I'm struggling.

[AirmensMom]

Today is Christmas Eve. Most years, I would have played my entire library of Christmas music at least 3 times by now. I haven't listened to a single song. Not one. And, whether you're religious or not, I think classical Christmas music is some of the most beautiful music ever written. Still, I don't feel like playing it. And in a few days, I will be sad that I let myself miss it.

I've temporarily(?) lost one of my best friends. Her mother died of Covid over a month ago and she is too depressed to even want to talk to anyone. It's a horrible situation. Her mother lived in another country and her siblings live in yet another one. She hasn't seen them all year. The death of a parent is bad enough. Under the circumstances, I'm not sure I'd want to talk to anyone. Still, I miss her terribly.

We found out yesterday that a long-time family friend of my husband's died of Covid. His wife is sick with it.

Meanwhile, I worry incessantly about my own family. Our 40-something daughter is convinced that she can't get it. The good news, though, is that she's equally convinced that she could give it to me. So she at least takes precautions. I worry every time my husband goes out for groceries, even though he wears a mask and gloves.

Our criminal president keeps setting more fires to the country every day, almost every hour. The last round of pardons has me so disgusted that I don't even know where to put all those feelings.

Christmas? OMG, who the fuck cares? Yes, I put up a tree and some decorations. We bought gifts online. We cooked. We even had a wine Advent calendar that was truly the best ever ... not because the wine was anything special, but just because the whole idea of a new tasing every day was pretty cool. Still, it didn't put me in the mood. And today is Christmas Eve.

When I'm not on the verge of tears, I'm in a rage inside or just numb. I thought I'd feel different when Joe Biden got elected. But all the bullshit that has been happening since is so demoralizing. I'm afraid the criminals will still find a way to pull out a coup.

Last week I found out that one of my other good friends believes that the election was stolen. I told her it wasn't and I haven't heard from her since. We didn't have a long conversation about it. We usually don't discuss politics. Still, I don't know if we can be friends if, after everything that has happened, she believes even a little of what that monster says. She wears a "Jesus" hat, but I'm learning that such a hat might as well say "MAGA" these days. I'm depressed about what has happened to all the things I grew up believing in.

Sorry to be such a downer. This is what this year has done to me. I still exercise and do Yoga and stick with a routine, because I would be even worse off without all that. I do a little on my hobbies every day. I have good sleep habits and I eat healthy. In other words, I'm doing what I can to maintain my mental and physical health. I'm just so tired and discouraged.

[ariadne0614]

1. I'm sure you express what many of us feel. Take good care of yourself. n/t

[AirmensMom]

6. Trying.

DU helps. I think it would be much, much worse without DU to go to.

[Danmel]

2. I'm so sorry

It really is so difficult to process all of this and live with the unrelenting barrage of craziness, the continued assault on all that we value. I hope that you know that you aren't alone and this darkness will pass. I have ended a lot of friendships and relationships over these past years, people who I liked, who have seemingly lost any sense of decency. But I have found new friends both in person and through DU and other groups. Isolation is hard and unnatural for most of us.
I wish you comfort and peace.

[AirmensMom]

9. You put it perfectly.

"unrelenting barrage of craziness, the continued assault on all that we value."

That's what it is.

Thank you and I wish you comfort and peace as well.

[JI7]

3. Just play the music

[AirmensMom]

10. LOL

Thank you for making me laugh.

I will do that.

[wnylib]

16. Really. Music can lift spirits.

If not Christmas music, then something else that you like.

[AirmensMom]

97. I'm going with the Christmas music.

A quiet album. It's soothing and beautiful.

[KPN]

93. ++++

[Calculating]

134. Amen

Music always helps lift my spirits when I'm struggling.

[BadGimp]

155. AMEN!

May I suggest this one?

[lame54]

189. And re-watch The Grinch...

There is a lesson to be learned there

[Atticus]

4. You are not alone. And the realization that 99% of our sadness is the direct fault of the person

Last edited Thu Dec 24, 2020, 03:48 PM - Edit history (1)

who is SUPPOSED to care for us tempts us to a rabe tot sa ally inconsistent with the season.

I will listen to our Christmas songs and try to stay dry-eyed as Anne Murray sings "---if only in my dreams".

[AirmensMom]

11. Yes, it is pretty upsetting

that one person can do this. Yet, it's more like the 72 million who still support him that I find at least as upsetting.

Good plan and I will give it another try.

[luvtheGWN]

79. What's so maddening is not that IQ45

is behaving so badly (we knew from the beginning that he would) but that he's deriving such enjoyment from making all those Americans who didn't vote for him or otherwise show their continued support miserable and worried.

And that goes for the rest of us on the planet. Who knew that 2020 could be filled with such misery?

But music warms the heart and fills the soul. It really is the finest art. So play on.........!

[JenniferJuniper]

5. I'm sorry. I understand. Both of my parents died in the past year,

I've cut off all contact with a sibling due to some really appalling behavior over their small estate.
My husband right now is in cardiac rehab at 58.
And like you, I've had to cut some idiotic Trumpy folks out of my life.

So it's just me and the youngest kid today and tomorrow.

Toss in the fact that I work for Ebeneezer Scrooge Inc., and will be working at least until 7 tonight and part of tomorrow to meet last minute year end deadlines dumped on me.

Hang in there. You aren't alone. And we'll come through it. We'll be different, but we'll rebuild.

[chia]

12. You've been through a lot.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and the family/friend issues, and hope your husband has a good recovery. In the meantime, sending you some Christmas love and cheer.

[AirmensMom]

13. I am so sorry for your loss.

Siblings and estates ... what a nightmare. Been there.

I wish you and your husband the best. Please keep us updated.

I'm sorry your boss is an ass. I hope you and your youngest can squeak out a decent day. I like your optimism in the face of all you are dealing with.

[ornotna]

7. Yes, just play the music

Here's a start.

[AirmensMom]

17. Thank you.

It won't play, but I appreciate the effort. And I will listen to music after I get dressed (or during).

[ornotna]

27. Click the link

"Watch this video on YouTube"

It should work. Hope your day gets better.

[chia]

8. You've eloquently expressed what so many of us have been feeling this year, each one of us has

our own different situations but where you've been at - from tears to rage to numbness - is absolutely so familiar.

I'm glad you're taking care of yourself, you do have an inner strength to stick to your routines, that's one good thing you've got going for you. I haven't been nearly so good about that, everything has kind of crumbled apart.

Hang in there, you can do this. And like another poster has said, play the music. I learned from my therapist when I was dealing with depression that "the good feeling comes after." In other words, do what seems so very difficult to do, the good feeling may not be there while you're doing it, but hopefully, it will be after.

Sending hugs

[AirmensMom]

19. Fake it till you make it?

Yes, I will do that with the music. Thank you.

Sending a hug back.

[chia]

28. Yep!

And that welcome hug received - thank you!

[Zoonart]

14. WE have a lot in common.

I didn't think Christmas would hit me this hard either. I have been able to escape into my art and keep most of the noise out, but the stretch since the election has been really hard. I have many friends that are sick and I haven't seen my family for months. No family, no friends, no grandkids for Christmas. No Community, or choirs, no Handel Messiah sing along.

No gifts under my little tree. Usually a pile of carefully wrapped packages. It's not about the actual gifts, but rather what they represent. They are all prepared in the anticipation of making other people happy and delivering them in person...giving and receiving hugs...sharing cheer...playing games with the kids and catching up with friends relatives.

Gave money to the local food bank and the animal shelter, but I can't even provide actual face to face service there.

Group hug to everyone out there in the Du community who have been so helpful this year, so kind and understanding.

Happy Holiday. Better New Year.

[AirmensMom]

25. Handel Messiah sing along ...

We did that once! It was called "Sing it Yourself Messiah" and it was years ago. I haven't been able to do that for many years, but for other reasons. (Plus ... have they even heard of Handel in Tennessee?)

Yes, there is plenty to miss this year. And I sincerely hope next year is better.

There will never be a way to thank DUers adequately for their support through this horrible time.

[soldierant]

195. Oh, yes - there is the Nashville Symphony Orchestra which inhabits

the Schermerhorn Symphony Center in Tennessee. I occasionally hear performances by them on "Performance Today" on public radio (but also streamed from its website.) And it recods for Naxos.

I'm sure there are many individual people in Tennessee who have never heard of Handel, but then, that's probably true anywhere, even in New York City.

I just looked up covers of "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day," words by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, written in 1863 with the Civil War in full swing. If he could hope, I can hope. The cover I found was recorded by The Carpenters (with a choir), and I won't deny I was weeping. But some tears are healing. The middle three verses were not sung (I don't think they ever are) but it's powerful without them also.

