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Beakybird

(3,329 posts)
Mon Jun 8, 2020, 11:59 PM Jun 2020

Husband of woman in viral racist tirade video gives different side of story on what happened


https://www.fox10phoenix.com/news/husband-of-woman-in-viral-racist-tirade-video-gives-different-side-of-s


Bob Harrian, who is the husband of the woman in the now-notorious video, offered an explanation on what happened.

Harrian said for over a year, his wife has developed paranoia and signs of fabrication following a break-in incident, and it has been happening in front of family members, friends, and members of their local church. The level of paranoia has also created episodes of mental health concerns.

Harrian said he has tried to get treatment for his wife, but has failed at doing so. He said he was astounded by the video, but also said this might be the proof that he needs to explain to his wife that she can be a detriment to herself.

****
I knew a psychotically paranoid woman, and I think that this is important context.

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Husband of woman in viral racist tirade video gives different side of story on what happened (Original Post) Beakybird Jun 2020 OP
This bothers me. OAITW r.2.0 Jun 2020 #1
I think the initial reaction was understandable ahimsa Jun 2020 #5
That's the point. OAITW r.2.0 Jun 2020 #8
He needs to keep her off the street if this is true because... brush Jun 2020 #33
Poor man! I hope they are both able to get the help they need. (nt) scarletwoman Jun 2020 #2
Well, the woman did lie and pretend to be the store owner/manager dalton99a Jun 2020 #3
And she assaulted that young lady before she was retaliated on. brush Jun 2020 #34
A lawyer that did not know how to get his wife help for a year. Okey Dokey tulipsandroses Jun 2020 #4
He knows family law: dalton99a Jun 2020 #6
I was not suggesting the kind of law he practiced is a factor in knowing about civil commitment tulipsandroses Jun 2020 #21
The standard for commitment is very high OrwellwasRight Jun 2020 #7
That depends on how convicing someone is. Jamastiene Jun 2020 #35
It is not that easy. My youngest has suffered from depression going on four years...it is Demsrule86 Jun 2020 #9
I'm so sorry for the nightmare you are living through MaryMagdaline Jun 2020 #12
I am sorry you and your family are having such a hard time. I work within the system tulipsandroses Jun 2020 #19
Thanks Demsrule Nt okaawhatever Jun 2020 #58
Not as easy as you think hardluck Jun 2020 #17
I am sorry for the challenges you and your family are having. tulipsandroses Jun 2020 #24
Have you ever tried to use those? dsc Jun 2020 #47
Yes. Personally and Professionally tulipsandroses Jun 2020 #55
You don't know how hard it is to get help cally Jun 2020 #49
Yes we all know the mental health system is broken. tulipsandroses Jun 2020 #56
If you pose a physical danger to yourself or others. Very difficult. Beakybird Jun 2020 #10
This story has a fishy smell to it. Nevilledog Jun 2020 #11
He's a lawyer and is setting up her defense... 2naSalit Jun 2020 #13
And if she's such a loose cannon why is she working at his law firm? Nevilledog Jun 2020 #16
She might be relatively high functioning and have unexpected episodes. Beakybird Jun 2020 #18
Either way... 2naSalit Jun 2020 #43
This message was self-deleted by its author Mosby Jun 2020 #23
I think you may be right. backscatter712 Jun 2020 #30
He's a lawyer ducking a lawsuit himself, perhaps? Duppers Jun 2020 #48
No doubt. Nevilledog Jun 2020 #54
Crazy crap, isn't it. nt Duppers Jun 2020 #59
I feel bad for the husband MustLoveBeagles Jun 2020 #14
Fox News Reports Paranoia and Mental Health Concerns by Fox News Watcher Stallion Jun 2020 #15
Yeah, if they watch Fox (which is likely) there is no excuse. Beakybird Jun 2020 #20
Didn't you like the little insertion at the end? Nevilledog Jun 2020 #22
The young woman needs to sue Mrs. Harriman. Baitball Blogger Jun 2020 #31
Her husband is an attorney 2naSalit Jun 2020 #44
He knows he doesn't have a case - it's on video. backscatter712 Jun 2020 #57
I am a bit troubled by many of the above responses Thunderbeast Jun 2020 #25
I'm grateful for your insights. Beakybird Jun 2020 #27
Now Karen's on video committing assault. backscatter712 Jun 2020 #32
So why is she driving a deadly weapon ecstatic Jun 2020 #26
"Psychotically paranoid." That describes just about every racist in my community! Baitball Blogger Jun 2020 #28
I don't give a flying fuck about Karen's mental state. backscatter712 Jun 2020 #29
Beyond That... ProfessorGAC Jun 2020 #38
He's trying to save her ass. Jamastiene Jun 2020 #36
He's trying to save HIS ass. I'm sure his law practice is suffering now. Solomon Jun 2020 #39
Good point. Jamastiene Jun 2020 #40
If true, this is very sad, but at the same time it is damaging to those around her and Squinch Jun 2020 #37
Always a different side of everything on Fox stations. pwb Jun 2020 #41
A sign of the times genxlib Jun 2020 #42
No shit... 2naSalit Jun 2020 #45
Sorry. There are lots of stories. Beakybird Jun 2020 #50
If he manages to succeed, there's someone in the White House who needs the same treatment. tanyev Jun 2020 #46
There were some scary racists in the psych ward when I was a patient a couple of years ago. hunter Jun 2020 #51
I was thinking, mental illness and Fox News aren't good for each other. Beakybird Jun 2020 #52
This kind of thing cheapens the fact that there are real people with real mental illnesses out there Aristus Jun 2020 #53

