"I don't want your sympathy. I want you to explain why you're treating my son differently"

[StarfishSaver]

Link to tweet

This breaks my heart.

It's not just shooting and brutality and name-calling. Society damages our black children in so many ways, chipping away at them a little at a time every day. I hope this mother's strength and fearlessness helps to countermand the daily humiliations her son is subjected to in today's America.

“To separate [black schoolchildren] from others of similar age and qualifications solely because of their race generates a feeling of inferiority as to their status in the community that may affect their hearts and minds in a way unlikely ever to be undone.” Earl Warren, Brown v. Board of Education, 1954

[uponit7771]

1. K&R, Some people aren't even interested in how they look to the outside !! He could've just looked

... at the white kids dress and said sorry you're correct they're both dressed similar enough and let them in!!

Just damn

[madaboutharry]

2. I have never been in a restaurant where anyone cared what children were wearing.

There was absolutely nothing wrong with the way that little boy was dressed. He was dressed like any other child his age.

Something is up with this manager.

[Cirque du So-What]

4. Ex-manager, so I heard.

Which would be the correct outcome.

[wnylib]

40. Officially, he is suspended.

If he was following company racist policy, he might threaten to speak up rather than be thrown under the bus. So chances are that he will be transferred, or allowed to resign with glowing references. Or offered a position with another company in the conglomerate.

[StarfishSaver]

43. His determination to dig in his heels suggests to me he was following company policy

and was afraid to budge for some reason.

Otherwise, it would have been very easy to just say, "You're right. We did make an exception for that family, so we'll make an exception for you. In the future, however, please know, that we do have a strict policy about athletic wear. Please follow me to your table."

[wnylib]

48. Agree. But he is also responsible

for accepting the policy and continuing to work there. He could ignore racist instructions, openly refuse to follow them, or get another job. Following instructions and staying on the job makes him just as responsible and accountable as company management. Only someone who agrees with or enables discrimination could accept that environment to work in.

[StarfishSaver]

51. Definitely!

[IcyPeas]

13. they have changed their stupid dress code now

Atlas said they are immediately changing their policy so that children ages 12 and under who are accompanied by an adult are not subject to the dress code.

(from the linked article in Balt. Sun)

[exboyfil]

17. It is the dress code

and selective enforcement. I think the manager was just doing what he was told to do.

The funny thing is an Air Jordan t-shirt is not athletic wear. I would think it would be something like a sports jersey. I wonder why the restaurant would care anyway (actually I think I do know).

[StarfishSaver]

21. If he was told to selectively enforce the dress code, the restaurant has bigger problems than

one stupid manager.

[exboyfil]

22. I think it was nudge nudge wink wink kind of communication

If he was fired, the family should see if he would like to be a witness for them in a civil trial.

Probably the best thing they could have done was film for a week the customers going into the establishment that did not conform to the dress code before making the controversy public.

[StarfishSaver]

23. Why do they need to go through that much trouble

The video showing in real time the little white boy dressed just like her son said everything that needed to be said.

[exboyfil]

24. Build a case for selective enforcement

The more examples you show the court, the better chance of winning. They already have a great case with the one kid - I was talking about making it stronger.

Also a return engagement in the attire identical to the one of the prior patrons seated would add even more strength to such a case.

[StarfishSaver]

27. That shoudn't be the responsibility of this mother

She has all she needs to prove selective enforcement if she wants to sue for discrimination. She doesn't need to prove a larger pattern and practice and doing so wouldn't make her case any stronger.

If someone wants to bring a bigger case involving the restaurant's practices and how it impacts a group, someone else can bring a class action. She doesn't need that to prove her case if she decides to sue.

It's hard enough having to navigate this crap and just get through the day and raise children who aren't traumatized without having to also turn into a private eye to gather evidence about discrimination that she already documented.

[erronis]

38. Agree. The manager looked to be a scared young white guy trying to follow some boss's orders.

The fault lies up the chain - to the owner of this restaurant (part of the Atlas Restaurant Group - owns lots of them), and to the systemic sea of racism that these actions swim in.

[Politicub]

34. Please don't try to paper over what was happening there.

It was discrimination. Period. Who cares who told the manager to do something? He looked another way when the white boy was allowed to dine there.

[wnylib]

44. Of course it was discrimination.

That's clear in the video.

But I don't see why pointing out that it goes farther than that location's manager would be papering over the incident. On the contrary, it points out that racist discrimination permeates the company and that its employees accept it and comply with it.

The manager could have refused to carry out such a policy. He didn't. So he is responsible for his own actions and for condoning racism by working for such a company.

[Caliman73]

3. Ridiculous.

If there is a dress code, then it should be VERY CLEAR and posted prominently. It should also be applied equitably.

