My Next Door Neighbor Stuck a Nasty Letter in My Kitchen Door

[MineralMan]

Apparently, someone reported her unmown, tall, weedy front lawn to the city. She immediately assumed that it was me who reported her. So, she wrote an ugly letter blaming me for having had to get someone to mow her lawn. I read the letter, and wrote on the bottom of it, "We didn't call anyone!" I stuck the reply in her kitchen door.

I rarely encounter her. She is always in her house, watching television. She had a job, but lost it during the pandemic. Apparently, she doesn't mind, as long as she gets her unemployment check.

She jumped to a conclusion. It was the wrong one, but I'm the most convenient one to blame, since we share a double-wide driveway. Never mind that I have cleared her half of the driveway of snow for over 12 years, every time the snow falls. I also pick up branches that fall off her tree and put them in my pickup to haul to the chipping yard along with the ones that fall off my tree. Not once in that time has she said, "Thanks" for those things. I do it, because I have a snowblower and am out there, and because I have a pickup truck. It's no big deal. I've also jump-started her rattletrap car many times, on her request.

Yesterday, I saw her pulling in her driveway and went outside, and repeated my statement about not calling anyone about her overgrown lawn. "I don't do that. Your lawn is up to you. I don't care whether you mow it or not." I made it clear that I was not happy about her nasty, ugly note. "Why did you assume that I called about your lawn?"

She said, "Well, who else would have called the city but you?" I pointed out that the house next to her is for sale and that the realtor might have reported her overgrown yard for very logical reasons. I also pointed out that a lot of new people have been out walking their dogs during the pandemic. One of them might have called. I told her that one such walker called the city about us feeding the squirrels, and that we got an abatement letter, too. "It wasn't me who called. I don't do that." She just said, "Hmph!" and went into her house.

Did I mention that she is a Trump supporter? She is, and had a Trump sign in her yard in 2016. She'll probably have another one out there in 2020. She doesn't think. She simply reacts. She simply assumed that i was the one who called the city, because she doesn't use logic in forming her opinions. She is a Trump supporter. She doesn't think. She simply reacts. She latches onto the first thing that comes into her mind and is immediately certain that she is correct. Trump behaves the same way.

That is why we cannot have nice things.

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. Wow. She's got issues, but you aren't one of them.

[MineralMan]

4. Yes, and I know that I'm not the issue.

I'll continue to do snow removal on her half of the driveway, deal with her fallen branches, and jump start her car when she needs a jump. Not because I like her, but because it is what I do. And she'll continue to think I'm the worst neighbor in the world. She doesn't think about things. She simply reacts.

[mercuryblues]

14. Just to make a point

the 1st time it snows, only do your half.
the 2nd time is snows, do her 1/2 and stick a "your welcome" note on her front door.

Once she sticks her trump sign in her yard, you can also mow her lawn, accidentally mowing down her sign. Then stick a not in her door explaining that you did not see it with the grass so high and accidently ran it over. I tried replacing it with another, but only Biden signs were available and you hope she doesn't mind.

Signed Trying to be a good neighbor

[MineralMan]

18. I'm not really a passive aggressive person.

It's easier just to do those things, since I'm out there doing them for myself. Less stress, too. I won't mow her lawn, though. I don't even like mowing mine.

[packman]

29. God bless you-Much better than I could be

After encountering such rudeness and insensitivity over and over again from such a neighbor (oil from his car put into our drainage ditch, dog crapping on our lawn, road ash blown on driveway, etc.) I refused to have any dealings with him and his rude wife.

[MineralMan]

31. I'm really just taking the path of least resistance with her.

I've had far worse neighbors during my longish lifetime. As we used to say back in the late 1960s, I just "shine her on."

[jaxexpat]

112. You crazy diamond, you.

[Boomer]

83. If you think about it...

Trump is probably the first president who reflects her way of thinking. She sees his behavior and it resonates with her as the way you're supposed to react, the way things should be done.

[dalton99a]

2. A real nasty woman.

[MineralMan]

6. So she is. She's also depressed.

She has many problems. So, I do what I can. I'm just sad that she blamed me for her troubles. It's too bad.

[cilla4progress]

63. I think this is a common feature

of drumpfster's base: negative, hateful, resentful, depressed.

[trueblue2007]

106. SHE IS SUCH A JERK !!! What a rotten woman.

[Skraxx]

3. What A Vomit of a Person

[MineralMan]

8. She is not a nice person.

Why that is I don't know, but I know she suffers from depression and isn't overly bright. It's too bad, really.

[certainot]

55. and now she's probably extra depressed limbaugh might not be there to interpret events to

help her simplify a complicated frightening world full of uncertainties into absolutes she can use to judge - her neighbor for instance - and find comforting certainty

[MLAA]

5. After all this, and the trump sign I think I'd let her do her own snow blowing and let

The branches fall where they may 🙂

[MineralMan]

7. No. I'll continue to do those things, because

I think they're the right things to do. Besides, snow on her side of the driveway also inconveniences me, as do fallen branches from the tree in her front yard. I just do that stuff because I can and because that's just how I am.

