Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:09 PM
Tree-Hugger (3,199 posts)
My dad is losing his best friend in an hour
My dad's best friend will be taken off of life support in an hour. He had been hospitalized a month ago and was sent into a nursing home to recover. He contracted Covid and was sent back to the hospital and eventually on a vent. He is around 70 and has a host a health problems and it doesn't help that he was in one of the worst Philly hospitals.
My dad and this friend have played cards with one other friend every Wednesday night since the 70's, stopping only for Covid. My mom joked that my dad was so dedicated to Wednesday night cards that if she died on a Wednesday, he'd still go out to play cards. Well, my mom died this year on New Year's Day, which was a Wednesday. My dad played cards that night. I'm worried about my dad. We just lost my mom. I have taken my kids over weekly for over a decade, but we stopped due to Covid. My dad is a Vietnam Vet who still holds into that trauma and doesn't realky express a lot of emotion. Fuck Covid. Fuck Covid. Can I get some prayers and good thoughts sent to my dad's friend, his family, and my dad plesse?
|
61 replies, 9308 views
![]() |
Author | Time | Post |
![]() |
Tree-Hugger | Jun 2020 | OP |
demtenjeep | Jun 2020 | #1 | |
bobbieinok | Jun 2020 | #9 | |
Initech | Jun 2020 | #2 | |
lunasun | Jun 2020 | #3 | |
irisblue | Jun 2020 | #4 | |
The Velveteen Ocelot | Jun 2020 | #5 | |
CentralMass | Jun 2020 | #6 | |
woodsprite | Jun 2020 | #7 | |
Different Drummer | Jun 2020 | #8 | |
peggysue2 | Jun 2020 | #10 | |
niyad | Jun 2020 | #11 | |
N_E_1 for Tennis | Jun 2020 | #12 | |
MissB | Jun 2020 | #13 | |
MLAA | Jun 2020 | #14 | |
wendyb-NC | Jun 2020 | #15 | |
stillcool | Jun 2020 | #16 | |
ancianita | Jun 2020 | #17 | |
cilla4progress | Jun 2020 | #18 | |
cp | Jun 2020 | #19 | |
FM123 | Jun 2020 | #20 | |
gademocrat7 | Jun 2020 | #21 | |
crickets | Jun 2020 | #22 | |
dlk | Jun 2020 | #23 | |
Maeve | Jun 2020 | #24 | |
Karadeniz | Jun 2020 | #28 | |
democrank | Jun 2020 | #25 | |
bearssoapbox | Jun 2020 | #26 | |
TygrBright | Jun 2020 | #27 | |
bronxiteforever | Jun 2020 | #29 | |
bluboid | Jun 2020 | #30 | |
LaMouffette | Jun 2020 | #31 | |
SayItLoud | Jun 2020 | #32 | |
Niagara | Jun 2020 | #33 | |
live love laugh | Jun 2020 | #34 | |
orleans | Jun 2020 | #35 | |
pazzyanne | Jun 2020 | #36 | |
helpisontheway | Jun 2020 | #37 | |
SideStep | Jun 2020 | #38 | |
barbtries | Jun 2020 | #39 | |
SleeplessinSoCal | Jun 2020 | #40 | |
H2O Man | Jun 2020 | #41 | |
kag | Jun 2020 | #42 | |
sinkingfeeling | Jun 2020 | #43 | |
GentryDixon | Jun 2020 | #44 | |
DownriverDem | Jun 2020 | #45 | |
masmdu | Jun 2020 | #46 | |
SheltieLover | Jun 2020 | #47 | |
majdrfrtim | Jun 2020 | #48 | |
Heartstrings | Jun 2020 | #49 | |
femmedem | Jun 2020 | #50 | |
qwlauren35 | Jun 2020 | #51 | |
diva77 | Jun 2020 | #52 | |
smirkymonkey | Jun 2020 | #53 | |
demigoddess | Jun 2020 | #54 | |
hamsterjill | Jun 2020 | #55 | |
Ligyron | Jun 2020 | #56 | |
Wawannabe | Jun 2020 | #57 | |
Hotler | Jun 2020 | #58 | |
denbot | Jun 2020 | #59 | |
Rhiannon12866 | Jun 2020 | #60 | |
Tommymac | Jun 2020 | #61 |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:10 PM
demtenjeep (31,997 posts)
1. you have it
All the prayers, all the love, all the comfort we can give
![]() |
Response to demtenjeep (Reply #1)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:21 PM
bobbieinok (12,858 posts)
9. Agree. What a difficult period for you all
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:11 PM
Initech (97,269 posts)
2. Fuck COVID!
The sooner it's gone from our lives the better!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:12 PM
lunasun (21,646 posts)
3. Peace to all
![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:13 PM
The Velveteen Ocelot (108,816 posts)
5. My deepest sympathies for your dad's friend, his family, and your dad
and for you, too.
