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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsTrump Orders Pence to Start Picking Up Pompeo's Laundry
Link to tweet
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)In an effort to dampen the controversy over Secretary of State Mike Pompeos alleged use of a State Department employee to run personal errands, Donald J. Trump has ordered Mike Pence to start picking up Pompeos laundry, effective immediately.
In addition to his new laundry duties, Pence will be solely responsible for walking Pompeos dog and for what the White House described as light housework.
Reportedly, Pence has already hit the ground running in his new role and is in talks with Pompeo about how he likes his shirts done.
Although assigning Pompeos errands to Pence appears to have solved one problem, it may have created a new one, because the Vice-President will no longer be available to perform the personal errands for Trump that have been his responsibility for the past three years, such as fetching cans of Diet Coke and replenishing the Oval Offices supply of Sharpies.
According to a White House source, those tasks could ultimately fall to Trumps son-in-law, Jared Kushner, should he prove capable of doing them without messing up.
While Pences appointment as Pompeos errand boy raised eyebrows in Washington, it drew the strong support of his fellow White House coronavirus-task-force member Dr. Anthony Fauci. Anything that takes Mike Pence away from the coronavirus response is a great thing, Fauci said.
In addition to his new laundry duties, Pence will be solely responsible for walking Pompeos dog and for what the White House described as light housework.
Reportedly, Pence has already hit the ground running in his new role and is in talks with Pompeo about how he likes his shirts done.
Although assigning Pompeos errands to Pence appears to have solved one problem, it may have created a new one, because the Vice-President will no longer be available to perform the personal errands for Trump that have been his responsibility for the past three years, such as fetching cans of Diet Coke and replenishing the Oval Offices supply of Sharpies.
According to a White House source, those tasks could ultimately fall to Trumps son-in-law, Jared Kushner, should he prove capable of doing them without messing up.
While Pences appointment as Pompeos errand boy raised eyebrows in Washington, it drew the strong support of his fellow White House coronavirus-task-force member Dr. Anthony Fauci. Anything that takes Mike Pence away from the coronavirus response is a great thing, Fauci said.
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Trump Orders Pence to Start Picking Up Pompeo's Laundry (Original Post)
Gothmog
May 2020
OP
Wounded Bear
(58,646 posts)1. Mr Borowitz is honing his game for the election season...
Submariner
(12,503 posts)3. I feel bad for Mr Borowitz
During the Obama administration he sued to write satire that was hilarious. But this past couple of years he has struggled, because much of his so-called satire has come true as fact, or closer to reality than many of us can believe.
I look forward to his returning to satire during the Biden administration with his new Secretary of State Barack H Obama.
FoxNewsSucks
(10,429 posts)2. I wondered where Mullah Pence has been
nilram
(2,886 posts)4. If only it were true
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)5. K&R