She is how she is.

[MLAA]

9. She is lucky 🙂

[safeinOhio]

12. Good job, you are a good neighbor.

I like to nice em to death when they are grumpy. They either laugh, change or avoid me.

[MineralMan]

19. She avoids me, which is fine.

[Stuart G]

48. ...These words are special..(post 7)..."I think they're the right things to do."

Doing the right thing is not always easy. Picking up "fallen branches from the tree in her front yard." makes you special too. You don't have to do that, but you do. That says a whole lot about who you are.
.....She is what she is, & you are who you are...Thank You, for being.. "You."

[JustBidenOurTime]

49. What do you suppose the response would be if you did your half of the driveway

just long enough see how she would react?

Have you considered offering to mow her yard for her just as you clear the snow and branches?

[MineralMan]

88. I'm not going to mow her yard. Not a chance.

I do the snow removal and branch stuff because it's just not that big a deal. I toss all the branches into my pickup and, when it's full, I haul it off to St. Paul's free yard waste yard. No big deal. If I need to use the pickup to haul something else, I go to that yard first and unload.

Lawn mowing is something else again. I don't even like mowing my own yard, although I do it once a week or so. But, I'm not going to mow anyone else's yard. Too much work. An overgrown neighbor's lawn has no effect on me whatsoever, so I won't do it.

As for not clearing the snow off her side of the driveway, that's a non-starter. Accumulated snow melts and then refreezes into ice, making my side of the driveway dangerous to walk on. I'm out there with my snowblower as soon as the snow stops falling and clear the entire driveway, except where her car is. She never comes out to move it. Then, I blow off the snow on the city sidewalk in front of three houses, with mine in the middle. I do my other neighbor's city sidewalk because they're nice people but don't have a snowblower. They do their own driveway by shoveling, but I do their city sidewalk, because it's just a continuation of the sidewalk, and takes only a few minutes to clear. That other neighbor always waves and says "Thanks!"

I would never again buy a house that shares a driveway with a neighbor. It's a bad idea, all around. I won't even mention the times when people visiting my neighbor have parked on my side of the driveway, blocking me from going anywhere. That has happened a number of times, and asking the visitor to move their car always results in a hostile response.

Don't share a driveway with anyone. It never works out well.

[SWBTATTReg]

96. Yes, I've wondered about that (the shared driveway)...and w/ the way you are, I'm surprised that...

you do share a driveway, being that you're very independent and self-reliant, and try to avoid bothering others (you're considerate, like most of us).

Wonder if you can put up a barrier dividing the two driveways, probably not doable/put in a medium between the two of you, again, probably not doable or worth it. How in the heck do you divide a driveway when you sell the place? Just curious, being that I have no experience in dealing w/ a shared anything w/ another neighbor, it just feels weird, and it sounds like you have to be lucky and have a pretty damn good neighbor (which is not guaranteed by any stretch of the imagination).

I had a spat w/ a neighbor of mine once (he griped about how I mowed his yard, since he was unable to do it), so I quit mowing his yard, and lord and behold, he was nervously wondering why I didn't mow his front yard lately and I told him why, that he was being a jerk and such, and that's why.

He did apologize, I guess some people don't realize that when they are running their mouth off, that it can lead to unintended consequences (in my case, no more mowed front yard). I think his wife also got mad at him too, for I did all kinds of things for him as they got older and thus, weren't able to do as much as before. I did go back to mowing his yard, Bert (his name) was overall a generally good guy, but I think a lot of people tend to mouth off a lot before truly thinking about what they are saying.

[MineralMan]

98. The mid-50s development where I live has many shared

driveways between houses. They're 24' wide. Mine is 60' long. I've seen some that have been divided, with a low wall down the middle, probably after a dispute between owners. That leaves a 12' wide driveway on each side, which seems adequate, but is really pretty tight. Looking at the ones I've seen that have been divided, It looks like I'd prefer the wider driveway overall.

The real problem with dividing the driveway, is that the divider is on the property line, which can produce issues if a new owner doesn't like it. Fences are supposed to be located on one side or the other of the property line in St. Paul. Now, when I built a chain-link fence in my back yard, my neighbor on the other side and I split the cost and built it right on the property line. We agreed to build it that way. When he sold the house, the new owner and I talked about the fence, and he agreed that it was fine where it was. In fact, one of the reasons they bought the house was because of the nice, relatively new chain link fence. He has two children and a dog, so the fence is a good thing. No problem there.

Building a divider in the middle of the driveway could potentially cause a dispute, so you'd have to build it on your side of the driveway, and that narrows the driveway a little. I'm not really interested in doing that, frankly.

[NCjack]

115. Please reconsider mowing her lawn. It will cost you a couple of bucks and your get

exercise. When it is done, you will feel really good about it.

