Trump is going to give us a speech this week?!

[PJMcK]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Trump & Co. are so painfully obvious. The stunt at the church didn't turn out quite like they planned. Clearing protestors using military police tactics didn't make them look strong. Even Trump's tweets have lost their bite.

Now he's going to speak to the nation, and the world, about the racial problems we're facing.

Trump is the most racist leader we've had in modern times. The idea that he's going to unify and heal the country is ludicrous!

But it does give me a laugh early on a Monday morning.

[liberal N proud]

1. The racist is going to talk about race?

This should be a real shit show

[smb]

6. I Wonder Who Came Up With This Idea

Even Beavis and Butt-head aren't that stupid.

My best guess is Stephen Miller trolling.

[tblue37]

20. Jared, probably. nt

[lark]

42. Jared never advocates for good things, he's as petty and mean as drumpf.

Ivanka pretends to do that occasionally

[Gothmog]

41. Yep

Link to tweet

[Doodley]

2. Trump will be under strict orders to only read the teleprompter and not ad lib.

He will sniff a lot and sound like a six-year-old reading in class. He will say this is a continuation of what began under Obama and he will call on Republicans and Democrats to work on a solution. Later, fearing a backlash from his base, he will Tweet something outrageous that will overshadow all the BS written by his speechwriter.

[soothsayer]

3. Law and order will appear throughout speech

To counter any human-sounding things he’s reading.

[Vinca]

4. Let me guess - in front of the MLK monument this time?

[smb]

5. Oh, THAT'LL End Well....

he's going to speak to the nation, and the world, about the racial problems we're facing

[Solly Mack]

7. My fellow Americans and black people. I love the black people.

MAGAS love the black people. I've done more for black people than any president in the history of presidents. George Floyd approves this message. He is looking down and smiling at me for changing the lives of black people.

But we must have law and order. Black people love law and order. The police love law and order. Which means the police love black people.

Bad apples. They happen. I believe the great oracle, Donny Osmond, said it best. One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch, girl. That one policeman did a bad thing. George Floyd did bad things. George Floyd was forgiven. That's what we Christians do. We forgive. We do better.

I think. I think, maybe. I think George Floyd forgives the police. You should too. That's what America is about.

I saved D.C.. I did it. Not that nasty woman Mayor. Law and order. I did that. Weak governors. Weak mayors.

You need me, black people. What do you have to lose? George Floyd understands that, looking down from above.

Thank you and God Bless America... but not Antifa. Bad people. They don't like me. They don't like law and order. Bill Barr will get them. Bill's the man. The second man. I'm the first man. The best man. The man in charge. I am THE man. Black people get that. George Floyd gets that even now.

Remember. I saved you. I saved America. I made America great again.




Or something along those lines.

[Doodley]

9. You really captured Trump's way of speaking. Hilarious! Funniest thing I've read for days!

[Solly Mack]

11. Just think dumb and racist. Ego driven and clueless.

Then go lower.

[PJMcK]

10. Well done, Solly

Well done.

[Solly Mack]

12. Thanks. Left a bitter taste in my mouth though.

Sometimes, trying to capture a person leaves you feeling dirty.

[ms liberty]

13. Mikey Pence haz a sad. Daddy said Billy B was second man, not him.

Why doesn't Daddy T love Mikey?

Great piece, Solly! You nailed it!

[Solly Mack]

14. Pence will always be the donut in the trunk.

Thanks.

[underpants]

15. Classic.

[Solly Mack]

17. Thanks. Think low then go lower. That's Trump.

[NurseJackie]

21. Scary. Too real.

[Solly Mack]

23. The actual speechifying will be far worse.

[tblue37]

22. LOL!! nt

[Solly Mack]

24. Thanks.

[secondwind]

26. You nailed this! Wonderful!

[Solly Mack]

28. Thanks.

[dreamland]

30. That was solid!

[Solly Mack]

34. Eau de Trump-Poo. Just a whiff will gag you.

[lagomorph777]

33. He's gonna be pissed that you stole his script!

[Solly Mack]

35. lolol Oh, his will be much worse.

[uponit7771]

37. OP worthy !!!!!

[Solly Mack]

38. Thanks

I am already cringing at the thought of him giving a speech on race and unity.

He doesn't have it in him to feel empathy and he's too paranoid to even consider unity. All that and he's a racist POS.

No one wants to hear him. Well, to mock his ignorance, yes. But substance? Nah.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

8. It will probably be

"No one has done more for black people than me."

Or something like that.

[imanamerican63]

16. He will explain how we are "so racist towards him"!

We don’t treat him with the respect that he deserves and demands!

[maxrandb]

18. I don't underestimate him, or the gullible

Dems better be ready with a response. I think I kinda know how this will go.

- Racism has been a problem for a long time. No one else has fixed it. I can

- All these blue cities are run by Democrats.

- I'm not a "politician.

- Crime bill and incarceration bill "I" signed.

- Greatest African American employment we have ever seen.

- Sleepy Joe passed crime bill.

Etc.

Look, he knows his racist ass supporters are with him no matter what. They know he could kiss a black man on stage and it would be all an act. They know what is truly in his heart.

He doesn't even need to throw a few code words their way. He's proven that no matter what he says, he's their guy.

He also knows that if enough Americans actually employed critical thinking, and did "nuance", he wouldn't even be elected as dogcatcher in some Dumbfuckistan Murika shithole.

Do not underestimate him.

He's Peter Principled his way all the way to the highest office in the land.

Folks better be ready.

[Proud liberal 80]

19. Can't wait for Van Jones

To say he became President after the speech

[bearsfootball516]

25. He's gonna give another speech? Cool, that means Biden will increase his lead by another 2 percent.

[Mike 03]

27. Every single time he tries to "fix" some dumb mistake he's made he just

makes everything ten times worse. This pattern almost defines his presidency. Remember all the different statements and speeches he made about Charlottesville, each attempt worse than the one prior? Or how he tried to deal with the Christine Blaise Ford/Kavanaugh development?

[Goodheart]

29. "The black people love me more than they've ever loved anybody in the history of the black race."

[Baitball Blogger]

31. The only one who is happy about this on our side is

Sarah Cooper.

[lagomorph777]

32. I imagine the MAGATS will happily lap up his diarrhea. Nobody else will watch.

[KWR65]

36. My fellow Americans, I am your idiot in chief. n/t

[dalton99a]

39. Hannity: "Historic speech"... Kilmeade: "Truly presidential"... McEnany: "Extraordinary leadership"

[Gothmog]

40. This will be a sad speech

Link to tweet

[Gothmog]

43. This speech may be fun to laugh at

Link to tweet

[kskiska]

44. He'll throw in some bible quotes for good measure

since he'd been criticized by holding up the Bible without quoting it.