"Dear White People: Please talk to your friends..."

[StarfishSaver]

[WhiskeyGrinder]

1. Books, articles, research papers, podcasts, TV shows, social media -- the opportunities for learning

without demanding emotional labor from another person are endless. I'd be happy to recommend something if anyone has specific questions.

[tonedevil]

2. I do make sure to put in an effort...

when I can. The continued, willful misunderstanding is exhausting for me and I am white. It is impossible for me to understand what it must be like if it is your life you are explaining.

[qwlauren35]

3. When I was 20

I believed in explaining. I spent so much time explaining.

Not so much now - 35 years later.

Now, I surround myself with people who think like me.

This is why I think it is the Youth who are the key to Creating Lasting Change.

They aren't tired.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

5. I know what you mean. But I've still got a few old friends I can work on.

I don't see them as much as I used to for reasons like I think you do. I haven't abandoned the relationships entirely though and every so often I poke them and see what's up.
It's tricky but it's probably worth it to keep kind of tossing out a lifesaver to them in case they've had some sort of epiphany I can help with.

[StarfishSaver]

8. I also don't let the fact that they may be incapable of change let them off the hook

if people are going to hold obnoxious views and support reprehensible people, they're going to at least hear about it and if nothing else, be annoyed.

[larwdem]

10. me too

I don't let them off the hook

[onecaliberal]

7. Same here tonedevil. They're just going to become belligerent.

[JI7]

4. Whenever people ask what they can say or do for the black community

I always think the best they can do is talk to their own people and to tell them not to be racist, just be decent.

[Karadeniz]

6. I've tried...hard to reason with opinions based on fear.

[StarfishSaver]

11. If you can't reason with them, why should we be expected to?

Yet black people are expected to do so much explaining - to change hearts and minds - and do it in language and tone that never offend or make white people in any way uncomfortable. And if we don't, WE are blamed for the racial "divide."

It's exhausting.

We need white people's help if things are going to change, and not just when it's easy.

[ibegurpard]

9. All my friends agree with me

I don't associate with people who argue that systemic racism is not a problem.

[StarfishSaver]

12. We need you to talk to people who don't agree with you

That's the point. We can't do it all ourselves.