I posted earlier that my dying mom looked like he did in those videos yesterday. Gasping for breath, panic in her eyes, trying to hang on. Then she would be fine for awhile, then I'd see the rising panic and the struggle would start all over again. It was horrific to watch and still gives me nightmares. She wasn't the best mom, but I loved her and she didn't deserve to die like that. I often wake up unable to breathe and it is the worst hell imaginable. I have the type of sleep apnea where my respiratory system actually shuts down as opposed to the obstructive kind, so it takes me about 15 minutes to breathe normally again after an episode, but until then, I have to talk myself down from utter madness until I can get my lungs to take in air again. What my mom went through was so much worse, but the anxiety is off the charts. All you want to do is get a full breath and you can't.
Trump will always turn around and do something really horrible after I allow myself to feel compassion for him. After that, I feel dirty and ashamed, so I've been trying to squelch any compassion for the man whenever it tries to well up and instead focus it on the millions of healthcare workers he's condemned to a living hell, especially with his comments yesterday. I try to focus my compassion on all the families suffering with loved ones in the hospital with Covid, like my co-worker. I try focus my compassion on those who are out of work or are struggling for food because the demonic GOP won't throw the Americans who actually pay taxes a goddamned crumb. Trump essentially condemned 250,000 Americans to horrific deaths. I think about that when I know the living hell that awaits him, and yet, he still won't give a shit as he's gasping for his dying breath.
= new reply since forum marked as read