[KarenS]

15. I'm with you,,,,

I am telling myself here that "it's just another day",,,,, not sure if I'm going to play the Christmas music this year or not,,,, maybe I'll just listen to some classic rock instead,,,, or not,,,, Sending ((Hugs)) you are definitely not alone. I totally support whatever you do to smooth the way, to comfort yourself and get through it,,,, be gentle with yourself and I will do the same.

[AirmensMom]

26. Thank you.

I think I will play some music and see how it goes.

We all need to be gentle with ourselves more than ever now. Thank you for the reminder.

[Arkansas Granny]

18. Truth be told, I'm sure that many of us feel the same way.

I'll be spending Christmas alone because family and friends have wisely decided that our usual get together poses too much of a risk. Fortunately, there are no anti-maskers in the family so there's no argument about that.

I found out last night that my grandson and his SO think they have Covid. They feel crappy and can't smell or taste anything. They're young, will probably survive, but will they fully recover? Her daughter has CF and has been living with grandparents since March since it's easier for her to isolate there.

It has been a crappy year and a crappy holiday season. The important thing is that there's light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there and maybe next year we'll be able to return to some semblance of normal.

We've got your back.

[AirmensMom]

31. I don't know how to feel about that.

I hate that others feel like this. Yet, it's strangely comforting to know I'm not alone.

I'm so sorry about your grandson and his SO. I hope with all that I have in me that they're OK.

Here's to hoping next year is an improvement.

[Nay]

68. Our DIL is recovering from COVID, as did Mr Nay's brother and his wife. They have come out

on the other side with no symptoms left, so the chance that your grandson and SO will be fine. I know that this damn disease is so variable in its damage that it scares the shit out of all of us just because of that, but the odds are in their favor. It's so hard to have a normal life with a disease like this hanging over our heads -- may your loved ones recover fully, Granny.

[beachbumbob]

20. more common than not as depression is prevalent from all directions, luckily recreational

marijuana helps a lot and thank god we have it in Illinois, otherwise my liver be under assault

[AirmensMom]

34. Never thought of that.

I'm glad you have marijuana! I doubt we'll ever get in TN.

Funny thing one of my docs told me last week: He said if we legalized marijuana federally, Covid would be gone. Everyone would be happy to just sit home and smoke pot. Only one person would have to go out to supply the munchies.

[beachbumbob]

47. sooner or later Tn will as its about revenue to the state coffers, the numbers out of Illinois for

2020 will be staggering and thats with insufficient number of dispensaries and COVID. Smoking pot doesn;t make you necessarily lethargic, especially with the strains out there. It does lessen anxiety.

[SallyHemmings]

21. The struggle is real

The fact that you sat down and expressed your pain may be a start to healing.

This year has been just awful.

The fact that your daughter may think she is invincible BUT takes steps to keep you safe speaks to your good works as a Mom.

Everyone deals with grief differently. In time your best friend will find her way back to you.

Sadly, too many people we love have NO IDEA how our government works. They either slept through history or social studies class or it wasn't taught unless you were on a College track. My 66 year old husband, catholic school education doesn't recall a history class once he reached high school. Trump has shined a spotlight on the ignorance of the "We the People.

Civics should be mandatory.

I found some comfort having conversations with my step children who did pay attention until Covid hit.

My older grandbabies ranging from 14 to 6 talk about Trump.

Trump will do more stupid dangerous shit before he leaves.

Give yourself a break for a bit.

Grab a Christmas tunes that just may prompt tapping your feet or shaking your backside!!!!!

[AirmensMom]

42. Actually, the responses are so helpful.

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

It did help to sit down and write about my feelings. Yet, I always have the fear that it will be perceived as selfish or indulgent. Then I think maybe other people are struggling as well.

You are correct about people not knowing how government works. The people around here actually believe that Trump personally sent them that check in March. So they voted for him again. It's depressing living among such ignorance.

I remember living in NJ in 5th grade when my dad was in Vietnam. We had a book called Our Great State Papers. Our teacher wanted to take us to visit the capital of NJ and I got to write the letter to someone there to ask permission, because I had the best penmanship in the class ... which was a feat for a southpaw! And I remember taking Virginia History in 7th grade and visiting Jamestown and Williamsburg with the class. That was in the 60s, public school education. I know more about how the government works than many people around here do, and I don't consider myself close to being knowledgeable enough.

[SallyHemmings]

71. Hugs!

[FM123]

22. Sending you extra hugs today....

This has been quite a nightmarish few years and it is taking its collective toll on us- come, sit for awhile and play some music.

[AirmensMom]

45. Thank you.

I think we've been in survival mode for so long that we're in going from that to PTSD now that there is some hope of at least getting some competent leadership.

Yeah, I am definitely going to listen to music today.

[handmade34]

23. ...

virtual hugs is all we got these days... right there with ya...

[AirmensMom]

46. It's good enough.

And quite safe. Thank you.

[Hugin]

24. Baby steps, AM.

At the end of each day think back and find one thing which made you happy. It doesn't matter how small it seems.

A leaf you saw or a good memory.

After a few days think back find two things and then three.

We're all starting again at square one and you're not alone.

[AirmensMom]

49. Someone said to me a few weeks ago

to try to find one thing that makes me smile. I was holding my kitten at that moment, so it was a real no-brainer. Yes, she does lighten the mood somewhat.

I get discouraged that those moments don't add up to enough to get rid of the evil we are surrounded by. But you are right, baby steps.

[Hugin]

53. ...

It takes a whole lot of ants to carry a potato chip, but, only one to find it.

Keep pulling that chip, AM.

[AirmensMom]

99. Wait ...

I thought it was a rubber tree plant?

All this outpouring of support is truly an elixir.

[Hugin]

119. I've never seen ants hauling a rubber tree...

They did tote off a box of my Twinkies once.

[AirmensMom]

124. LOL

It's a song that ends with, "oops there goes another rubber tree plant."

[calimary]

208. Well then, may we all be ants.

We’ve already managed to start clearing Garbage out of the White House. So SOMETHING’s making a difference!

[North Shore Chicago]

29. Most of us feel the anxiety,

the frustration and helplessness that goes along with having such an evil louse (parasite) 'leading' this country. This country who for the most part was highly respected has now turned into object of pity from abroad.

We will get through this together, and I agree with everyone who has deleted the trump cult folks out of their lives.

I will watch It's A Wonderful Life again this time of year, it is uplifting and once again offers crumbs of hope for humanity.

ps watching silly Dodo animal videos always does my heart good. Be well.

[AirmensMom]

50. Oh wow.

I haven't watched It's a Wonderful Life in years! Thanks for reminding me! I've been afraid of it being too depressing, actually, but will give it a try again.

Thanks!

[intheflow]

183. Thanks for reminding me!

It crossed my mind to rewatch it yesterday, then was promptly forgotten. I think I know what I'm doing for the next couple hours.

[Freedomofspeech]

30. I swear that I could have written this...

You have expressed my feelings exactly. I thought I would feel so much better after Mr. Biden was elected but everyday trump serves up a new hell. I too, have lost a few acquaintances over trump but to hell with them. I'm too old to have people with no heart or soul in my life.
We have a son in Maine and one in Cleveland....we have not seen our Maine family since February and we met our Ohio family on the PA turnpike yesterday to exchange gifts. My tears have about dried up. I consider us to be very blessed because there are so many people that are suffering in so many ways.
We have to hold out hope. Do not deny yourself that beautiful Christmas music that you love...think about the lovely Christmases you have enjoyed and will enjoy in the future. Love and peace to you.

[AirmensMom]

54. Thank you.

I sometimes feel like I'm being ungrateful because we have been blessed in so many ways as well while others are suffering unimaginably. Yet, pain is pain. I mourn so much over what our country has lost. I hope you and your family stay safe.

Still counting the days until January 20. I hope we can all start to heal then, although there will still be so many lives ruined and gone.

[Freedomofspeech]

84. You are so right...

Pain is pain...and we are all suffering on different levels. It will take a long time for our country to heal.
One thing that has come out of this trump nightmare is that we have realized how flawed our "Democracy" really is. We really do not have any checks and balances anymore.
All the best to you and your family. ✌

[asiliveandbreathe]

32. You will be in my thoughts today..may all the DU support you

receive today put a spring in your step..dawn is breaking here in E Mesa AZ..and the sky is on fire..a most beautiful crimson, soon to be full of sunshine..

Do not let that pos get to you..LISTEN to your Christmas music..was first thing I turned on today..

[AirmensMom]

56. All the DU support

has already put a spring in my step.

I'm starting to be concerned that I won't be able to respond to everyone individually. It just means so much to me that so many have taken the time to respond.

[Malmsy]

33. You're not alone.

[AirmensMom]

57. I know.

I'm truly sorry that there is so much pain.

[blogslut]

35. Be tired and discouraged because these are normal reactions

This is a terrible time and you have the right to feel terrible. You're a human being, not an automaton. I mean, sure, find constructive ways to cope with your grief but never, never, feel bad about feeling bad.

