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Rhiannon12866

(258,814 posts)
Tue Jun 23, 2020, 09:07 PM Jun 2020

Trump Offers Stimulus Checks to Anyone Willing to Come to His Next Rally

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Borowitz Report)—Hoping to avert another debacle like the one at his rally in Tulsa, Donald J. Trump said on Tuesday that he was offering economic-stimulus checks to anyone willing to come to his next rally, in Arizona.

Displaying a sample check in the Oval Office, Trump said that he hoped eventually to put millions of unemployed Americans back to work as full-time audience members at his rallies.

“The dishonest media are saying that people wouldn’t go to one of my rallies if I paid them,” Trump said. “Well, we’ll see about that.”

Larry Kudlow, Trump’s economic adviser, said that the twelve-hundred-dollar stimulus checks would be paid “in installments, based on how long the recipients actually stay at the rally.”

“If you walk out after the first hour, you only get six hundred,” he said. “You’re really going to have to earn the full twelve hundred.”


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-offers-stimulus-checks-to-anyone-willing-to-come-to-his-next-rally



Photograph by Jabin Botsford / The Washington Post / Getty

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Trump Offers Stimulus Checks to Anyone Willing to Come to His Next Rally (Original Post) Rhiannon12866 Jun 2020 OP
This message was self-deleted by its author Firestorm49 Jun 2020 #1
For once I figured out it was satire before looking at the link. Nevilledog Jun 2020 #2
To tell you the truth malaise Jun 2020 #3
I've learned to look at the link before I read. Nevilledog Jun 2020 #4
I wasn't sure when I read the headline malaise Jun 2020 #5
Borowitz deserves a raise. Nevilledog Jun 2020 #6
Mnuchin will take care of it,... just use taxpayer money,... magicarpet Jun 2020 #7
I love Borowitz but I wouldn't want to have his job. Girard442 Jun 2020 #8

Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Nevilledog

(55,137 posts)
4. I've learned to look at the link before I read.
Tue Jun 23, 2020, 09:23 PM
Jun 2020

Saves me from massive blood pressure spikes!

Nevilledog

(55,137 posts)
6. Borowitz deserves a raise.
Tue Jun 23, 2020, 09:25 PM
Jun 2020

It's gotta be really difficult to come up with satire these days.

magicarpet

(19,416 posts)
7. Mnuchin will take care of it,... just use taxpayer money,...
Tue Jun 23, 2020, 10:01 PM
Jun 2020

...to reward the Nazi Rally attendees.

Girard442

(6,917 posts)
8. I love Borowitz but I wouldn't want to have his job.
Tue Jun 23, 2020, 10:12 PM
Jun 2020

Constantly having to come up with stuff more absurd than reality must be a strain.

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