BROKEN: Trump Goes on Renaming Spree - Defies Constitution

[MineralMan]

President Trump Declares Himself King of America - Says Constitution Doesn't Apply to Him


by Lottsa Huwee

In a surprise Executive Order, Donald J. Trump has summarily changed the titles used for himself and his family. He claims (without any authority to do so) that the Constitution of the United States refers to the President of the United States, and no longer applies to him, following this official renaming process.

Spokesmodel Kaylee Maganinny, speaking in the Press Room, said, "King Donald the First has done something amazing today. Since he is no longer a President, the Constitution no longer applies to him. He will reign as King for the rest of his life, and members of his family will succeed him, much as things are in the United Kingdom. Hereafter, all references to Donald J. Trump will use the terminology in the Executive Order." After her brief statement, she handed out copies of the Executive Order to the gobsmacked press that had assembled.

Here are the new titles for the newly-named "Royal Family:"

Donald J. Trump - Emperor King of the Americas
Melania Trump - Royal Princess of America
Ivanka Trump - Princess Ivanka of America
Donald J. Trump, Jr. - Crown Prince of America
Eric Trump - Prince Eric
Barron Trump - Prince of the Realm
Husbands and wives of the Princes and Princess will bear the titles of "Lord" and "Lady," followed by their given names, e.g.: Lord Jared Kushner and Lady Lara Trump.

Reaction from the Press Room was dropped jaws and silence, then punctuated with cries of "What the fuck?".

Maganinny ended the press briefing by saying, "All Hail His Imperial Highness!"

[TheBlackAdder]

1. He's about ready to rename the Potomac River to DeNile River.

[5X]

2. Good thing u used the sarcasm tag

otherwise, believable.

[MineralMan]

4. I had to start doing that, along with other signals of satire,

because satirizing Trump is a major challenge.

[5X]

6. I know, statement about these times. n/t

[dalton99a]

3. Trump challenges eviction, dares Biden to fight his Praetorian Guard

[MineralMan]

5. Nice photo!

[Pantagruel]

7. Borowitz ' job is safe

but overall a commendable effort.

[MineralMan]

8. I'm not looking for work.

Writing satire is my hobby.

[malaise]

17. Hehehehehhe

and we love it

[MineralMan]

20. Heh-heh...

[Pobeka]

9. And the MSM, NPR, PBS said "it is unprecedented".

And once again failed to say it was unethical, immoral or illegal.

All right -- that comment wasn't sarcastic, but the SO and I are really tired of hearing "unprecedented".

[MineralMan]

10. Good followup.

[DonaldsRump]

11. How dare anyone make fun of poor Barron...

...C'mon, folks: be best.

[MineralMan]

12. Barron was an afterthought for Trump.

He almost forgot to mention him.

[Turin_C3PO]

13. Excellent work!

Actually, I wouldn't put it past him to attempt something like this. He's a certified nutcase indeed.

[MineralMan]

14. Thanks!

[Firestorm49]

15. Thanks, MineralMan. I needed that.

[MineralMan]

18. Glad to help!

[Pantagruel]

16. This group would appreciate

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100214522226

[MineralMan]

19. Cool. I'm sure Trump has retained them.

but, I hope they don't hold their breath until they get paid.