[AirmensMom]

60. OK!

How often do we scold ourselves for reacting normally? I mean, really! Thank you.

[wryter2000]

36. If you're still exercising

Give yourself a huge pat on the back. That’s such a great way to lift your mood. I’m with the people who say play music. If you like classical, The Barber of Seville is gorgeous and funny. It always makes me smile.

[AirmensMom]

62. Actually,

I started 1401 days ago, which is most of Trump's presidency. I have not missed a day, except for the week after my total knee replacement. Then I was doing PT instead of my regular workouts. I added my regular workouts to my PT after the first week. Doc thought it was nuts, but he OK'd it. I won't say it was easy. I'm very proud of that and it scares me to think how bad I might feel without it.

I do like classical and I like opera. The Marriage of Figaro is also funny and we have it on video.

[mgardener]

37. I'm struggling too.

I think we are just ignoring Christmas this year.
We have had other years when we did not see our kids, this one just feels different.

[AirmensMom]

63. I'm so sorry.

Yes, this year feels different. There's so much sadness going around. So much death, despair, poverty, loneliness. Those things are always here, but they're here on steroids this year.

[ananda]

38. You are not alone.

I am NOT in the Christmas/holiday spirit this year.

It sucks, but since getting Covid is the alternative,
I will wait it out.

[AirmensMom]

64. You are wise.

Covid is nothing to mess with. Let's hope next year is better.

[ananda]

78. Thanks.

I think everyone here is wise.

Following PP practice is the only way to go
if you wnat to stay healthy and alive.

[MissMillie]

39. Hard to imagine that most people aren't struggling...

but of course, that doesn't take away from YOUR struggle. I'm sorry you're having a bad day.

As for me, I just had a minor meltdown over a cake I'm planning on making today. But it's not really about the cake. It's about missing my mom, who passed away in July.

lol... my guy bought me a bottle for Christmas and it's sitting in the freezer. I'm planning to save it for New Year's Eve, but let me tell you at 7:00 I thought for sure I was going to crack it open.

Some days we have to search VERY hard to find something to be joyful about.

But it IS okay to have a bad day. Makes us appreciate the good ones even more.

[AirmensMom]

67. I'm sure they are.

I am so sorry about your mom and all the things missing her mean for you. I wish I could bake your cake for you, but that wouldn't keep you from missing your mom.

Yes, crack open that bottle! Buy another one for New Year's Eve.

Our daughter gave us a kitten over the summer. We did not need another cat! But there was something very special about this little one. She has personality to spare and is very demonstrative of her love for us. I need to let that soak in a bit more during my down moments.

And at this moment, I am so appreciate of DU!!!!!!

[essaynnc]

40. Hang in there, kiddo!

The light at the end of the tunnel is not an oncoming train!

The election is over, 20 on some days from now we have a new president. PROBLEMS WILL BE ADDRESSED!!! I think Joe and Kamala are probably some of the best people to address the division in our country. And I hope they don't repeat the mistakes of the past and let the fuckers go free!

A vaccine is available, the covid dark times will be on the wane.

Christmas is often a tough time, especially if you've encountered loss, like you have. I wish I could ask Santa to make it all better for everyone, perhaps he already is.

keep reaching out, talk, drink, love, laugh, cry, it's all good. Stay well and continue to be safe. we'll get through this together.

[AirmensMom]

69. Well, the thing is

that it HAS been an oncoming train for so long now. (Has MF45 REALLY only been president for almost 4 years? Feels like 20!)

You are right. I wish I could get over the fear that the coup will happen and we won't get Joe and Kamala. I'll borrow your optimism about that.

Still, you really made me smile. For one thing, no one has called me kiddo in decades.

[essaynnc]

74. 😀😃😄😁😆😅🤣

[Lonestarblue]

41. Most of us are there with you.

I was thrilled when the Biden/Harris team win the election, but then Trump and Republicans started their nonsense. And while they have been unsuccessful, the constant upheaval takes a toll. Like you, I’ve been unable to listen to Christmas music this year, nor have I put out even one decoration. With so many people dying every day and the virus curtailing our lives, I just could not get motivated this year.

What keeps me going is knowing that in 27 more days, we will have a decent, ethical human being in charge of the country. I will breathe a sigh of relief when Trump is gone, and I will open a bottle of champagne when Biden takes the oath of office, even though it’s the middle of the day! At that point, I expect at least some of my normal optimism to return, and I think we can all start looking forward to improvements in vaccine distribution and getting Covid under control. The future will be brighter!

Your post has inspired me to at least listen to one Christmas album. I think it will be Traditional Christmas Carols by Joemy Wilson on the hammered dulcimer—an old CD but beautiful music. While our Christmas may be less merry this year, we can be consoled that we will soon have a new government and a solution for the virus that is making life miserable. Happy 2021!

[AirmensMom]

73. 27 more days.

Yes, that is hopeful. And I really hope it happens. I know Joe and Kamala are the antidote this country needs.

I'm so happy that my post helped you! And I will listen to at least one Christmas album as well. Not sure which one. Maybe Robert Shaw's Songs of the Angels, also old but beautiful a capella choir. Let's do it!

[Ohiogal]

43. You are not alone.

I feel a sort of simmering anxiety inside my chest all the time lately. The recent disgusting pardons and the two recent shootings in my state’s capital of Columbus aren’t helping.

I never was real hung ho on the holidays like a lot of folks, I made it special for my kids when they were small, but we’re all grownups now, and every year I seem to run out of gas for it.
My husband puts up most of the decorations. I do cook and host two special dinners and that’s about all I can do any more.

Sometimes it helps just to know many others feel the same way and that we aren’t alone.

Hopeful for better things ahead next month.

[AirmensMom]

75. Thank you.

Yes, the last batch of pardons and violence ... it's just too much.

But the hope is growing, thanks to you and all the others her on DU.

[sop]

44. I look back to Christmas 2016, right after Trump was elected, and recall having a small glimmer

of hope the despicable POS wouldn't be as bad as we feared, but not even his most vehement critics could have predicted the enormity of the Trump disaster.

[AirmensMom]

76. I had no such hope.

And everyone around me told me that "checks and balances" would keep us safe. Even then, I couldn't imagine how bad it would be.

[NRaleighLiberal]

48. Thanks for sharing - I am with you. This one is a strange Christmas

Keeping spirits up with the so much news of the orange one's hissy fits and destruction, the realization of the continuing damage of COVID in so many ways - family either passed on or distant and visits verboten - each day feels like heavy lifting to not sink.

Doing some baking, lots of listening to music, watching movies, listening to some podcasts and books on CD - and I am continuing our long practice of my wife and I reading to each other - all help to provide those lifts in this most heavy time.

You are not being a downer, you are generously sharing your feelings - part of the ability to get through them is to just let it out.

Be at peace - find peace and happiness as best you can...2021 will certainly be different, hopefully much better!

[AirmensMom]

95. Very strange.

It has been such a challenge. I think some of it is that this administration is showing us that no matter how bad it is, they can make it worse. That is so disheartening.

I LOVE your practice of reading to each other! And I'm so glad you're taking care of yourselves.

Just talking about it has helped me immeasurably. Thank you.

[NRaleighLiberal]

116. my wife and I started it 5 or so years ago.

she likes to knit while I read. I absorb books better if I read them to someone. We've done some big ones...the 4 volume Raj quartet, some Stephen King, right now finishing up Chronicles of Narnia.

Be well, be safe, be happy!

[Roy Rolling]

51. We love you

But maybe you need a new holiday...a Festivus for the rest of us!

You’ll feel re-energized after the feats of strength and the ceremonial airing of grievances.

“I got a lot of problems with you people!”

[AirmensMom]

96. Perhaps.

Part of me is sad for the lost traditions we used to have.

I have music playing now and it makes me want to cry and smile at the same time. How strange is that?

[HipChick]

52. This will be my first Xmas

without family...you express what many of us are going through

[AirmensMom]

101. I'm so sorry.

My thoughts are with you that you will find peace.

[luvs2sing]

55. I get it.

Christmas has hit me hard this year for many of the same reasons. Last week, in one day, I learned of the deaths of FIVE lifelong friends. Only one was from Covid, and two of them were well into their 90s and in failing health for some time, but damn..all in the same day? Since August 2019, I have lost two family members, six dear friends (2 to Covid) and one beloved dogfriend (not my dog, thank god).

We probably won’t get to see the grandkids for more than a minute of gift exchanging in the driveway. Masked, of course.

The group of longtime friends who gets together multiple times for dinners over the holidays is reduced to sending Christmas cards telling one another how much we miss our fun together.

Christmas dinner is always a small affair at our house. Kids go out of town to in-laws, so Hubster and I have two friends over every year. We’ve all been friends forever, and they were both widowed way too young and never remarried. They are in our bubble but, this year, it’s not safe to have them in our tiny, no-social-distancing house, so we are delivering to-go plates for them.