[lagomorph777]

10. I imagine she's also a maskhole, and will be more likely to die of COVID than you are.

So there's that.

[2naSalit]

11. Well, it might be a good thing...

that she stays in the house! Perhaps she's a latent viral outburst video star with stage fright.

She sounds like a lovely neighbor.

[MineralMan]

20. We don't get to choose our neighbors.

If we get a bad one, we pretty much just have to deal with that in our own ways.

[leftyladyfrommo]

13. I knew a woman who rode the bus. If she saw a

Yard she didn't think was up to par she would write the address down and call the City.


She loved to call stuff in. And call the police on every little thing, too.

[MineralMan]

22. Yup. There are plenty of people like that, it seems.

My guess is that the person who reported her yard is the same one who reported our squirrel feeding. Probably one of the new dog-walkers we're having these days. No bus goes down our street. Oh, well...

When we got the nastygram from the city about "feeding pests," we cleaned up the front yard completely and stopped putting out feed in our yard. After 15 years of feeding the birds and other critters, we decided to just stop altogether. Again, it's too bad, but it was also expensive to feed animals that way. So, the critters moved on and we're saving money. I miss them, though.

[Alliepoo]

15. You are a great guy!!

I think it’s very nice that you continue to be a good neighbor to this person. It speaks volumes about your kindness and your willingness to recognize her problems and overlook them to do the right thing!! You ROCK!!

[Wounded Bear]

16. One of those sweeping generalities we're not supposed to use...

Republicans react to events.

Democrats try to plan ahead for contingencies.

Just sayin'

[MineralMan]

24. Hmm, OK...

[CommonHumanity]

17. Assumptions are easy to make

I get your frustration and applaud your goodness in continuing to clear snow and branches, but want to respectfully point out that you too are making an assumption, a massive assumption in fact when you say "She had a job, but lost it during the pandemic. Apparently, she doesn't mind, as long as she gets her unemployment check."

[MineralMan]

23. Well, I'm here, and live next door to that person, and have for 12 years.

My assumption is based on observation over time.

On the other hand, you have posted just 12 times on this website, and are making some sort of assumption about me. Check your mirror, please.

[kcr]

67. But you did say you rarely talk to her or encounter her.

[MineralMan]

69. Both things are true. However, if you live across the driveway

from someone for 12 years, those rare encounters accumulate. So do observations that can't be avoided.

You are not me. You do not live next door to my neighbor.

I am done with this line of discussion.

[bucolic_frolic]

21. Mental rigidity and confirmation bias

Known in my house as "hard-heads". That is a tough logical fallacy to dissolve. Humanity would have many fewer problems if we could find the key to it.

[MineralMan]

27. Also an inability to use critical thinking.

I don't really think there is a solution that can apply. Some folks just don't, or won't, get things.

The rest of us have to work around that problem, I think. We can deal with Trump in November, if we will.

[Cognitive_Resonance]

25. Sounds like she's invested in "wanting" you to be the one. Why can't you just accept the role of

scapegoat the way you do all those other tasks for her benefit?

[TheBlackAdder]

26. Sorry, Man! Nasty neighbors suck.

.

Trump supporters are really coming unglued in the recent weeks.

I guess they don't have as much exposure to store clerks to abuse.

.

[MineralMan]

28. She's not really a nasty neighbor.

She's more of a passive neighbor, 99% of the time. Her nasty note was out of the ordinary. I suspect many things are not going well for her right now. The $600 extra unemployment payment is about to run out. I doubt she will be able to service the mortgage on her house soon. Perhaps her family will be able to pick up the slack, but I haven't seen any of them around recently, so maybe she has alienated them. I don't know. We don't chat across the driveway.

[TheBlackAdder]

44. It sounds like she might be in crisis and could use a little outreach.

.

That reporting might have set her over the edge.

It's a shame that she supports the very clowns who want to do away with her relief checks.

.

[MineralMan]

60. Yes, I think that's probably correct.

I wish they'd renew that additional $600 unemployment payment. I fear that she's going to be unable to service her mortgage once it runs out. The last job she had was giving driving lessons for a driving school here. That job ended due to COVID-19. Before that, she worked a series of poorly paid clerical jobs for varying periods of time. Not a lot of those available, either.

Despite not having regular conversations with her, living across the driveway does lead to some communication, so i do know what is going on in her life, one way or another. I also work from home, as does my wife, so we're here all the time. She doesn't do well in many ways, and shows signs of depression almost all of the time.

I worry about her, but am not responsible for her well-being. Not my job, nor would she welcome my input.

[H2O Man]

30. Recommended.

This shows the advantage of a rational response over an emotional reaction. People do not tend to do their best after thinking that they have been insulted. They become at risk of making assumptions that may well be baseless. This can happen to any of us, as a sequence of two sentences in the OP show: after noting she lost her job during the pandemic, you write, "Apparently, she doesn't mind, as long as she gets her unemployment check." This is followed directly in the next paragraph by, "She jumped to a conclusion."