OAITW r.2.0

(23,813 posts)
1. This bothers me.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 12:08 AM
Jun 2020

Some people are mentally ill and we can't tell in a 2 minute video. It's anti-social behavior, but we need to consider them as we would others who mimic our perspective and are equally uncontrollable, save for a husband or wife that has to live with this person's mental illness.

My advice look/watch, but wait and don't react until you know the entire story.

ahimsa

(426 posts)
5. I think the initial reaction was understandable
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 12:24 AM
Jun 2020

And I don’t know if we really know the “truth” yet..

Harrian said a crisis management team was at their home on Monday.

OAITW r.2.0

(23,813 posts)
8. That's the point.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 12:30 AM
Jun 2020

We don't know.

We see a video/photo - filter thru our biases and immediately create a conclusion. Win?

I think engaging without making immediate comment is always the smart tack.....

brush

(53,467 posts)
33. He needs to keep her off the street if this is true because...
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 03:02 AM
Jun 2020

she's going to get someone seriously hurt assaulting people like she did that young lady—either herself or someone else if racist cops show up and take her side.

dalton99a

(81,065 posts)
3. Well, the woman did lie and pretend to be the store owner/manager
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 12:15 AM
Jun 2020

The Trump cult tends to attract crazies


brush

(53,467 posts)
34. And she assaulted that young lady before she was retaliated on.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 03:07 AM
Jun 2020

She's a danger to herself and others.

tulipsandroses

(5,092 posts)
4. A lawyer that did not know how to get his wife help for a year. Okey Dokey
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 12:22 AM
Jun 2020

Every state has civil commitment laws.



tulipsandroses

(5,092 posts)
21. I was not suggesting the kind of law he practiced is a factor in knowing about civil commitment
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 01:12 AM
Jun 2020

As a lawyer, I imagine he has resources to healthcare. Unlike, lets say someone that works a minimum wage job.
He also said he has been trying to get her help for a year. Call me a cynic, but its hard to imagine that in calling around to get her help, that it was not suggested.

OrwellwasRight

(5,170 posts)
7. The standard for commitment is very high
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 12:29 AM
Jun 2020

If she is even marginally functional, she likely would not meet it.

