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Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:09 PM

My dad is losing his best friend in an hour

My dad's best friend will be taken off of life support in an hour. He had been hospitalized a month ago and was sent into a nursing home to recover. He contracted Covid and was sent back to the hospital and eventually on a vent. He is around 70 and has a host a health problems and it doesn't help that he was in one of the worst Philly hospitals.

My dad and this friend have played cards with one other friend every Wednesday night since the 70's, stopping only for Covid. My mom joked that my dad was so dedicated to Wednesday night cards that if she died on a Wednesday, he'd still go out to play cards. Well, my mom died this year on New Year's Day, which was a Wednesday. My dad played cards that night.

I'm worried about my dad. We just lost my mom. I have taken my kids over weekly for over a decade, but we stopped due to Covid. My dad is a Vietnam Vet who still holds into that trauma and doesn't realky express a lot of emotion.

Fuck Covid. Fuck Covid.

Can I get some prayers and good thoughts sent to my dad's friend, his family, and my dad plesse?

61 replies, 9308 views

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Reply My dad is losing his best friend in an hour (Original post)
Tree-Hugger Jun 2020 OP
demtenjeep Jun 2020 #1
bobbieinok Jun 2020 #9
Initech Jun 2020 #2
lunasun Jun 2020 #3
irisblue Jun 2020 #4
The Velveteen Ocelot Jun 2020 #5
CentralMass Jun 2020 #6
woodsprite Jun 2020 #7
Different Drummer Jun 2020 #8
peggysue2 Jun 2020 #10
niyad Jun 2020 #11
N_E_1 for Tennis Jun 2020 #12
MissB Jun 2020 #13
MLAA Jun 2020 #14
wendyb-NC Jun 2020 #15
stillcool Jun 2020 #16
ancianita Jun 2020 #17
cilla4progress Jun 2020 #18
cp Jun 2020 #19
FM123 Jun 2020 #20
gademocrat7 Jun 2020 #21
crickets Jun 2020 #22
dlk Jun 2020 #23
Maeve Jun 2020 #24
Karadeniz Jun 2020 #28
democrank Jun 2020 #25
bearssoapbox Jun 2020 #26
TygrBright Jun 2020 #27
bronxiteforever Jun 2020 #29
bluboid Jun 2020 #30
LaMouffette Jun 2020 #31
SayItLoud Jun 2020 #32
Niagara Jun 2020 #33
live love laugh Jun 2020 #34
orleans Jun 2020 #35
pazzyanne Jun 2020 #36
helpisontheway Jun 2020 #37
SideStep Jun 2020 #38
barbtries Jun 2020 #39
SleeplessinSoCal Jun 2020 #40
H2O Man Jun 2020 #41
kag Jun 2020 #42
sinkingfeeling Jun 2020 #43
GentryDixon Jun 2020 #44
DownriverDem Jun 2020 #45
masmdu Jun 2020 #46
SheltieLover Jun 2020 #47
majdrfrtim Jun 2020 #48
Heartstrings Jun 2020 #49
femmedem Jun 2020 #50
qwlauren35 Jun 2020 #51
diva77 Jun 2020 #52
smirkymonkey Jun 2020 #53
demigoddess Jun 2020 #54
hamsterjill Jun 2020 #55
Ligyron Jun 2020 #56
Wawannabe Jun 2020 #57
Hotler Jun 2020 #58
denbot Jun 2020 #59
Rhiannon12866 Jun 2020 #60
Tommymac Jun 2020 #61

Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:10 PM

1. you have it

 

All the prayers, all the love, all the comfort we can give

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Response to demtenjeep (Reply #1)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:21 PM

9. Agree. What a difficult period for you all

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:11 PM

2. Fuck COVID!

The sooner it's gone from our lives the better!

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:12 PM

3. Peace to all

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:13 PM

4. 🕯️

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:13 PM

5. My deepest sympathies for your dad's friend, his family, and your dad

and for you, too.

:

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:16 PM

6. :-(

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:17 PM

7. Sending prayers of support and virtual hugs to your dad, his friend and friend's family. nt

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:20 PM

8. Prayers and good thoughts from me.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:21 PM

10. Peace for you and your family

It's been a tough year made all the worse by Covid-19. Sending good vibes in the direction of Philly.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:23 PM

11. I(((((((((Tree-Hugger)))))))). Prayers for peace and comfort for alll of you in this sad time.

Light and love. Your DU family is here for you.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:25 PM

12. Prayers to a fellow vet...

If your Dad is in the VA system they have wonderful tools for grief consultations among other programs. Even if he isnít they will help. These people know what and how to say to those who have a hard time opening up. Heíll probably refuse, if heís like the guys I know, but trying is free you never know..

https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/families/programs.asp

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:26 PM

13. I'm so sorry

Both to you for the loss of your mom and to your dad for the loss of his friend.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:29 PM

14. Sending 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Thinking of your dad, you and your entire family Tree-Hugger.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:35 PM

15. I'm sending prayers, and thoughts of well being

for your dad, his friend and you. I will keep offering pleas to keep you and your dad well and strong.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:36 PM

16. hugs, thoughts, prayers..

for Dad, his friend and family...and you.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:43 PM

17. Please tell him we support him. Peace to him and you.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:48 PM

18. Sending good thoughts

and love.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:52 PM

19. Sending love

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:52 PM

20. Sending your dad and his friend (and you too ) much love today!

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:52 PM

21. Sending prayers for your dad's friend, his family and your dad.

Take care. We are here for you

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:53 PM

22. I am so sorry. All the strength and love to you and your dad.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:59 PM

23. Very sorry for the situation and the loss

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:00 PM

24. May light surround you all

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Response to Maeve (Reply #24)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:13 PM

28. I want to ditto this wish.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:01 PM

25. So sorry

Sending love~

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:02 PM

26. My condolences, good thoughts and prayers to all of you.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:08 PM

27. Holding you and your Dad in my heart... it's a terrible time. Stay strong for each other. n/t

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:16 PM

29. Sending love, sympathy and peace.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:17 PM

30. sending love & well wishes for all of you!

