It's 2 am. Anyone else awake?

[leftyladyfrommo]

Fighting off depression today. It's been 4 months of being pretty much alone.

My over 70's group people sre starting to get into trouble. So many are all alone. They all kind of say the same thing. They have stuff to do but can't get motivated to do anything. They just sit or sleep.

They say they are getting old way before their time. That their old age has been stolen.

So I am reading a Harry Bosch crime novel instead ic having to look at Trump's awful face everywhere I turn. I should be able to walk tomorrow. That's good for half an hour. I have dogs to take care of.

Time marches on.

[RandySF]

1. My's anxiety's in check, but I've had a lot of insomnia since the lockdown.

[leftyladyfrommo]

4. My anxiety has been out the roof.

It was terrible yesterday. I need to get outside but it's so hot and humid I can't stay out very long

[TEB]

2. Having coffee on back porch

Enjoying the quiet

[dchill]

3. +1

[TEB]

9. I started laundry

Laundry is a constant here

[leftyladyfrommo]

5. I can't do that here. Bugs are awful.

I wush I had a screened in porch

[TEB]

7. Bugs mosquitoes blood suckers

Mosquitoes are the repigs of the insect world.

[demosincebirth]

6. I tried that - it didn't go so well. I got bitten to hell by mosquitos

[TEB]

13. Bug lotion and coffee

I hear you I hate mosquitoes they are mt bad where we live at.

[chillfactor]

8. I am up...

doing the same as you...reading my beloved mystery e-books.....reading Little House Mystery Series.....on book 2. I will be 79 in September...no family around and once good friends have become trumpsters so pretty alone now. I had a precious little Chihuahua named Fajita that was my best pal for 19 years but she recently died......and I miss her so. I live on social security so unless I can find another little lapdog for free I wil remain all alone.

[leftyladyfrommo]

12. Can you foster an older dog?

2 of my dogs are 13 and that's kind of it for border collies. I don't want a puppy because I don't want my dog to out live me. I do have 1 younger dog. But I thought I might just foster older dogs.

I would be crazy without my dogs.

[canetoad]

10. Dogs? What kind and how many?

I'm awake because it's 5.15 Friday here. Lucky enough to have a small but tight group of friends all around mid-60s. Our friendship is very much driven by out love for dogs.

Luckily there are good deserted beaches nearby and long bush tracks to walk. So we spend a couple of hours each day walking and enjoying our dogs. Something I've always done, because I dislike travelling, is to invest a lot of time and energy becoming extremely knowledgeable about my own, immediate environment; flora, fauna, geology, history. It's a tunnel well worth diving down.

[leftyladyfrommo]

14. I am a pet sitter. I have 2 dogs to take care of this

weekend. And 2 cats.

And I have 3 border collies of my own.

[TEB]

22. Three border collies

Oh my they’re must be a lot of ball throwing at your house.

[TEB]

15. Our two dogs

Are enjoying the air conditioning at moment it is 03:20 east coast America. I even turned a box fan on them our golden retriever is enjoying his floof being fluffed.

[canetoad]

17. It's winter here now, TEB

But in high summer, if I haven't turned the air-con on, whichever dogs are here will go and sit on a spot, right in front of the AC. My job is to tend to their needs.

[TEB]

19. Absolutely on tending to

Our furry friends needs. I have never been to Australia. Only Europe and Africa travels as kid in army. I meant some Australian soldiers in Israel once. Very sociable those men.

[Skittles]

11. I am always awake all night

but I am used to being alone and thrive on it.....there's nothing better than being able to enjoy your own company

[leftyladyfrommo]

16. I am used to being alone but not this alone.

I hate not being able to even be close to people.

[Blue_playwright]

35. I'm glad you're hunkered down...

... I know it’s not easy. If you’re in the Four States area, it’s good that you are. Joplin and Carthage are not doing well... 😓😷😳

[leftyladyfrommo]

37. I am in Clay County. We have 400+ right now and

going up .

I don't go out around people much but I do venture out to the store .

[leftyladyfrommo]

18. Going to try and sleep. I have to get dogs out at 5:30.

[LizBeth]

20. I have a condo and in a neighborhood and state people walk, a lot. I feel like I am yelling out at

people all day. I live alone also. I do isolation well. Today I hit the bank and they remember me so a bit of a chat, hit the dentist, more chatting and dropped my dog off at the groomer. I feel like I was busy most of the day and got my fill of people.

