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leftyladyfrommo

(18,815 posts)
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 08:05 PM Jun 2020

These are really hard times for some older people.

I am in a group for over 70 women. So many are getting really depressed. They can't go out because they are high risk. Many live alone. And some have spouses in care homes. They can only go and see them through the window.

Having a pet really helps.

Many have just lost spouses and are still grieving and feeling very alone. And this is making it so much worse.

Some of these people are just going to give up. I feel so badly for them. They can't go to senior activities or church like they normally would. They can't see their families and grandchildren.

It's scary.

72 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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These are really hard times for some older people. (Original Post) leftyladyfrommo Jun 2020 OP
Yes it is scary. It helps if they can get into a project. Frustratedlady Jun 2020 #1
Great post malaise Jun 2020 #5
Weekly FaceTime is wonderful! OhNo-Really Jun 2020 #11
You are one busy person. Good for you. Frustratedlady Jun 2020 #13
Copy that! We can, we must do this...as examples to our families at the very least OhNo-Really Jun 2020 #36
WOW! Those are great. Frustratedlady Jun 2020 #38
Lots of YouTube instructions OhNo-Really Jun 2020 #46
Oh, this is fascinating. Not so much the preparation, but the actual pour. Frustratedlady Jun 2020 #57
Under $100 to start. OhNo-Really Jun 2020 #63
I was busy most of the day, but will get into this over the weekend. Frustratedlady Jun 2020 #66
You're welcome OhNo-Really Jun 2020 #68
What to do? You need to have an art show, lady! These are fabulous!!!❤ Karadeniz Jun 2020 #54
Your nice. I'm just an untrained amateur. OhNo-Really Jun 2020 #60
Exercise works wonders. Go walking/hiking/jogging/biking. all good triron Jun 2020 #69
I dance at home. Lifts my spirits OhNo-Really Jun 2020 #70
Genealogy is good indeed, as are virtual gatherings GeoWilliam750 Jun 2020 #14
And, the drinks don't have to be virtual. ooky Jun 2020 #32
yep NJCher Jun 2020 #16
Those are good ideas. I will pass those on leftyladyfrommo Jun 2020 #2
Find a teletherapist? SheltieLover Jun 2020 #21
Clinical depression, even mild, seems likely for many. Hortensis Jun 2020 #41
Are there any groups in your community reaching out to seniors? tanyev Jun 2020 #3
Many of my clients are in that age group and in similar situations herding cats Jun 2020 #4
These are the times that try men's souls. leftyladyfrommo Jun 2020 #6
I can sympathize with them. patphil Jun 2020 #7
if you or an older family member is lonely, Google "senior loneliness line" and your state renate Jun 2020 #8
Will check it out. Thank you leftyladyfrommo Jun 2020 #10
I am 78 Frances Jun 2020 #9
I have to do a lot of Zoom for work NJCher Jun 2020 #19
Great idea! SheltieLover Jun 2020 #22
That sounds great Frances Awsi Dooger Jun 2020 #40
I'm out here on Gilligan's island 5 miles from town in the Bitterroot. Ford_Prefect Jun 2020 #12
Maybe we need a Pandemic Survival group. Frustratedlady Jun 2020 #18
I'm hoping that the end will be in sight early next year DesertRat Jun 2020 #53
If we just got people to use the mask without making it a political/religious/lifestyle statement. Ford_Prefect Jun 2020 #55
I went to my beauty shop, today. It was my second trip in over 4 months only because they promised Frustratedlady Jun 2020 #67
I remember one of your posts a couple of weeks ago panader0 Jun 2020 #15
Oh my. I thought all seniors were supposed to give up and die from the virus. Sorry to say japple Jun 2020 #17
I think your idea could be adapted NJCher Jun 2020 #24
Connect with your local shelter MomInTheCrowd Jun 2020 #20
Fostering or adopting an animal really is wonderful DesertRat Jun 2020 #52
Yale is offering free "Science of Well Being" course SheltieLover Jun 2020 #23
that professor NJCher Jun 2020 #29
Awesome! SheltieLover Jun 2020 #30
Thanks for that info. Here's the link without all the tracking info: erronis Jun 2020 #45
Thank you! hermetic Jun 2020 #50
Thank you! SheltieLover Jun 2020 #51
I did too! :) Made my morning brighter than it has been in months :) chia Jun 2020 #59
Yaaaaay! SheltieLover Jun 2020 #65
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I've enrolled in the course and spent a lovely morning chia Jun 2020 #58
I Started Calling Single Female Friends McKim Jun 2020 #25
If we had a DECENT fking leader, we would have funded outreach programs! Maru Kitteh Jun 2020 #26
If we had a decent leader SheltieLover Jun 2020 #31
It's true. My dear mother's depression is now suicidal. aikoaiko Jun 2020 #27
It is difficult when your spouse goes before you...as though part of you died, as well. Frustratedlady Jun 2020 #39
As someone dealing with elderly parents who are going stir-crazy, I can assure you TomSlick Jun 2020 #28
When being interviewed about getting older, pazzyanne Jun 2020 #47
Not without some risk, but certainly worth consideration . . . . . Stinky The Clown Jun 2020 #33
I think that's NJCher Jun 2020 #34
A plus side to the sad reality that many elderly people have Hortensis Jun 2020 #42
Not seeing an end in sight is one of the hard parts of this. ooky Jun 2020 #35
It's been hard on both my father and myself not being able to see one another. Dial H For Hero Jun 2020 #37
Same here, parents are just going nuts this year ansible Jun 2020 #43
These protests have made my fear worse. leftyladyfrommo Jun 2020 #44
I don't find it scary DarleenMB Jun 2020 #48
I have an older friend in this age group still mourning the loss of her husband a few months ago dlk Jun 2020 #49
Others have recommended virtual meetings with friends, children, and grandchildren. Lonestarblue Jun 2020 #56
Ideas from seniors I know Arazi Jun 2020 #61
best advice Skittles Jun 2020 #62
Im there for you, my friend. tavernier Jun 2020 #64
I'm one of them. greymattermom Jun 2020 #71
It is so hard and scary locks Jun 2020 #72

