Yesterday, my two other sisters and I spent the day with my dying sister.

[demtenjeep]

Last edited Mon Jun 1, 2020, 12:33 AM - Edit history (1)

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100213395236


We went to her home, sang, cried, discussed final plans, sang, ate, cried loved and hugged.

I think it let my sister just be herself and talk about her feelings. Her hub is a blubbering mess already and we sent him off fishing.

We had the best time and talked about anything and everything. Childhood memories, all of our kids and grandkids, her worries, her desires, her wishes. We started writing her eulogy. She wants to form it as The Dash -you know what did you do between birth and death. She showed us what she wants to be buried in. A beautiful pink sweater/skirt combo. One of my sisters asked what kind of shoes and Regina said ....booties. We all cracked up. She showed us little I love you mom notes her kids used to write her during church when they were little. She wants them in the pocket of her skirt.

It was very emotional and draining and loving but she was as relaxed and carefree as I have seen her in many years. She is facing death with dignity and honor and She is my Hero.


our youngest sister has started a fund raiser to pay for burial and funeral expenses. I would post it here but it is on FB and because of the crack pots that watch us and then try to dox us , I don't want to post. SO...if you feel so inclined, you could send me a DM and I would send the link.

[TEB]

1. Peace and love to you all

[malaise]

2. And you are there

[democrank]

3. Sending love to you and your family

[demtenjeep]

4. I appreciate you all letting me talk about it here.

Maybe because we have never met in person, it lets me talk about it because I have to. Otherwise my heart might literally break.

Thank you all

[Scarsdale]

18. I'm crying as I write this.

What a beautiful tribute to her, and all of you ladies. It sounds as though she has accepted the inevitable, and you all are helping her through it. So very sorry you will lose her. Stay strong, and be there for her family. Thanks for posting, showing the rest of us how to say goodbye with love.

[Maeve]

5. It is never easy, but it sounds like you're doing it right

May you and your family know light in this difficult time

[livetohike]

6. Sending hugs and love to you, your sister and

family .

[Frustratedlady]

7. What a beautiful story. Death is always hard to talk about, but you all made it easier.

I loved the part about the kids' notes to be put in her pocket. What memories you must all have to share when she is gone.

May she have an easy crossing.

[Croney]

8. It sounds like a perfect expression of deep love. When my sister was dying,

we started a project. We listened to all the old songs and compiled a list of her favorites, to be played at her funeral. Whenever I hear Brown-Eyed Girl, her #1, I smile and remember the laughter we shared over those songs.

[demtenjeep]

9. I don't know if I ever told anyone here , but That sister, her husband, our uncle and one of our nep

formed a group called Prairie Gold.

We have recorded a couple of CD's

We used to go all over Kansas and perform. We even did the state fair a few years.

It was more oldies type as they are @13 years older than I and our uncle the Bass Player was over 75.

[Croney]

19. Priceless memories! The music lives on.

[sheshe2]

10. What a beautiful and moving post, demtenjeep.

Peace to you all.

[gademocrat7]

11. Peace and strength be with you and your family.

Take care.

[yonder]

12. Your sister is in good hands.

Good job on sending her husband fishing, you'll have yesterdays memories of just the sisters, forever.

May she journey well.

[Fla Dem]

13. Choked me up, reading how much love was shared with you and your sisters.

May peace continue to be with your sister, you and the rest of your family. It's never easy saying goodbye to those we love, but it does help to know she's facing it with her eyes wide open and a smile in her heart.

[chia]

14. How good that you sisters could all be there for each other. Such great love you share....

As one of four sisters myself, my heart goes out to you in this time of impending loss. It's easy to see you have all the love you need, may you also have all the strength.

[firstwife]

15. My heart is singing for you

and breaking at the same time. It sounds like the Best way to die, and also wouldn’t your parents just be so pleased to know? I Absolutely Love this, something you sisters will share going forward, always forward. Best wishes, stay well

[Collimator]

16. That was beautiful.

It is heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time.

Can I be honest? I am a little envious of you and your family. There is no such honesty, vulnerability and trust in my own family.

I feel for your upcoming loss and your sister's struggle, but dear goddess, how she has clearly lived! It seems like you and your kin have truly embraced that whole "Live, love and laugh" ethic in a sincere way, and not in that shallow "Karen way".

Please take care of yourself as well. If you need to share here as part of your healing, we are honored to hear you.