Rational responses in thought and action are always superior to the emotional reactions tat cause us to jump to conclusions. Always.

[matt819]

32. This one is easy

Don’t plow her side of the driveway.

Don’t pick up her wind fallen branches.

Don’t talk to her.

[MineralMan]

38. I could do those things, of course.

I won't, though. I'm who I am. Excessive snow on a shared driveway also inconveniences me, as do fallen branches. So, I clear the entire 24' x 60' driveway after each snowfall. It's not a huge amount of effort, really. I have a very nice, powerful snowblower, a pickup truck and a chainsaw.

I don't talk to her often, because I rarely encounter her, despite working from home.

Sometimes, it's easier just to do those things than to fret about them. It's also more neighborly, which is important to me. I don't do those things for her, really. I do them for myself.

[matt819]

75. I figured.

I was going to add one more line to my post.

To wit: Then again, I'm probably being a dick.

And if I were in your position, my wife would make me do those good neighbor things, even though I'd grumble about it.

[Catherine Vincent]

33. What an ungrateful expletive!

[CanonRay]

34. I wouldn't do shit for her ever again.

But I probably would have quit at the first Trump sign.

[Sucha NastyWoman]

35. Most everyone here would love to be your neighbor

What an opportunity she is missing.

I think Trump supporters see the writing on the wall, and they are really angry. I don’t know what we do about that. I fear there will be violence because that’s who they are.

[NurseJackie]

36. Some cities have employees who actively ride through neighborhoods...

Some cities have employees who actively ride through neighborhoods... or problem-neighborhoods... looking for egregious code violations. If things are as bad as you describe, it could have been that NONE of the neighbors called and that it called attention to itself whenever a city employee drove by.

[MineralMan]

47. St. Paul, MN does have code enforcement staffers.

However, not enough of them to drive around looking for violations. That department is reactive, not proactive.

They do, however, respond to citizen complaints fairly promptly. My neighbor's front yard has not been mowed even once this spring and early summer. That's pretty standard for that neighbor. Over the 12 years she has lived there, most of it has gone from grass to creeping charlie, white clover, and wild violets. Most of it. In a way, I like that wildflower look in front yards. Of course, there's still a lot of high grass there, as well. I don't find it particularly offensive, though. The yard attracts bees and butterflies. So, I wouldn't call anyone to report it. It's interesting to watch it revert to a non lawn landscaping, really.

It's not in keeping with the city code for front yards, though, so if someone reports it, the city will send an abatement letter, which she got. Once the city starts in with abatement demands, you really have to do what they ask. If you don't, they'll send a city crew out to mow or do whatever, and charge you $100/hr. for their work.

[Sherman A1]

107. Yup

We have those that do code enforcement, along with the general police drive bys and the City Council Members also do so in their respective wards. There is also a site on our City's web page to alert on code violations such as tall grass, weeds, overgrown shrubs, dog droppings, etc. I have used it in the past myself on properties in the area as they are just out of control. Have a neighbor that is doing a version of a prairie grass restoration project I believe and another with 2 Rottweilers that seems to not understand you have to clean up the dog droppings in the back yard or they get a bit ripe in the summer heat.

[ProudMNDemocrat]

37. My neighbor is a Trumper too.

But he has the sense to mow his lawn. We do mot interact, but he knows not to start any fights.

[calimary]

41. Just found out we have one of those, too.

Glad we don't see her much. I think she's outnumbered, though. Most everybody else in this neighborhood seems to lean the other way. There are two big "You're FIRED" signs, one that she'd probably be able to see as she heads up into our little area to go home, and another one across the street facing her. And to leave the house, she'd have to drive by our big "NOPE" one under a rather obvious swirl of orange-yellow hair.

[C Moon]

39. "I've also jump-started her rattletrap car many times, on her request."

Jesus. She sounds like a terrible person!

[Liberal In Texas]

40. "Apparently, she doesn't mind, as long as she gets her unemployment check."

Maybe she does mind. Did she say this? You know a lot of people are getting unemployment because they need it. That statement sounds like a repub excuse for not renewing the relief we need to get over this pandemic.

[MineralMan]

52. Living across a shared driveway from someone for 12 years,

you get a pretty clear picture of who that person is, really.

[Scruffy1]

42. I had a nasty neighbor when I lived in Northeast Minneapolis.

He was very old and was actually born in the house he lived in. The old woman who lived in the house I bought all her life referred to him as that man. I learned to just grin and bear it when he started yelling. I actually felt sorry for him being so miserable. His sister lived across the street was very nice and would calm him down when he got out of hand. You hit the nail on the head. Trump people are just taking out their anger at the world on the rest of us. I think we underestimated the power of fear and hate and the GOP knew how to tap into it. I just refuse to be like them.

[47of74]

104. Yeah we had a guy like that here

Very mean and nasty when he got older. Spent his retirement sending weird, hate filled screeds to people via mail. Started getting into confrontations with his neighbors. Considered the whole road his own personal yard, as in people should get off it. Being someone who got some of his threatening communications I was so glad when he finally got his ass arrested but wished he could've gotten taken in sooner.