I usually have Christmas shopping done by Halloween. This year, I couldn’t bear to start till after Thanksgiving. And I’ve felt out of control of the whole affair in ways that I never have before. As I type, the party mix is in the oven, and the brisket will be next. I’m powering through.

So, we’re in this together. And we’ll get through it. Like you, I’m focusing on my routine, doing all the things I enjoy doing. Trying to maintain. I’m much better than I was in October. I believe I’ll be better yet in the months to come, and my hope is that you will be, too. ❤️

[AirmensMom]

105. You have had way too much loss.

Loss is always bad. Compounded loss can be debilitating. I'm so sorry.

We build our lives around traditions. Sometimes a few traditions fall by the wayside, but rarely do they ever go away at once like they have done this year. And it hurts.

Yes, we're in this together, which is probably the only thing making it the least bit tolerable. Good for you for doing things that are somewhat normal and for sticking to your routine.

I hope the next months will be better for all of us.

[samplegirl]

58. Many of us struggling

I feel the same.

[AirmensMom]

107. I have no doubt of that.

I wish you peace.

[William769]

59. Nobody will ever forget 2020.

Let's hope 2021 is much better.

[AirmensMom]

108. We will hope.

2020 is unforgettable, and that's the best thing we can say about it.

[Lilaclady]

61. Agree

You are such a good writer perhaps you could keep a journal, if you don’t already. Except for walks in the park with hubby and dog I haven’t been anywhere since March 20 - when I got my breast cancer diagnosis. Surgery was put off until end of May and was successful. My husband worries every time he goes out. All groceries are wiped off and he changes his clothes. No one comes in the house. Our daughter Is 3 hrs away and has visited 4 times since April, bringing meals and one or two grandsons. They sat in the driveway, we sat at the back of the garage all with masks. I worry about her because she feels she must go to church and lead worship services and her two sons both work and still visit friends. She’s in an area with higher cases than ours. But recently a local church is the cause of 94 active cases of Covid with 7 in the hospital. It’s a small town and people all around us go to that church. I keep a log of when and where my husband goes every time he goes out. He only goes to a few grocery stores and either first thing in the morning or after 7 at night. If the parking lot is crowded he won’t go in. I can feel your concern in your post. So many people are getting tired of this and letting their guard down. I wish you a Happy Christmas and a blessed 2021.

[AirmensMom]

112. Thank you.

I don't have a great vocabulary, but I do my best to convey my thoughts. My husband is in possession of all the $10 words in our household.

I'm sorry about your breast cancer diagnosis, but so happy the surgery was successful!

We have the same routine as you do with the groceries. I use hot soapy water, no matter what the groceries are. He uses a fresh mask and pair of gloves for each store. No one comes in the house except for our daughter, who lives an hour away and works at home. I don't go out except to doctors.

The church thing scares the hell out of me. I'm so sorry your daughter feels the need to continue going.

You are very perceptive. I hear from so many people that they have to live their lives, etc. The medical offices around here are refusing to vaccinate their staffs. It's disturbing on so many levels. I've postponed my necessary colonoscopy because of that.

I wish you the same. My expectations are getting lower all the time. Surviving 2021 will be a start.

[seta1950]

65. You're not alone

I can’t feel the usual joy of the holidays, over 200.000 Americans dead just depresses me deeply, but there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

[AirmensMom]

117. No, I'm not.

It's sort of bitter-sweet feeling the sense of community over this mess we're in.

The comparisons of the Covid deaths to the war deaths over the years is just mind-boggling. I feel the grief intensely as well.

[AirmensMom]

120. Thank you.

I'm sitting in the living room right now listening to a favorite Christmas album, next to my 8-month-old sleeping kitten. My husband is cooking in the kitchen. We talked about opening a gift today, but decided to wait.

Reading through all the responses, and trying my best to answer them, has lifted me up in ways I didn't expect. I'm surrounded by the evil where I live. It's nice to be reminded of how much of a caring community DU is.

Merry Christmas to you as well.

[BobTheSubgenius]

70. I really feel badly for you. Honestly.

And just as honestly, I wish there was something I could say that would help...but what could I say that you haven't already said to yourself? Probably several times.

My Christmas is going to be spent at the home of my ex-wife and her current (and appears to be final) husband. They are great, and so welcoming, but still. You have to wonder what happened to your life when your "bubble" consists of your ex and her SU.

Don't get me wrong. I'm super-happy to have them in my life. But not so much today...or perhaps especially today. I can't even make up my mind, so I don't even try.

I hope something happens in your day that brings back the joy you long for. Everyone needs at least a little of that.

[AirmensMom]

122. It has happened.

I'm feeling a bit like George Bailey at the end of the movie. I did not expect this outpouring of love from strangers.

You do have an interesting circumstance. Despite it, I'm glad you have someone to be with tomorrow. I can see how it would be confusing.

[TNNurse]

72. There is nothing normal about this Christmas.

You have done what you could do. I feel the same way. Some things are done some are not. Presents to children and Christmas cards were sent. Have not done any gift baking since I do not go places. Decorations are up. I wore my decorative Christmas shirts, socks and such to the grocery store since there are no parties. Did get my hair cut yesterday because that is giving someone a paycheck.

My 77 yo sister who lives alone 20 miles away will come to our house this afternoon and spend the night. It is supposed to start snowing later and then drop into the teens overnight. It has been raining for hours. We told her to come today and not try to drive in the morning on ice.

It won't be festive but we will be warm and safe inside. I also have not played Christmas music, I have a pretty good collection.

Just trying to survive until Jan 20 when we can hope. Waiting for our turn at a vaccine, we are retired, people who have to work and face the public need them first. Never looked forward to Spring more since it has a lot more hope this year.

And that wine Advent calendar sounds like a great idea.

Stay safe.

[AirmensMom]

125. You are right.

There really hasn't been anything normal about this year or, indeed, the past almost 4 years.

I'm glad your sister is coming to visit. Maybe not festive, but you will be together.

I am listening to music now in the living room while my husband prepares some food for tomorrow. My kitten is asleep on the sofa beside me and her older sister is playing with their new kitty tunnel on the floor. I need to savor more moments like this.

Yeah, that wine Advent calendar is great. Sort of unfair, though. He likes red and I like white. At first, it seemed to alternate. I'd have a taste of the red, but give him the rest. He tastes the white but gives me the rest. But for the past week, it's been almost all white. Tonight's last one is white. If you have an Aldi, look for them next year before Thanksgiving.

You stay safe too! Enjoy your time with your sister.

[TNNurse]

146. Thank you for your kind thoughts.

I saw somewhere a suggestion to use Advent calendars to countdown to Jan 20.....that is a thought. May check Aldi Monday, see if any are left.

[AirmensMom]

163. I saw that too.

Not sure the math actually adds up, but it would almost get you there.

[sarge43]

77. It's ok.

You have empathy and compassion. If you didn't, you wouldn't have these feelings, but let them pass through you. Don't embrace them.

I've found this helpful over the years.

I am wounded, but not yet slain.
I'll lay me down and bleed awhile
Then rise and fight again.

[AirmensMom]

126. Thank you.

I'm done bleeding for today at least. This thread has shown me the goodness in people.

[sarge43]

154. You're more than welcome.

Good people are everywhere ... from ICUs to food banks.

Now refresh yourself with some music.

virtual

[world wide wally]

80. Well, AirmensMom. Y'know what?

Merry Christmas anyway!
AND a Happy New Year!

[AirmensMom]

127. Ok, fine.

I'll do it!

Merry Christmas to you, too! And Happy New Year!

[birdographer]

81. Another voice to add to your responses

I am there, too. Newest thing is waking up every morning with my stomach in knots from anxiety. I'm trying some meditations from the Calm app and they help a little. If you like that sort of thing, I recommend the app, there is quite a bit to it. My other tactic is to simply zone out to keep my mind from focusing on all the horrible noise going on. I am binge watching Desperate Housewives, of all shows. Just one episode after another. At least it has 8 seasons.

I'm so sorry about how this disease has come into your life. As for our jackass president, he will be gone soon. I would prefer he simply cease to exist on this plane, but it seems that demons last forever.

Play the music!

[AirmensMom]

128. Great idea!

I binge watched Desperate Housewives at least twice. Then moved on to Grey's Anatomy and Jane the Virgin and then Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Might have to start over again.

The music is playing now. And I'm enjoying it. It was a little hard to get through the first few songs, but it's comforting now.

If it were just the president, that would be one thing. But that he has so many supporters is demoralizing. Still, it will be better once they are forced back under their rocks.

[PatrickforO]

82. I think a lot of us feel discouraged. We are on the home stretch to sanity, though.

One of the things I have done is to strictly limit myself (on most days) to half hour or less of news. I take a local newspaper, and they hardly cover anything nationally, which is really BAD, but good for me wanting to just pick up local and state stuff.

