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Sat Dec 5, 2020, 04:16 AM

Moms Covid - update :(

update to - https://www.democraticunderground.com/100214633642

she went to the hosp the other day, they addressed her UTI and fractured ankle from a recent fall but said she didnt have any symptoms of covid so they sent her back to her nursing home yesterday - today I got a frantic call from the home - they were sending her back to the hosp - she was having trouble breathing, was confused and they could not stabilize her oxygen - she was rushed in - put in ICU - the doc called me and asked me if she would want to be saved with 'heroic measures' - CPR, life support etc

I didnt really know what to say - I dont really understand all this covid treatment stuff but I also have had to answer those types of questions for her before - I asked him what he recommends - we discussed what her quality of life was before this happened - based on that he said we should try treating the covid and if she responds to treatment he feels like she can be back to her usual self - IF she responds....

but if she doesnt respond to treatment, and she goes into cardiac arrest - no pulse etc - they wont try to revive her - because if it went that far and they revived her & she survived that...she wouldnt be the same - no quality of life.....

they are giving her steroids, anti-biotics, plasma w antibodies - they put her to sleep and intubated her.....now we wait and see if she responds.....



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Arrow 44 replies Author Time Post
Reply Moms Covid - update :( (Original post)
TalenaGor Dec 2020 OP
Rhiannon12866 Dec 2020 #1
TalenaGor Dec 2020 #2
pnwest Dec 2020 #3
TalenaGor Dec 2020 #4
Raine Dec 2020 #5
Doodley Dec 2020 #6
Tanuki Dec 2020 #7
MFM008 Dec 2020 #8
Meowmee Dec 2020 #9
PoindexterOglethorpe Dec 2020 #10
mercuryblues Dec 2020 #11
malaise Dec 2020 #12
UpInArms Dec 2020 #13
orwell Dec 2020 #14
Jay25 Dec 2020 #15
denbot Dec 2020 #16
irisblue Dec 2020 #17
gademocrat7 Dec 2020 #18
mrs_p Dec 2020 #19
vercetti2021 Dec 2020 #20
Trueblue Texan Dec 2020 #21
samnsara Dec 2020 #22
niyad Dec 2020 #23
pansypoo53219 Dec 2020 #24
jeffreyi Dec 2020 #33
pansypoo53219 Dec 2020 #38
jeffreyi Dec 2020 #39
pansypoo53219 Dec 2020 #42
BSdetect Dec 2020 #25
mopinko Dec 2020 #29
Demsrule86 Dec 2020 #26
Greybnk48 Dec 2020 #27
crickets Dec 2020 #28
TalenaGor Dec 2020 #30
Atticus Dec 2020 #31
live love laugh Dec 2020 #32
Hekate Dec 2020 #34
Withywindle Dec 2020 #35
blogslut Dec 2020 #36
smirkymonkey Dec 2020 #37
EndlessWire Dec 2020 #40
Ms. Toad Dec 2020 #41
DeminPennswoods Dec 2020 #43
JudyM Dec 2020 #44

Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 04:23 AM

1. Oh, I am so sorry you're going through this - and for your Mom!

I went through something similar several years ago when my mother fell down the stairs during a hurricane related blackout, she was in ICU for 3 weeks, so I can empathize, it is so hard. Wishing all the best for your Mom and remember to take special care of yourself.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Reply #1)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 04:29 AM

2. ty - she also has pneumonia in both lungs :(

AND my cousin is in the same boat but not quite as bad - not intubated at this time...

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 04:33 AM

3. I'm so very sorry you're going through

this. Itís horrible and helpless and heartbreaking.

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Response to pnwest (Reply #3)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 04:41 AM

4. ty - shes in Tacoma General - they were the ones who saved her last time...