Jamastiene

(38,187 posts)
35. That depends on how convicing someone is.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 03:26 AM
Jun 2020

I have never been diagnosed as anything but clinical depression and avoidant personality disorder. My mother had the cops where I live convinced along with numerous other people she was going around telling that I was paranoid schizophrenic. My therapist disagrees, but my mother still had everyone and their grandmother convinced.

The fact that I was not and am not a danger to anyone and that I could prove it is the only thing that saved my ass. She was gunning to have me committed to take control of my aunt's estate when she died and to take away everything of mine that belongs to me as well. Proving I was no danger to anyone is the only thing that saved me. She was going around making up stuff and the cops where I live are still convinced. Lucky for me, therapists/psychologists know their job better than the police and my mother know their job. My reputation will never be repaired because of my greedy mother. She is the one who spent time in a mental institution until Reagan let her out and made the rest of my childhood and adult life a living hell.

Demsrule86

(68,347 posts)
9. It is not that easy. My youngest has suffered from depression going on four years...it is
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 12:33 AM
Jun 2020

very tough to get help.They put someone in hospital for seven days usually...then meds and a release...My daughter has been in counseling of course and on a variety of meds...this year, we found a better nurse practitioner for the meds when she spent a week in hospital...and she is doing much better. She had been diagnosed incorrectly. The meds prescribed worsened her condition. We are lucky she is alive.

It has been four years. She tried to kill herself three times in four years. She overdosed on sleeping pills this last time and she tried to hang herself. in a previous attempt. The idea that you put people in hospital for enough time is wrong. It doesn't happen. It has been horrible. It is hard to find a doctor or nurse for the medicine...it is hard to find counselors. Honestly, it is a nightmare.And it is expensive. This is the first time there is light at the end of the tunnel. I tell my story because maybe it will help someone else.

tulipsandroses

(5,092 posts)
19. I am sorry you and your family are having such a hard time. I work within the system
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 01:03 AM
Jun 2020

so I understand it can be challenging. I have also had to involuntary admit family members. In no way am I saying that you put people in the hospital for long enough time. A civil commitment is usually to get an evaluation. Every state has laws on how long a person can be held for that evaluation. As far as how long you will be treated - that depends on the insurance company and how many days they are willing to pay for. Unfortunately, the way mental health is funded, no insurance means that quite often you are kept for the minimum of what the state law is.

I work in a community mental health clinic that services low income clients that come from all over the county. I would suggest that you check to see if your state has community mental health clinics. We see patients at little to no cost. Also most meds are low cost if they are on an Indigent Drug Program. Hope you find some help for your daughter.


hardluck

(634 posts)
17. Not as easy as you think
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 01:01 AM
Jun 2020

Had to go through that with my father. 15 years of trying to manage his mental illness. Even was shot by a cop in a suicide by cop thing and lived. It’s a criminal beyond a reasonable doubt standard in my state. Oh he had many 5150s, but civil commitment, nah.

I have tremendous empathy for families dealing with mental illness. So very difficult.

tulipsandroses

(5,092 posts)
24. I am sorry for the challenges you and your family are having.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 01:27 AM
Jun 2020

A 5150 is civil commitment. Known by different names depending on the state.
When I lived in GA it was 1013 - 2013 for substance abuse
Here in FL it is the Baker Act

All of these are civil commitments. There are processes to extend these commitments past the mandatory days. Whether or not that is pursued that is another story.

Managing mental illness is challenging. I know this from a professional and personal standpoint.

dsc

(52,129 posts)
47. Have you ever tried to use those?
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 08:41 AM
Jun 2020

I am not a lawyer but I have had some experience with trying this sort of thing and the standard is very, very, very hard to meet. I can easily believe that he couldn't get her committed despite being a lawyer.

tulipsandroses

(5,092 posts)
55. Yes. Personally and Professionally
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 01:16 PM
Jun 2020

I am a psych NP that has family members that have mental health issues. It is the reason I was drawn to this field.


cally

(21,589 posts)
49. You don't know how hard it is to get help
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 10:00 AM
Jun 2020

for adult family members. Our mental health system is broken. You can commit fior a few days but it will not fix long term problems. The current crisis is adding to many mental health breakdowns

tulipsandroses

(5,092 posts)
56. Yes we all know the mental health system is broken.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 01:34 PM
Jun 2020

That is a separate conversation from what seems to have happened in this case.
Civil commitment often opens the door for the person to start treatment. In no way am I suggesting that having someone involuntarily admitted, fixes a long term health issue.