[demtenjeep]

29. thank you

that was the point of yesterday-to make it all about her. She was clearly in pain, but said she was the happiest she has been in a long time.


She has been fighting this for a while. Her first surgery was in 2016

[live love laugh]

17. Prayers and blessings to you. nt

[ancianita]

20. Thank you for sharing this. Peace to you and your family.

[Jarqui]

21. What a lovely post

Thank you.

You could be your sister's hero ...

[Karadeniz]

22. What a wonderful opportunity...and you all made the most of it! Some people can't discuss

Their own death, so family is deprived of honest discussions. I'm so happy your family could face this time with humor, true closeness and love!❤

[MLAA]

23. 💕💕💕💕💕💖💖💖💖💖

[Hekate]

24. So much love and light in all this darkness. Peace and love to you all.

Thank you for sharing this with us.

[AwakeAtLast]

25. May we all be so brave.

I'm so glad you were able to be with her. Isn't it amazing that that is a luxury in these times? You will treasure those memories for years to come!

[tiredtoo]

26. demtenjeep

Beautiful. thank you for sharing.

[Ninga]

27. So heartfelt and genuine. Peaceful passing to your dear sister and condolences to you

and your family.

[demtenjeep]

28. thank you all

there are 6 of us and we grew up in a fun, close loving family.

Daddy worked aircraft all his married life except for the years he was drafted.

Mama stayed home and sewed. We didn't have much growing up, but we had love.

Daddy has been gone since 97 and Mama died 2015.

This sister is the second born. I am the 4th born. The boys are bookends.


I made it out of the small town and am the only college graduate with a masters.



While we were all together, the deed came for the cemetery plots. I didn't want recognition but there it was so we all looked it over and she and I put it in a place where I know where it is.

[pazzyanne]

30. What a wonderful family send-off you gave your sister!

My heart and condolences go out to you and all your family members. So sorry you all are going through this.

[Harker]

31. Death is sometimes the hardest part of life

for the dying or for those who live on.

To face it together, with love and acceptance, is a beautiful thing.

[demtenjeep]

32. she doesn't want to die she is just tired and sick and sick of being tired and sick and in pain

she made the choice to stop the trial that was the last option because she wasn't living

[Paka]

33. Sending you kind thoughts and comfort.

How I eny you those moments of closure. I have been living in Thailand for 15 years and because of Covid we are still under lockdown with no commercial flights out. My brother who has stage 4 cancer was taken back to hospital 2 days ago and is deteriorating rapidly. He will most likely die before I have any opportunity of leaving Thailand and I am feeling a great deal of pain being so far away. He doesn't do Skype or Zoom so I can't connect with him that way.

I did visit him in January, but we had no idea he was so close to the end. I flew back to Thailand one week before our shutdown went into place. In my sadness I mourn the world I once knew.

[H2O Man]

34. Beyond words....

the only words that come to mind are "dignity" and "respect."
--Pat

[Upthevibe]

35. I'm so sorry to hear about your sister...

It's important that you guys were there with her and had a visit that sounds very fulfilling....Peace to you and the entire family.

[peggysue2]

36. Beautiful post, demtenjeep

Peace to you and your family.

[demtenjeep]

37. our started a fundraiser for her burial expenses. They both live on SS and have a tiny life insuran

but she did it on facebook and I don't want to put her fB on line because of the crackpots and nuts.

If anyone felt so inclined, you can PM me and I would shoot you the link.



We just want her to enjoy what time she has left and not worry about how they are going to get money to bury her with.

[MontanaMama]

38. I remember you all were supposed to go on a cruise!

then Covid...then your sister went into hospice. What a whirlwind of emotion, sadness and acceptance. Your post is beautiful and I wish you and your family peace during these difficult days.

[demtenjeep]

41. yea

I stayed up late writing and slept in till noon today

emotionally drained.

[MontanaMama]

43. I know. I've done it.

Sleep all you can when you can. These are tough days.

[UpInArms]

39. Peace and strength to you and your family

[Snackshack]

40. You have...

My sincere thoughts and best wishes demtenjeep!

I will never forget a day i spent like this with my mom before she passed on and as you said it was emotional and draining but i will forever be grateful and feel so fortunate to have had the opportunity to spend time like that with her before she left.

[demtenjeep]

42. exactly

Talked to my sister this afternoon. She said she is still so happy from the weekend, she said she didn't have to use a pain patch yesterday at all