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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsBen Carson Wondering Where Everyone at White House Has Gone
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)Ben Carson, the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, is wondering where everyone at the White House has gone, Carson has confirmed.
Carson showed up unannounced at the White House on Thursday morning, just to say hi, and was surprised to find the building virtually deserted.
I was wondering if there was some holiday I didnt know about, Carson said. I know there are a lot of holidays that Jewish people celebrate this time of year, but that just explains why Jared and Ivanka werent there. Its kind of a head-scratcher.
The H.U.D. Secretary was also trying to make sense of the presence of cleaning crews throughout the White House, but couldnt figure it out.
Maybe there was a big party theyre cleaning up after, he said. To be honest, I would be kind of hurt if I hadnt been invited. Unless, of course, it was a party to celebrate one of those Jewish holidays. Im not Jewish, like Jared and Ivanka. Still, that must have been one heck of a Jewish-holiday party, if thats what occurred.
Carson said that he was prepared to accept the mystery of why the White House was deserted. Its like the pyramids of Egypt, he said. For years, no one knew that they were used to store grain, and then it all became clear. Someday we may know why the White House was deserted. And then it will all make sense.
Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/ben-carson-wondering-where-everyone-at-white-house-has-gone
Photograph by Stefani Reynolds / dpa / Alamy
PatSeg
(47,541 posts)Claustrum
(4,845 posts)He doesn't. He is just there to do nothing and collect his paychecks.
Captain Zero
(6,818 posts)Although he should.
soothsayer
(38,601 posts)Rhiannon12866
(205,664 posts)These days, everything he says is entirely believable.
keithbvadu2
(36,836 posts)They are out shoveling grain into the pyramids.