Beakybird

(3,329 posts)
10. If you pose a physical danger to yourself or others. Very difficult.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 12:33 AM
Jun 2020

I watched the video and find the husband believable. Yes, he has possibly enabled her by not forcing her to get help.
It is almost impossible to get a paranoid person into treatment because they can't trust anyone. Maybe she can be treated. I'm glad she ain't in my life!

Nevilledog

(50,660 posts)
11. This story has a fishy smell to it.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 12:40 AM
Jun 2020

Saying he can't get help for her, thinks showing her the video will make a difference once she sees it? Maybe the help he's been trying is the pray it away kind.

I can't think of a single qualified therapist that would treat someone who is paranoid by showing the person a video of paranoid behavior.

Maybe I'm wrong.

2naSalit

(86,045 posts)
13. He's a lawyer and is setting up her defense...
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 12:52 AM
Jun 2020

She may be deranged but if she was that much of a problem, why was she allowed to go to a convenience store on her own?

I don't buy it, she's entitled and probably pissed her group of loudmouthed assholes is losing their grip on power over everyone else.

Beakybird

(3,329 posts)
18. She might be relatively high functioning and have unexpected episodes.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 01:02 AM
Jun 2020

If you watch the news video, the news team was able to establish that there was a crisis management team at their home.
I had more schadenfreude than anyone when that lady was slapped, but now I think that her behavior is congruent with mental illness.

2naSalit

(86,045 posts)
43. Either way...
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 08:09 AM
Jun 2020

She was inappropriately aggressive toward a stranger who actually snapped her out of it by slapping her. It wasn't like she landed on the floor, out cold, so I guess it did the trick. Perhaps the woman's instant freak out was more a recognition of an episode and that she suddenly came to her senses. Whatever it was, the response by the recipient was justified.

Everyone asks what's wrong with this woman, I guess we know now.

Hope she gets the help she needs.

Response to 2naSalit (Reply #13)

backscatter712

(26,355 posts)
30. I think you may be right.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 02:48 AM
Jun 2020

Since racism seems to be the topic of the day, probably a good idea to mention that every time a Black person or Latinx person does something antisocial, everyone declares them to be a "criminal" or "thug".

But this lady's white, so now everyone's crying "Oh, she's ill, she didn't really mean that, she just needs a little help, that's all."

Fucking bullshit. If she's smart enough to do everyday things like pumping gas and the like, she should know to keep her fucking racist mouth shut.

Duppers

(28,094 posts)
48. He's a lawyer ducking a lawsuit himself, perhaps?
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 09:33 AM
Jun 2020

Creative storytelling & feigning remorse, perhaps?

Sniff, sniff.

Nevilledog

(50,660 posts)
54. No doubt.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 01:10 PM
Jun 2020

I was just so offended that the husband of this woman was asked if he was gonna sure the victim of his wife's behavior.

MustLoveBeagles

(11,563 posts)
14. I feel bad for the husband
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 12:54 AM
Jun 2020

Hopefully this is the catalyst that convinces his wife to seek help.

Edit: Please note that I'm not excusing her behavior. She could still be a RW asshole but also have mental issues stemming from the break in.

Nevilledog

(50,660 posts)
22. Didn't you like the little insertion at the end?
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 01:19 AM
Jun 2020

Harriman is not going to sue the young lady who slapped his wife?

Why the Fuck would that even be a thought? His wife grabbed the young lady first!

How about pressing charges against or suing Mrs. Harriman????

That was offensive.