The pandemic is horrible. I think I read that 2 million have already had the vaccine, so we seem to be on pace for most Americans having it by April or May.

Unfortunately, I was tasked prior to this holiday period with writing a situation report for a county government to inform discussion about where to put limited resources that they would have the biggest positive effect.

It didn't cheer me up. For many Americans, the situation is dire - millions are in danger of losing their homes, and the large food bank network serving my area reports traffic is up 59% on average this year, with around 40% of recipients first timers. They say before winter is over, 1 in 6 Americans will be 'food insecure' - a euphamism for experiencing hunger.

And yeah, the monster in the White House is setting fires because reality is closing in around him and his mind seems to be breaking down, though it never did operate all that well in the best of times.

So I've been a bit blue, too. It is funny, though. My wife is a big fan of Christmas. She decorates, and this year we had all three grandkids - she does regular daycare for two of them, so we see them often anyway, and the third had COVID a couple months ago and recovered - she's only 11. So it was good to see them.

Anyway, my wife had these Christmas carols on - I like the traditional ones, too. And a funny thing happened. As I listened, I began to feel better. I did. I can't really explain it beyond that, but as I listened, I remembered Christmases past, and my mood softened. I am devout, though not religious in an organized sense, so I love Joy to the World, Silent Night, and all the rest of the traditional carols.

One of the things that helped, too, was we watched It is a Wonderful Life, and the George C Scott version of Christmas Carol. The spirit of giving, love, and joy always seems to compete neck and neck with the spirit of greed and commercialism, but both of those movies always remind me that most people are basically good, and that sometimes it seems as if there is a power for good beyond us that works in strange and sometimes unseen ways to put us back on the right track.

I mean, look at the thing in GA. Loeffler and Perdue are both disgusting, horrible human beings, and this thing with Trump's vetos, his pardons, and his holding up the stimulus might well help the two Dems actually win.

Boy that was long. Sorry.

Just remember you aren't alone. This site has a huge number of people, and the majority of Americans are decent and sane. We've just been walking through darkness for four years.

Merry Christmas! Listen to the carols and watch a couple of sappy Christmas movies. Give when you can to those less fortunate because they are many.

On edit: "I think I read that 2 million have already had the vaccine."

[AirmensMom]

140. Thank you so much!

I'm listening to the music now. And remembering other Christmases and how my mom helped me to appreciate good music.

No apologies for being long! I enjoyed reading it. You are so right about everything.

My heart breaks for those who are suffering. I do hope GA comes through. It would really be a shot in the arm for us to take the senate after all these years of horrible bullshit.

Merry Christmas to you too.

[Botany]

83. I hope you can find some joy and some love. Merry Christmas

[Totally Tunsie]

94. Thank you for posting the flashmob video.

I was thinking of that just yesterday, but hadn't gone looking for it yet. Much appreciated.

[Botany]

98. I was looking for Ode to Joy and that video came up ... it had been years since I had seen it

Merry Christmas

[Totally Tunsie]

103. ...and a very Merry Christmas to you also!

[AirmensMom]

137. Flash mobs are the best!

Thank you!

[BarbD]

139. Music is international. It touches our soul.

Thanks, especially for the Ode to Joy.

[JGug1]

85. Sad On Christmas Eve

So many of the things you have reported are incredibly depressing. I am buoyed by your report that your daughter understands that she can give you COVID and is taking proper precautions.
I could not agree more that "Hitler" is trying to be certain that "Paris" is burned to the ground before he leaves. I DO fear what he has done. The most onerous, perhaps, is the pardoning of the murderers of unarmed, innocent Iraqis, including a child. WHY? Why would he do that? I also get that you feel the loss of a friend who believes that the election was stolen. I would mark such a "friend" who wears that on his/her arm as someone I do not want in my life. The question might be, "what is my responsibility in this relationship?" Your responsibility is staying in it. You will have lost nothing.
This is not a normal Christmas season. Nevertheless, there are some things that we may remember fondly. Hang in there.

[AirmensMom]

133. One complication is

that the friend is also my farrier. She's the best one around and truly cares about my old horse. Sure, I can keep her around as a farrier. I'm in Trump country and there's not much hope of getting anything different, just a not-as-good farrier. We broached the subject several months ago when I mentioned her "Jesus" hat and she said not to make assumptions. So I left it alone. I do get the impression that she has been brainwashed, but is not mean and hateful about it. There might be a possibility of showing her some logic (ie: Occams' razor).

I come from a long line of veterans. My grandfather fought in WWI and my dad in Vietnam. He missed WWII because he was in college to become a chaplain and the Army told him to wait until he graduated. By then the war was over, but he still enlisted and became a chaplain. Both of my brothers enlisted. One of my daughters and her ex are 20-year Air Force veterans. My grandson is in a military academy now. That they devoted their lives to a country headed by a lawless thug is disappointing, to say the least. I'm glad my dad is dead so he doesn't have to see it. It would break his heart the most.

Words cannot express how much I appreciate the responses in this thread. Thank you.

[LittleGirl]

86. You're doing Yoga! Better than me

I’m struggling to get our daily walk in. The weather isn’t even an excuse.
Just not myself this year too. Very sorry for your loss.
Play music that inspires you to get up and dance!
It works! The Best for 2021.

[AirmensMom]

136. I have to do it first thing.

Before anything, before I can think of how much I don't feel like it. At this point, I don't want to break my streak of exercising daily for close to 4 years.

I'm not up for dancing, but am listening to some very nice Christmas music right now and relaxing.

Let's all hope for the best in 2021!

[LittleGirl]

188. Well done! Cheers! nt

[calimary]

87. I got the Thursday "ask" (for today) for our Call to Action email. I wrote a "poem"

THURSDAY:
Oh, Tidings of Comfort ...
‘Twas the Night before Christmas and all through the House,
Compassion not stirring, few hopes thereabouts.
The Senate was cozy, GOP-controlled.
But the people were needy and desperate and cold.
Heads were hung low from much COVID despair
Hoping vaccines and leadership soon would be there.
Children in cages, having lost mom and dad,
Only visions of food that more hungry have had.
The planet in peril, our climate gone wrong.
With our usual allies we don’t now belong.
Yet last month’s elections kicked up such a clatter
A negligent President - dumped with a splatter!
With Biden and Harris and help on the way
May we all have a more hopeful Christmas Day!

… with apologies to Clement Clark Moore who wrote “A Visit from St. Nicholas”, may this Christmas Eve bring a sense of encouragement, relief, and renewed optimism!
http://bit.ly/3mDzjzo

[AirmensMom]

141. That's great!

Love it!

Thank you.

[I_UndergroundPanther]

88. There is a

Mental health support group on DU .They are great supports. Go to the groups page the health section Mental health support group is in there.

Other than that I feel demoralized,tired and nervous about the coup potential and totally disgusted by trump and his pardons too. Some days are better than others. I got my gifts early and they are awesome. I really enjoy them . But I too feel like you do once I think of all the shit trump the magats and gop are screwing up.

[AirmensMom]

142. Thanks.

I'm glad you got some great gifts. Sounds like we feel somewhat similar about all the same stuff.

[Mickju]

89. I hear you.

I have many of those same feelings. There is nothing abnormal about them.

[AirmensMom]

143. Well, there is one thing ...

I don't feel so alone with those feelings now. I'm so appreciative for DU and members like you

OMG I just realized that sounded a lot like NPR when they say "... made possible by members like you."

[samnsara]

90. I am so so sorry all this is coming down on you right now...esp all your losses..

... Christmas at my house isnt as much sad as it is just plain difficult this year.

My 3 yr old Golden Retriever just had a 4K surgery on her torn ACL so she and I are tethered at the waist by her leash...for the next 8 weeks I have to sleep on the sofa and cant venture into warmer cozier parts of the house because its up stairs and stairs are a no no. Shes not even to be on slick surfaces..ha! Its a skating rink in my yard where I have to potty her..sometimes at 3 am. I already fell on my butt in the dark. My neighbors have been treated to more than one 'Christmas Story style-Ralphies Dad swearing loudly at the furnace' event. Good thing we are in the woods and they arent too close.

I did put up my tree..a very nice balsam fir flocked fake i bought last year.. and my masks are decorating it. Where I need to sleep with the dog is in the same room so the festive evening flash flash flash has to be turned off. No lights at night The big screen and sound system are also up stairs so no Xmas Eve Polar Express.

So I plan plan on keeping my tree and the outside lights up until I feel Ive had a chance to do Christmas right or at least get my fill of it. We are a very secular family but still there are things about the season i love..like Christmas Music. I love the classic Xmas movies but havent even watched them yet. Without the family gathering, the traditional Christmas Eve dine out to enjoy the season with the community, theres no need for Xmas at our house.

But still, its a beautiful, nice and deserved diversion that we are getting cheated out of.