: ![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:17 PM
woodsprite (11,538 posts)
7. Sending prayers of support and virtual hugs to your dad, his friend and friend's family. nt
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:20 PM
Different Drummer (6,553 posts)
8. Prayers and good thoughts from me.
![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:21 PM
peggysue2 (9,851 posts)
10. Peace for you and your family
It's been a tough year made all the worse by Covid-19. Sending good vibes in the direction of Philly.
![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:23 PM
niyad (101,462 posts)
11. I(((((((((Tree-Hugger)))))))). Prayers for peace and comfort for alll of you in this sad time.
Light and love. Your DU family is here for you.
|
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:25 PM
N_E_1 for Tennis (7,926 posts)
12. Prayers to a fellow vet...
If your Dad is in the VA system they have wonderful tools for grief consultations among other programs. Even if he isn’t they will help. These people know what and how to say to those who have a hard time opening up. He’ll probably refuse, if he’s like the guys I know, but trying is free you never know..
https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/families/programs.asp |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:26 PM
MissB (15,588 posts)
13. I'm so sorry
Both to you for the loss of your mom and to your dad for the loss of his friend.
|
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:29 PM
MLAA (14,747 posts)
14. Sending 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
Thinking of your dad, you and your entire family Tree-Hugger.
|
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:35 PM
wendyb-NC (2,756 posts)
15. I'm sending prayers, and thoughts of well being
for your dad, his friend and you. I will keep offering pleas to keep you and your dad well and strong.
|
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:36 PM
stillcool (32,620 posts)
16. hugs, thoughts, prayers..
for Dad, his friend and family...and you.
![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:43 PM
ancianita (31,952 posts)
17. Please tell him we support him. Peace to him and you.
![]() ![]() ![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:48 PM
cilla4progress (23,033 posts)
18. Sending good thoughts
and love.
|
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:52 PM
FM123 (9,936 posts)
20. Sending your dad and his friend (and you too ) much love today!
![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:52 PM
gademocrat7 (10,137 posts)
21. Sending prayers for your dad's friend, his family and your dad.
Take care. We are here for you
|
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:53 PM
crickets (25,112 posts)
22. I am so sorry. All the strength and love to you and your dad.
![]() ![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:59 PM
dlk (10,529 posts)
23. Very sorry for the situation and the loss
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:00 PM
Maeve (41,651 posts)
24. May light surround you all
![]() |
Response to Maeve (Reply #24)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:13 PM
Karadeniz (20,287 posts)
28. I want to ditto this wish.
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:01 PM
democrank (10,613 posts)
25. So sorry
Sending love~
|
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:02 PM
bearssoapbox (1,408 posts)
26. My condolences, good thoughts and prayers to all of you.
![]() ![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:08 PM
TygrBright (20,216 posts)
27. Holding you and your Dad in my heart... it's a terrible time. Stay strong for each other. n/t
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:16 PM
bronxiteforever (8,760 posts)
29. Sending love, sympathy and peace.
![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:17 PM
bluboid (457 posts)
30. sending love & well wishes for all of you!
I've never met a tree hugger I didn't love on first sight! take care & stay well.
|
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:24 PM
LaMouffette (1,781 posts)
31. So much sympathy for you and your dad, Tree-Hugger!
It was a long time ago, but when my dad died of a heart attack at an early age, one of the most heartbreaking moments was witnessing my grandfather hear the news that his son, who was his best friend, had passed. The shock and bewilderment on his face is an image that will haunt me forever. So I can well relate to the poignancy and devastation of your dad losing his best friend.
I'm very sorry for the loss of your mom as well! Prayers to you and your family! |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:28 PM
SayItLoud (1,640 posts)
32. You have mine, and thanks for sharing with us, it helps us too! nt.
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:35 PM
Niagara (4,922 posts)
33. Sending strength, prayers and good thoughts to you and yours.
![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:47 PM
live love laugh (11,830 posts)
34. Prayers for your dad, his friend and you 🙏🏽 nt
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:57 PM
orleans (32,551 posts)
35. that's so sad. i'm so very sorry.
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:59 PM
pazzyanne (6,079 posts)
36. Blessings and prayers for your dad, his friend, you and your families.
Take care of you, my friend. May we all move on to better days ahead.
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:03 PM
helpisontheway (4,904 posts)
37. I'm so sorry. Covid sucks! 🙏🏽Nt
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:04 PM
SideStep (93 posts)
38. Prayers to all of them. Prayers to you as their front-line support.
Sorry for the loss of your mother.
