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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsRand Paul Says Secret to Social Distancing Is Making Everyone Despise You
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)Sharing helpful health tips with the American people, Senator Rand Paul said on Wednesday that the secret to social distancing is making everyone despise you.
People get all worried about whether other people are staying six feet away from them, Paul said. The trick is, if you act like a total jerkwad, people will stay much farther away from you than that.
Paul also questioned whether wearing a mask protects someone as well as saying incredibly asinine things does.
Airborne droplets can spread by people talking to each other, Paul said. If no one ever wants to talk to you, problem solved.
He urged places of business in his home state of Kentucky to reopen as soon as possible, a process that he volunteered to help safely facilitate. If you reopen your restaurant and it gets too crowded, I will walk through the door and immediately clear it out, he said.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/rand-paul-says-secret-to-social-distancing-is-making-everyone-despise-you
LakeArenal
(28,806 posts)Hes a jerk and most people hate him.
Maeve
(42,271 posts)And takes deadly aim...
Wounded Bear
(58,604 posts)UTUSN
(70,649 posts)hlthe2b
(102,138 posts)Gothmog
(144,939 posts)rurallib
(62,387 posts)He just beat the fuck out of Randy.