Anyways he died in late 2018. Either he demanded the funeral not be held locally or his family thought he burned so many bridges around here that his funeral was not held in the area and he was buried in a different city.

[pandr32]

43. So is her issue with mowing her yard cost or indifference?

You have described a thoughtless Trump supporter who lives alone.

Hopefully, she will continue having to mow her lawn because someone else has reported her neglect. You might not have a nicer or more grateful neighbor, but at least her spot will look a little better.
No sign yet. That's a plus, too.

[MineralMan]

56. I don't care if she mows her lawn or not.

It's not really a concern for me. As I described upthread, I sort of enjoy her wild landscape, really. That's not the issue here at all. The issue is that she blamed me for the city sending her an abatement notice. She is not likely to mow her yard. She has a working lawnmower, but does not use it. Ever. Once in a while, one of her relatives will use it, but I haven't seen any of those around lately.

There's an ambitious 15-year-old up the street who mows yards for just $10 for the front or back yard. He knocks on doors. Since I still take some satisfaction out of doing mine myself at age 74, I haven't hired him to do mine. After getting the abatement notice, though, my neighbor hired a lawn service to come and whack her yard down. I don't know how much that cost, but the kid would have done it for a fraction of whatever it cost her.

I doubt she'll have it mowed again this year. Once a year is enough, I suppose.

[pandr32]

58. You've been a better neighbor than she deserves

[Heartstrings]

45. "She doesn't think, she just reacts"

Yes, that describes a trump supporter to a tee!

[roamer65]

46. I wouldn't even bother talking to her.

Seriously, who cares what a Dump lover thinks?

I don’t.

[MineralMan]

57. I rarely do talk to her, as I said earlier.

I would, but I rarely encounter her outside.

[chia]

50. I'm sorry you got a nasty note from your neighbor. Does gossiping about her life make it any better?

Even though you "rarely encounter her," thanks to you, we know she apparently "doesn't mind" losing her job, "as long as she gets her unemployment check."

Even though she's "more of a passive neighbor, 99% of the time" and "her nasty note was out of the ordinary" you've freely shared with us that she's "depressed," that she has "many problems," that you "doubt she will be able to service the mortgage on her house soon" and that maybe "she has alienated" her family.

But you don't actually know because you "don't chat across the driveway."

[Aussie105]

117. That's what happens when you and neighbors don't communicate.

You piece little bits of information together and weave a whole story about them.
That's human nature. We all do it.

[CaptainTruth]

51. I'll bet the real estate agent called, they want the neighborhood to look neat & tidy.

I once had a neighbor, college kid, who had set up a man cave in his garage. Some days he would spend the day out there working on things & blast heavy metal. I didn't mind, I actually enjoyed it because it was the music I grew up listening to & playing in local bands in my younger years.

All was fine until the house next to his went up for sale & the realtor brought prospective buyers to look at the house while his music was blasting. Suddenly he got a visit from the sheriff about a noise complaint. To us it was obvious who called & why.

[MineralMan]

61. Yes, that seems likely to me, too.

It would be my guess, for sure, although the new dog walkers in the neighborhood are also potential complainers.

[brewens]

53. Rush Limbaugh's neighbor mowed his yard before he was famous because he was too fat and lazy to do

it. I think that was in Franken's book about him. Makes sense that she is a Trump cult worshipper.

[MineralMan]

65. I wasn't aware of that. Interesting.

There are a few neighbors on my block who mow their next door neighbor's yard at the same time they mow their own. Those mowing neighbors generally are pretty intense about their own lawns, so maybe they don't want an ugly lawn next door. I don't know.

I keep my lawn mowed, out of respect for my neighbors. It's not a job I enjoy, frankly, but it is expected that people maintain their lawns to some degree. So, once a week, I mow. I don't mow anyone else's lawn, though. I'll be 75 years old in less than two weeks. I mow the front yard one day, and the back yard the next. That's all I'm going to do.

[colorado_ufo]

54. Great post!

[cayugafalls]

59. Reading this thread you say she might be depressed and alone.

A sad combination for these times. Then to have someone call and make you spend money that you may not have probably got her angry and she lashed out at the one person who showed her kindness all these years. Unconsciously seeking contact and help.

Perhaps, now is the time to reach out and see if she needs anything. She may be needing help but does not know how to ask. I know it is not your job to help people, but sometimes all they need is someone to talk with.

I don't know, you seem like you care and she seems like she may be in trouble.

I remember long ago, we had a neighbor that everyone in the neighborhood stayed away from. People called him Mr. Battleaxe because he was always angry and mean. One day my brother and I approached his wife and asked if there was something we did that made him angry and if we could make it right (we were his nextdoor neighbor), and she said no, he was mostly just mean because he had a problem that made him hurt a lot. She took us into the living room and introduced us to him and we sat down and talked a while and asked him about his problem. He said he had been in the hurt in the war and sometimes it made him angry. We had tea and cookies that day and after that he was always nice to me and my brother.

