Obama Proposes Cancelling White House's Cable to Get Trump to Leave

[Rhiannon12866]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As Donald J. Trump refuses to commit to a peaceful transfer of power in January, former President Barack Obama suggested that cancelling the White House’s cable-TV account could induce the President to leave.

“This is a man who enjoys watching television,” Obama told reporters. “What if, on Inauguration Day, he picks up the remote and nothing comes on?”

“This seems like the most peaceful way to get him to go,” Obama said.

Obama also said that, in order to avoid a constitutional crisis, the White House’s supply of Diet Coke could also be cut off, but added, “I don’t think it will come to that.”

“Once it dawns on him that there’s no cable, his days will stretch out before him in a vista of emptiness,” Obama said. “No ‘Fox & Friends.’ No Tucker Carlson. And no Shark Week.”

“He’ll be on the next helicopter out,” Obama predicted.


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/obama-proposes-cancelling-white-houses-cable-to-get-trump-to-leave

[Blue Owl]

1. Bwah!

[LeftInTX]

2. Better yet, cancel it now! He'll quit campaigning!

[Stallion]

3. BRILLIANT!!!

[soothsayer]

4. Ha!

[Hoyt]

5. Funny.

[CatWoman]

6. LOL!!!!

[BootinUp]

7. I hope hes saved up a bunch of these, lol nt

[Hugin]

8. Just put a man-child blocker on it.

Nothing, but, NOVA and other hard science shows.

[VarryOn]

9. God, I hope we see a lot of him over the next few weeks...

he would add so much to the campaign.

[Generic Brad]

10. That is how to handle a bully

Mock and belittle him!

[Dem2theMax]

11. Has to be one of the funniest things I've read in ages.

And it would probably work!

[James48]

12. You know what is really bad?

It used to be pretty easy to identify when Borowitz was writing satire.

[Rhiannon12866]

13. You're right!

These days it's a toss up whether it's Andy Borowitz or LBN...

[uriel1972]

14. leave a trail of cocaine out the WH door

and you might be in luck.

[Sugarcoated]

15. Freaking hilarious

[Ilsa]

16. Cut internet and put a jammer on his phone

to eliminate his access to twitter, as well. He wouldn't be able to survive without whining online.

[Rhiannon12866]

17. I said a long time ago that we need to replace his (unsecured) phone:

[uriel1972]

19. he might, but the rest of us will feel better

without his online presence I'm sure

[Cha]

18. Pres Obama & Borowitz know their

subject.

[Gothmog]

20. "Operation 8 Piece",

Link to tweet

[Rhiannon12866]

23. LOL! Good one!

[LuvNewcastle]

21. Start doing random drug tests.

[Aussie105]

22. Other moves:

Turn off power to the WH. And water. Turn off the sewage system.

No phone charging, no toilet flushing? Kitchen staff walk out and open refrigerator doors on the way out.
Just wait a week!

Block deliveries of Depends, air freshener, newspapers, candles, diet Coke, KFC and other fast food orders.

Refuse to fly or fuel up the chopper, jet.

Make the Secret Service goons go out to eat and bring nothing back.

Yes, it's a thread done in joke - but who knows, Borowitz may be onto something.

[smirkymonkey]

24. K&R

I knew this was going to be Borowitz! Hilarious! Thanks Rhiannon!

[Rhiannon12866]

25. This is as good a suggestion as we've heard!

And DUers here have come up with a few more! I think we need to pass these along to the Biden campaign!

[backtoblue]

26. HA!

This is funny as hell!



Needed a laugh.

[Rhiannon12866]

27. I know!

Laughs are few and far between these days, so I'll also take all I can get!