I had to leave the next day on business. I watched the whole thing reported on CNN. It was awful. To watch this on national TV and see people I knew personally, see places I have walked, and gone to visit, to watch the memorials and marches and not be able to participate.
But it was so bad for so many involved. The EMT's that went in to extract the victims ended up with PTSD. The sheriffs that went in to try to get people out, only to find so many dead. They heard the phones of the victims ringing and vibrating as loved ones tried to contact them. Some are triggered to this day at the sound of a cell phone ringtone.
And then there were the "helpers", the people that tried to counsel and support the survivors and family members. It went on for months. They worked 7 days a week for months, often deep into the night.
I will say, the nation came to us. The hospital where most of the victim were taken had posters from hospitals all over the nation expressing support, often with individual messages written on them from staff. Broadway came down to support the helpers and try to give them support. The Tony awards all had ribbons on and several statements of solidarity were expressed.
And maybe the most extraordinary thing was the pastor from Utah that challenged his parishioners, and Christians in general, when he spoke of how he felt when he first heard, and then how he felt when he heard it was basically a gay bar, and he was embarrassed.
But the absolute worst thing is the survivors and their families themselves. The pain goes on forever. It is made worse by watching the world move on. Another mass shooting that diminishes the attention to this one. The first birthday that goes by. The first Christmas. And watching the children of friends and family grow and get to go to school, get that first job, get married, and just have a life. The pain gets revisted over and over and never really stops.
And yet MSD happened, and Vegas happened, and nothing has really changed. As we move forward with BLM, the latest idea forming here is that Black LGBTQ lives matter and they'll never be helped until Black Lives matter.
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