[bucolic_frolic]

91. So sorry to hear

Our U.S.A. world is so cooked under Trump. We feel your pain, as we are feeling a lot of pain here on DU.

[StarfishSaver]

92. I'm so sorry

[Doodley]

93. Don't blame yourself. We were in the same situation and my mother-n-law had to go into a facility.

They had a covid outbreak and she got pneumonia. I told my wife not to blame herself. She didn't create covid and we had no other options. Mother-in-law came out of it and is back home. It shouldn't be this way. It's avoidable at a Federal level with more testing and more funding, but Trump won't even set an example by wearing a mask. My prayers are with you and your father and your family.

[mfcorey1]

94. My sympathy!

[Butterflylady]

95. I'm so sorry,

No one should have to thru what your dad and your family are going thru.

[smirkymonkey]

96. I am so sorry for you and your parents, Laura. Reading your post was just heartbreaking and

I can't imagine how hard this must be on all of you. Please know that you are in our thoughts and reach out as you need us.

[lunatica]

97. This is heartbreaking.

I’m offering you and your dear mom virtual hugs! I wish this had never happened. The morphine is helping him. His passing will be a relief from the the pain. Someone is there with him, holding his hand for you.

[3auld6phart]

98. Heartbreaking.

Something like this should never happen to anybody,most especially some who has fought for your Nation. My thoughts and tears go out to you and yours.Laura,Stay strong.

[Niagara]

99. I'm so sorry, Laura

You're correct in calling this a slaughter, because this exactly what is it.




Sending strength and hugs to you and your family.

[DENVERPOPS]

100. My heart goes out to you Laura

and the thousands that will most certainly lie ahead.........

[dflprincess]

101. I am so sorry

My late father was also a Pacific vet and I hate to see another of his contemporaries leave us.

My heart breaks for what you and your family are dealing with. It is so wrong.

[SergeStorms]

102. Hang in the there.

This is an extraordinarily sad time for many of us. Your Dad has lived an amazing life, and it's a crying shame our government doesn't recognize that and do more to protect seniors in assisted living homes. Good luck to you and your family. Keep us informed.

[Silver Gaia]

104. I am so very sorry.

Losing a parent is devastating in and of itself, but this... no words.

May peace and comfort find you...

[Ninga]

105. So sorry for you having to bear such grief and sadness. Bless you.

[Evolve Dammit]

106. I am so sorry for all of you. Your post should be on every air wave. This is America right now.

[Permanut]

107. You're carrying a heavy load..

Wish there was a way for us to lift it a little. Thanks for sharing your challenge, and that of your parents. There are many in the same situation, as you say, in nursing homes and assisted care facilities; you are helping them by getting the word out. Thank you.

[volstork]

108. Sending love and support.

So sorry that this is happening to you and your family.

[MFM008]

109. So sorry💜

🙏🙏🙏

[boston bean]

110. I kept my mom home knowing she was going to die. She had lung cancer.

She died April 11th in the middle of all this craziness. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do and see. Yet she was with family.

I am traumatized with the images, yet I know the doubts about her last moments and without loving family would be a worse cross to bear.

My best to you and your family. Sincere condolences to you all.

[monmouth4]

111. So very sorry for you and your family. Prayers. n/t

[erronis]

112. I found your plea to "as Democrats" very telling. No one expects the (r)epuglicons

to try to get us back into recovery.

Laura - my hopes and best wishes for you and your family. This is not how his life should end.

[barbtries]

113. I am so sorry

you are having to live this nightmare. And your mother!

[Mickju]

114. I'm so sorry.

This is absolutely heartbreaking. No family should have to go through this.

[Soph0571]

115. I am so sorry to hear this

I hope you figure a way to get there.

[sagetea]

116. Dang it!!

Therapy is teaching me to cry...and for the last few hours, I have been reluctant to read this post. Because, I knew I would cry.

I am so sorry, the fear and anger and hurt you must be feeling is overwhelming. Your father, your father, your father....dammit!

Sending you a virtual cloak to wrap around your shoulders, my voice keens with yours.


Ho`

sage

[SheltieLover]

117. So sorry to hear this!

Comforting vibes on the way to you, dad & family.