Frustratedlady

(16,254 posts)
1. Yes it is scary. It helps if they can get into a project.
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 08:18 PM
Jun 2020

Since we are pretty well closed off from society, we almost have to get something going like going through old photos and writing a note on the back as to date, occasion, age of children, etc. Not only will this help family members when you are gone, but it brings back a lot of memories. Working on family history is another project that is beyond valuable. Personal stories about ancestors make the history more interesting and you can find so much online to help with dates, names and places.

Joining a system like Ancestry is also a help. Once you start entering data, they might be able to tag onto someone else's family history that will fill in holes in yours. Your children may not be that interested in it now, but they will certainly appreciate your efforts in later life. It is also a good source for health issues children and grandchildren may run into.

Learning to cook new dishes or bake bread, desserts, etc., can also take your mind off the pandemic and other issues. Sharing your new dishes will perk up friends and family members.

There are so many projects that can help. As an elderly woman myself, I have self-quarantined (on my 19th week) and feel fortunate that I have avoided the dreaded virus, so far. It would be a death sentence for me. That gives me the gumption to achieve my goal of staying alive, even if I have to talk to myself to have a conversation.

OhNo-Really

(3,985 posts)
11. Weekly FaceTime is wonderful!
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 09:47 PM
Jun 2020

I’m calling a spade a shovel.

Isolation SUCKS PICKLES.

The thought of gasping for air for a few weeks and maybe having the heart explode or suffocate is motivation enough to keep me at home and

Counting my blessings.

Gratitude exercises helps the most when feeling blue.

Even this happy home body used to be able to mix it up on an occasional shopping trip chatting up fellow shoppers & familiar employees.

Now so alone.

Let’s not discount how much this sucks but, you are right. We have to fight the good fight and reach out to others and NOT allow ourselves to sink into an abyss of despair. And if you do, call a friend.

Call someone.

I garden & paint now. Shoot for 10k steps a day.

CALL a friend before sinking.

Genealogy done ✅
Poetry Anthology done ✅
8 years investigative reporting done ✅
Learn to draw ✅
Learn to watercolor ✅
Read a zillion + books ✅
Gardening planted ✅
International cooking ✅
Own businesses ✅
Make photo history of family done ✅

It’s been a wonderful life. So many chapters.

Call someone 📱

Frustratedlady

(16,254 posts)
13. You are one busy person. Good for you.
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 10:00 PM
Jun 2020

I wanted to get back into oil painting, but moved and haven't located my supplies. They are somewhere around here. Grandma Moses, I'm not, but I had fun messing with oils. I also have a ton of flowers around, although I can't do the planting, I can fertilize and make sure the deer don't make a meal out of them.

Hang in there! Determination and stubbornness will get us through all this.

OhNo-Really

(3,985 posts)
36. Copy that! We can, we must do this...as examples to our families at the very least
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 01:29 AM
Jun 2020

Ugh. The move! Double ugh The missing stuff

I hope you get back to painting

I really like ordering from. DickBlick online. Always quality, great customer service

I’ve been playing with acrylic fluid art. Inexpensive & can complete in short order

No preconceived notion about outcome. Just dancing with paint













It’s an encompassing catharsis. Feel better after a session. I now have hundreds. What will I do with them all?

