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Sun May 17, 2020, 03:17 PM

I was a coward yesterday

I had to go to the drugstore, a CVS which is inside a Target store. To enter the store, you had to be wearing a mask or its equivalent, which everyone was. I was walking to the pharmacy and passed a family, father, mother, maybe 10-year-old son, who had masks on, but they had pulled them down around their necks. I stared but did not say anything. In my defense, I didn't want to start anything in front of their kid, but on reflection, I should have pointed them out to a store staff member.

Does anyone have a suggestion for people like me who can talk a big battle here but are a little timid in real life? I realize the least I should have done is to rat them out, but I wanted to tell them that their masks were to protect me, not them (which is kind of why I'm guessing they weren't wearing theirs).

I had a friend who was great at this kind of thing: she would have asked them, politely, why their masks were down, and a civilized conversation would have ensued. I guess I always want to tear someone's head off, and I'm scared to do that.

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Arrow 31 replies Author Time Post
Reply I was a coward yesterday (Original post)
cyclonefence May 2020 OP
guillaumeb May 2020 #1
hlthe2b May 2020 #3
guillaumeb May 2020 #6
yonder May 2020 #18
niyad May 2020 #7
JI7 May 2020 #2
niyad May 2020 #4
jmg257 May 2020 #5
zeusdogmom May 2020 #8
secondwind May 2020 #9
chia May 2020 #19
greenjar_01 May 2020 #10
Shermann May 2020 #11
SWBTATTReg May 2020 #12
samnsara May 2020 #13
Pacifist Patriot May 2020 #14
LizBeth May 2020 #15
Tipperary May 2020 #26
dickthegrouch May 2020 #16
roamer65 May 2020 #17
Buckeye_Democrat May 2020 #20
Loki Liesmith May 2020 #21
oasis May 2020 #28
Tipperary May 2020 #31
LuckyCharms May 2020 #22
Baked Potato May 2020 #23
KT2000 May 2020 #24
applegrove May 2020 #25
Blue_true May 2020 #27
Pacifist Patriot May 2020 #29
ellie May 2020 #30

Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 03:18 PM

1. Allow the manager to handle it.

It is not your job to do so.

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Response to guillaumeb (Reply #1)

Sun May 17, 2020, 03:22 PM

3. Yes.. I agree with this... On the other hand...

I remember a big heavy tape measure my father (and my uncles) all had growing up. Push a button and it zipped out 6 or 8 feet. I so badly want one of those right now to use with people who refuse to keep their distance. Soooo badly.

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Response to hlthe2b (Reply #3)

Sun May 17, 2020, 03:24 PM

6. A 2x4 would work well for that. Use an 8 foot one so you can hold on to it.

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Response to guillaumeb (Reply #6)

Sun May 17, 2020, 04:09 PM

18. Or a 4x4 like Buford Pusser.

In case one's object gets a bit frisky.

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Response to hlthe2b (Reply #3)

Sun May 17, 2020, 03:24 PM

7. Check with your local Ace Hardware. My local one even delivers.

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 03:20 PM

2. The best would be to let someone who works there know

instead of confronting them yourself.

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 03:22 PM

4. Absolutely let management handle it. This is not about bravery or cowardice, just plain

common sense.

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 03:23 PM

5. Make an incredibly obvious loop around them while muttering

“Idiots” or “ dumbasses” or similar - even “woahhh” will do - they’ll get it.

Or make
Obvious room for them and wave them passed while
Shaking ur head. They’ll get that too.
This is the DU member formerly known as jmg257.

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 03:26 PM

8. I was, too

The assistant manager checking me out at GFS had on a mask but it appeared to be too small for his face and his mouth was basically uncovered. The mask also appeared to be wet - probably from sweat. I debated saying something but didn’t. Wearing a mask is a pain, necessary, but still a pain Ironically there was a stack on the counter of the nice black masks one sees everywhere. The rest of the staff I saw were properly masked. Might be a good while before I go back there. But they did have flour and yeast .....

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 03:28 PM

9. I would have steered away from this pack. If you had said anything, who knows what would have



happened, and how many droplets would have been hurled in your direction.

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Response to secondwind (Reply #9)

Sun May 17, 2020, 04:38 PM

19. While I don't at all disagree with you, what you suggest here is such an apt description of

what's happened the last three years... Sane people taking the civilized road while the pack of Trump, MAGAs and the corrupt GOP do whatever they want, knowing there's not much of anything or anyone who can stop them.

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 03:29 PM

10. "the least I should have done is to rat them out"

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 03:34 PM

11. It's as pointless as road rage

It won't fix a thing. Best to move on.

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 03:35 PM

12. I agree w/ G, that it's target management's job to address the issue. I think unfortunately, ...

putting retail workers (many of whom don't want to work in such environments (including my SO)) in this boat of policing customers and their masks (on) is dangerous, especially for those innocent people who are there only because their retail job was declared an 'essential' job (which is BS to me).

At least with my SO, they always have two off duty police officers monitoring the situation there on the premises. They have had issues w/ customers getting mad because they didn't have a mask on, and who were yelling and screaming while they were in the parking lot stomping back to their vehicle (to get their mask I presume).

The two police officers thank goodness were monitoring the situation but still, I don't want my SO to get into a hassle which could possibly turn physical. We don't know who is positive or negative to CV, and the way trump is farting around w/ these tests, I don't know if we'll ever get enough tests to monitor the situation in the Country adequately.