Oh well, just thought I would share.

Stay well, MineralMan!

[MuseRider]

62. Whatever happened to asking politely

about issues like that? She could have put a note in your door asking you if you did call and she could have also said that she had let it go for whatever reason and when she was going to take care of it. Of course we all know this but when did everything turn this way?

One would figure she is probably around my age or younger if she has not retired and we were still taught to be polite. Anger has it's place but not to someone who has helped her so much.

It makes you wonder if they like it this way. Trump is this way, a lot of people always have been but it seems that nastiness is all you hear anymore. Makes me glad I am closer to the end of my life. This is not a fun way to live.

[Sneederbunk]

64. Jumping to conclusions is a national pastime.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

66. It sucks to have nasty neighbors.

I live between a nice older woman and a nasty couple. The nice one always waves and says hi (from a distance these days) and has done things like help me get my car un-stuck from a ridge in the alley created by a snowplow. The nasty neighbors have been jerks for years (they are Karen and Brad, for sure), but the worst thing they did was use Round-Up to poison a swath of my garden all along the property line because they don't like my landscaping (no grass, all native plants). When I complained through a lawyer (they refused to talk to me about it), they claimed as an excuse that the property line wasn't really where it's always been acknowledged it to be, marked by their landscaping as well as mine, by a low fence belonging to them, and by a survey marker that's probably been there for 100 years or so. I've lived here for 30 years, they've lived in their house for 12 or so, but they never contested the property line before. Their lawyer wanted me to get a survey; I said hell no. That lawyer must have given up because that was the end of it and nobody poisoned my garden this year. "Brad" has been relatively nice lately and I haven't seen "Karen," who is the worse of the two, at all. I don't know where they are politically. It's easy to assume they're Trumpers, but I've run into some Democrats who were assholes, so you never know.

I can't imagine siccing city inspectors on a neighbor for anything less than a gross eyesore or a health hazard
(and you really should be able to identify poison ivy before you claim somebody's growing it), but inspectors have their purpose, and if your neighbor was ordered to get her lawn mowed I guess that's a good thing. It usually has to be pretty bad before the city will issue an abatement order. It was obnoxious of her to accuse you of it, and apparently she assumes you'll keep plowing her side of the driveway. But sometimes it's a good idea to love your enemy because it will drive them crazy.

[MineralMan]

68. We don't get to choose our neighbors. So, we have to cope with what we get.

I deal. Anything else is stressful, and I don't need any additional stress in my life.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

73. Exactly, especially these days.

The poisoning of my garden was the worst of the many things my bad neighbors had done over a stretch of ten years or so, and the only incident I took action over. Until then I didn't say anything about all the baseless city complaints and the dead branches and other yard waste they tossed in my yard because I didn't want to get into it with them; it would have been more stress than I wanted. Maybe they concluded that picking on me because they don't like my landscaping is also too much stress for them. When all the commotion started up in Minneapolis right after George Floyd was killed, "Brad" actually talked to me and was surprisingly nice. Maybe all the big problems we are all having will give us, or at least some of us, some perspective about the little problems.

[MineralMan]

76. At some point, as with your poisoned landscaping, you have

to take some sort of action. Most of the time, though, it's easier to simply do what you need to do to clean up after a rude neighbor does something.

[progree]

70. Why all the jump starts? I haven't ever had one, and I've been driving almost as long as you 😊

And live maybe 20 miles west of you in the frozen tundra near the 45th parallel ... Anyway, when the battery is noticeably weak, a battery charger does wonders. If I need to use the battery charger more than once in a year, its time to get a new battery -- about once every 5 years.

I suppose if something's wrong with the car's electrical system, engine running does not charge the battery like it should...

[MineralMan]

74. Old car. Old battery. No charger. No money.

When I bought my 1996 Ford Ranger, one of the things I did was put a brand new battery in it before Winter. I moved the old one into the garage, where it is attached to an automatic charger. The charger shuts off when the battery reaches full charge. That's my jumper battery. It's strapped to a luggage cart. There is a coiled up set of heavy duty jumper cables hanging from that luggage cart. The Ranger's old battery replaced a weaker one I used to have on that luggage cart. I used the previous battery as the core when I bought the new one for the Ranger to save the battery fee.

I won't jump start people's cars from my KIA Soul's battery. It's just not a good idea to do that on a car that has a module of some kind as part of the positive battery connection.

I live in a neighborhood that has a number of low-income families. Most drive beater cars. So, if I'm asked if I can jump their car, I open the garage door and wheel that luggage cart to their car and jump straight from that older but good battery. Then, I put it back in the garage and reconnect it to the charger.

