Trump Furious After White House H.R. Schedules His Exit Interview

[Rhiannon12866]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump was reportedly furious after the White House’s Human Resources Department notified him that it had scheduled his exit interview, the head of H.R. has revealed.

Carol Foyler, the H.R. chief who was the target of Trump’s wrath, said that the exit interview is a “valuable tool” to help make the White House a better working environment.

“Everyone who leaves the White House has to participate in an exit interview,” she said. “That was true of the nine thousand people who left during the past four years.”

The H.R. executive said that she hoped that the interview could help Trump explore any workplace issues that led to his departure.

“The previous three people who had his job held it for eight years and he only lasted four,” she said. “It would be helpful to get his perspective on why things didn’t work out for him here.”


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-furious-after-white-house-hr-schedules-his-exit-interview



Photograph by Martin H. Simon / Bloomberg / Getty

[underpants]

1. the nine thousand people who left during the past four years.

[ProfessorGAC]

2. That Got Me Too!

Made me LOL!

[Rhiannon12866]

18. That line made me laugh, too!

[Blue Owl]

3. Bwah!

[Hermit-The-Prog]

4. Don't slow him down with an interview! Maybe sing him out the door ...

[H2O Man]

5. Recommended.

There is reason to suspect that Trump will refuse to participate in this interview. If so, I would be willing to sit down in his place, and explain exactly why he was fired.

[Doreen]

10. Can I go with you?

[H2O Man]

12. Yes!

[Brother Mythos]

6. I knew it had to be Borowitz, as soon as I read the thread title.

Thanks for posting it, I needed a good laugh today!

[Rhiannon12866]

19. Thanks! And same here!

And this has to be one of my favorites!

[MissMillie]

7. A common question...

"Any person, living or dead, who would you invite to a dinner party?"

Borowitz would definitely be on my guest list.

Too funny

[GeoWilliam750]

15. I always have to check if it is Borowitz or the Onion

[marble falls]

8. Dammit! You had my hopes up!!!

[Rhiannon12866]

20. Well, you've got to admit this was an awfully good one

The best ones hit closest to the truth...

[marble falls]

21. Andy Borowitz is this generation's Art Buchwald ...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Art_Buchwald

Buchwald enjoyed the notoriety he received when U.S. President Dwight Eisenhower's press secretary, Jim Hagerty, took seriously a spoof press conference report claiming that reporters asked questions about the president's breakfast habits. After Hagerty called his own conference to denounce the article as "unadulterated rot," Buchwald famously retorted, "Hagerty is wrong. I write adulterated rot."[5] On August 24, 1959, TIME magazine, in reviewing the history of the European edition of The Herald Tribune, reported that Buchwald's column had achieved an "institutional quality."

Buchwald returned to the United States in 1962. He wrote as a columnist for The Washington Post'', frequently commenting on the political scene. When once asked where he got his ideas, he said simply that he read the newspaper every day. He could not make up the absurd situations that were reported. His column was syndicated by Tribune Media Services. His column appeared in more than 550 newspapers at its height. He also wrote memoirs and other books, a total of more than 30 in his lifetime. He also contributed fumetti to Marvel Comics' Crazy Magazine, which tore apart statistics regarding 1970s campus life.




I heard an interview with him shortly before he died. He was asked why he became a humor writer, he replied that it was either that or become an axe murderer.

I think Andy's answer would be similar.

[BobTheSubgenius]

9. Andy, Andy, Andy...

What are you going to do, come February?

[George II]

11. You got me. I read halfway through that and said to myself, "wait a minute, that's Borowitz!"

[machoneman]

13. Fun-EEEEEEEE!

[brer cat]

14. It's always a good time for a Borowitz column.

[yellowcanine]

16. Okay I admit it. YOU GOT ME! Well done!

[flibbitygiblets]

17. I look forward to the day when Borowitz and the Onion are relevant again

and we aren't all living their creations