I am watching tiny houses now. I have had a blast with home shows and cooking shows.

I talked with a son in Austin, and a son in Minneapolis and a niece in another state. All said and done, I am doing ok.

I drove to the mountains and hiked last week.

I saved a baby fledgling blue jay from a cat and figured out how and what to feed it, then drove out to the wild life reserve an hour away and dropped off. Yea, I felt quite accomplished that day.

Tomorrow I am taking the day off, lol and sleeping in and hiding out. Shut drapes and all.

Take care of you but I hate hearing people feel like they are getting old before their time or old age is being stolen.

[Moostache]

21. I am comparatively younger than many here, but still impacted massively for sleep...

My sleep patterns have always been vulnerable and I have battled insomnia for decades, but the virus moved me into a new destructive pattern. I wake 4-5 times a night, and I am only able to get anything close to extended sleep between 5 AM and 7 AM. I usually had to be out the door by 8 AM to make it to work on time, but while I am still going in every day, my work hours have shifted to 10 AM to 7 PM as I manage a work force that is practicing split shifts and minimal on-site presence to minimize contact opportunities. Even that is beginning to crack as we have a first positive test on our workforce this week, and there will surely be more before we are forced into a full shut down later this year.

I have lost track of days of the week completely.

I no longer remember which day it is until I check my phone for potential call-ins or news on the virus. My parents survived a driving exodus from Florida back in April, but they are in bad health and advancing age and I can't go to see them or bring my kids to see them and I am in fear constantly that one or both would succumb nearly certainly if infected.

I watch the world around me going more insane by the day and I am becoming hopeless and despairing at times.

I would say there is no doubt I am suffering from some mild depression at this point, but its getting worse by the week and I look everywhere for positive affirmations and hope for a better tomorrow.

We lost my eldest daughter's graduation from college - she received a degree with honors from the University of Missouri and the momentous event and amazing achievement passed with a cake and our family at home and no more than video conference calls with our extended family. My eldest son was scheduled to have his senior year of high school this year, while one of my younger daughters was to join him as a freshman. They are losing milestones and rites of passage and relationships and friends and social development that will never be regained. Their entire generation is growing up with a massive hole in their collective experience.

I am so filled with rage at the anti-science, anti-intellectual crowd that crows about "hoaxes" and "tyranny" (as if they could actually define it or recognize it anyway). I hate Donald Trump with a depth of enmity and disgust that will never be plumbed. I literally do wish he would die every single day...I am not joking when I say I hope to read the headlines that he died in the middle of the night on the toilet while tweeting. Even RIGHT NOW, I am hoping that is happening in D.C. as I type this out.

Take heart, keep faith that even though it is always darkest before the dawn, this encompassing dread, this feeling of impending doom, this hateful season shall pass.

On a different note, I am reading more than I have in years and am about to embark on a revisit of the classics - Dickens, Thackery, Bronte, Dante, Plato, Orwell, Huxley...I have not read some of these works since I had to in high school more years ago than I care to confront. The world can fall apart without me for a bit.

Another thing that can be done, which pales next the actual tours and events, is virtual tours online. Smithsonian. Louvre. Met. and many more...If I exhaust those, I am also thinking of completing online courses from MIT, Stanford and others as well.

Depression is an insidious thing...one moment it robs you of everything and another moment it allows you glimpse a better future or a batter day or a better moment before grabbing you again. It is a very real and present threat, and to anyone else feeling it, I wish you strength, a solid sounding board and better days and better ways ahead!

[yankeepants]

29. Great post Moostache.

You captured so much of what so many are going through, myself included. It's good to know that we are not alone in this. Peace, Yankeepants

[kozar]

23. 4am and Im awake

we moved to full time camper recently and are selling our home and all in it. I paid an initiation fee to country club to play golf. until A guy in clubhouse called my hcp daughter the "R" word,,reta*** After 3 weeks I called country club and asked about my refund and was called a mofo on phone. meanwhile,Mrs K went back to sell some stuff from house and man came in and told her250 dollars for 65 inch Sharp Aquos 4k smart TVs was "too much" and cussed Mrs K .. Leftylady,,time marches on,, people seem to be devolving backwards though. I'm in my 60s,,this isn't the world we grew up in. it is to weep



Koz

[leftyladyfrommo]

33. I live in Missouri. Red Red state.

Those ugly people have always been there. It's just that Trump gave them permission to be awful. And now people have cameras so those altercations make the nightly news.