[mercuryblues]

118. My heart goes out to you

[littlemissmartypants]

119. So sorry. ❤ nt

[TexasTowelie]

120. I'm sorry that this is happening to your father.

You have my sincerest sympathy.

[flying_wahini]

121. How terrible for you all. So heartbreaking.

Big hug to you at this painful time.

[Miigwech]

122. What can anyone say to ease your trauma ...

Terrible. Hope you and yours can find some comfort over time and know that we care.

[warmfeet]

123. I am sincerely sorry to hear that.

[liberal N proud]

124. So sorry you and your family are suffering

Just makes my rage that much stronger

[seaglass]

125. So sorry you and your family are going through this.

[tishaLA]

126. Terribly sorry to hear about your father

I'm sending positive thoughts to both of you.

[pazzyanne]

127. Virtual hugs and prayers heading your way.

[TNNurse]

128. I too, am very sorry.

Please help your mother understand that I suspect he would not have wanted her to get hurt herself trying to care for him. There was no good option for any of you. These are such awful times and no one was prepared to handle all the things that have occurred. We should have been prepared for some of it, but that was stolen from us.

[cilla4progress]

129. Hugs. So sorry, Laura

[denbot]

130. I fear all too many of us will go through what your family is suffering now.

I wish there was someway we could offer you and your’s anything more than pixelated solace, other than taking your advice to heart.

Peace to you and all those you love.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

131. So sad for you having to go through this.

So very sorry 🙏🏾💔

[calimary]

132. Dear LPMAD - Hundreds of Hugs (Virtual).

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

I can't imagine the heavy burden on your heart, and at a time when there's just all-around suffering everywhere. So you have to confront this both objectively AND subjectively.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

This virus is uncommonly cruel. As you said, your mom suffers through this without even being able simply to be there to sit with him and hold his hand! I can hardly even wrap my brain around that. She can't even help "see him to the door." I can't even imagine the heartbreak - it's making me get teary-eyed as I try to write this.

This is not just another "old person who was gonna die anyway." NOT ONE of these people deserves to be so cavalierly and hard-heartedly dismissed, and diminished, like that. These are the beloveds. The loved ones. Who would still otherwise be doing okay and living their lives, but for the virus. I type those numbers into "The Daily Dread" multiple times a day, and the death figures globally and nationally keep growing. And for every digit numbering the dead, there's a anguish. A broken heart. Or tears. Or all three.

I'm so sorry you're having to going through this. You won't mourn alone - at least physically speaking. DU sat and kept a vigil with me after my mom died, years ago, and that really really helped. And I've never forgotten that. Now it's here for you.

[Texin]

133. So very sorry for you and your mother. And the tragedy of not being close is cruel.

Be careful. Do you have to fly? The planes are packed as tight as tight as sardines in a can right now because there are so few flights. If there's any way you could drive that would be far safer. But I know time is of the essence.

[SammyWinstonJack]

134. I'm so sorry.

[kairos12]

135. Peace and strength to you and family Laura.

[demtenjeep]

136. I am so very sorry

you are in my thoughts and prayers.

[femmedem]

137. Oh, I'm so, so sorry.

It is such an awful time: so many people dying and grieving alone.

My mother is in hospice now with advanced dementia, after having recently been hospitalized with pneumonia, and no one is allowed to visit. I understand.

[hamsterjill]

138. I am so very sorry for your situation

I’m sorry. Such a hollow sentence, but all I’ve got right now. I send my prayers for strength for you and comfort and peace for your dad and your mom. The situation you describe is a horrible thing.

As to your last point - - - I don’t understand the sudden “expendable” attitude that has all of a sudden shown up in America as to the elderly. It’s shameful. It’s like age is something we are supposed to now be ashamed of rather than be proud of. I refuse to buy in to that. All people deserve dignity, respect and love. Regardless of the number of years, a passing still leaves an empty chair at the dinner table.

I would give you a long hug if that were possible.

[ecstatic]

139. So sorry to hear this awful news.

I wish you and your family well.