Frustratedlady

(16,254 posts)
38. WOW! Those are great.
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 02:39 AM
Jun 2020

Maybe you'll become an artist in great demand! I can see how much fun they must be to do. I've always threatened to get a bunch of different colors of paint and throw at a canvas to see what happens.

OhNo-Really

(3,985 posts)
46. Lots of YouTube instructions
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 10:02 AM
Jun 2020

But this is an inexpensive beginning tutorial. The key is quality paint.




Also this Australian is a hoot to watch. She always cheers me up when the isolation leaves me feeling quasi-catatonic at night




Acrylics dry so quickly, the possibilities are endless.

If you decide to give it a go, I can share my inexpensive set up & save your tons.

New day.

We can do this.
✨✨💕✨✨



Frustratedlady

(16,254 posts)
57. Oh, this is fascinating. Not so much the preparation, but the actual pour.
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 05:11 PM
Jun 2020

I will definitely be interested in doing this, but I will need to know the addy for paint and equipment. If I can figure it out, maybe I can make some Christmas gifts for the kids and grandkids.

Is that a special blower or a hair blower?

Thank you so much for showing me this concept. I'd never heard of it. I did a lot of knife painting with oils, which was fun. I got into tole painting, which I loved but this really piqued my interest.

What would you guess would be the investment to start out?

OhNo-Really

(3,985 posts)
63. Under $100 to start.
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 07:49 PM
Jun 2020

Have you shopped at DickBlick online?

Start with inexpensive paint - Artist loft
Paint From Michaels mixed with Floetrol From Home Depot.

Black white red blue yellow and gold

Buy a box of 8 x 8 tiles, cheaper & better product for beginners

From the pet store, buy a big pack of puppy pee pads for quick clean up

This is messy

Plastic cups 3 ounce & 8 Oz

Distilled water

I bought a washing machine tray at Home Depot or Lowe’s which I encase in a 55 gal clear trash bag which I then line with the pee pads.


If you want to do just water & paint then use Amsterdam. Here’s video to get you started. Molly is awesome! I’m chemically sensitive so I resonate with the “paint & water” and “paint floetrol water” recipes. As you pop around YouTube you will find people using silicon(not necessary) minu-was, polyurethane etc. Too toxic for me.

Oh almost forgot. The Butane torch & blow dryer. Will send pics soon.



https://www.dickblick.com/products/amsterdam-standard-series-acrylics/

Here’s Rinske. She only uses water & Amsterdam




Frustratedlady

(16,254 posts)
66. I was busy most of the day, but will get into this over the weekend.
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 10:21 PM
Jun 2020

Thank you for all that information. I am truly interested in starting this method, but will have to figure out where. I'm not supposed to go up and down the steps, but have two rooms in the basement that would be perfect and both have huge tables. Hmmm. Maybe I can figure something out.

I will go with your suggestions on buying the supplies. Thank you so much for taking the time to help me.

OhNo-Really

(3,985 posts)
68. You're welcome
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 11:03 PM
Jun 2020

Let me know when you need more detail. I’ve seen people do this on their kitchen counters but have to hold a canvas or cardboard backdrop when using blower (you make the oh darn I just spattered my entire ..... once)😂

It’s helpful to have a sink for clean up.

You can DM me. I will try to remember to log on to DU. I often don’t. It’s gardening season.

Have a good weekend

OhNo-Really

(3,985 posts)
60. Your nice. I'm just an untrained amateur.
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 07:28 PM
Jun 2020

Thank you for the encouragement. I just repaired my studio after months of neglect

Oddly, this is an emotional process and ....well, you know!

Onwars

triron

(21,915 posts)
69. Exercise works wonders. Go walking/hiking/jogging/biking. all good
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 11:11 PM
Jun 2020

Do indoor exercise regime every other day. Dance a little (at home).

OhNo-Really

(3,985 posts)
70. I dance at home. Lifts my spirits
Sat Jun 13, 2020, 11:32 AM
Jun 2020

I’ve lost 20 pounds (quit smoking weight gain) since last August dancing, marching in place while watching TV, and walking

All indoors. I’m 72. Of course I also watch my calories.

FitBit 3 is your friend! I can see my heart rate timing to ensure cardio minutes.

One more size to go.

GeoWilliam750

(2,519 posts)
14. Genealogy is good indeed, as are virtual gatherings
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 10:06 PM
Jun 2020

Although it is not possible to go on the road to research, there is much that can be done online.

Also, while I am conflicted on genetic genealogy, one might be surprised at how many new relatives you find - but one must be very careful with this because there is a significant possibility of finding relatives you did not know you had.

