My daughter's been exposed. Updated - and my wife.

[Ms. Toad]

Last edited Sun Nov 15, 2020, 11:36 AM - Edit history (1)

I've been grumbling in a number of threads about needing to wear my mask in my own home because my daughter and spouse are not being safe.

Well - turns out it's a good thing I started taking precautions when I did.

My daughter has been sharing meals with the foster siblings of her homeless friend - one of whom has now tested positive (and has symptoms).

My conversation with her two days ago (begging her to wear a mask with anyone outside of the household) seems to have led to her making things worse, since she felt like she had to solve her own problems. After she learned she was exposed, she drove around most of the night with her homeless buddy who had also been exposed, and apparently spent all day today with the symptomatic positive person on the theory that she was already exposed so what difference did it make. Then she decided to do a mail order test - covered by insurance, but it will likely take far longer than the corner drugstore to get tested and hav results.

In case any of you don't know - quantity of exposure matters. If you find yourself exposed, don't just give up and assume you'll get COVID. The longer the exposure, the more likely you are to get sick and the worse it is likley to be. STAY AWAY from the source of exposure, if you can.

After I get done being mad, I'll be more worried about my daughter than myself (she has an auto-immune disorder involving the liver (a target of COVID).) But right now I'm just exhausted from the past few days of worry since my conversations with her and my spouse, and didn't really expect my fears to materialize.

. . . and I'm still waiting on my spouse's office mate's COVID results. (He also has symptoms.)

Update: And my wife was also exposed, although not as significantly. Her office mate (the one whose office she hangs out with & regularly has lunch with) was out Monday with symptoms and awaiting testing. He has tested negative, but his wife tested positive. He decided to go into the office Wednesday (3 days after his symptoms started) to pick up mail. Again with the brain familiy brain glitches - "It's OK, he never goes into our offices." Yes, but - he goes in the public areas you share and that public area is specifically where he went. Fortunately, the time in the office was brief. He probably wore a mask. No one else was there at the time. My wife was there later in the day.

Not even knowing this was going on, Wednesday was the day I started wearing a mask at home.

[MLAA]

1. Omgoodness

I am so sorry you have so much to worry about. 💕

[Ms. Toad]

12. Thanks.

I really didn't need one more thing.

[cry baby]

2. It must feel like a tidal wave in your life and the lives of your loved ones.

Sending healing thoughts. You stay safe as you can.

[Ms. Toad]

13. More like an undertow, dragging us all out to sea.

[cry baby]

22. (((((hugs)))))

[Chili]

3. oh no oh no

So so sorry your daughter has been exposed, and hoping she doesn't develop symptoms. Please take care of yourself, you and your husband, and hoping your daughter backs away and does too.

[Ms. Toad]

7. That's going to be a delicate challenge, as to my daughter.

It's possible this will be a wake-up call for my wife.

Her friend think's it's all a conspiracy (I wasn't aware that his paranoia ran in that direction). Once we get past this, I'll have to work on some strategies with her to keep her safe. She said he wasn't always wearing a mask (and I knew he wasn't wearing one around her), but apparently he's not wearing one around anyone.

Assuming she gets away without catching it, she has to have some strategies to put her (and our) safety ahead of hurting his feelings. He's so isolated he needs his foster family - but I suggested a few minutes ago that she doesn't need to be part of that family (or at least can make sure that she ALWAYS wears a mask around them.) That's when the disclosure about his feelings it's all a conspiracy came out.

We'll have to wrestle with how hard we put out feet down. I've been of a mind that I'd rather have him on our deck than on the streets - but this added risk (with our daughter unwilling to put our lives above his feelings) is pushing me in the other direction.

Ugh. For now, I'm focusing on getting through the next couple of weeks.

[LisaL]

9. Since she spend a lot of time with an infected person, you have to consider that

she could already be infected. If she lives at home, she should be in isolation (in her room).

[Ms. Toad]

11. I'm treating her as infected.

She's going to be mostly in isolation - either in her room or in a tent on the deck with her buddy (who also has to be presumed to be infected).

[Chili]

15. you have a tough challenge ahead of you

... and some ongoing stress with your daughter. I hope you can get through to her, especially with wearing the mask. But she does need to isolate. I pray you can get her to do that.

[Ms. Toad]

26. I may have coerced my wife into behaving.

But it was close to a knock-down drag-out fight.

I hope it made an impression when my response to who exposed our daughter was, "She did - by not wearing a mask when she was around what she perceived as a safe small circle of friends."

[Chili]

39. big hugs to all of you

I wish you all the best - you're so fortunate to have each other as you go through this.

[joshcryer]

4. I'm so sorry to hear this Ms. Toad. I hope you and the family are well.

Best wishes. And thanks for posting. This is no joke. We need to be careful. My mom has COPD, last thing I want in the world is for her to get this thing. I don't think she'll make it (75, on 4 psi oxygen at all times).