Everyone knows that I can give them a jump. Out of habit, I'm up and dressed by 6 AM, so if someone knocks on the door, I can help. People have always asked for a jump from time to time since I moved here. Having a portable jump battery just makes sense, and I don't have to say no to avoid risking damage to my KIA Soul.

I jump start about 20 cars every winter, I estimate.

[progree]

82. Thanks for the detailed reply! I've been thinking of doing something like that - to have

a spare battery that I keep charged. I'm glad to see that's more than feasible.

[MineralMan]

85. No problem. You can pick up a luggage cart at Goodwill

or some similar place for a buck or two. Everyone should have a battery charger on hand, and most of them automatically shut off when the battery is charged, so you can hook it up and forget it.

I put a big hook on the back of the luggage cart for the jumper cables and strapped the battery down with bungee cords. The only time it doesn't work as well is when there's a lot of snow, but it's possible to pick up the cart, if necessary, and carry it. Most of the time, though, conditions let you just roll the cart to where it's needed.

I set up that cart thing when I was still driving a 1991 Volvo station wagon. It was for me to use on my own car. But, it didn't take long before the word was out that I could jump cars, and people started dropping by when their car wouldn't start. My neighbors who drive beaters don't have AAA or anything like that. So, it can be difficult to get a jump when you need one.

I keep newish batteries in my own cars. the 2020 Soul will never need one, since I'll trade it in, but the Ranger got a new battery when I bought it, because the one in it was five years old. The old battery is still fine, though. So, now, I'm the jump start guy, I guess. I don't mind.

[raccoon]

116. That's helpful to know, about the Kia Soul.

I won't jump start people's cars from my KIA Soul's battery. It's just not a good idea to do that on a car that has a module of some kind as part of the positive battery connection.

My next car may be one of those.

[Peacetrain]

71. There is nothing worse than having a jackass for a neighbor..

Every-time you open your window curtains there they are.. We have a Trump flag flying one.. and it just gives me heartburn to see that thing..

[MineralMan]

77. Oh, there are many things worse than that.

Yes, indeed, there are.

[Evolve Dammit]

72. What an ingrate. I would not be as kind, and I certainly wouldn't be doing any more snow removal.

That's me. If people appreciate it and say so, that's different. As you say, "That is why we cannot have nice things."

[iluvtennis]

78. Mineral Man, I applaud how you handled this situation with ur neighbor -all goodness coming ur way.

[Fla Dem]

79. And here I thought everyone in Minnesota was "Minnesota Nice".

Who Knew!

[MineralMan]

86. "Minnesota Nice" is used sarcastically more often than not, really.

Still, there are a lot of nice people here, just as there are everywhere.

[Sloumeau]

80. She seems to be like many Trump supporters.

She doesn't find out the facts before making assumptions. She doesn't find out the facts before acting. She doesn't thank the people that help her. The fact is, she also sounds like Donald Trump. No wonder she likes him.

[yaesu]

81. since those on unemployment got a $600 UBI a week I think those on fixed income

should get a weekly UBI also. That one time 1200 was a slap in the face when food prices alone are up over 50%.

[MineralMan]

87. I'd like to see that $600 extended until the pandemic is over.

However, there are a lot of people fighting that idea. As for those on fixed incomes, it would be nice to increase their buying power but that, too, is unlikely to happen, I'm afraid, during this administration.

We'll see what happens once Democrats are in control of the White House and both houses of Congress. Let's work hard to make that happen!

[Sherman A1]

108. Agreed

Grocery prices are astronomical

[berni_mccoy]

84. People are stressed. What America is going through is awful

As well as traumatic. I applaud your patience with this woman and I encourage you to keep it as well. You never know what can happen.

It is the kindness of everyday deeds that keeps the darkness at bay.

[Desert_Leslie]

89. Depression & Fear

Sounds to me that she is clinically depressed, and no doubt scared as hell. She has worked herself into a rage state, since her brain thinks that rage at least gives her some level of "control" over her situation. Of course, it does nothing of the kind.

So she takes that out on you in this instance.

Doing the right thing when no one is looking (as in these circumstances) makes you the far wiser, more empathetic person.

“Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”

- Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

[MineralMan]

91. That's how I was raised.

Thanks to my parents, who are still with us at the age of 96. I owe a lot to them.

[AwakeAtLast]

90. I'm sorry that happened to you.

If she does it again, make a copy to have on hand. Also send a copy to the city or authorities if needed.

[world wide wally]

92. Tell her it must be the deep state.

That will have her going for a couple hours

[CloudWatcher]

93. There's another Trump voter!

Whenever I see someone acting stupid or rude in public, I just admit to myself that there's another Trump voter! And try not to get too annoyed that they were shorted during the brain distribution. It's really sad actually, how dumb "average" is in the US. Who could imagine that Trump still has 40% approval rating after all he's done?

Yeah, you can call me an elitist. I'm just trying not to be a real misanthrope.