Virtual gatherings of a few people seem to be very good - zoom, facetime, or whatever. It is surprising how much there is to talk about with old friends, and the nice thing about virtual drinks is that there is no need of a designated driver (input from a close friend ).

leftyladyfrommo

(18,815 posts)
2. Those are good ideas. I will pass those on
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 08:30 PM
Jun 2020

I think some of these people are really getting clinically depressed. But where do you go for help during a pandemic? Even I am afraid to go to the Dr's. Office.

It sounds like Xanax is being handed out like candy and that's not good.

Being all alone for months is not good for older people.

Hortensis

(58,785 posts)
41. Clinical depression, even mild, seems likely for many.
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 05:13 AM
Jun 2020

Most will have PCPs, and most of those likely would feel they know them well enough to prescribe remotely. All can call and discuss their problem and whether trying medication might help.

All these suggestions for developing an interest are very good for those who just need to get going again to perk themselves up, but depression doesn't exactly manifest as enthusiastic energy looking for an outlet.

tanyev

(42,358 posts)
3. Are there any groups in your community reaching out to seniors?
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 08:43 PM
Jun 2020

This is happening near me.

In Plano, there are two groups working to reach senior citizens isolated to their homes. Gordon has helped organize a program called Members Assisting Plano. The program at first was designed to help the senior populations within the police alumni association, but then they decided to expand. With this program, seniors can have groceries or other things delivered to their doorstep through a volunteer.

Brent Bloechle is a Library Manager with the city of Plano and is now helping organize Senior Care Calls, where library staff routinely call senior citizens and check on them during isolation.

Seniors voluntarily sign up for the Senior Care Calls program or a relative has signed up for them.

"The goal is to give them a social outlet and to chat about something they enjoy chatting about," Bloechle said.

The simple task of chatting with someone means connecting, and that is what Brent is hoping happens with each phone call. The group has connected with 64 seniors so far and hopes to expand that number.

https://www.wfaa.com/article/news/local/two-plano-programs-meant-to-connect-with-senior-population-in-isolation/287-a9ba8d06-47df-44ea-9021-9e54b5fb598d

herding cats

(19,549 posts)
4. Many of my clients are in that age group and in similar situations
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 08:49 PM
Jun 2020

When I speak to them on the phone I make it a point to ask how they're managing and spend some time chatting with them.

It deeply hurts my heart to hear their stories of isolation and heartache.

patphil

(6,029 posts)
7. I can sympathize with them.
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 09:01 PM
Jun 2020

My wife and I are in our 70's, but at least we have each other and a daughter we talk with daily.
My sister is in her mid 80's, and she has 3 children locally.
However many are alone and don't have anyone to act as support.
It's really hard for them.
As things start to open up it will get better, but the fear of isolation will remain with them for quite some time.
We need to carry each other anyway we can.

renate

(13,776 posts)
8. if you or an older family member is lonely, Google "senior loneliness line" and your state
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 09:02 PM
Jun 2020

I don't know whether all 50 states have warmlines for seniors, but many do, in association with suicide/crisis hotlines.

In my state, you used to be able to request a regular check-in call. Crisis lines are swamped these days, so I don't know whether scheduled calls are still possible, or how much time a volunteer has per call right now. But it's a nice start.

Frances

(8,531 posts)
9. I am 78
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 09:23 PM
Jun 2020

And I am taking 3 classes from my senior center on Zoom.
There are two monthly senior center Zoom chat groups as well.
If the seniors you know have an iPad or computer, maybe you can find local Zoom activities.
My neighbor does exercise from someone on YouTube, but Local Zoom is better because you get to know the group if you didn’t already know them
Another friend from Maryland watches Sunday church services at the National Cathedral but I don’t know what app she is using.
And another friend in Virginia plays bridge with her senior center bridge group online
Of course, online isn’t as good as real life but it helps

NJCher

(35,425 posts)
19. I have to do a lot of Zoom for work
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 10:47 PM
Jun 2020

and I think it's great!

For example, I am on the executive committee for my local of the teacher's union. It took about a month to six weeks, but I started missing my fellow committee members. Even one who used to get on my nerves. However, once we started meeting with Zoom on a regular basis, I quit missing them so much.

It's not quite as good--for example, we used to love to go to a particular restaurant together--but it's pretty close.

 

Awsi Dooger

(14,565 posts)
40. That sounds great Frances
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 04:13 AM
Jun 2020

My aunt is almost 78 and very active. She still cuts the grass of her huge lawn. That lawn dates to the late 1930s when my grandfather built the home. The other day my aunt asked me to help her pick out paint for a small addition she recently had constructed. When I told her when I was available to paint she scoffed at me. "I'm going to do it. You sleep too late." Ha ha. Okay.

I remember you were one of the first posters who greeted me when I joined this site in 2002. Much appreciated. But you weren't thrilled with my gambling background. No apologies on that one. Part of the handicapping emphasis led to Apple stock. I remember arguing in favor of Apple stock here in 2002 and 2003 while many others particularly in The Lounge were mocking the company as nothing but overpriced hardware. It's not looking good for them.

