This just in! Donald Trump is still a loser!
I woke up this morning and guess what? Donald Trump still lost the election-by a lot. I'm no fortune teller, but I'm willing to bet that I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning and he's still going to be a loser. And everybody, I mean EVERYBODY, in the world knows it. Some little island in the middle of the Pacific. If you live there, you know he's a loser. A remote tribal village in the heart of Africa? They know he's a loser. Scientific outposts in Antarctica? They know he's a loser. And every day he throws a hissy fit and tries to pretend he's not a loser, the top story is "Trump is a Loser". So keep it up Donny. I'm sure the top story on Sunday is going to be you're a loser too, and every news show will take up their entire hour discussing the fact that you're a loser. Be sure to tune in. I always thought the word Trump would be redefined by your tenure in office, I just couldn't figure out what referring to something with the world "Trump" would mean. Now I know. It will be a synonym for LOSER! Congratulations.
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