A Question for White Folks.

[qwlauren35]

My sister posted an image in Facebook.

Allies: instead of trying to make a difference in our communities, try to make a difference in your own communities.

Michelle Obama talked about this. It is actually EASIER to protest, than it is to confront a bigot in your own family or sphere, or maybe even your job if that is safe, or just in public when you see something happen, and try to help him or her see that they need to make changes. Not just point out that they are being racist, but explain it to them, and show them that it is wrong, and help them see that they are part of the problem.

My question - can you? Will you?

14 votes, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
	There is no one in my family or circle of friends who is racist, so I have no one to talk to about racism and white privilege.
	0 (0%)
	If there is someone in my family who is racist, I don't speak to them. It would be a waste of time to talk to them about race and white privilege.
	2 (14%)
	If there is someone in my circle of friends who is racist, I steer clear of the subject. I would not be comfortable trying to change their views.
	1 (7%)
	If there is someone at my job who is racist, there is nothing I can do about it.
	0 (0%)
	If I saw a confrontation between a black person and white person, I would not make assumptions that it's a racial problem.
	1 (7%)
	In some situations, I can see myself getting involved, for example, if I saw an inappropriate interaction.
	0 (0%)
	In some situations, I can see myself saying something to a co-worker who makes a racist remark.
	0 (0%)
	In some situations, I can see myself saying something to a friend or family member who makes a racist remark.
	2 (14%)
	In every possible situation, if I see racism, I will try to create positive change.
	6 (43%)
	I'm not the kind of person who likes confrontation, and talking to people about race is nearly always a confrontation.
	2 (14%)
	0 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided.
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[StarfishSaver]

1. Thank you for this

It's very interesting and insightful. I look forward to the responses...

[qwlauren35]

3. I am guessing but...

I think a lot of the white people on DU are:

- overwhelmed by "all" of the threads about race (maybe 5-10% of what is posted is too much for them)
- tired of "all" of the threads about race because they already get it, and there's nothing more to learn
- tired of "all" of the threads about race because "it has nothing to do with them".
- annoyed by "all" of the threads about race because it has nothing to do with the Democratic Party and electing Biden

And a handful, a small handful, are willing to engage.

We shall see.

[StarfishSaver]

4. That sounds about right

And don't forget my favorite: "you're being divisive."

You may even get a visit from someone telling you to "give it a rest."

[Kaleva]

2. I have no friends by choice and I avoid confrontation with family members

[Bettie]

5. I will talk to people who are

able to accept and integrate new information.

My two brothers are lost causes, I'm female and thus stupid (they have told me that they know that I'm not all that bright and can't understand the complexities of their Trump-loving selves). I don't bother with them. There is no hope for either of them.

I also avoid them. They are unpleasant and have views that I will never agree with.

I have a few acquaintances like that as well.

I have known people who I was able to reason with and have done so.

[hlthe2b]

6. I'd like to see a follow-up poll for those who have attempted to do so in the past...

as to whether they were able to effect meaningful change or merely cause the individual to defensively entrench in their views/behavior and whether the relationship was severed or otherwise negatively impacted for the long term. My experience has been the latter--along with seething resentment that unfortunately impacts and sometimes results in poisoning of many of the common family/friend relationships for months and years thereafter...

I do take it as a given that others might have more effective means of conveying such messaging than I. Regardless, I don't remain silent, but my experience is that one doesn't attempt to "teach" adults appropriate behavior in this regard unless you are fully ready to sever the relationship.

[qwlauren35]

9. I just wanted to respond.

I don't have an easy answer for this reality.

I have always said that we just have to wait for them to die off, but somehow, they keep spawning new ones.

I think you can open the question with "Why". And ask "Is there anything I could say that would ever change your mind". And those are relatively non-threatening openers.

But again, only white people can talk to other white people in such a way that the immediate reality of two people of different races would not be present.

We really can't do this without you.

Think about it this way. Hitler managed to take over Germany with a small minority of committed, and minority of "able to be negatively influenced" and a large majority of "just go along". As a result, at least 6 million people died. They took over France. BUT! There were dedicated, determined French people who formed a Resistance. Put their lives on the line. They probably had to hide their activities from friends and family who were not supportive. But they took action. And then there were a handful of people in Germany who created an underground for Jews to hide or get away. They risked their lives. Because they truly believed from deep inside of themselves, that what was happening was wrong.

If there were more people in Germany who stood up and protected the Jews, Hitler could not have taken over Germany. But for a lot of people, it was just too risky.

You have decided that preserving friendships and family relationships is more important that trying to eradicate racism. Especially, if you are sure that there is absolutely no way to reach a racist, and help them let go of some of their views.

As a white person, that is your right... and your privilege.

[hlthe2b]

11. I have decided No such thing. Please do not put words in my mouth.

And, you ignore the impact of leading by example. I believe that is among the most effective ways people of any race can make an impact. And, that is increasingly happening and should not be discounted.

Really. It should NOT be discounted.

[Skittles]

7. I don't let ANYONE get away with racist crap

I call it out EVERY TIME.

[ibegurpard]

8. My circle has decreased drastically in the past four years

I simply refuse to associate with people who espouse outright or even casual racism any longer. I used to be able to compartmentalize it somewhat but 2016 fried my filters.
I don't get out much so don't see it in public and have totally dropped social media.

[irisblue]

10. Kick

[qwlauren35]

12. Thank you all

For your honesty.

As Michelle said - it is harder to try to change the people in white communities, than to "try to do some good" in black communities.

What black people need most are JOBS, and that is the purview of the 1%, and usually not the ordinary Joe and Jane. NOTHING makes as big of a difference in our communities than well-paying jobs, and decent paying jobs for high school students and high school graduates. Keep in mind - when unemployment rates go down in general, they are worse for us, when unemployment recedes, it is not as fast for us. Given a white and black person with equal credentials, even criminal records, the white person almost always gets the job. That's part of the racism.

So, changing white people's attitudes is a part of how we get jobs. It's an example of why it is so important that white attitudes change. Changing white people's attitudes about our financial responsibility is how we get business loans and mortgages. Right now, blacks are less likely to get loans, even with comparable credit. It's an example of why it is so important that white attitudes change.

There are so many reasons why white racist attitudes keep us down. There are so many reasons why racism hurts us. And police brutality is ONE OF THEM, but now that we are finally having this conversation, we can talk about how racism has to be eradicated in order for the MAJORITY (not just a handful) of black people to succeed including average black Joe and Jane, based on the numbers.

For 150 years, we have had to work twice as hard to get half as far. It gets tiring.

[irisblue]

13. Kick

[ananda]

14. My style is probably too confrontational...

... but I do speak out every time someone shows
racism/bigotry.

[hunter]

15. The overtly racist among my family, friends and acquaintances are all dead.