Ford_Prefect

(7,821 posts)
12. I'm out here on Gilligan's island 5 miles from town in the Bitterroot.
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 10:00 PM
Jun 2020

I have my cat and my brother here and my sister across the pasture... And with all that I still feel like my life essentially ended when we went to lockdown. My daily job was 45 miles away. My social connections are in there too. I haven't seen anyone from there since mid-march: None of my friends, nor the people I worked with, nor any of our customers, nor the people I danced with or celebrated with, nor the people I shared hope and ideas with. At 67 years I'm finding it difficult to imagine how this gets better soon enough to matter.

It is almost as if they died, or I did, that last day. I cannot go out as I am diabetic and likely not to survive exposure. I miss my life and my friends terribly. It is almost like the time after my wife died: I was left with nothing to do and no one to do it for.

The women you describe must feel that same detached, disconnection from most of what makes their lives meaningful. They must also feel that helplessness to do anything that will matter to change or improve this situation. They most certainly feel that sense of being surrounded by the invisible threat which can be anywhere even among those you trust and care for.

It is enough to make you wonder about why you wake up and breathe, or dress for the day when no one will see you. With no clear end in reasonable sight and 2 years or so best estimate to a medical response that will make it safe to go out again, and no particular life to live in the meantime, being alive and so alone does not seem like a good thing. As a human being in need of ordinary companionship and interaction face to face, if not closer, I find that the will to live is a touch and go thing some days. The idea that I will lose 2 years of my life due to this situation, that life will of necessity be radically different once we get through, and at a point where each day could be among the last I get to enjoy or possible see let alone how many friends and acquaintances I will miss or lose while in isolation.

I can feel some of what those women must also be going through if at one remove. My brother is here and my cat. I don't worry about whether I'll have food. I have DU for an outlet. But the idea that this may not end for over 2 years is at times overwhelming my spirit. I feel for those women who have to stay alone, who must look through the glass rather than hug or hold hands with friends and those they love, who cannot participate together with others in even the most ordinary ways. That indeed is a terrible loss.

Donald Trump and the entire GOP, from the local dog catcher to the County council to the legislature and the congress have so very much to answer for. We owe those who cannot collect that debt to ensure it is paid in full.

Frustratedlady

(16,254 posts)
18. Maybe we need a Pandemic Survival group.
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 10:33 PM
Jun 2020

A place where those of us confined can gather each day and post something of interest to the group. I'm sure we all do silly things we can laugh about, or need to brag about our grandkids or pets. It would be a good way to lift spirits, offer encouragement or give help for that once in a lifetime problem that pops up from time to time.

We've been confronted with an unusual situation, as if old age isn't enough to cope with, and as a member of DU, I think it would be something to look forward to each day to see how others are doing...what's new, or what kind of project others are working on. Expand our horizons...limited though they might be.

It doesn't take too many words to bring joy to others. Sure beats being down in the dumps.

DesertRat

(27,995 posts)
53. I'm hoping that the end will be in sight early next year
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 03:22 PM
Jun 2020

Even if we don't have a vaccine next year, I think that we'll have more readily available testing and therapeutics which will enable us to get back to a somewhat normal life again.

Fingers crossed.

Ford_Prefect

(7,821 posts)
55. If we just got people to use the mask without making it a political/religious/lifestyle statement.
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 03:54 PM
Jun 2020

I am SO sick of Cowboy wannabees saying no one tells them what to do. You feel like slapping them or knuckling them on the noggin like you might a child who has gone over into ugly behavior and needs to understand what's up. Something to get their attention at least. Polite and persuasive won't cut through the BS with this bunch and it is not my intention to let fools like that bring my life to an end through their selfish behavior.

Frustratedlady

(16,254 posts)
67. I went to my beauty shop, today. It was my second trip in over 4 months only because they promised
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 10:46 PM
Jun 2020

everyone would be wearing masks and they cleansed everything after each customer. Since they only have two operators, I took a chance, mainly because my hair had grown so long, I hardly recognized myself.

