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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsA History of 2020 So Far. No wonder I'm so damned tired!
Maybe you haven't been paying attention. There's been a whole lot of INSANE stuff in 2020 that would overwhelm ANYONE: A history of 2020 so far... 😆 Copied: Author is unknown...and hilarious! 🤣
Dear Diary 2020 Edition
In January, Australia caught on fire. I dont even know if that fire was put out, because we straight up almost went to war with Iran. We might actually still be almost at war with them. I dont know because Jen Aniston and Brad Pitt spoke to one another at an awards show and everyone flipped the f**k out, but then Netflix released Cheer and everyone fell in love with Jerry 😍, but then there was a thing happening in China, then Prince Harry and Megan peaced out of the Royal family, and there was the whole impeachment trial, and then corona virus showed up in the US officially, but then Kobe died and UK peaced out of the European Union.
In February, Iowa crapped itself with the caucus results and the president was acquitted and the Speaker of the House took ten years to rip up a speech, but then the WHO decided to give this virus a name, COVID-19, which confused some really important people in charge of, like, our lives, into thinking there were 18 other versions before it, but then Harvey Weinstein was found guilty, and Americans started asking if Corona beer was safe to drink, and everyone on Facebook became a doctor who just knew the flu like killed way more people than COVID 1 through 18.
In March, shit hit the fan. Warren dropped out of the presidential race and Sanders was like Bernie or bust, but then Italy shut its whole ass down, and then COVID Not 1 through 18 officially become what everyone already realized, a pandemic and then a nationwide state of emergency was declared in US, but it didnt really change anything, so everyone was confused or thought it was still just a flu, but then COVID Not 18 was like yall not taking me seriously? Im gonna infect the one celebrity everyone loves and totally infected Tom Hanks, but then the DOW took a shit on itself, and most of us still dont understand why the stock market is so important or even a thing (I still dont), but then we were all introduced to Tiger King 🐅 (Carol totally killed her husband), and Netflix was like youre welcome, and we all realized there was no way we were washing our hands enough in the first place because all of our hands are now dry and gross.
In April, Bernie finally busted himself out of the presidential race, but then NYC became the set of The Walking Dead and we learn that no one has face masks, ventilators, toilet paper, or THE GOD DAMN SWIFFER WET JET LIQUID, but then Kim Jong-Un died, but then he came back to life
or did he? Who knows, because then the Pentagon released videos of UFOs, and we were like man, its only April
.
In May, the biblical end times kicked off historical locust swarms and then we learned of murder hornets and realized that 2020 was the start of the Hunger Games but people forgot to let us know, but then people legit protested lockdown measures with AR-15s, and then sports events were cancelled everywhere, But then people all over America finally reached a breaking point with race issues and violence. There were protests in every city, but then people totes forgot about the pandemic called COVID Not One Through 18. Media struggled with how to focus on two important things at once, but then people in general struggle to focus on more than one important thing, and a dead whale was found in the middle of the Amazon rain forest after monkeys stole COVID 1 Through 19 from a lab and ran off with them, and either in May or April (no one is keeping track of time now) that a giant asteroid narrowly missed earth.
In June, science and common sense just got thrown straight out the window and somehow wearing masks became a political thing, but then a whole lot of people realized the south was actually the most unpatriotic thing ever and actually lost the civil war, and there is a large amount of people who feel that statues they dont even know the name of are needed for
history reasons, but then everyone sort of remembered there was a pandemic, but then decided that not wearing a mask was somehow a god given right (still haven't found that part in the bible or even in the constitution), but then scientists announced they found a mysterious undiscovered mass at the center of the earth, and everyone was like DONT YOU DARE TOUCH IT, but then everyone took a pause to realize that people actually believed Gone With The Wind was like non-fiction, but then it was also announced that there is a strange radio signal coming from somewhere in the universe that repeats itself every so many days, and everyone was like DONT YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE WITH IT, but then America reopened from the shut down that actually wasnt even a shut down, and so far, things have gone spectacularly not that great, but everyone is on Facebook arguing that masks kill because no one knows how breathing works, but then Florida was like hold my beer and let me show you how were number one in all things, including new Not Corona Beer Corona Virus, Trump decides now is a good time to ask the Supreme Court to shut down Obama Care because what better time to do so than in the middle of a pandemic, but then we learned there was a massive dust cloud coming straight at us from the Sahara Desert, which is totally normal, but this is 2020, so the ghost mummy thing is most likely in that dust cloud, but then I learned of meth-gators, and I'm like that is so not on my f**king 2020 Bingo card, but then we learned that the Congo's worst ever Ebola outbreak is over, and we were all like, there was an ebola outbreak that was the worst ever?
In July
. Aliens? Zeus? Asteroids? Artificial Intelligence becomes self aware?
csziggy
(34,131 posts)Wait, wut? a dead whale in the middle of the Amazon? I missed that one!
nolabear
(41,936 posts)relayerbob
(6,537 posts)Lol
stillcool
(32,626 posts)intrepidity
(7,275 posts)Bookmarking to reread many more times!
nolabear
(41,936 posts)Thats a whole lot of crazy!
Withywindle
(9,988 posts)Thank you so much for this. Definitely helps to understand why the past 6 months have felt like the longest decade of my life.
nolabear
(41,936 posts)And Im a writer! 😂
MerryBlooms
(11,757 posts)I told my best pal a couple weeks ago, if she ever again asks "What's next?", unless it pertains to food or booze, I will punch her the f-out! Then we had another beer.
Stuart G
(38,414 posts)are far too stupid to interact with.."
MrsCoffee
(5,801 posts)marlakay
(11,428 posts)To celebrate NYE and end of the year, then I wake up this morning and a friend of mine posts a article from WHO saying this might last 4-5 yrs and I just about lost it!