[AirmensMom]

145. Ouch!

Poor pupper! Knee surgery is no fun for anyone or anyone around them! I do wish her the best recovery ... and I hope you can survive it as well.

LOL Great idea to decorate your tree with your masks. Love it! Can you stream Polar Express?

I wish you a slip-and-fall-free Christmas. It's the little things. And bigger, happier celebrations to come.

[Larissa]

91. Here's my favorite Christmas song

Performed by the famed Choir of King's College, Cambridge, it speaks to hope for tomorrow. "A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn."

[AirmensMom]

147. Love it!

Thank you.

[appalachiablue]

157. Beautiful, thanks for posting. I visited King's once while

studying at Christ's College, spectacular Gothic architecture and features.

[AirmensMom]

160. She cannot be convinced.

And if she does get it, it won't be bad. I am encouraged that she is afraid of being a carrier and could infect others, which she does not want to do.

She has always been healthy. It's a curse, actually. My in-laws were healthy until they died. Literally. They never got checkups or saw doctors for anything. Never took any meds. He died of heart failure. MIL was found unconscious in her car with a torn aorta and septicemia and died in the hospital hours later.

One time, years ago, our daughter fell on her rollerblades and skinned her leg. We lived 12 hours away. It was painful, but she didn't say anything that worried us. A few days later, something she said made us tell her to see a doctor NOW. She had a raging infection that could have cost her leg if she had waited.

She just doesn't believe that anything bad will happen to her. She is the exact opposite of me in that sense. I expect the worse almost as a matter of course. Then again, I've had several brushes with death.

[bluecollar2]

100. January 21st is nearly here

The cleansing of American civilization will begin on that day and I promise you will feel better.

For the next few weeks just try to think of how good when you see the Biden/Harris ticket take over and how you plan to celebrate!

[Botany]

115. 26 Days, 23 hours, 59 Minutes, and 59 Seconds. But who is counting?

https://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/to?p0=263&iso=20210120T12&msg=Time%20left%20until%20Trump%20leaves%20office

[bluecollar2]

118. Brilliant!!! N/T

[AirmensMom]

162. Yes!

Counting days, although I haven't gotten to counting hours yet.

[bluecollar2]

207. Merry Christmas! n/t

[mdbl]

102. My household mirrors your feelings

We will go into denial for a couple of days and enjoy our Christmas. That's our only defense.

[AirmensMom]

148. Denial works.

Great idea. What else can you do? We're stuck in this rabbit hole for now.

[appalachiablue]

104. You've expressed very well what many of us think and

feel about this chaotic dark time. But the light is coming soon. Happy holidays and peace to you.

Music does lift the spirit, it's a gift to the soul and mind and present in every culture for thousands of years.

Specialists also think that listening to music elevates natural feel good chemicals in the brain. I posted several articles about this in the Health Seaction here in the last year or so.

Peace to you and yours.

https://www.verywellmind.com/surprising-psychological-benefits-of-music-4126866

[AirmensMom]

150. I was a musician.

My mom was always the choir director wherever Dad was stationed and always made me sing alto in all her choirs. Christmas music is in my blood. I play piano and used to play violin. So it's a big deal when I'm not feeling like music.

But the music is playing now and I'm feeling better reading all these replies and trying to answer them all. Might take all day and I might not be able to, but I'm sure going to try. It has helped so much!

[vercetti2021]

106. I'm so sorry

I know how it feels. It's a horrible feeling this year. We can't do anything

[AirmensMom]

151. Thank you.

I am feeling better after reading all the responses. And I turned on the music.

[vercetti2021]

184. Wish that would help

I've burnt myself out

[Heartstrings]

109. It is and has been a struggle....

We’re making the best of a horrible situation. We’ll zoom tonight but it won’t come close to our “normal”.

Thankfully we are all unscathed 🤞🤞

Merry Christmas!

[AirmensMom]

152. No one is unscathed.

Maybe you didn't get sick or lose jobs. But we are all touched by this unspeakable tragedy.

Merry Christmas to you! Enjoy your zoom. Imagine this nightmare without it.

[Heartstrings]

159. You're so correct.....

I should have been more specific. My immediate family has been “unscathed” by this virus, meaning we haven’t gotten it. My son was tested on Tuesday and is awaiting results. 🤞🤞 My daughter has lost her job but she’s alive. We all have food, a roof over our heads. We are able to zoom, many are not.

We are thankful for what we have....

[AirmensMom]

161. I knew what you meant.

I'm just saying that it's a matter of degree. Life has been changed for everyone. Worse for some.

My best to you and your family. I hope your son's test is negative and that your daughter finds another job where she can be safe.

[Heartstrings]

167. Thank you.

We’ll all get through this together. I knew in 2016 that it was going to be bad, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would be this horrendous.

Our temps have plummeted to the mid teens and I worry about those without shelter and heat. There are people, with children, living in their cars. I would offer up my extra bedroom but...covid. Wish I had a 2 car garage, at least they would have shelter from the frigid temps.

I volunteered at the local drive-thru hot meal “delivery” last night. We set a record....769 meals donated from a local restaurant and given to whoever drove thru. Santa was there for the kiddos. We also gave out bread, cookies and milk. One little girl was so happy, “ now we have cookies and milk for Santa and his reindeer!”. I sponsored one family for Christmas presents. Maybe she’s the little girl that only wanted a “doll with a warm blanket to keep her warm”......😥

[cilla4progress]

111. This thread has helped beyond description!

My struggle is different: I am an optimistic and idealistic person. I am beyond grateful that my work is helping primarily low-income monolingual Spanish-speaking women, some undocumented but working hard in low-level jobs to sustain our American lifestyle, leave oppressive sometimes abusive marriages, and their children, along with them.

I live a privileged life, which I attribute to and acknowledge as a middle income, educated, long married white woman. I try to pay for my privilege through financial donations, political activism, and my work. I recognize it's never enough, and I believe POC should be elevated in our society for their many contributions and long suffering at the hands of white supremacy!

My issue is my sad daughter! We have one child, a now-27 year old, who is mostly independent and has a good job with a nonprofit in a cool college town a day's drive from us. After quarantining, she arrived home for the break last night.

She is clearly experiencing a low level of depression, is quite negative, which includes disdain for me, lack of joy for good things in her life, like her great job that she so strongly aspired to. We have been close, and have also struggled in our relationship, through the years. I don't know how to help her, and also - shamefully- feel some resentment at her bringing her negativity here, when I am trying to remain positive, myself.

I honestly searched online this morning for online counseling for the issue, thinking I shouldn't bring it here, to DU.

This is why I found this thread so encouraging. It is really true that sharing your own vulnerability can meaningfully, palpably, help others. It has also helped me to see more clearly the impacts of the current state of affairs on her. I tend to channel my grief into anger, initially, then action. I dont understand negativity well.

So, thank you, DU, and AM! Blessed be!

[AirmensMom]

158. Thank you so much for sharing that!

First, I commend you for sharing your privilege. We need more of that in this world.

Our daughter is having somewhat similar issues. She graduated with her MS this spring and was rewarded with a wonderful job teaching at the same university, which she gets to do from home during Covid. She owns her own home, has 2 new kittens, and the world is her oyster at this point. She's young and healthy. And she's fearless, which she does not get from me. She doesn't pay much attention to politics, so she doesn't really share all my sources of sadness. The thing is Covid. These should be the happiest years of their lives and they know it. Yet there is this dark cloud hanging over everyone. Mine regularly tells me that she is going stir crazy. I really feel bad for the young people right now.

I know my own relationships with my daughters have run hot and cold. Therapists have told me that mother/daughter relationships tend to be complicated. It's hard not to resent her while looking from the outside into her life. I doubt they ever really tell us what's going on so all we know is what we see.

Not everyone has a clear vision of the actions they can take. You are a great example for your daughter. I do understand negativity, actually. In my case it has to do with helplessness. Or the feeling that whatever I do won't make a difference. As you can see by the mere fact that I posted this thread, I don't have the answers.

You're welcome and thank you too!

[cilla4progress]

171. You are a treasure,

AirmensMom. What a wonderful conversation you kicked off.

Thank you!

[OneBlueSky]

113. I hear you, sister . . . and feel every bit of your anguish . . .

while my personal losses are nowhere as painful as yours, my take on the overall gestalt of things (if that's the right word) is equally difficult to handle . . . like you and everyone else, I don't know what's going to happen next, or what that grotesque excuse for a human being is planning for his final month . . .

all I can tell you is "this too shall pass" . . . we survived Nixon, Reagan, and two Bushes, and we'll survive this one as well . . . granted that our current "leader" is several degrees of magnitude worse than any previous, and granted that he's managed to hoodwink millions into his cult . . . all that means is we'll have to work harder and longer to undo the damage and re-affirm what America is truly about . . . we have an incoming president who may well be the perfect person to initiate this process, so we can be, if not optimistic, at least hopeful . . .

hang in there, friend . . . there's lots and lots of us feeling much the way you do . . . we just have to keep supporting the new administration and supporting each other . . . the United States was founded on principles of liberty and equality that aren't going to die no matter how hard Trump tries to kill them . . . as the whole story of the tragedy that is Trumpism becomes clearer and clearer with time, even most of his supporters will eventually remember what America is really all about . . .

prayers and good vibes coming your way from all directions, from thousands of people you don't even know . . . understand that, and know that "this too shall pass" . . . the idea that is America is simply too good to believe otherwise . . .