Anyway, my beautician knew how I felt about the virus. Her mother and I are around the same age and her mother is scared of contracting it. She moved a chair into the kitchen area at the back of the shop just for her older customers because the owner and her customers were not wearing masks. I didn't bring that fact up until today when I questioned what the regulations were for beauty shops. She said it was "suggested" they wear masks, but they didn't have to. I registered a complaint and told her that if one of their customers came down with the virus, the word would spread quickly and that would be the end of their business. She is trying to make things safe, but the owner really pisses me off with her arrogance about wearing masks. We'll see what the situation is if and when I go back. I have been a customer for over 20 years, so I hope they change their ways on this pandemic. It isn't worth it to be so reluctant to do such a simple thing as wearing a mask. Grow up!

panader0

(25,816 posts)
15. I remember one of your posts a couple of weeks ago
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 10:15 PM
Jun 2020

when you described your isolation and feelings of anxiety. I hope you feel better.
For me, I have been fairly isolated for years and don't mind too much. Occasional dinner out,
or breakfast. My social life was playing music with my friends. I sit in the band room alone now and
remember. It makes me nuts, but I am still holding out, for four months now, trying to be patient.
We'll make it through if we are patient.

japple

(9,773 posts)
17. Oh my. I thought all seniors were supposed to give up and die from the virus. Sorry to say
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 10:24 PM
Jun 2020

that I am still alive. So happy to see that you and your sisters are trying to maintain your equilibrium.

Have you tried connecting with a pet rescue to see if you could set up a fostering program. There are so many cats & kittens in my area that need socialization and baby kittens that need bottle feeding. This is one of the most satisfying activities I have ever been involved with.

I am sure these folks are grieving the loss of contact with their loved ones. If they could at least have a little animal to connect with, it might help.

NJCher

(35,425 posts)
24. I think your idea could be adapted
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 11:04 PM
Jun 2020

to plants, too.

What about a gardening group that meets via Zoom once a week to discuss plants and gardening?

I might call the senior services person at my town tomorrow (assuming she hasn't been laid off, which is entirely possible) to see if I can get something like that going. I would lead the gardening groups and get plants to the people who are interested in doing some gardening this summer, even if it is just container gardening.

I already lead one group like this, but it's not seniors. It's a school-related gardening group.

I love love love your fostering cats/kittens idea. I can see where that would really be gratifying and perform a useful service as well.

MomInTheCrowd

(262 posts)
20. Connect with your local shelter
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 10:49 PM
Jun 2020

If possible! If you can foster an animal it would be wonderful. Kittens are usually easy, puppies more poopy, older dogs really need a friend

DesertRat

(27,995 posts)
52. Fostering or adopting an animal really is wonderful
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 03:05 PM
Jun 2020

You're never alone when you have a pet to love and care for. Welcome to DU!

NJCher

(35,425 posts)
29. that professor
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 11:54 PM
Jun 2020

is kind of famous for teaching that course. I've see her on CBS Sunday Morning and also the nightly news. Didn't know about this course offering; thanks!

hermetic

(8,258 posts)
50. Thank you!
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 01:26 PM
Jun 2020

I just spent the past couple of hours completing the first week of this course. I feel better already! Really. I am getting to be so full of anger and absolute hatred at what's going on and I'm one of the older folks here, living in fear for my life.
I have the feeling this course is going to be quite beneficial to my state of mind. So I am much obliged.

SheltieLover

(57,073 posts)
51. Thank you!
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 01:37 PM
Jun 2020

You just made my day!

I am so happy go know you are enjoying the course and that you are benefiting from it! 😁👍

They feed off of our fear...this is the opposite! (And I do know what you mean about fearing for your life. I'm there, too!)

Fear isthe opposite of love.

chia

(2,235 posts)
58. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I've enrolled in the course and spent a lovely morning
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 05:55 PM
Jun 2020

completing the first week's modules, downloading the "rewirement" tracking booklet, watching the videos, following resource links, and taking quizzes to gauge my level of happiness (it's quite a low number haha but that's okay) and the quiz evaluating my character strengths. I was surprised and quite blown away that my no. 1 character strength is 'love.' I'm kind of okay with that too.

Anyway, thank you so very much, I love, love learning and I needed something like this today, you gave a gift to who knows how many people who read your post, I hope you have a very wonderful rest of the day.

P.S. - for anyone interested in taking the quizzes, here are direct links:

PERMA Profiler (Positive emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Accomplishment)

https://yalesurvey.ca1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_dmWAB2LoFzOk25n?user_id=00010989d339a45c6d0a94ecaec908d231afed1f

Authentic Happiness Survey

https://yalesurvey.ca1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3sHNmRsXIeYAZCJ?user_id=00010989d339a45c6d0a94ecaec908d231afed1f

The VIA Character Strengths Survey

https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/register



McKim

(2,412 posts)
25. I Started Calling Single Female Friends
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 11:05 PM
Jun 2020

I started calling single female friends early on and making it a habit. I help them by taking their stuff to goodwill to donate, sending photos, little gifts or bringing an occasional dessert. Also I am a resource for where to shop on line or safely at hardware stores and plant nurseries. I love the idea of a Pandemic Survivor Group here at DU. It is time to practice radical love for our single friends.

