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cilla4progress

(24,407 posts)
Sun Aug 9, 2020, 02:27 AM Aug 2020

Walp. 4 hour tour of crazytown.

Sadly, tonight I confirmed my friend of 40 years is a trumper. Simply confirmed suspicions.

She very genuinely implored of me that it not affect our friendship. My heart tells me to comply. She is more apolitical, I would say, but has drunk the kool-aid.

It got a little ugly due to a 4th person present. My husband was there and of course supported my arguments.

What to do, what to do.

I hate this.

20 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Walp. 4 hour tour of crazytown. (Original Post) cilla4progress Aug 2020 OP
Is she very religious? Buckeye_Democrat Aug 2020 #1
how does one support a xenophobe, misogynist, homophobe, etc, without being hateful Skittles Aug 2020 #7
Easy. She ignores evidence and focuses on what... Buckeye_Democrat Aug 2020 #8
You try to avoid talking politics if at all possible Sherman A1 Aug 2020 #2
I think cilla4progress Aug 2020 #13
Social distance until after the election. judeling Aug 2020 #3
Love your friends, they will be there after this is over. zaj Aug 2020 #4
Good cilla4progress Aug 2020 #12
Dunno cilla4progress Aug 2020 #16
It's entirely your choice zaj Aug 2020 #19
This! cilla4progress Aug 2020 #20
agree with this SiliconValley_Dem Aug 2020 #17
Maybe read your post on Thursday about trump being the devil. Tech Aug 2020 #5
I told her this! cilla4progress Aug 2020 #11
what is Walp? Skittles Aug 2020 #6
another way of saying "well..." Blue_Adept Aug 2020 #10
is this something new? Skittles Aug 2020 #14
I don't see it often in my travels but it's definitely not knew Blue_Adept Aug 2020 #15
They are Nazis. Voltaire2 Aug 2020 #9
sometimes people change cadoman Aug 2020 #18

Buckeye_Democrat

(14,838 posts)
1. Is she very religious?
Sun Aug 9, 2020, 02:38 AM
Aug 2020

A white evangelical is almost guaranteed to be a Trump supporter.

I've mostly avoided discussing politics with my evangelical sister for that reason, but it finally came up recently and she confirmed my fears.

She's NOT a hateful person, despite some of the generalizations to the contrary here. She's just very gullible and constantly concerned about upsetting God in some way, and guess who her TV preachers support?

She also struggles to believe in herself, probably because her critical thinking skills suck. She's full of self-doubt. So all it takes is some blowhard preacher to put doubts in her mind about being "right with God".

Skittles

(152,851 posts)
7. how does one support a xenophobe, misogynist, homophobe, etc, without being hateful
Sun Aug 9, 2020, 05:48 AM
Aug 2020

and how can someone fail to see that Trump DETESTS religion except when he can use it to exploit his idiotic followers?

Buckeye_Democrat

(14,838 posts)
8. Easy. She ignores evidence and focuses on what...
Sun Aug 9, 2020, 06:14 AM
Aug 2020

... some religious preacher says about it.

She supported Ben Carson during the 2016 primaries because he was a "true Christian", and she believed Carson when he said that Trump was chosen by God to lead this country.

I pointed out that stuff about Trump to her a few days ago, so maybe it sunk in somewhat? I doubt it, though. She knows that I'm not a believer, and it's the people who constantly declare their supposed Christianity that she really believes. Pointing out that they can LIE seems to often get ignored by her too.

She stopped attending my parents' Methodist church many years ago because it didn't require members to stand before everyone and DECLARE their belief in Jesus as their Lord and savior. Sure, and people can LIE doing that too... so what's the point?!

She's definitely not the type who would attend one of Trump's hate-rallies or behave like him, though. She would be guaranteed to point out those faults IF the preachers she respects pointed them out, though.

Edit: She's been obsessed with people SPEAKING about their devotion to Christianity for as long as I can recall. It's like nothing else matters to her, because that's like the only way to KNOW that person is Christian in her weird mind. (I guess deaf mutes are SOL?! Lol.)

Edit2: And thankfully QAnon doesn't promote Christianity very much, or she might follow that crap too. She brought them up the other day because her husband's idiot niece recommended it. I yelled into the phone, "Don't tell me that you're following that horseshit!" She answered, "No! I told (her husband's name) that I didn't see any reference to Jesus there, so we don't need to look at it anymore! It looked demonic to me!"

Sherman A1

(38,958 posts)
2. You try to avoid talking politics if at all possible
Sun Aug 9, 2020, 02:40 AM
Aug 2020

There’s a whole lot more in the world than just that. If you have mutual interests keep the conversation on those topics. If politics gets injected into the discussion, cut it off quickly or it will devolve into something you don’t want.

 

zaj

(3,433 posts)
4. Love your friends, they will be there after this is over.
Sun Aug 9, 2020, 04:14 AM
Aug 2020

Don't let this come between you. Avoid politics. Be friends. Get through it.

And work your ass off to defeat the administration so you can save your friendship.

cilla4progress

(24,407 posts)
16. Dunno
Tue Aug 11, 2020, 12:11 AM
Aug 2020

now I'm of the opposed mind on this. It's just too far over the line.

Esp. with drumpf now charging Obama with treason.

I think my old friend's views are dangerous - she's dangerous.

 

zaj

(3,433 posts)
19. It's entirely your choice
Tue Aug 11, 2020, 08:37 AM
Aug 2020

The (theoretically) right technique, is to pull them closer as friends:

https://jamesclear.com/why-facts-dont-change-minds

Facts Don't Change Our Minds. Friendship Does.
Convincing someone to change their mind is really the process of convincing them to change their tribe. If they abandon their beliefs, they run the risk of losing social ties. You can’t expect someone to change their mind if you take away their community too. You have to give them somewhere to go. Nobody wants their worldview torn apart if loneliness is the outcome.

The way to change people’s minds is to become friends with them, to integrate them into your tribe, to bring them into your circle. Now, they can change their beliefs without the risk of being abandoned socially.


But you have to have the energy and the will to do that. That part is for you to decide.

They way I have handeled it with my friends, is to leave the door open, to avoid politics when needed, but be willing to 'go there' when needed. But to mostly let them drift away a little (to save our sanity). And to keep in mind that this will be over and that their view will evolve once he's gone, even a little.

History will show them wrong, and they will feel that.

cilla4progress

(24,407 posts)
20. This!
Tue Aug 11, 2020, 09:48 AM
Aug 2020

Is perfect.

I agree that tribalism is at the root! And drumpf wields it like a 10 ton bomb!

Thanks!

cilla4progress

(24,407 posts)
11. I told her this!
Sun Aug 9, 2020, 10:04 AM
Aug 2020

antichrist too!

What I wish I'd also said is he's a failed real estate dealer from NY -.near where I grew up - and everyone there has known him as a hated racist thug all his life!

Blue_Adept

(6,378 posts)
15. I don't see it often in my travels but it's definitely not knew
Mon Aug 10, 2020, 08:52 AM
Aug 2020

But as we saw above, at least some folks are "Confused" by it.

cadoman

(792 posts)
18. sometimes people change
Tue Aug 11, 2020, 12:21 AM
Aug 2020

I pretty much lost a friend in 2016 due to politics. We just went separate directions in life and couldn't have a pleasant discussion any more. Our perceptions of the facts were just too different.

It's all about having some common ground, or enjoying fighting over the ground you don't have in common. Some personalities relish a sparring partner.

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