[Ms. Toad]

8. Double masking at home now.

Bleaching everything until I can get something virus specific, an drunning the air purifier thorugh several complete air circulations anyplace she's been.

[joshcryer]

19. Went on a trip three weeks ago, was on a plane for 16 total hours...

...wound up self-quarantining for 2 weeks when I got back. Luckily didn't exhibit symptoms (I was extremely careful during the trip, wore an N95 mask the whole time). If I did get it, it should've run its course on me.

Fingers crossed going forward. It's a really trying time. And it appears to be surging again.

[pnwmom]

5. I am SO GLAD you decided to do what you could to protect yourself.

[Ms. Toad]

14. So am I.

I was being pretty pissy about it - not really expecting the risk to materialize so quickly. But I'm glad I didn't wait.

[Meowmee]

6. So sorry what a terrible situation

I am glad you started wearing a mask. Your daughter needs to stay in her room and wear a mask when in other areas until she is cleared, really it should be at least 2 weeks because it can take that long for symptoms to start. And the test can be wrong. If she can, start vit d, vit c, melatonin and maybe lysine as well.

No one should be socializing with anyone outside of immediate family at this point.

[Ms. Toad]

10. Agreed.

At least she was responsible and notified Starbucks right away. She's on isolation for 2 weeks.

She'll have two tests in that period (the one from the local drug store and the one she ordered online).

She's still planning on camping in a tent on the deck - partly to protect us. I'm hoping to encourage her to stay in her room.

[Meowmee]

16. Great

I am hoping the best for all of you. When I had it, I stayed in my room moslty, my mask on when I came out when no one was there. I was so worried. I had already exposed my family because I thought it was bronchitis at first, but they did not get it. We are not sure because they had other symptoms but they did not get pneumonia etc. my father had neuro symptoms and ended up in er after falling but it was a few weeks later, test was neg. my brother was never tested at all. Good thing to have two tests.

I also sterilized my bathroom every time I used it just in case.

[madinmaryland]

17. Our daughter has been exposed and test positive on Tuesday.

She had symptoms on Thursday of last week, but did not come home (ours) until Monday and has been in isolation upstairs since then.

My wife and I are super stressed. I would say more, but I cannot verbalize my feelings.

[Ms. Toad]

20. Sorry!

Stay safe!

I really struggle - right now I want to strangle her. She knows how serious this is and doesn't care enought about herself or us to stand up to a homeless kid she befriended and insist that he wear a mask.

That gets in the way of expressing (or maybe is more comfortable for me to feel than) the terror I feel at the possibility that she (or the rest of us) could be at risk of dying or being permanently injured.

[LisaL]

23. Worst part was spending a whole day with an infected person after she already knew he was infected.

Considering she has an immune problem, what in the world was she thinking? Does she herself believe that covid is a hoax?

[Ms. Toad]

25. No. She didn't understand the concept of viral load.

She figured that since she was already exposed she was already going to get it - so it was better to stay there than come home.

She was hit with a diagnosis that had a prognosis of an average of 10 years until death or transplant when she was 19 (she's now 30). Early in that disease, she took an incredible number of sexual risks - engaging in risky behavior is not uncommon when you are given a life-threatening diagnosis at that age. It also triggered depression and anxiety - and a fatalistic attitude about a lot of things.

So understanding and caring enough to take the steps necessary to (or believing they actually will) protect you don't come easily for her. And sometimes she shuts out information when it is too overwhelming. For a long time after her diagnosis, I had to keep track of her symptoms from what I could observe - since she tuned out what she was feeling. So - as to COVID - she had tuned out information about viral load, and really thought of exposure as binary (you're exposed - or not).

[Maru Kitteh]

18. Damn. Who wouldn't be mad, and worried. What an awful clusterfuck this all is.

My best wishes to all that you stay well.


2020

[nini]

21. If she's of age she needs to go

Holy crap you can’t live like that 😞

Sorry, I haven’t read all your posts on this but I hope things turn out ok and some control occurs.

[radius777]

24. A pulse-ox is a good device to use while recovering.

I have a few friends who got covid, and they had good care, were told to use a pulse-ox device at home and if it dropped below a certain level to call the doctors and possibly go in for observation (did not happen, they recovered ok). They were given the device by their doctors but it can be purchased for $50 or less from Amazon, CVS etc.

https://coronavirus.medium.com/whats-the-deal-with-pulse-oximeters-b3feea3dfe2b
However, a pulse oximeter could be helpful for people who suspect they have Covid-19 but are not sure whether they should go to the hospital, or for those who have tested positive for Covid-19 but felt their symptoms were otherwise mild. A low oxygen reading would suggest silent hypoxia caused by Covid-19 pneumonia, a symptom that requires hospital treatment. This very useful New York Times Q&A on pulse oximeters described the story of one Philadelphia emergency room physician who had stayed home after testing positive for Covid-19 but checked herself into the hospital after she got a pulse oximeter reading of 88% blood oxygen saturation, which fell below the “healthy” cutoff of 92%.