Baitball Blogger

(46,573 posts)
31. The young woman needs to sue Mrs. Harriman.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 02:49 AM
Jun 2020

I've met others like her in my life. They are usually enabled by their family members. In this case, her husband is a lawyer and realizes that they can get sued.

2naSalit

(86,045 posts)
44. Her husband is an attorney
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 08:12 AM
Jun 2020

and I guess she works for him so I'm thinking their defense is her having an illness... I mean, maybe she broke a nail...

backscatter712

(26,355 posts)
57. He knows he doesn't have a case - it's on video.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 01:46 PM
Jun 2020

Karen grabbed the woman first, and only after that happened did she react by smacking her.

Karen committed assault and battery, and the Latina woman has a clear-cut case of self-defense.

Besides, what damage was done? A slightly red face? She gave her a love-tap.

Thunderbeast

(3,377 posts)
25. I am a bit troubled by many of the above responses
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 01:28 AM
Jun 2020

Involuntary Civil Commitment is not an option. Beyond a possible 72 hour hold, unless a person agrees to voluntary treatment, there is no forcing any behavior on another person. Those who say the husband "enabled" the behavior by "not forcing her" into treatment simply do not understand the law. Anasognosia masks awareness of these difficulties, and leaves the person incapable of making sound decisions...yet their rights to chart their own paths, no matter how destructive, are inviolate.

He can potentially help her by getting help himself in communicating clear boundaries while changing his own responses to the outbursts. Mental illness is a disease suffered by the entire family. It has never generated the sympathy is garnered by those suffering from cancer, but the devastation of brain and behavior disorders destroys relationships, and is a massive drain on the economy.

Treatment should carry no stigma...but sadly, it carries shame and blame.

Beakybird

(3,329 posts)
27. I'm grateful for your insights.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 02:21 AM
Jun 2020

I started sleeping with a roommate, and after a month, she started exhibiting paranoia. She had confided in me previously that she had been sexually abused by her father. I ended up having a codependent relationship, trying to get her help. Finally, I saw a therapist, and I finally terminated the relationship when she started showing up at my place of work.

backscatter712

(26,355 posts)
32. Now Karen's on video committing assault.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 02:51 AM
Jun 2020

If the woman she assaulted decided to press charges, it may very well be the court ordering her to therapy. That sort of thing tends to become conditions of probation for those in the criminal justice system for crimes like assault.

ecstatic

(32,566 posts)
26. So why is she driving a deadly weapon
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 01:28 AM
Jun 2020

if she's essentially a psycho? No offense intended, but that appears to be the condition her husband is describing.

backscatter712

(26,355 posts)
29. I don't give a flying fuck about Karen's mental state.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 02:42 AM
Jun 2020

You don't go up to a member of a minority group and tell them "Go back where you came from." She's lucky she didn't get a right hook.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. If that's upsetting, she needs to go cry to her therapist instead of hounding Latina women.

FUCK RACISTS!

ProfessorGAC

(64,413 posts)
38. Beyond That...
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 07:04 AM
Jun 2020

...when she heard the young lady speak, she should have known that she was born & raised American. She sounded like young women in 100 other parts of the country.
So, "back to your own country", reply, " Oh, you're from america." should have been the exchange.
But, racism & xenophobia are powerful motivators to find the wrong thing to do.
Mental state notwithstanding, she found the wrong thing to do, plus she got the taste slapped out of her mouth.
Paranoia or not, keep your hands to yourself!

Jamastiene

(38,187 posts)
40. Good point.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 07:42 AM
Jun 2020

That sounds right. If they advertise their bigotry, they gotta pay nowadays. It is much better than way back when, before the internet, when they could fluidly go back and forth and lie about it, like it used to be a long time ago.

Squinch

(50,773 posts)
37. If true, this is very sad, but at the same time it is damaging to those around her and
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 06:50 AM
Jun 2020

in her mental illness, she is choosing to spew hate.