Maru Kitteh

(28,303 posts)
26. If we had a DECENT fking leader, we would have funded outreach programs!
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 11:14 PM
Jun 2020

There ARE creative things that can be done to help alleviate the terrible isolation and loneliness hurting so many - but FIRST, our "leaders" in the federal government would have to give a shit.

As a nurse I help facilitate remote visits almost every day I work. And then I cry on my way home.

To Trump, anyone in a care home, hospital, rehab center etc. is seen as a weak and unworthy person. I'll bet you anything that deep down inside that SOB doesn't actually believe he's going to die someday.


I need a drink.


aikoaiko

(34,127 posts)
27. It's true. My dear mother's depression is now suicidal.
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 11:16 PM
Jun 2020

Her assisted living home got her to a behavioral health hospital and she is safe, but she is in a dark, dark place.

Her husband, my dad, died within the year, she's fallen twice and needed surgeries, and the covid quarantines just broke her.

Frustratedlady

(16,254 posts)
39. It is difficult when your spouse goes before you...as though part of you died, as well.
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 02:50 AM
Jun 2020

I hope she is able to climb out of the darkness. It is possible.

TomSlick

(11,033 posts)
28. As someone dealing with elderly parents who are going stir-crazy, I can assure you
Thu Jun 11, 2020, 11:31 PM
Jun 2020

getting old is not for for the faint of heart.

pazzyanne

(6,518 posts)
47. When being interviewed about getting older,
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 10:07 AM
Jun 2020

Bette Davis said, "Getting old ain't no place for sissies." That was one of my grandmother's favorite quotes for sharing.

Stinky The Clown

(67,676 posts)
33. Not without some risk, but certainly worth consideration . . . . .
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 12:19 AM
Jun 2020

. . . . . is to form small groups of trusted friends, stay safe outside the group, and come together much like family, without social distancing. Visit each other. Share meals. Watch TV together. Provide for each other. Fashion the group as you see fit. All older women. Maybe older couples. Form the group with great care. Limit the group's size.

NJCher

(35,425 posts)
34. I think that's
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 12:41 AM
Jun 2020

one of the things people can do at a certain stage of the pandemic. There's a term for it--maybe it's bubble. Not sure. Anyway, the idea is to have groups where people are certain that others haven't been compromised, much like you've described in your post.

Anyway, we won't even get to that because the republicans have messed this up so bad by rushing "reopenings" before the numbers for each stage is met. I don't see why, however, people who are certain of their companions couldn't go ahead and do it on their own. Trust will be the biggest factor.

Hortensis

(58,785 posts)
42. A plus side to the sad reality that many elderly people have
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 05:43 AM
Jun 2020

no family, either at all or physically in their lives, is that that would make them good candidates for safe "bubble" groups.

What's needed for formation of social groups is, as always, take-charge types getting the idea and contacting a few friends and neighbors to discuss. Social media, such as NextDoor, can be a fantastic facilitator for those who need to make new connections.

Our daughter in Arkansas and her family have formed a younger, less impermeable bubble of a few families whose kids are on teams or were in classes together. All the parents believe in the importance of, and practice, social distancing. One neighbor who wanted to join unfortunately won't wear a mask, seemingly forbidden by her religion or something

ooky

(8,885 posts)
35. Not seeing an end in sight is one of the hard parts of this.
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 12:56 AM
Jun 2020

I think my biggest fear is if there is no cure or vaccine before my time is up. But I'm not in control of that so I do what I can do, which is mainly social distancing and using the video technology to maintain connectivity with the family. I think anybody not seeing families and grandchildren shouldn't have to accept that and instead should try to do the social distancing and make use of video technologies if at all possible.

 

Dial H For Hero

(2,971 posts)
37. It's been hard on both my father and myself not being able to see one another.
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 01:33 AM
Jun 2020

There's now talk of going to Phase 2 in Colorado and allowing some visitations, given that the situation in nursing homes has been improving for some weeks now.

 

ansible

(1,718 posts)
43. Same here, parents are just going nuts this year
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 05:49 AM
Jun 2020

The relentless, neverending bad news for 2020 is just tipping them both to their breaking point. Especially my dad who I have to keep away from the news now because he almost had a heart attack once while going off about Trump. I fear what November will bring.

leftyladyfrommo

(18,815 posts)
44. These protests have made my fear worse.
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 07:11 AM
Jun 2020

I fully support the protesters but I am anxious about their affect on Covid 19. Us old folks will be the ones taking the brunt of all that.

I plan to stay safe for as long as it takes.

DarleenMB

(408 posts)
48. I don't find it scary
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 12:01 PM
Jun 2020

so much as I find it lonely. Yes, I'm in that group. 73 and lost my husband 10-18. We had no children. Closest family is over 300 miles away in Colorado. My sister (70) is dealing with her husbands failing mental health. He has been diabetic for 30 years and is now suffering increasing dementia. Her son lives in London but her daughter is only about 40 miles away.

