Trump Healing America With Race Speech Best Trump Idea Since 'Bleach'

[Zorro]

Y'all, there is an idea floating around the White House, for Donald Trump to heal and unify America with a speech about race, where he'd badly read Teleprompter words somebody else wrote for him, after which racism would obviously be solved forever. Because he's so good at reading and racial healing. Who will write this speech? We don't know, but if we were giving the White House advice, we'd say maybe keep Stephen Miller way from this one? Maybe Ivanka could just kidding Ivanka sucks at speeches too.

This is the best idea in the history of the Trump White House having ideas.

White House officials are currently deliberating a plan for President Donald Trump to address the nation this week on issues related to race and national unity, as Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson hinted in an interview with CNN on Sunday and a senior administration official said was under serious consideration.

Yes, Ben Carson did do an interview this weekend. "I would ask you to maybe reserve judgment until after that day," Ben Carson said to Jake Tapper, about Donald Trump AKA "The Healer" doing a speech on racial reconciliation. Because if Ben Carson — yes, Ben Carson — says Trump is going to fix race, who among us would dare to disagree? You know, besides black folks, who are pretty grossed out by what Carson has become?

Anyway, this will be great, aren't you feeling healed already? Last time Trump addressed the nation during this time of unrest and outrage, he staged a photo op where his attorney general gave the order to gas some peaceful protesters so Trump could waddle across the street and piss on baby Jesus by holding a Bible upside down in front of a church while declaring some fascism. If Trump's "Heal The World" speech is even half as good as that, then this should be tremendous.

https://www.wonkette.com/trump-healing-america-with-race-speech-best-trump-idea-since-bleach

[Eliot Rosewater]

1. MLK Jr. himself could write it and wont matter, nobody will hear the words, they will only

see the most powerful racist on earth.

[underpants]

2. Wonkette makes me chuckle

This week is going to be stupider than last week. Don't know if this speech will be part of that, but if there's one rule in Trump's America, it is that this week is always stupider than last week, no matter what week it is.

[flibbitygiblets]

3. "What has he got to lose?" God help me, I realllllly hope he goes thru with it.

It's going to be a failure of EPIC proportions. He's going to go off-script, start riffing, start with the "both sides" shit, and then the SS is going to have to keep him in that effing bunker until November.

[Hekate]

4. I can hardly wait. Truly. He should ad-lib, & it will be epic.

[Cha]

5. Ben Carson is FULL OF SHITE.. Shame on him for

being a Fucking Magat.

They're ALL Groveling pissants.

[Buns_of_Fire]

6. I hope he'll do his "Invisible Accordion" act!

Probably not, though. They'll have to drug him up just shy of comatose.

Their safest bet would be to borrow the figure from the Hall of Presidents at Disney World, prop it up behind the lectern, and hit the "on" switch.