Newly Elected QAnon Congresswoman Worried She's Selling Out By Working With Pedophile Cabal

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

ALPHARETTA, GA—As the glow of her victory dimmed and the reality of what she’d agreed to do finally dawned on her, newly elected QAnon-supporting Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) was reportedly worried Wednesday morning that she was selling out by going to work with a pedophile cabal. “I mean, Congress is rife with dozens, if not hundreds, of Satanists who sell kids into sex slavery, and I really signed up to go work with them? What’s wrong with me?” said Greene, who said that although she knew anyone running for office would have to make some compromises, she wondered how she was going to maintain her anti-pedophile credentials if she willingly worked alongside all the child molesters in Congress. “Only a complete and utter sellout would spend all this time railing against the House of Representatives, one of the centers of the global sex-trafficking ring that President Trump is nobly trying to fight against, and then sign up to join them. Where is my sense of ethics? Try to change things from the inside, I told myself—fat chance. If I could talk to a younger version of myself, all full of hope that we could successfully dismantle the global child-trafficking ring, I just hope she would still respect me.” At press time, an increasingly remorseful Greene was reportedly considering giving her seat up altogether after receiving a call from House minority leader Kevin McCarthy informing her that she would receive an assignment to sit on the House Subcommittee For Adrenochrome Harvesting.

https://www.theonion.com/newly-elected-qanon-congresswoman-worried-she-selling-o-1845574440?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2020-11-05

[MuseRider]

1. Perhaps resignation

would suit her better?

[lagomorph777]

10. Yeah, she'll be very uncomfortable with all that demon semen and alien blood served in the cafeteria

[ananda]

12. Exactly

That would suit me too.

[hlthe2b]

2. It is ever so disturbing that The Onion pieces are so close to reality.

I would believe about half of what they publish lately as real.

[MuseRider]

3. ARGHHHH

Got me.

[MerryBlooms]

5. I would bet there are more than a few Qnuts who are contemplating this question.

[lagomorph777]

11. OMG - I totally missed that! Satire is now literally impossible.

[oswaldactedalone]

4. Damn, the onion

So believable.

[blm]

7. OK, Marjorie, name them. File police reports. Or, you KNOW you're lying

just to be famous.

Heheheh.

[keithbvadu2]

8. Even though this article is false, the reality is that she will be working with people she believes

Even though this article is false, the reality is that she will be working with people she believes are pedophiles?

[happybird]

9. Dammit! That one got me

[I_UndergroundPanther]

13. If she can't handle reality that her

Conspirasy is a lie..She should get out.
She's unfit for the job.

[Lokee11]

14. Not Funny

But it is interesting, that the only one I know of to have ever been formerly accused of raping a 13 year old with his buddy Epstein, is the Orange one that she says is, "nobly trying to fight against" the global sex trafficking ring.

It is truly hard not to believe that every single thing these people complain about is not projection.

FDT!

[SayitAintSo]

15. DANG!!!

You got me on that one ! I thought holy crap! You know I almost sent that to someone, thinking it was real. And the ONLY reason I thought it was real because it sounds just like my sister ( coincidentally, in Georgia ) who has been abducted by Invasion of the QAnon Body Snatchers, who hasn't spoken to me since April since she hung up on me during a discussion about QAnon...BTW... been lurking on here for well over a decade, don't post much, have been thrown in time out once or twice, but I have ALWAYS loved your 'nom de plume'....when I saw that on this post I thought, now that's funny...😁

[Laelth]

16. Onion. Thank you.

I got a good fifty words in before I became suspicious.

-Laelth