This reminds me of a family member who is now deceased. She had mental illness, but the topics that she chose to display her paranoia were reflective of the beliefs she held before the mental illness got out of hand. She was always a racist. She was always narcissistic. As she aged and the mental illness got worse, it was just that there was no more filter on those things in her brain. She just wasn't able to hide her true thoughts as well, and those true thoughts were cruel and vindictive.

I hope she gets the help she needs, but at the same time, if this is the form her mental illness takes she has no business being out alone in society.

genxlib

(5,506 posts)
42. A sign of the times
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 08:04 AM
Jun 2020

This op wasn’t specific enough.

I didn’t know which racist woman in a video episode it was talking about.

There have been so many

2naSalit

(86,045 posts)
45. No shit...
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 08:19 AM
Jun 2020

Yesterday I got confused as to which asshole who drove into a crowd I was talking about.

My brain is tired. I hope the weather is nicer today so I can go out there and get some mental floss.


hunter

(38,264 posts)
51. There were some scary racists in the psych ward when I was a patient a couple of years ago.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 10:56 AM
Jun 2020

One of them attacked a member of the night staff and had to be restrained and sedated. He was spewing all sorts of racist crap.

Mentally ill people without excellent insurance and/or family support, who are at least somewhat aware of their circumstances, simply go to jail, especially if they are not white. In the U.S.A. prisons are the default providers of mental health services. I'm fortunate to have good insurance and a support system of family and friends.

My own mental illness comes with a huge side dish of paranoia and psychosis and very disturbing hallucinations, but thankfully I didn't grow up among racists; racism was not incorporated into my illness. When I go off I'm mostly a danger to myself, not others. My awareness of my own mental state is always the first thing that flies out the window.

My mind went a little sideways with adolescence. I didn't really have any self awareness of it at the time. As a young person one figures everyone perceives the world the same way they do and that somehow others are just coping with it better, maybe by ignoring the hallucinations and anxiety and depression, holding their chin up and carrying on. Sadly in our society failures to keep one's own head together are attributed to weakness or character flaws, and not brain injury or biochemical imbalances.

As a teen and young adult I got away with a lot of nonsense because I was an affable white male. When I was in college (enrolled or not) I think the local and campus police regarded me as an amusing diversion from their sordid graveyard shift duties. They'd drive or direct me home rather than the E.R. or jail. They didn't shoot me or choke me to death.

Forty years later there are meds I find helpful, but some have disagreeable side effects. I've experienced a fading of effectiveness in other meds which is never fun. I've ridden that merry-go-round.

In a rational world there wouldn't be a huge stigma attached to mental illness. It would be just another chronic medical condition like arthritis, diabetes, asthma, etc... It's very odd to me how we consider mental health (and dentistry...) as somehow distinct from other health services. In a rational world mental illness wouldn't be considered some kind of "defense" for criminal behavior. All people who are danger to others, considered mentally ill or not, would be treated kindly and humanely by the police, medical providers, prison guards and everyone else whose job it is to keep the peace.

It's intriguing to me that Trump has somehow given the racists permission to lash out. His words resonate with them. I look at Trump and see a very disturbed and disruptive individual who should not be President. He is clearly a danger to others and always has been.

Beakybird

(3,329 posts)
52. I was thinking, mental illness and Fox News aren't good for each other.
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 11:05 AM
Jun 2020

Most Fox News watchers know to keep the livelihood-destroying racist diatribe to themselves. With a mental illness, the sufferer lacks filters or might be so agitated that he/she can't help but say the racist crap that's on their mind. Or Fox News feeds into a whole matrix of psychotic conspiracy theories.

Aristus

(66,082 posts)
53. This kind of thing cheapens the fact that there are real people with real mental illnesses out there
Tue Jun 9, 2020, 11:10 AM
Jun 2020

Trying to excuse vile behavior with "she has a condition" is equally vile.

"I tried to get her some help".

How hard did you try, Skippy? Where are the after-visit summaries from behavioral health providers? Where are the prescriptions for BH medications?

Isn't even remotely possible that your wife is just a squalid, racist harridan?

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