Ask the Trump University Law School!

[struggle4progress]

Q: Dear TULS:

Suppose I belonged to a crime family and was cheating on my taxes. What should I do if I got cacheted?

(signed) Just curious and asking for a friend

A: Dear Curious:

Since this has been a very popular question, we gave it a lot of thought. First, it is important that everyone in your family be as rude and obnoxious as possible to as many other people as possible: this will be key to your defense. Second, hire the worst lawyer you can find: our very own Rudy Gee can help you with that. Your counsel will conduct press conferences, screaming about Communist plots; will craft legal arguments, explaining that you are a victim of anti-conservative prejudice; and will collect unrelated affidavits to submit to the court. We also recommend that you have the chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee contact the judge. Later, if necessary, your lawyer can also help you draft an appeal based on the fact that you were represented by incompetent counsel.

[5X]

1. Did you hear about the satellite school?

Guliani University of Lawyering. GUL