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 04:42 AM

5. I'm so sorry 💔

I'm sending positive thoughts and prayers 🙏 and a big for you.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 04:48 AM

6. My thoughts are with you and your mom. Hope you get some goods news from the hospital soon.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 05:05 AM

7. Dear Talena, I am so sorry that this has come to your beloved mother.

She did not deserve this. It sounds as if she is receiving skilled, compassionate care and the most up-to-date treatments available. I am praying for peace, comfort, and healing.


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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 05:10 AM

8. Sorry

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 05:50 AM

9. So sorry about your mom

I hope she pulls through, I am glad they are treating her and not giving up...

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 05:53 AM

10. I am so sorry.

Let me offer this. Start with, pretend Covid isn't there.

Now, in regards to the fractured ankle. Ooh, that's painful, which I (and pretty much every one reading if gets) is not fun at all. .

Quality of life. That's huge. Again, think back to before Covid. What would you have recommended back then? Do you recommend the same now? Okay.

Think back to last year. What heroics would you have been willing to do then? Are you willing to do the same now?

These are highly personal considerations.

I already know from personal experience, that the death of someone close to you is hard, very hard. Even when you know it is imminent, it is still a shock. Nothing I post doesn't even begin to convey adequate sympathy.

In the best of circumstances, these are decisions are not easy. I can only hope to offer you support and strength. I know that whatever happens this will not be easy. Please accept my love and condolences.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 05:58 AM

11. I can not express how much I emphasize with you

I wish the best for your Mom and pray she responds to treatment.

These are going to be hard days ahead. Waiting on the phone calls and dreading them at the same time.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 06:02 AM

12. Horrific

Heard someone of TV saying that right now 54% of the population know someone who has Covid and shortly that will move to 60%.
Hope your mom recovers

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 06:14 AM

13. I am so very sorry



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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 06:15 AM

14. So sorry to hear about your Mom...

...my Mom is 92 and we are all terrified of this.

Damn this disease...

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 06:23 AM

15. Really sorry to hear about your mom

Hopefully she will be ok and back to herself. Iím sorry you guys are going through this, sending positive thoughts/energy and prayers your way.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 06:23 AM

16. Our hopes are with you.

Peace to you and yours.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 06:28 AM

17. Best hopes for your Mom.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 06:40 AM

18. Sending prayers, love and support for you and for your dear mother.

Take care.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 06:54 AM

19. I am so sorry.

Sending positive energy to your mama this morning.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 06:55 AM

20. I'm so sorry

God this is so bad

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 06:57 AM

21. So sorry your mom is struggling with Covid...

I know this is a miserable, sad time for you and your family. I'm sending healing thoughts and wishing you peace and comfort, whatever may come.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 07:43 AM

22. wow that was quick! Im so sorry... I wish people would take this virus seriously..

...(((hugs))) to you and mom.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 09:23 AM

23. So very sorry to hear this. Sending vibes for healing and strength for you and your Mom.

Your DU family is here for you.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 09:27 AM

24. UTI UTI UTI REMEDY easy. alka seltzer. if caught early kills it dead.use as needed.

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Response to pansypoo53219 (Reply #24)

Sun Dec 6, 2020, 01:27 AM

33. Really. How does it work?

Nonstop UTIs were the last straw for my mother.

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Response to jeffreyi (Reply #33)

Tue Dec 8, 2020, 07:12 AM

38. if you catch or feel one coming, 1 dose as directed should do. if you wait, more needed.

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Response to pansypoo53219 (Reply #38)

Tue Dec 8, 2020, 11:24 AM

39. Thanks.

I ain't there yet, hopefully not for many years, but when the inevitable starts to happen I will definitely give that a try.

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Response to jeffreyi (Reply #39)

Wed Dec 9, 2020, 05:59 PM

42. one of my med's side effects is UTI's. yay.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 10:31 AM

25. These nightmares are what we all face now. Best wishes for you and your family.

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Response to BSdetect (Reply #25)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 12:43 PM

29. yup.

docs forget the chemistry that is the foundation they all had to build.
ph is essential to all chemistry in solution.
hi dose c works, too.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 10:35 AM

26. I am so sorry this happened to your Mother and to you...hugs and prayers for you both.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 11:06 AM

27. I'm so sorry.

This is such a nightmare, but I believe you made the right decision for your mom. It sounds like something she herself would choose if asked.