[Ms. Toad]

36. Got one when I had a cough a few weeks ago (about $20, if I remember correctly)

Daughter's pulse-ox was 97 tonight.

I've been checking regularly, since it seems to be a far more reliable early warning sign than temperature.

(One thing I've discovered - don't check right when you come out to the shower. The water saturation in the fingers make it read incredibly low.)

[Buckeye_Democrat]

27. I'm so sorry!

You've been one of the more knowledgeable and diligent posters about Covid here, so it must be especially flummoxing to have that happen to your closest loved ones.

I hope she'll be okay!

I just reminded my sister earlier tonight (phone) that lower initial exposure will tend to result in less severe symptoms. I've told her that in the past, but she acted like it was the first time that she heard it.

Her daughter-in-law is very sick after she took an hours-long car ride with her infected brother. Yet our infected sister-in-law, who is much older and doesn't know how she got it, is doing pretty well.

[Ace Rothstein]

28. It is so widespread and out of control that we've all probably been exposed in the last few weeks.

Unless you don't leave your house.

[Ms. Toad]

30. Well . . . by exposed, I mean unmasked for an extended period of time

to a COVID positive symptomatic person.

But despite how widespread it is, even if everyone in Ohio who has had ever COVID had it currently - it is still around 2.5% of the population.

[radius777]

40. If you wear a proper mask and eye protection

it's highly unlikely you'll ever get it.

The best masks are the n95 or the surgical blue ones, which are better than the cloth types (including the cloth ones with the filter).

For eye protection the clear safety glasses they sell at hardware stores (like Home Depot) work well, also sun glasses work. Most people don't need the entire face shield unless they are are front line worker.

[Ms. Toad]

45. I wear glasses except when asleep. N/t

[Silver1]

29. How it went in our family

My spouse and I had Covid last March. We were pretty sick for about 3+ weeks but testing was scarce at the time and we didn't have confirmation it was Covid. I had completely lost my sense of taste and smell, and we both could tell this "flu" felt different somehow from previous ones, so we were pretty sure. Our adult daughter lives at home with us and had no symptoms.

Months later, we both tested positive for Covid antibodies, but our daughter did not. She was exposed but didn't catch it.

Although we took precautions later, during the most infectious stage of the illness, just as we were beginning to feel symptoms, we shared everything with her.

I really don't understand how she didn't get sick, except that neither I nor my spouse had any sneezing or sinus symptoms. So if it was spreading into the environment it would have been through contact only. We washed our hands like lunatics though to try to protect her. Later in the illness, I did develop a frightening cough which lasted 1.5 days but thankfully cleared.

I hope this is a small consolation to you -- you can protect yourself even if someone in the household has it. Be relentless about hygiene and distancing like you have been already.

[Ms. Toad]

32. Thanks.

I'm generally pretty good about avoiding things - but this is far more contagious than anything else we've been around.

[blogslut]

31. I'll scream for you

Stay strong, Ms. Toad

[Ms. Toad]

33. Thanks - the scream felt good! n/t

[58Sunliner]

34. I'm so sorry. That sounds really scary and stressful.

Hoping for the best for all.

[Ms. Toad]

38. Thanks! n/t

[MustLoveBeagles]

35. Oh no

This has to be terrifying. The best of luck to you, your wife and daughter. I hope everything turns out alright for all of you.

[Ms. Toad]

37. Thanks! n/t

[lunatica]

41. If she does get sick I hope she recovers completely.

Hugs to you and your family.

[Ms. Toad]

44. She tends to,

But her overactive immune system puts her at risk for a cytokine storm.

[lunatica]

53. The treatment has improved a lot

I’ve read they’ve developed medication that can lessen the impact of the virus that they can apply earlier. They’re not as much in the dark as they were at first.

I’m hoping for the best for everyone who gets sick.

[Ms. Toad]

43. That would be an easy choice, but she lives here,

And my spouse is just as bad.

[malaise]

46. Damn

Hope you're all negative

[Ms. Toad]

47. Crossing our fingers. N/t

[Lucinda]

48. ❤️ ✿❧🌿❧✿ ❤️

[Ms. Toad]

49. Thanks!

[Ms. Toad]

50. Update bump. n/t

[LuckyCharms]

51. Hoping for the best outcome, Ms. Toad...

[Ms. Toad]

52. Thanks -

Preparing to make one last outing before my daughter starts showing symptoms, since once she shows symptoms I'm out for 2 weeks, as well.

[tavernier]

54. My three grandkids in their 20s and 30s were diagnosed last week.

Five days later they were all symptom-free and feeling fine. Wishing the same for you.