[cally]

140. I am so sorry

I do think that your Dad knows and trusts the love his wife and you have shown over the years. The distance at the final hours is tragic but the long term love and care is what will overcome the current pain. Many virtual hugs and love

[Blue_playwright]

141. Sending love.

[TalenaGor]

142. (hugs) my moms in a nursing home too :(

shes 77 - been in there a few years - the place is doing a really good job keeping it contained to one wing (8 cases)

but still - im really scared for her....

[leighbythesea2]

143. I am so sorry.

There are not adequate words. Am thinking of you. & your mom.

I do appreciate your post so much. My mom has dementia and lives with me. I think this advice reinforces what ive been feeling. I know i dont have to make any decisions, but she did fall last summer and iis not great on stairs. (I live in a ranch, good). Your advice is very helpful.

[tblue37]

144. K&R. I am so sorry you are going through this. My heart breaks for your mother. nt

[grantcart]

145. Best wishes to your family

[highplainsdem]

146. I'm so sorry, Laura. Prayers for him, and you and your mom, and all your family.

Please tell your mom NOT to feel guilty, that she did the best she could. If a loved one is falling and can't be picked up by a solitary caregiver, there usually is no option but a nursing home that can provide extra staff to help after a fall, and mechanical lifts. Your mom has been a hero to take care of him at home for as long as possible.

[yardwork]

147. I'm so very sorry.

My former mother-in-law died in a Florida nursing home last month, alone because visitors aren't allowed. She had symptoms of COVID but they refused to test her. Florida doesn't want to know.

My mother is in an assisted living facility around the corner from me, and I haven't seen her for two months. She's well, but if anything happens, nobody will be allowed to see her. I understand why, and I'm grateful that they're protecting her safety - but when will she ever be able to see anybody again?

My heart goes out to you. I'm very sorry.

[FakeNoose]

148. I'm sorry for your Dad

... and for you and your Mom. This is an awful time!

[StevieM]

149. I am so sorry, Laura.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

[pertello]

150. So sorry your family is going through this

I just wanted to add that in all states, the Dept of Social Services will pay a family member to be the elderly and/or disabled person’s caregiver.

[Meowmee]

151. 😿 I am so sorry

I hope you find a way to be with him to say goodbye.

No way my father is going in a nursing home, he falls a lot but we have been managing it each time. Most of the time he refuses to go to a doctor or the hospital until much later. I am getting over covid pneumonia and was isolating from my family but he thinks he has it too but he only had neurological symptoms thank goodness.

I see this as murder as well. Someone has to pay.

[Demovictory9]

152. ..

[EllieBC]

153. I am so sorry, Laura.

I’m keeping you and your family close in my heart. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

[Demonaut]

154. So sorry to hear, one of the Greatest Generation, your poor mom, I feel for you two.

[voteearlyvoteoften]

155. I'm so sorry

Your Mom will need you now. xoxoxoxo
My Mom is 94. Dad 95 and South Pacific vet too.
They are so vulnerable. Your DU fam is here for you!

[BigmanPigman]

156. I am so sad and frustrated for your and your

parents' situations. This is genocide of our seniors.

[Hermit-The-Prog]

157. Don't take guilt onto yourself -- you didn't create this situation.

I can't fathom your grief, only wish for you and yours to heal.

None of you created the situation you had to deal with, just as he didn't create the war he had to fight. I'm sure he wouldn't want you taking that on yourselves.

[MerryBlooms]

158. I'm so sorry. The absolute horror going on in our nursing homes, assisted care, long

term facilities and VA hospitals is criminal. My heart hurts for your dad and mom, you and your family, their friends. I just don't even know what else to say. I fear every day for my friend/client in assisted care, and all I can do is pray and cry. Sending you love and strength.

[EndlessWire]

159. You didn't do anything wrong.

It is extremely difficult to keep a total care patient at home. The whole family has to pitch in, and even then it can be next to impossible to provide all the nursing care that is necessary. It isn't as easy as getting a person up in a chair for the day.

What a difficult decision. This is NOT your fault. And, I am willing to bet that your Dad wouldn't want to have his loved ones come down infected, too. Your job now is to protect your mother.

Take care. G-d is watching over all of you. You belong to Him/Her. I am so sorry for this difficult time in your life.

[MustLoveBeagles]

160. I'm sorry

Please don't blame yourself. I can't imagine the pain you're going through.