I have my 3 cats and no nearby neighbors.

I have been in therapy, off and on, for several years. Thank god for my therapist who held my hand for several months when Joe died. I "see" her (via Zoom these days) every other week. She has been SUCH a help through all of this. And yeah, she's the same age as I am so she "gets" it as well.

I have a close friend who checks in via tweets every morning and every evening. I appreciate that more than I can say. She started doing that when Joe died and has continued ever since.

I also connected with a former high school classmate via FB. turns out we're practically "twins." LOL. We both wish we had sought each other out in high school. But better late than never.

If your friends aren't on social media, it's a good venue to feel connected. Their messaging service now includes video conferencing and they've just added "rooms." So much easier than Zoom for the computer challenged.

dlk

(11,433 posts)
49. I have an older friend in this age group still mourning the loss of her husband a few months ago
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 01:05 PM
Jun 2020

As could be expected, she struggles with the loss of her companion of over 60 years, as well as the isolation in staying alone her home and social distancing. We text every day and talk on the phone frequently. She’s a feisty Democrat and very involved in politics and our phone conversations are never less than an hour or two. She has a lot to say. I’m fortunate to still be working Andrew sometimes I wouldn’t mind a shorter conversation. However, I understand how important social connections are for all of us and I truly enjoy her input and perspective on current events. I would encourage anyone who knows someone in a similar circumstance to reach out by phone to connect now and then. It makes an enormous difference.

Lonestarblue

(9,880 posts)
56. Others have recommended virtual meetings with friends, children, and grandchildren.
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 04:54 PM
Jun 2020

I also do virtual meetings for exercise like yoga. We’re a group who knows each other so we gather online a few minutes early and chat. It’s a great boost to see familiar faces and to keep exercising, also important to mental and physical health.

Arazi

(6,829 posts)
61. Ideas from seniors I know
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 07:38 PM
Jun 2020

1. Take yourself on a car ride. Just getting out of your home helps.

2. Take walks if physically able

3. Zoom meetings with family, friends, and therapists

4. New hobby - any new hobby. Knitting, new instrument, art, exercise group. One of my friends joined a murder mystery group called Dear Sherlock - you get 4 letters/month with clues to solve a mystery. The mystery answer is provided at the end of each month, then a new mystery is started. There's online groups too

5. My friends meet for outdoor conversations - well spaced, wearing masks. Outdoors is looking to be a very safe space.

Hang in there

Skittles

(152,964 posts)
62. best advice
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 07:41 PM
Jun 2020

LEARN TO ENJOY YOUR OWN COMPANY

so many people get so used to having people around they are lost when they are alone

tavernier

(12,322 posts)
64. Im there for you, my friend.
Fri Jun 12, 2020, 07:55 PM
Jun 2020

I’m 73. Next to my Publix is a CVS that I go to which is mostly empty because no one wants to shop at multiple stores. Wear a mask,of course. Lots of food and etc.

Do you have a produce market close by? Usually early in the morning you can get your fruits and vegetables there. If you give them a really good tip, they will wait for you and guide you through you can get whatever you need for a really good price.

I have found some of the dollar stores like family Dollar or Dollar General have frozen food and refrigerated foods and some of them are actually much better than what you find in a grocery store and noticed many people shop in there especially if you go in to one of the stores that is in a low traffic area.

Do you have a picnic areas somewhere close to you? My friends and I, several girlfriends of the same age like to meet at picnic tables with proper isolation, and sit and enjoy our afternoons. Usually they don’t encourage alcoholic beverages but we do bring in our own containers of beverages such as vodka or whiskey or whatever in the mix. And everybody brings in a little bit of a snack.

Be creative and don’t worry about all the other shit. We are old but we still enjoy your friends and are fun and if they want to arrest us, yay for them.

Pardon any grammatical errors because I am reading this into my iPhone



greymattermom

(5,751 posts)
71. I'm one of them.
Sun Jun 14, 2020, 02:11 PM
Jun 2020

My husband was in an assisted living facility near our son's house. He went to the emergency room for some digestion issues and ended up being diagnosed with a brain tumor. Now, he has to go live his last days with my son because no visitors are allowed in any skilled nursing location in Ohio. I've been giving our daughter her shots for IVF and can't go to Ohio yet, but will in a few weeks. If all goes well with the embryo transfer, she will come with me so I can continue as the shot giver. His illness occurred during the time his assisted living facility was locked down with no visitors allowed.

locks

(2,012 posts)
72. It is so hard and scary
Sun Jun 14, 2020, 10:33 PM
Jun 2020

but every day I try to be thankful that I may have saved someone from suffering or dying by following the guidelines.

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