Best bet: Let the rent a cop handle the situation if available, or, let the store management (security personal if available) handle the situation, or in the worst case scenario, walk away/leave. Why stay around and possibly expose yourself? Notify store mgmt of course of the issue (someone not wearing their masks) and leave.

Thing is, sure some people may be 'civilized' but you don't know that. And by the way, you're not a coward, instead, you chose the smart thing to do. There's a reason why there is a human reaction to fight or flee. You chose the flee option, which is just as valid of a survivalist instinct as any other options out there. Good for you.

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 03:49 PM

13. i never confront people.. they are too crazy these days

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 03:53 PM

14. That's not cowardice. You were being prudent.

Depending upon my mood and my sense of their potential reaction, I would have done one of three things:

1) Exactly what you did.
2) Said something to a staff member.
3) Very politely with a big grin on my face (that you could hear in my voice and see in my eyes), given them some helpful advice - exact words/tactic dependent upon their reaction.

I can be like your friend...when I feel like it. If I don't feel like it, I keep my head down.

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 03:54 PM

15. I went to convenience store just now. Out of about 8 people, I was the only one wearing a mask.

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Response to LizBeth (Reply #15)

Sun May 17, 2020, 10:06 PM

26. You could not pay me to go in a small store like that.

 

I will go pick up my groceries, or go to an outdoor market, but no convenience stores for me. Not much of a sacrifice since I never go into them anyway.

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 04:04 PM

16. Carry some pictures of really dumb people doing stupid things and hand it to them.

I really like the "dumber than a pigeon" one from a few days ago here.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100213396509

The great thing is it takes them so long to work out what you're telling them, that you are long gone

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 04:07 PM

17. Can't fix stupid.

Point it out to a manager and let it go after that.

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 04:39 PM

20. I'm among the MINORITY wearing masks in my area.

I wish that I had your "mask privilege" here. Lol.

Ohio's Republican governor doesn't REQUIRE them, so of course most people aren't wearing them despite his recommendations to do so.

Maybe you could've pointed them out to a manager, but I agree with others to not be directly confrontational.

Trust me, the most important factor is what gets established from the top -- state laws. It's like trying to stamp out little fires erupting everywhere otherwise, and you'd eventually get surrounded by roaring flames with that individual approach.

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 05:03 PM

21. It's not your job to police them

Let the store handle it.

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Response to Loki Liesmith (Reply #21)

Sun May 17, 2020, 11:01 PM

28. +1

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Response to Loki Liesmith (Reply #21)

Tue May 19, 2020, 12:59 PM

31. This. nt

 

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 05:08 PM

22. You're no coward.

We all do what our minds tell us to do at the time.

There is nothing wrong with being timid.

We are who we are.

You are not the police, you're just a person who had to go to the drug store.

Don't beat yourself up.

It sounds like you are a thoughtful person. Be proud, because that seems to be getting rare these days.

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 05:25 PM

23. No confrontation... they may be violent then, or in the parking lot.

Just stay away and take care of yourself.

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 06:05 PM

24. stores with the requirements

are getting edgy about this. Some may even drop the requirement because people can be such assholes. I really hope that doesn't happen.
When I see people like that I imagine they are real slobs, keep dirty homes, and try to figure out who they work for (easy where I live) and note not to do business with them. They are blatantly careless which probably extends to all areas of their life.

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 09:33 PM

25. I am timid in real life. I happens so quick i don't recognize i'm doing it. I also

don't hear with words but paint a picture so i can be easily moved on to listening/visualizing the next part of the conversation, as feeling timid us unpleasant. Makes me gullible. Online or when i'm alone i can reason fully and feel fully and need the downtime to process everything over days-months-years. I am not gullible in the long term. But only if i have the right amount of downtime. I can't control it. It is who i physically am. There are good things to being timid and bad things. Same as with any part of you. Like Yuval Noah Harari says in his book "Sapiens" emotions are just proxies for instructions for how to survive in certain situations.

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 10:47 PM

27. If they were outside the drugstore away from the entrance, that

they didn't have their masks up was irrelevant to you. I would have just walked an arc around them into the store.

They were family, living in the same house, if they were out of the store, maybe they felt it was ok to lower their masks, a valid choice.

I wear a mask when in public among people. When I get to my car, I look around to insure no one is near me and if not, I remove my mask and get into my car. I spray the mask down with 91% alcohol once I get home.

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Tue May 19, 2020, 12:53 PM

29. I went to my Target today to pick up an online order. OMG!!!!

Because I ordered on a computer instead of in the app, I had to go to guest services to pick up my order rather than get curb side delivery.

Here's my rough estimate.

Target employees: Half masked
Target shoppers: A third masked

Masked Target employees with their mask pulled down below their nose: About a third
Masked Target shoppers with their mask pulled down below their nose: About a quarter

The employee who got my bags from the back was unmasked. Instead of leaving them on a counter for me to pick up, she came out from the back and walked right up to hand them to me with no more than maybe eighteen inches separating our faces. Happened too fast for me to back up.

There would have been too many to say anything to if I was in the mood. I was so gobsmacked by the stupidity, I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

Not worth it. I'm going online shopping exclusively. Too many covidiots in my town.

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Response to cyclonefence (Original post)

Tue May 19, 2020, 12:55 PM

30. I am such a brat

that I would have pulled my mask down too and started coughing. I'm not nice.

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