[spiderpig]

161. Laura, like everybody else my heart is breaking for you

I just finished an hour on phone with my sister-in-law. My FIL enlisted in the Marine Corps the day after Pearl Harbor. My MIL was an RN who worked in pediatric oncology for decades. These were people who guided us through our lives. We took care of them until the end.

This extermination of the elderly is beyond belief.

[Enoki33]

162. So very sorry.

[58Sunliner]

163. I'm so sorry for you and your family.

I know your dad deserves to be surrounded by love and caring family.

[herding cats]

164. My heart breaks for what you're enduring.

I'm so deeply sorry, I wish you what peace you can find tonight.

This is literally my mortal fear with my mother on the west coast. You have my deepest empathy with you tonight, and onward.

[mzmolly]

165. I'm so very

sorry. I can't imagine your pain.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

[riversedge]

166. May you and your family find peace.

[R B Garr]

167. Sorry to hear this.

[Demsrule86]

168. So sorry Laura...that is terrible.

[onecaliberal]

169. 25,000 of the dead are from nursing homes.

I’m so very sorry. 💔

[sheshe2]

170. I am so very sorry, Laura.

Peace to you and yours.

[Danmel]

171. My heart aches for you and your family

Sending hugs from New York

[Buckeye_Democrat]

172. So sorry!

[Peacetrain]

173. I am so so sorry

[chia]

174. Holding you and your family in my heart tonight

I am so very sorry.

[abbeyco]

175. All of my sympathies for you

Sending love & light your way - I am so sorry you and your Dad are facing this. Please take good care of yourself.

[BusyBeingBest]

176. I wish you, your dad and your family peace and comfort and strength.

Prayers for all of you.

[tosh]

177. I am so sorry

that you and your dad are in this nightmare situation.

[jeffreyi]

178. Hearts to you all.

[ucrdem]

179. So, so sorry to hear this.

We are with you

[bobGandolf]

180. My heart goes out to you and your family.

I understand your feelings of guilt but remember, you did what any other loving family would do under your circumstances. Please, remember you did nothing wrong. Grieve, but no guilt. remember and share the many happy memories.

[ooky]

181. My dad was a South Pacific vet. They could have known

each other. Lost him in 1984.

I'm sorry for the terrible pain you are feeling.

[DFW]

182. Just saw this. Wish there was something I could do. What a tragedy!

Because the situation in nursing homes is the same everywhere, this is the reason my wife won't insist on her mother going into one. They are hotbeds for Corona infection here in Germany as well. Her mom is 92 and nearly blind, but mentally all there, and would die of depression if she were in a nursing home and the virus didn't get her first. Though her husband was a vet and lost a leg in WWII, her widow's benefits are minimal.

Is IS a form of slow extermination, and the way our societies are set up, there's nothing we mortals can do about it is suffer, and then suffer again seeing our parents/relatives suffer from afar.

[Raine]

183. I'm so sorry 💔

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers ❤ also sending you lots of love 💞 and hugs

[scrabblequeen40]

184. So sorry for your loss. I hope Trump pays for this tragedy.

eom

[yuiyoshida]

185. Gomen nasai...

彼らが病気であることを非常に残念に思う、彼らが良くなることを願っています！

[brer cat]

186. I'm so sorry.

[N_E_1 for Tennis]

187. Tears to you, Laura...

[Highway61]

188. So very sorry

You all did the best you could. Focus on the love. Bless you and your family

[Sunlei]

189. My heart goes out to you and your family.

No one deserves this horrible end of life and no family deserves this kind of heartbreak.

It was very kind of you to take the time to add the advice warnings. Your families story, your Dads story I wish would make front page news across the world. These facilities/medical 'care' must change for the better. Your posting saves lives. Strength and Peace!

[honest.abe]

190. OMG. That is so sad.

I hope somehow you are able to go there and/or your mother is able to be with him at the end.

Take care and God bless.

[roamer65]

191. God be with you all.

[deek]

192. We do the best we can

I hope your experience doesn't stir further guilty feelings. It normal and natural to feel like we haven't done enough for our children/parents.

Peace.

[Cetacea]

193. I'm very sorry

I don't know what to write...you are in my thoughts. Hang in there. You are needed.

[benld74]

194. Prayers sent to all