God bless . . .

[AirmensMom]

164. Thanks.

I'm feeling much better now. Listening to music and sitting with my kitties, soaking up all the DU love.

[CrispyQ]

114. Start with one song.

A DUer posted this, this morning. I'd forgotten how much I love this song & it seems very mood appropriate for this year.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/10181446245

You know what they say—when you're going through hell, keep going. That's the only way out. Hang in there!

[AirmensMom]

165. I've listened to 3 albums already!

Wahoo!

Yeah, I'm feeling pretty lazy now because that's all I've done besides reading through and answering all these wonderful replies. But that's what it's about, connecting with people. Thank you!

[liberal_mama]

123. I feel the same way

I'm disappointed in so many people, even my husband.

[AirmensMom]

166. I'm so sorry.

I don't know what's happening with your husband. I'm just sorry it's disappointing. And I wish peace for you.

[marlakay]

129. Just realized reading this I haven't listened to a song either!

I decorated a bit and have a tree but no Christmas songs this year.

Last night I told my husband I am going to miss the tree, the lights make me feel better.

My hubby and I live out of state from family and most years are alone so that part is normal. But we usually go out to eat on the Eve and go to the movies Christmas afternoon.

This year we are watching new George Clooney movie on Netflix tonight, and I believe new movie on HBO tomorrow. And new grandson born on Christmas day last year is having a zoom birthday party tomorrow afternoon.

With my nia dance class closed and just couldn't get into it at home, my exercise has been walking the dog. I told the dog (Robbie) that he is saving my life because most days I would probably sit like a lump if not for him.

I hear ya with the fear, and I keep hoping Joe's team will be as smart and organized as my expectations are. I bet he has plans for military to help. Sometimes I think I could figure it out better than Trump he has done such a crappy job. And I have zero leadership skills.

If today and tomorrow become too sad follow my lead with movies and I also read mindless fiction sometimes in my bath with lots of candles. We need all the soothing we can get! The wine sounds good.

Hugs & peace ☮️

[AirmensMom]

168. Try it.

I took the advice of so many DUers and listened to music. Just finished my 3rd album (I don't know what they're called anymore) and will pull up another one when I get up. It's helping.

We bought a tree after Christmas last year, so this is the first year we put it up. It's very pretty. Kitten thinks so too. And it doubles as an exercise gym for her.

Tell Robbie thank you for saving your life. Exercise is so important and I'm a big fan of it. Mind you, I don't like it. But I do it.

Nothing against you, but I have the dumbest hound dog ever born. She's beautiful and sweet, but dumb. She could do better than Trump too. And definitely wouldn't cause as much harm. It's difficult to think of anything at all, including a rock, that would do as badly as he's done at leading anything.

Do whatever you can to get through the day. Tomorrow and after that and after that.

[marlakay]

198. Robbie is a golden retriever

And gives us so much love, and of course us to him! 😛

I also listened to the old fashioned songs posted here on YouTube, then listened in car to Frank Sinatra songs. I am sticking to the old stuff.

Went for walk just us no dogs allowed in Lithia park in Ashland, but the park and creek that runs through it is so worth the walk. I was pleased to note even outside on trail 95% were wearing masks! 😁

[StarlightGold]

130. I totally get it.

My favorite day of the year is December 26. All the stress, preparation etc. are done.
And I have former “family” that I had to back away from because they are RW stooges. They are also extremely toxic in the mix. Am I really supposed to listen to them saying that putting children in cages is sad, but thems the breaks. And then say, “great, let’s eat!”. Not a chance.
What I’ve found helpful when I get depressed (other than my meds) is not trying to be happy. I just let myself be that way and pamper myself more. Took me a long time to figure that out. It takes away the added burden of feeling like a failure because I can’t get happy.
You have us to vent to anytime and hopefully your feelings of discouragement dissipate somewhat.

[AirmensMom]

169. OMG!

Really? They say that? Ours just avoid it altogether and change the subject. Husband has finally decided to "divorce" them.

I'm very thankful that DU is there for me. I really didn't expect anything except maybe a few "buck-up"s. The problem is that I do beat on myself for not being happy. But I do feel better now.

[StarlightGold]

180. Actually figuratively but

during the first months of isolating, one of them DID say “well we can’t shut down because of a small population of elderly. They were going to die anyway.”
Now THAT is a direct quote.
Kids in cages, they see as a small price to pay to “secure our borders.”

[Blaukraut]

131. For me it's the rage I feel all the time.

I've always been an emotional person in all directions, but in the last few years it's been anger constantly. It got worse the closer I followed politics. But once you do get involved and informed, it's hard to step back from that and live your life less politically, if that makes sense.

I also have a daughter who thinks covid isn't that bad. Doesn't take precautions, goes out to eat with our granddaughters, and only wears a mask indoors when it is required. Thankfully she moved to Arizona, so I don't always see her being stupid.

I honestly believe that when this is all over, everyone would benefit from therapy.

Hang in there, AirmensMom. You're not alone, even if it seems like it sometimes.

[AirmensMom]

170. Yes.

The rage is there. I would love to go back to when I didn't know or care about politics. No, you can't go back.

I'm glad your daughter isn't close enough to infect you. The thing is that she could be spreading it without knowing. That's how it works with this virus.

It helps to know that I'm not alone, although I don't really like the idea of so many people feeling so sad.

[SheltieLover]

132. Hugs to you!

Please know you are not alone in this mess.

At leaast you put up a tree.

Not in the mood either.

[AirmensMom]

172. I did that.

The tree has been up for a few weeks but didn't really make it feel a lot more festive. I thought it would, but I still didn't want to listen to music. Today I listened to music thanks to all the caring people here. That actually did help!

My husband just finished making dough for cinnamon buns. He's determined to make me eat a day's worth of calories in one bun.

back to you!

[SheltieLover]

187. Glad the music helped!

And how sweet of your hubby to bake to cheer you!

I bought a turkey to make today & just can't get motivated to stuff it in the oven. I'll be angry with myself later when I get hungry.

I think I'll read for a while & take a nap.

[Hortensis]

135. Take a vacation from politics and cut screen news out of your life.

Seriously.

It sounds like you're doing a lot of good things, but they're not enough to maintain mental balance and resilience while wallowing in political media's for-profit product.

Replace it with smart articles that deepen understanding of a wide range of issues. Push out fear and hopelessness and refill with the kind of genuine knowledge that doesn't "bleed" and "lead." Get out of the political moment and into the big view.

DU and cable political entertainment won't be going anywhere while you do a reality reset.

And maybe start reorienting by writing down a list of your blessings. Start with the basics, like running water and shelter you consider home, and imagine what it'd be like to not have them. But you do.

Consider getting a mood stabilizer if that doesn't help. The dumbest thing I ever did was to go through menopause without assistance for the chemical imbalances. Over two years (!) robbed of my attention span and simple ability to enjoy and be happy.

[AirmensMom]

173. I only read in the morning.

Mostly DU. I'm on unusually long today because of all the wonderful support in this thread.

We don't even get TV, so the only video I see is from DU. In that sense, I don't really have that much of an overload. But I do have trouble getting it out of my head.

I have plenty of blessings. The sadness really isn't about me. There is not a pill in the world that will help with the grief over what we have collectively lost.

[Hortensis]

185. Okay, let's examine, what have you collectively and individually "lost"

that those moving into the rift won't restore and build on? Anything?

Humanity's history has never been a straight ascent; it's constant battles with many steps back for all the advances. No to "grief" over imaginary forever losses and yes to understanding that it's always been this way, and that history's more dramatic moments call for commitment to our beliefs, not grief and abandonment.

I'm grimly positive that the current disruptions have, as they always do, loosened the binds of institutional stasis and created new opportunities to finally do things that needed to be done long ago.

In the 14th century, the literally unimaginable deaths of a third of the people of the western world were both devastating beyond anything we can comprehend and helped enable the incredible advances in humanity's knowledge and wellbeing that came after. Our world arose from that, and our little current disruptions are absolutely nothing that we can't rebuild better in amazingly little time because of the unprecedented materials we have to work with. In spite of our problems, humanity's never had so much potential for planetary wellbeing. Average lifespans are in the 70s and severe poverty far, far lower than it's ever been in human history, and that's while screwing up dealing with those changes really badly.

