Trump on FUX News: "What's with the phony shock? Or loser, disloyal generals? When didn't I bash

[Celerity]

agitators with shock & awe?”

Why have command over armed forces and federal marshals, tear gas and booming helicopters, if not to quell mass insurgency?

https://www.nationofchange.org/2020/06/09/trump-on-fux-news-whats-with-the-phony-shock-or-loser-disloyal-generals-when-didnt-i-bash-agitators-with-shock-awe/



President Trump is renowned for sticking to his guns and never apologizing, the rock-solid genius who nails every crisis with the same reactive media hammer. That take-no-prisoners nonchalance was on display last night on FUX News, as the president expressed bafflement his shock-jock tactics surprised anyone. Interviewed by Brawn N. Sannity, President Trump wondered why nay-saying haters, even in his own party, act like his norm-busting bravado is new. “What’s with the phony shock?” demanded the president, “Or loser, disloyal generals? When didn’t I bash all agitators with shock and awe? When thuggish rioters rule the street, you call in the military or prison riot commandos, which I did. Good message for the campaign, too. Double-down domination and we win.”

He went on, “We’ve got vicious dogs terrorizing major cities – ruining stores I ordered open for business right now. Why have command over armed forces and federal marshals, tear gas and booming helicopters, if not to quell mass insurgency? Know the difference between terrorists decoyed as protesters vs. inmates? Not all are in jail yet. My perfect gut instinct says make the harsh penalty fit the anti-American crime. Why else would I tell police to knock heads? Sure, pack grenades and chemical spray. Who cares if wimps say it’s a banned war weapon? Never forget who’s in charge. Hell, if I knew what habeas corpus meant, I’d suspender that, too.” “I forgot who said, ‘use the army you have,’ So I jailed illegals and put kids in cages. These looters remind me and my CEO buddies of Mexicans: bringing drugs, bringing crime, bringing gangs. Imagine outlaws daring to block my roads or access to my golf courses, even my emoluments, whatever they are. I’m doing a public service: looters invite shooters.”

Sannity then asked the president about racial equality. “Well, I think it’s great thanks to me. Perfect, like that Ukrainian phone call. When was there evermore freedom for poor people to serve rich people, just like the good old days? Nobody’s ever done more to the black community top to bottom than what I’ve done. Look at all those new jobs. Keeps them off the streets.” “How can someone without a racist bone dislike blacks? Sure, fear of bad Negroes put me in the White House. But I know so many good Negroes and they don’t want riots in their front yards any more than me. How about law-abiding Mexicans who clean up disgusting stuff at my resorts white guys wouldn’t touch? Hey, I can’t stand lots of white people too, especially pro-impeachment haters. So I like dominant white people who like dominant white people, many serving in the police. It’s human nature and disloyal not to stand with your own people.”

Shifting to America having to clean up the “Chinese” pandemic mess, Sannity asked why they went after the U.S., causing our world-breaking death rate. “Ask my tricky friends in China,” Trump snapped, “and why some bad, bad virus experiment conveniently went awry. The insecure have to cheat against their betters. China must have figured this modest little flu would take us down – not that it ever did. Eventually, my team and Yankee brainpower will right the ship. How sad: those who can’t beat us fair and square send bad germs – on our own planes from Europe. Very devious. Very oriental. Facedown bullies like I did with those genius tariffs. The small pain they cause is the price to pay not having “loser” stamped on your kisser. Never give a sucker – or a competitor – an even break.” “Look, the courts and the Constitution give me unlimited power, rubber-stamped by my latest attorney general, what’s his name,. He says Nixon was right: if a president does it, it’s legal. If you’ve got power, I say, flaunt it. Just compare me with that weakling Nixon, ran away, tail between his legs, terrified by the mere threat of impeachment. I crushed the impeachment farce and triumphed over backfiring Democratic schemes. We’re in the battle of our lives so I say fire the big guns. I love the batta boom batta bing of big guns! I only have big guns. And big everything else.”

snip



P.S. Disclosure: While sources verify the spirit of these comments, not every satiric word has been independently verified. Trust your gut.

[soothsayer]

1. If you just skim this, it could fool you

That’s how bad he is.

[Celerity]

2. +100000

it is why I put their disclaimer at the bottom

[quaint]

3. I believe every word

...has been in his brain, if not his mouth.

[LiberalArkie]

4. I am an aspie. I can not read or listen to his voice. My brain tries to make sense of it and it

can't and I almost go into overload.