what president Biden's first executive orders should be (not serious ones)

[Amishman]

my pick:

Declaring that Chicago style pizza is not pizza but instead is a casserole

your suggestions? (though lets keep this light hearted please)

[kirkuchiyo]

1. That the three

most recent Star Wars movies are non canon and require them to be stricken from the record and re-written by someone who isn't a complete idiot .

[Shermann]

22. What about the prequels? Why stop at three?? nt

[leftieNanner]

2. In the same pizza vein

Pineapple on pizza is a crime against humanity. (Go ahead DU, Flame Away!)

I like this thread!

[Amishman]

14. Yes, this one too! Pizza Reform 2021!!!

one more reason to vote for Joe!

[Wicked Blue]

41. Pineapple on pizza is an abomination

unto the Pizza Goddess

[TygrBright]

3. Making any form of pumpkin spice flavoring a Schedule 1 controlled substance. n/t

[Throckmorton]

29. Even in pumpkin pie?

I will have to check my chickens for purple feet (obscure armageddon reference from Sybil).

[TygrBright]

35. "Pumpkin spice flavoring" isn't used in pumpkin pie, just allspice, cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves. n/t

[dchill]

4. No red baseball caps.

Unless you're a pro baseball player actually baseballing.

[Wounded Bear]

18. Wait! I have a red baseball cap with a USMC emblem on it I was hoping to wear some day.

[dchill]

36. Can't you get a blue one?

[MANative]

5. That employers must provide

at least 15 minutes of paid time each day to watch dog and/or cat videos on company internet devices.

[underpants]

7. LOL

[unblock]

15. that doesn't happen already?

[MANative]

23. Of course! But we HR people like to codify things formally!

[GoCubsGo]

37. Twice per day.

Need morning and afternoon cat/dog breaks.

[Chainfire]

6. If Donald Trump hired you, just go home...now. We will send you your stuff.

[Hamer555]

8. More rock, less talk

[Chainfire]

9. If Donald Trump hired you, just go home...now. We will send you your stuff.

[Leghorn21]

10. Free laundry service

Drivers pick up and drop off your laundry at your place of residence at your convenience

[leftieNanner]

17. Adding to that:

Vacuuming and Dusting!

[LakeArenal]

11. Trump properties declared Toxic waste sites.

[Hamer555]

12. Free onions!!!

[cayugafalls]

28. Tears for all!

[Chainfire]

13. Get rid of the mattresses!

[ZZenith]

16. Send ZZenith whatever's left in the Treasury.

[backtoblue]

19. Declaring tomatoes to be vegetables and Pluto a planet again.

[Dirty Socialist]

20. Ban fast food in the White House

Every food request must go through the White House chef.

[OAITW r.2.0]

21. Turn Trump Tower into low cost housing.

[LibfromtheNorth]

24. In memory of George Carlin

Trump will be the 8th word you can't say on TV

[Bradshaw3]

32. Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner!

A great honor for Carlin and boy would it be great to never that word or see that face again.

[MyOwnPeace]

33. Oh, yeah!!!!!!!!!!

[Nac Mac Feegle]

38. No. Just replace tits with Tr**p as the 7th word

In the routine, he says that tits doesn't even belong on the list. It sounds like a snack food: Tater Tits.


--Way too obsessed with Mr Carlin, one of the greatest.

[bluecollar2]

25. Effective immediately

All Americans will be required to watch the complete works of Monty Python prior to graduation from high school.

[cayugafalls]

31. There are a great many people in the country today, who through no fault of their own, are sane.

and in honor of dump and the pee tape...

Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

[empedocles]

34. 'farcical aquatic ceremony'

[bluecollar2]

39. Removing a sword from a stone in a lake

Will replace the electoral college...

[cayugafalls]

26. Nabisco shall offer build your own Oreo's.

No more twisting off the cookie part and messing up the cream filling.

[Democrat 4 Ever]

27. That the first cadets drafted for the Space Corp

for a one-way trip to another galaxy, be the Orange Cheeto Crime Family and his sycophants. They can take their red hats, godawful flags, misspelled signs and warped patriotism to settle another planet. Sorry, not sorry, that got political. Let some other being deal with them. I’d like to think there is a mean, nasty thing out there just waiting for him.

[Brainfodder]

30. Parkways and driveways must be changed to the other!

[Wicked Blue]

40. Amen to that

NJ-NY pizza is the only real pizza