Hang in there. There's still hope.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 11:12 AM

28. Oh, no. I am so sorry, Talena.

All the strength and love in the world to you and your mom.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 04:17 PM

30. Thank you all - DU is such an amazing source of support and empathy

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sat Dec 5, 2020, 07:44 PM

31. My heart goes out to you. May you find the strength to do what is best. nt

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sun Dec 6, 2020, 01:09 AM

32. Im so sorry that your mother's going through this. nt

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sun Dec 6, 2020, 05:14 AM

34. I am so sorry -- just hang in there -- gentle peace to you both

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sun Dec 6, 2020, 05:31 AM

35. Keeping the vigil with you.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sun Dec 6, 2020, 05:44 AM

36. I'm so sorry. It's not fair.

My heart is with you.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Sun Dec 6, 2020, 05:48 AM

37. Oh dear, TalenaGor.

I am so sorry for you, your mom and your family. This is so upsetting. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. I hope and pray for you and your mom to be ok.

I would be out of my mind with grief if I were in your position. I can't believe how well you are holding it together. I wish all the best for you and your mother. Please keep us posted. I hope it will be good news.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Tue Dec 8, 2020, 01:40 PM

40. They have asked you

important questions that only your family can answer. Just make sure it's what YOUR FAMILY wants, and do not let them push you into anything.

I'm very bitter over the way my mother was treated by docs, in a time when we had plenty of beds and she was a vet. They plainly wanted to make her DNR, and they repeatedly asked to make her so. I took her home and she lived for three more years. It was tough, though, and you have to have a lot of fortitude and backup support.

I'm just saying, do what YOU want to do. Accept knowledgeable medical advice, but she's your Mom, not theirs. These times are different, and soon we may have to choose between old and young. Just do your best.

If she has to be intubated, she may end up not being weanable. Be strong. I once had a patient's daughter fly in from Arizona to be with her when she was removed from the ventilator. Patient passed in ten minutes.

Dear, this is tough for you. Prayers coming your way. Your Mom is lucky to have you helping her.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Tue Dec 8, 2020, 02:02 PM

41. I'm sorry you are going through this. It's hard enough making decisions for ourselves -

Let alone for our loved ones.

Fortunately, I haven't actually had to make any decisions yet - but (also fortunately) we talk about things like this in our family.

It will be so much easier for me to make decisions because we talk openly about end of life decisions in our family. I know that my mom does not want to be intubated. Period. No CPR. No extraordinary measures. If she's ever no longer mentally present, she doesn't want to be physically present. My father wants the decision made based on whether he is likely to have good days post illness. If he can't play in the dirt, or have thoughtful problem-solving conversations with others he doesn't want extraordinary measures. If there's a 50%+ chance he'll have those things later - he wants us to make the effort. I'm the secondary decision-maker for my father, and my father has to have my consent to authorize life-extending care for my mother (since my mother is afraid he will not be able to make the decision to let her go).

It's tough - but at least when I'm grieving the life-threatening condition, I don't have to wonder whether I'm doing what my parents want.

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Response to Ms. Toad (Reply #41)

Wed Dec 9, 2020, 06:32 PM

43. Advance directives or living wills make it easier

on everyone. My parents both had one drawn up with no one else, not even me, able to contravene their decisions. Every time they were in the hospital or later in LTC, I made sure the facility had a copy of these documents. They did me a tremendous service taking their end-of-life decisions out of my hands.

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Response to TalenaGor (Original post)

Thu Dec 17, 2020, 10:02 PM

44. My heart goes out to you.

So hard to feel this pain. Wishing her the absolute best.

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