I haven't run into any ugly people. People are actually trying really hsrd to be polite. They are wearing masks



.

[duforsure]

24. Up with a severe toothache,

Waiting for 9 am appointment for a root canal this morning. Be glad to get that done and over , then I have another one to have a root canal done on but its pain free so far. Had just before this pandemic hit two filling popped out and had 1st visit to set it up but had to be canceled , and out off luck until they could reopen, and then the real pain set in. Can't take many pain meds so that's been a challenge also. I will be really upset if its called off again. I have found watching you tube video's with funny things , or just finding nature video's, or hiking video's are good to enjoy and to keep myself busy with while I've had to wait.

[Backseat Driver]

27. Oh my - so sorry to hear - toothaches are just awful!

I've been able to bear it better with some essential clove oil diluted with a bit of olive oil and apply. Hope you make it through the night and they can fix you up tomorrow.

[leftyladyfrommo]

34. I like watching YouTube stand up comedians. nt

[Backseat Driver]

25. Last stop for me - on the way to bed.

I've been taking in the series of Harmonic Convergence lectures, music, beautiful videos of rainforests and indigenous peoples around the world, etc. this week. Lots of meditation and talk of global peace and love, (6 hrs a day) LOL! You gotta think lovely thoughts! If you have a FB account, search for unify's page and sign up to watch Live beginning at 11 AM Pacific Time/2 PM Eastern Time. They've been recording the daily events (speakers) and then replaying it several times to cover 24 hrs. Goes until July 14, I think. Pretty ambitious project! Then I read all I want on DU for balance while far out hippie-guru style peace and love speak in my ear from a different browser, hehehe...

The mobile doggie groomer coming tomorrow morning - Planning for lots of yawning and coffee!

[JustAnotherGen]

26. 4:07 - been tossing and turning

A few hours. I never have trouble sleeping.

I think I'm up for the day. It's too much. I've had it.

[chowder66]

28. Up and waiting for a call from England. I want to be sleeping.

[marlakay]

30. You must be in a different time zone

Its almost 2am now and I am awake, was up late talking to my cousin.

Going to read my book now. Hope you were able to sleep!

[ananda]

31. You are not alone. Also...

You,me, none of us would still be
social distancing today with the
proper response..

That fucking Reep murder-suicide cult
has just ruined everything.

It’ll be months now before all this is
over. Am I being too optimistic?
I hope not.

Take care and keep the faith.
This too shall pass.

[Awsi Dooger]

32. 2 AM is middle of the day

I will forever be on Las Vegas time

I have no idea how anybody can tolerate being awake at 9 or 10 AM. I have to do it a few times per year. That morning sun is so rancid I want to turn it off.

[Siwsan]

36. That's like far too many of my nights

I've spent about 99% of the past 4 months alone, with only little Sophie Stinky Toes for company.

For years I was sleeping between 2 and 4 hours a night. That was it. An extremely toxic work situation along with multiple family members suffering terminal health issues kept my brain spinning, almost non stop.

I finally left the job and, unfortunately, the family members have all died. I was slowly but surely edging up to sleeping up to 6 hours a night, and then this plague arrived, and the stress has pushed me right back into getting MAYBE 4 hours of sleep per night, between midnight and 4am. I've tried using Indica gummies, at night, but they only help me fall asleep faster. They do nothing to help me sleep longer. I'm convinced that the only reason the anxiety triggered 'brain spin' has returned is I've been on full spectrum CBD tincture for almost a year.

[leftyladyfrommo]

38. I take melatonin with magnesium.

It really does help

[Siwsan]

39. I've had no luck with melatonin BUT will try it with magnesium.

I have tried something called 'Natural Calm' which is a magnesium supplement. It was slightly helpful but you have to be really careful about the dose. Take too much and insomnia is the last of your problems.