There was little difference in the way the White kid and Black kid were dressed except the White kid's t-shirt was solid and the Black kid had Jordan on his.

The staff member couldn't even explain it, mainly because it seems that the major difference was the not their clothes but their skin color.

Jackass.

[StarfishSaver]

5. And the condescension

"I understand you're UPSET ..." because SHE's the problem.

She's overreacting
She's too sensitive
She's making it about race
She's too agresssive
She's awfully confrontational
She's really emotional

No, dude. You just got caught denying service to a black child on the pretext that he was doing something that obviously does not apply to white children. And instead of realizing you had done that and correcting yourself, you doubled down and tried to gaslight the mother who caught you dead to rights.

The first alternative would have allowed us to assume that you were engaging in unconscious bias. The course you chose revealed you're just a racist.

[greenjar_01]

8. Well said

[Caliman73]

11. Exactly. You can actually see the process unfold.

We all have bias. We are all taught to discriminate against people who aren't "like us". Many of us learn to challenge those biases and the messages we grew up with. We may still carry them, but we fight them and CHOOSE to act differently.


That asshole just went with every disgusting instinct and tried to make it the woman's and child's problem.

[Johnny2X2X]

19. They didn't even think to check the 2 white kids

There was zero consideration to the white children dressing the exact same way! None, nor should there have been. What is wrong with people? And instead of just saying, "Oh, OK, you're right, I'm sorry, please follow me to your table" the manager is so dumb that he doesn't realize he needs to back down. He's just an idiot. And the black kid was singled out for his race, anyone can see that.

[exboyfil]

18. It wasn't solid

It had a silkscreen of some sort of cartoon character on the front. There is no difference in either shirt except the restaurant apparently likes Pokemon (or whatever that was) and not Jordan.

[Bluepinky]

6. Give the kid a break, let them in.

[greenjar_01]

7. Those children were dressed in exactly the same style

Why this bozo decided to dig in his heels on this rather than just let them in is, perhaps, not a mystery, but it is thoroughly mystifying. "That t-shirt is not the kind we view as athletic." What in holy hell? Pretty much 90 out of 100 8-13 year old boys are dressed that way. I mean, what the absolute fuck.

[StarfishSaver]

12. This is the kind of thing black people are subjected to every single day

But when we talk about it, we're usually told we're overreacting or there must have been some other reason unrelated to race.

Fortunately, technology has allowed people to see what's really happening.

Although it is depressing that it takes video proof for white people to believe us.

[lunasun]

28. +1000 . Hard to say oh you probably were mistaken now that they see it themselves not just hear i

about it.
Now all of a sudden due to cell phones it’s all real.
Surprise!

It is yes. So why didn’t they ever believe us and always have an excuse or deflection ready for those other white people’s actions, including those who often defended other white people they didn’t even know “because that just doesn’t sound right” ?

We know it wasn’t right - that was the whole purpose of sharing what happened !!

Unfortunately technology doesn’t share it all so the level and many different ways it occurs is still not understood by many even if they care

[sanatanadharma]

50. Yes, it is good that we see, but people still deny and ignore

It is to the good that the colorless, like me, see these viral moments of "Black Like Me" life.

I am so saddened that the moral-ethical truth of the sin of bombs, dogs, water cannons, clubs and hate seen on my black & white TV, decades ago and in decades since, have failed to open all hearts within our families, friends, neighbors and selves.

Open hearts, minds will follow!
Listen first, smile second, speak last.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

15. It's not about the shirt.

[greenjar_01]

20. Thank you

I know that.

[BusyBeingBest]

53. Yeah, it's possible he never saw the other child until she pointed it out to him--

he was outside and all. Once she pointed it out though, he should have said, oops, never mind, no dress code today. I don't actually have a problem with the dress code, they can do whatever they want in their business, but the selective enforcement sucks.

[LanternWaste]

55. Same way I feel about people rationalizing a lack of dignity for the dead,

"I mean, what the absolute fuck..."

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

9. It was a little kid, FFS.

It's stupid to enforce such a strict dress code for a child in the first place, but it sure does look like the manager was more flexible about what the white kid was wearing. Jeez, people can be ridiculous sometimes.

[IcyPeas]

10. restaurant is Ouzo Bay and is getting walloped on yelp.

Hours after the video was posted, Atlas Restaurant Group, which owns Ouzo Bay, condemned the incident, saying they were “sickened” to see the video. The restaurant also said the manager shown in the video denying the mother and son service has been placed on “indefinite leave.”

[StarfishSaver]

16. Apparently, this is nothing new

There are several older reviews from before this incident in which black patrons said they were denied service because of a "dress code."

Nice they got caught out.

[malaise]

14. Racists will be racists n/t

[LiberalArkie]

30. He has been to some business school. He wasn't talking like some uneducated worker.

[ornotna]

25. JFC

I just wanted to punch that smarmy fuck in the gut. What an asshole.