I've never met a tree hugger I didn't love on first sight! take care & stay well.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:24 PM

31. So much sympathy for you and your dad, Tree-Hugger!

It was a long time ago, but when my dad died of a heart attack at an early age, one of the most heartbreaking moments was witnessing my grandfather hear the news that his son, who was his best friend, had passed. The shock and bewilderment on his face is an image that will haunt me forever. So I can well relate to the poignancy and devastation of your dad losing his best friend.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your mom as well! Prayers to you and your family!

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:28 PM

32. You have mine, and thanks for sharing with us, it helps us too! nt.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:35 PM

33. Sending strength, prayers and good thoughts to you and yours.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:47 PM

34. Prayers for your dad, his friend and you 🙏🏽 nt

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:57 PM

35. that's so sad. i'm so very sorry.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:59 PM

36. Blessings and prayers for your dad, his friend, you and your families.

Take care of you, my friend. May we all move on to better days ahead.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:03 PM

37. I'm so sorry. Covid sucks! 🙏🏽Nt

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:04 PM

38. Prayers to all of them. Prayers to you as their front-line support.

 

Sorry for the loss of your mother.

Watch for and be open to your dad opening up more. It happens to many after they lose their wife and gain in years.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:08 PM

39. yes, yes you can.

I am so sorry.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:22 PM

40. This boomer expresses love and kindness for your dad.

Boomers get a lot of shit today. Covid is just another hit to the children of the "greatest" generation. Your dad's life is basically bookended by racial injustice and protests. He is a double Vet. Hats off to him. I hope you have Wednesdays free to sit down for a card game.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:28 PM

41. Yes, certainly.

Recommended.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:30 PM

42. Warmest wishes to you and your dad.

Sending strength and healing your way.

Also...

Fuck Covid. And fuck Trump for making Covid way worse than it ever had to be.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:32 PM

43. I am very sorry.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:35 PM

44. Loving thoughts for you, your dad & his best friend.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:38 PM

45. So young

RIP.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:39 PM

46. Peace...

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:42 PM

47. Healing vibes on the way!

May he feel peace in his friend's transition to Spirit.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:59 PM

48. Prayers, of course, Tree!

Blessings upon you, as well.

Grief is not a mental illness, but it certainly can *feel* like one -- probably because every new grief brings up every old grief.

While I was in the military, I attempted to help military personnel re-frame their experience, despite what the culture told them: Tears are the mark of the *courage* it takes to assault into an ambush of grief. Tears are not the enemy. Tears denote the refusal to "turn tail and run away from" a reality that is unimaginably painful, awful, wrong, unfair, etc.

I pray that all the people affected by your dad's friend's death allow themselves the gift of tears -- including you, Tree-Hugger.

As much as you love your dad, I pray that you have in your life a power greater than yourself which loves him even more, and even better.

Thank you for sharing your journey with us here at DU.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:26 PM

49. Good vibes sent to all, Tree-Hugger!

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:27 PM

50. I'm so sorry for your father's loss and for the pain you both feel.

Hoping your dad and his friend's family come through this with as much ease as possible, and that your father finds ways to fill the holes in his life and heart.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:32 PM

51. None of my business but...

maybe he can move in with you?

Please get tested, get your father tested, get everyone you love tested, and then GET TOGETHER.

Some hugs are needed, and the virtual ones aren't going to cut it.

You have my deepest sympathies; I feel for your father. Watching your friends and family die before you do is the pain of getting old, and it sucks every time.

Cherish the time you have with him, and accept when his time comes.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 07:10 PM

52. so very very sorry, Tree-Hugger -- am sending good thoughts

to you, your Dad, his friend & family



I think post #51 from qwlauren has excellent suggestions if that is a possibility for you

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 07:19 PM

53. So sorry to hear Tree-Hugger.

 

Sending good vibes and healing thoughts to your family and your dad's friend. So sorry to hear about your mom. My sincere condolences.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 08:06 PM

54. Lot of love and comfort (we hope)

One thing I know there is life after life. I have been visited by almost everyone that I have lost in this life. They go on and watch over us.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 08:08 PM

55. Sending prayers for a peaceful passing for your dad's friend

Sending prayers of strength and comfort to your dad.

These are just damn hard times.

I am so sorry.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 08:09 PM

56. Atheist here but prayed anyway.

cause you can never know for sure

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 09:23 PM

57. You bet!



Feel for you and your Dad (and friend). I am a Vietnam Vet daughter. My dad passed in 2012 at age 63. Lots of problems related to war and only there one year. 1969

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 09:33 PM

58. ...

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2020, 12:15 AM

59. My best thoughts for your popps.

And all those that love him.
Peace.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2020, 03:33 AM

60. I am so sorry that your Dad is facing yet another devastating loss

Sending all the powerful DU vibes I've got to your Dad, your Dad's friend and to you and your family.

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Response to Tree-Hugger (Original post)

Thu Jun 4, 2020, 10:16 AM

61. Good Thoughts Godspeeding their way.

From a devout agnostic. May they find peace and comfort in an increasingly confusing world.

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