Watch for and be open to your dad opening up more. It happens to many after they lose their wife and gain in years. |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:08 PM
barbtries (27,843 posts)
39. yes, yes you can.
I am so sorry.
|
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:22 PM
SleeplessinSoCal (7,991 posts)
40. This boomer expresses love and kindness for your dad.
Boomers get a lot of shit today. Covid is just another hit to the children of the "greatest" generation. Your dad's life is basically bookended by racial injustice and protests. He is a double Vet. Hats off to him. I hope you have Wednesdays free to sit down for a card game.
|
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:28 PM
H2O Man (71,561 posts)
41. Yes, certainly.
Recommended.
|
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:30 PM
kag (4,021 posts)
42. Warmest wishes to you and your dad.
Sending strength and healing your way.
![]() ![]() ![]() Also... Fuck Covid. And fuck Trump for making Covid way worse than it ever had to be. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:32 PM
sinkingfeeling (48,109 posts)
43. I am very sorry.
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:35 PM
GentryDixon (2,921 posts)
44. Loving thoughts for you, your dad & his best friend.
![]() ![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:38 PM
DownriverDem (5,871 posts)
45. So young
RIP.
|
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:42 PM
SheltieLover (57,073 posts)
47. Healing vibes on the way!
May he feel peace in his friend's transition to Spirit.
![]() ![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:59 PM
majdrfrtim (289 posts)
48. Prayers, of course, Tree!
Blessings upon you, as well.
Grief is not a mental illness, but it certainly can *feel* like one -- probably because every new grief brings up every old grief. While I was in the military, I attempted to help military personnel re-frame their experience, despite what the culture told them: Tears are the mark of the *courage* it takes to assault into an ambush of grief. Tears are not the enemy. Tears denote the refusal to "turn tail and run away from" a reality that is unimaginably painful, awful, wrong, unfair, etc. I pray that all the people affected by your dad's friend's death allow themselves the gift of tears -- including you, Tree-Hugger. As much as you love your dad, I pray that you have in your life a power greater than yourself which loves him even more, and even better. Thank you for sharing your journey with us here at DU. |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:26 PM
Heartstrings (7,349 posts)
49. Good vibes sent to all, Tree-Hugger!
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:27 PM
femmedem (7,897 posts)
50. I'm so sorry for your father's loss and for the pain you both feel.
Hoping your dad and his friend's family come through this with as much ease as possible, and that your father finds ways to fill the holes in his life and heart.
|
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:32 PM
qwlauren35 (5,531 posts)
51. None of my business but...
maybe he can move in with you?
Please get tested, get your father tested, get everyone you love tested, and then GET TOGETHER. Some hugs are needed, and the virtual ones aren't going to cut it. You have my deepest sympathies; I feel for your father. Watching your friends and family die before you do is the pain of getting old, and it sucks every time. Cherish the time you have with him, and accept when his time comes. |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 07:10 PM
diva77 (6,899 posts)
52. so very very sorry, Tree-Hugger -- am sending good thoughts
to you, your Dad, his friend & family
![]() ![]() I think post #51 from qwlauren has excellent suggestions if that is a possibility for you |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 07:19 PM
smirkymonkey (63,221 posts)
53. So sorry to hear Tree-Hugger.
Sending good vibes and healing thoughts to your family and your dad's friend. So sorry to hear about your mom. My sincere condolences.
![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 08:06 PM
demigoddess (6,544 posts)
54. Lot of love and comfort (we hope)
One thing I know there is life after life. I have been visited by almost everyone that I have lost in this life. They go on and watch over us.
|
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 08:08 PM
hamsterjill (15,051 posts)
55. Sending prayers for a peaceful passing for your dad's friend
Sending prayers of strength and comfort to your dad.
These are just damn hard times. I am so sorry. |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 08:09 PM
Ligyron (7,193 posts)
56. Atheist here but prayed anyway.
cause you can never know for sure
|
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 09:23 PM
Wawannabe (4,811 posts)
57. You bet!
![]() Feel for you and your Dad (and friend). I am a Vietnam Vet daughter. My dad passed in 2012 at age 63. Lots of problems related to war and only there one year. 1969 |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Thu Jun 4, 2020, 12:15 AM
denbot (9,861 posts)
59. My best thoughts for your popps.
And all those that love him.
Peace. |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Thu Jun 4, 2020, 03:33 AM
Rhiannon12866 (180,009 posts)
60. I am so sorry that your Dad is facing yet another devastating loss
Sending all the powerful DU vibes I've got to your Dad, your Dad's friend and to you and your family.
![]() |
Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)
Thu Jun 4, 2020, 10:16 AM
Tommymac (7,263 posts)
61. Good Thoughts Godspeeding their way.
From a devout agnostic. May they find peace and comfort in an increasingly confusing world.
![]() |