[Hermit-The-Prog]

26. I hate to click on these things because I know they will ooze hypocrisy and evil.

That asshole tries to blow off and rationalize the disparity all the way through.

Hope a lawyer sees this and springs into action.

[BamaRefugee]

29. "You're welcome to pick up some food at the little window in the back marked 'COLORED'".

[titanicdave]

31. .....WTF???

.....This brings back memories of my time in the U S Army during Viet Nam and I was stationed at a now defunct post in Alabama and before the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was passed.......my best friend in the Army was an African American, and when we went into town to get a hamburger, he'd have to sit in the car and wait while I went in and ordered the burgers and we ate in the car......it appears that things have not changed very much in the past 60 or so years !!!!......DAMN !!!!

[Politicub]

32. This disgusts me to no end

The family that was discriminated against should be able to sue the restaurant for all it is worth.

[ismnotwasm]

33. Jesus.

That motherfucker couldn’t even answer the question, even though the Mom stayed on point

[erronis]

35. This only became a big story and the parent company apologized because of the video and social media

Otherwise they would have just blown it off, perhaps with some $5 coupons for the family's next meal.

People taking photos/videos/audio of encounters like this and posting them will get some of the wrongs righted.

As long as the corporate owners of the internet allow us to do so.

[Quixote1818]

36. He was worthless. I would have asked for the manager. nt

[StarfishSaver]

37. I think he WAS the manager

[PurgedVoter]

39. correct response to the Atlas Restaurant Group and Ouzo Bay should be something like this:

Dear quite probably all white sirs, management and owners of the Atlas Restaurant Group and Ouzo Bay, we have become concerned about the environment expected and allowed at your establishments.

Due to these concerns, the moment your board and management demographics are proportional to national averages, then we will consider that your company might be responsible enough to prepare and handle food. Till then we cannot consider your corporation one that might error in the direction of compassion. Without some evidence of compassion we have no reason to trust that you will place human health and well being over momentary market pressures. As your company is a business in the business of making profit we realize it is only the fear of loosing customers that keeps you from causing massive food poisoning by neglectful care and purchasing the absolutely cheapest available materials to cook.

If, after seeing the racial proportion of your company shift and seeing that the relative pay over your entire corporation does not show a race or gender bias, we will then consider that it might be possible that you could be trusted to prepare food for our children and ourselves.

On a side note, inform your staff that when a minority whips out a cell phone, they should immediately check to see if they have a soul.

[tblue37]

41. Could you explain it for us deafies? Thanks. nt

[StarfishSaver]

45. Sure

The restaurant manager told this woman that she and her son couldn't eat there because he violated the dress code prohibiting "athletic wear." - he had on a t-shirt, shorts and sneakers. She then showed him a little white boy just finishing up lunch with his family who was dressed exactly like her son.

The manager wouldn't budge. He kept insisting that her son was dressed differently than the white boy - kept saying he had on "athletic shorts"and the white boy didn't. But you can see on the video that the two boys were dressed just.

The mother kept saying, "Why are you treating my son differently" and the manager got very condescending, telling her "I understand you're upset." She told him, calmly, "I'm not upset. I just want to know why you're treating my son differently.

[tblue37]

47. Thanks! nt

[jaxexpat]

42. The most insidious thing about this, the most disturbing...........

Is that the "race enforcer" wasn't a loud mouth lout. That would be someone you could see put down, justice served and it's settled. But no.
It was a mealy mouthed fidgeting nerd type who may well be so emotionally screwed up from a life of being the last picked at every dodge ball team that he was actually doing all he could to keep the excitement at using his "authorit-eye" from showing in his business slacks. He may not need to torture the neighbors' cats for days.
It was an episode of systemic racism. Polite, calm and almost decorous. Blind and faceless. "inconsequential" and no real bother or loud scene. The kind that enjoys tacit and unwitting support from all us "not-prejudiced" citizens.

[StarfishSaver]

46. Exactly

The kind of guy that people will defend and say, "He's NOT racist!" because he wasn't, as you say, "a loud mouth lout." Too many people think that racism manifests itself only in verbal assaults and the n-word. But this is a perfect example of the kind of racism we face every day. And when we try to draw attention to it, we're treated like we're crazy or overreacting.

[jorgevlorgan]

49. I would like to see an update on this.

[Bettie]

52. The white kid was dressed the very same

way. Ridiculous. Should not have happened.

[Hav]

54. It wasn't even as if the clothes looked as if he came from the playground after hours of playing

Shirt, shorts and shoes looked absolutely great so it's even more understandable to be upset about this. It's the inequality that is so infuriating and as others have pointed out, the clothes weren't the problem, they were the excuse.

[Blue Owl]

56. K&R