And you'd be welcome to move to my neighborhood anytime. I've got a guy I hire to plow my driveway, the snow gets too deep to do it myself. And the well water rights basically ban lawns, so you could stop mowing

[CousinIT]

94. Imagine people like her on a neighborhood mailing list. We have that.

People who go off at others, make assumptions, then attack. Miserable damn people.

[MineralMan]

101. I don't use those.

[raccoon]

95. I sincerely hope you don't pick up limbs or blow snow for her any more. Nt

[Ferrets are Cool]

97. You were much nicer than I would have been. I don't suffer fools

very well. Especially, rude fools.

[George II]

99. Our town has a blight ordinance that is enforced by our two Zoning Enforcement Officers....

The periodically drive around town (maybe once a week each?) and record blight violations like overgrown lawns, unregistered cars, etc. as well as obvious zoning violations.

[MineralMan]

100. St. Paul is too big to do that.

Not enough code enforcement staff.

[LanternWaste]

102. At least it was simply a note...

instead of being super creepy and staring-down a carload of neighbor's visitors with stink-eye. 'Cause that would be some seriously Gladys Kravitz-level spicy prying.

[MineralMan]

122. Hi, there.

[perfessor]

103. About sixty years ago,

the pastor of our church gave a sermon that stuck with me. I encapsulate it thus:

Send her an itemized bill for services rendered:

Clearing deadfall from your tree, three times this summer: amount due $0.00
Clearing the snow from your half of the driveway last winter: amount due $0.00
Whatever else you want to add on: amount due $0.00

Total amount due $0.00

The courtesy of your prompt remittance is appreciated.
Sincerely yours,

[warmfeet]

105. Good on ya mate.

I know for a fact that I could not behave as well as you, consistently, do. I do, on occasion, fly off the handle - I lose my temper. I make a spectacle of myself through loss of self control.

I am working toward behaving more like you, so consistently, do.

It is good to have a role model. You are one of my role models. Thank you!

[MineralMan]

120. You're far too kind...

[warmfeet]

124. I doubt that.

You seem like the kind one.

[DonaldsRump]

109. I have two words for your neighbor

. .

[ThoughtCriminal]

110. America is not just sick of Trump

America is also sick of his obnoxious, horrible, supporters. We're done with them too.

[mdbl]

111. I would call the city and tell them her Trump signs are offensive

[oldsoftie]

113. She may already have a Trump '20 sign. You just cant see it for the damn grass!!

I see yards in my town that look like they havent been mowed this entire season. Drives me nuts because it makes the whole neighborhood look like crap

[Locrian]

114. logic and reasoning...

Logic and reasoning are not the strong points in these types of people - they really are not very smart.
They tend to be so "tribal" that if you aren't best buddies and let them walk all over you then you're "one of them".

My 87 yr mom has a few of these neighbors that she has largely managed to deal with over the years - but with a lot of petty issues etc from their stupid behavior. They have sad lives - it takes a lot of effort to be that self centered, etc that could be spent just enjoying life and your neighbors by just being a tiny bit more friendly. But I guess that's "weakness" or something to them.

[Aussie105]

118. Tolerant, you are!

Anyhow . . . no snow here, no shared driveway, and I've talked to my neighbors maybe 5 times in the last 30 years.
But I'm not going to make up their life story on the basis of minimal information.

BUT I'M AGHAST!

Can't feed the local animals? It's taken years to attract birds of all types to my yard! Ducks stop by for a feed and a swim in our green pool, magpies eat stale cat biscuits on the front lawn, and 5 Kg bags of 'wild bird seed' gets bought as part of our weekly shopping to feed the pigeons and doves. Those wait patiently for me to come out in the morning to fill their dish. (blink and it is empty again.)

Yes, we bring the food in at night. Rodents not wanted, here.

[MineralMan]

121. Feeding the animals...

St. Paul, MN has a list of "pests" that you cannot feed. On that list are squirrels, rabbits, starlings, and crows. The problem is that feeding the birds in your yard always attracts those "pest" animals, too.

What that means is that if you get an abatement letter from the city, there's no good response other than to remove all wild animal food from your yard. Once the city becomes aware of a citizen complaint, they check from time to time to see if you are in compliance with their abatement letter.

The only feeder we have up any longer is a hummingbird feeder, which attracts just one hummingbird each year. She needs our feeder to help her raise her tiny brood. Her nest is just outside of my wife's office in the second bedroom in our house. I don't think the city of St. Paul considers humming birds to be a "pest" species.

[samnsara]

119. after St helens puked a foot of ash on our lawn we didnt mow it for awhile.. who wants that dust

..everywhere? Anyway hubby was working on our plumbing in the house and the doorbell rang. Hubby took his wrench with him to the door and it was an idiot neighbor telling us he was going to call the authorities if we didnt mow our lawn! I cant even remember the rest of the convo.. i remember hubby told him he wasnt going to mow the lawn with all that ash on it. So we didnt

this is why i live in the forest however i got a tweet from a neighbor at 4 am telling me my dog was barking. sigh...

[Gothmog]

123. trump supporters are paranoid idiots