As for our supposedly lost "norms," they exist in the minds and principles of real people and our very real culture, not magic, mystical manuscripts that once destroyed are lost forever. More people might have voted instead of whining if they understood the way it always is, and I'd get to be more excited and less grimly determined right now. Now much more we can do now with just a bit more power! And in practical terms, bureaucrats of principle hid the mission statements and procedure manuals they inherited before turning their offices over to the incoming barbarian hoards

Betterment is humanity's trajectory, "that arc of justice," as just a little reading in big-picture history would prove. Even wars so far merely create longer down periods, giving way to bigger highs.

And since you're okay yourself, I'm guessing you'd do even better as one of the knowledgeably committed billions who help make that happen, instead of the billions who have always had to be dragged along kicking and whining by the rest.

[Vivienne235729]

138. It is a rough time. The effects of covid are overwhelming on so many levels.

The distance learning is really hard on my daughter but we can't let her go back to school when she goes and spends time with my mother. So we spent the past couple of weeks assessing and reorganizing what we can do to make this distance learning work. The kids miss their friends and their teachers. They're sick of us. But the pandemic is raging right now and we can't really cut corners and pretend it doesn't exist like so many people around us. It is frustrating to say the least.

And then on top of all that, the nonstop gaslighting from trump and his cabal are utterly exhausting. He couldn't even lose. We have to deal with him acting like a complete jackass....all the way to Jan 20. Ugh. It has been a very long 4 years. All the way to the bitter end. I just hope he gets his karma. Bc then I can breathe a little easier knowing we have reestablished a sense of law and order again.

Hang in there and Merry Christmas.

[AirmensMom]

174. You are correct.

I've heard so many people say that distance learning is hard. My daughter teaches college and it's hard on her as well. It's not a nice way for your daughter to spend her childhood. No doubt she doesn't really understand how devastating the alternative might be.

You nailed it with words I couldn't come up with: nonstop gaslighting. Yes. I think the plan is to exhaust us. We're weeks away from kicking his ass out of our house. I just hope it all works the way it's supposed to.

Merry Christmas to you too.

[Grasswire2]

144. Birds. Can you see birds outside your window?

New study shows that people who can watch birds are 29percent happier. And that it's as good as getting a pay raise.

We recently put a suet cage attached to the picture window with suction cups. The activity there is insane and very cheering.

But seriously. The best remedy for the blues is to look outside yourself to help someone who really, truly, needs a hand and is worse off than you are. Take a walk and look around -- look for someone who needs a ten spot. Those of us who have shelter, groceries at will, some measure of comfort are more blessed than most of the people in this world. We can each brighten someone's day.

I'm going for a walk now and will give the barista a $20 tip, purchase something from the local chocolatier (hand-dipped since 1932), take some walnuts in my pocket to feed the crows in the trees at city hall, and if someone looks like they need a cheery word, give it to them. The sun is shining, birds and squirrels galore, and I'm feeling free and choose to set aside everything else for today.

(and no, I am not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, and I have the same fears for my family and my own health)

[AirmensMom]

176. Well, not today.

But thanks to other replies, I decided to try some music. And it did help.

We donate to many organizations. Frankly, the fact that it's more needed than ever is upsetting.

[SammyWinstonJack]

149. Tonight in East TN it'll be in the teens feel like 4. I took in a stray dog

He had been roaming the rv park for a few weeks. Couldn't catch him until yesterday. He was a mess. Gave him a somewhat adequate groom. He's warm and safe now and I'll take him to the vet next week.

Got me out of my funk and I'm greatful for that. I've been as you have written here. Ready for it be over with tRumpVirus and his reign of terror.

[AirmensMom]

177. Good for you!

We are neighbors. Wow, that is cold!

More than ready for the reign of terror to be over with.

[Dukkha]

153. Right there with you

I did zip zero nada this year because I have no reason at all to celebrate. The world is an awful place. The county is unrecognizable from 4 years ago and truly lives up to the name "Deplorable" I am completely alone this year. The pandemic is severe in my county (Franklin County Ohio) so no get-togethers as my brother and half sister are front line workers in hospitals. Everyone I know has a family, kids, spouse, or significant other to get through it. I do not. Divorced this year I only have an empty quiet home. My mother died February this year. This is a day, week, year I just want to be over with. My mental health is on the verge of total collapse.

The only fitting song for 2020 Christmas is Vera Lynn - The little boy that Santa Claus forgot.

[AirmensMom]

178. Hugs to you.

I'm sorry you're alone. That must be horrible. I hope things are better next year. And I wish I could do something to help. Remember to come here to at least talk with people.

[mtnsnake]

156. Thanks for sharing this. You expressed yourself beautifully.

I'm sure that many of us can relate to what you're going through, although maybe not to the same extent as what you are going through. Your post is very healing, though, because it let's people know that they are not alone with similar sentiments that they/we are also feeling. All the best to you in hoping that things start to improve for you and everyone else who feels similarly. Better days ahead. Stay strong.

[AirmensMom]

179. Thank you.

The responses in this thread have helped. There is a lot to be said for people understanding how you feel.

All the best for you as well.

[Catalunya]

175. Not alone x 80,000,000

I hear and feel this. Details differ, but we are feeling like you. In fact I feel less alone this Xmas (spending it with just my partner) because of your post putting some of these feelings into words.

[AirmensMom]

181. Yeah.

I'm getting the impression that many people are having such feelings. I didn't expect really to feel better by posting, but I do feel much better now. DU is a wonderful place.

My best to you and your partner.

[Initech]

182. I am losing my mind.

I haven't exactly had the best year either. This year has completely destroyed my mental health and I'm getting really sick of all the doom and gloom. My biggest hope is that next year we will have a competent president in the White House and get us back on the right track. I hope that 2021 is much better!

[SleeplessinSoCal]

186. Depression is ravaging us like Covid.

I'm on a pretty serious antidepressant. It allows me the space to compartmentalize. I highly recommend.

Many of us need a little Christmas. Dickens' A Christmas Carol might be the gift that keeps on giving.

[sprinkleeninow]

190. You're not alone in this. I care about the meaning of Christmas, but not what it has turned into.

One evening and one day.

This year was the worst ever.

Alone with my fur daughter. And that's how it is. I have wonderful neighbors and a few acquaintances. I go to a favorite grocery store for affirmation, uplifting and sustenance (in more ways than food). 😊

People are placed in my path--that having to be from above.

May you receive the peace that passes understanding during Christmastide in the midst of all which has been foisted upon us.

💖 🌟 🕊 🎄 🎅 ☃️

[happy feet]

191. I understand.

Not much in the spirit myself. Haven’t listened to one XMas CD. I’m glad you’re taking care of your health. Stay safe. It’ll be awhile before any semblance of normality.

[MustLoveBeagles]

192. It's okay to feel this way

If you don't feel like celebrating Christmas then don't. I've been depressed for awhile now as well. I'm waiting on a referral to talk to a counselor. Maybe it would help you to talk to someone, just my opinion only. My doctor told me that referral requests and feelings of depression and anxiety have soared this year. I guess that shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. I'm sorry you're going through this and for what's happened to your husband's friends. As for your other friend, it might be good idea to avoid people not grounded in reality. Or at least request that she not bring up politics with you.

The funny thing is I'm the opposite of you regarding the Christmas music. I like Christmas music but can usually only tolerate listening to it in very small doses. This year I've been listening to it every chance I get and have been posting Christmas videos here almost everyday. I think it's to remind myself of happier times.

[dianaredwing]

193. For what its worth

I feel the same. I have the CDs out but just can't bring myself to play them. Even Joan Baez.

An old friend that I was estranged from died (not from covid) this last week at 104 years old. Her step-grandson who used to be a friend is a Trumpster and I haven't seen or heard from him in years.

My family seems to be healthy and all the neighbors are doing okay. Everyone bitches but New Orleans' mayor has initiated some pretty strong rules against spreading the disease and I'm sure they have helped.

I haven't traveled a lot in some time but the fact that I can't is so frustrating.

I have always been somewhat political and voted either Democratic or green, but I don't recall ever knowing who was running in the state of Georgia before.

I am tremendously thankful that despite all their theft and underhandedness, the Republicans were not able to steal this election. I know they don't want an old fart like me, but I am afraid I'd have to at least try to sneak across the border into Mexico or sell everything and get a boat.

So, hang in there AirmensMom you are in very good company and I trust that Biden, Harris & Crew are up to the fight for our democracy.

[sellitman]

194. The Orange Monster is on his way out and

The Orange Monster is on his way out and the Covid Vaccine apparently works.

The coming year will get better.

I'm hopeful Georgia turns the tide.

Keep it hopeful.

[mvd]

196. I hope I can make you feel better

Know that you are not alone. It has been an awful year. It is just me and my mom this year at Christmas and we feel lonely. We got some nice gifts (a new 32 inch TV for the family room - I don’t need bigger - and new Sony headphones and clothes) but otherwise we really need that stimulus money. We’re always in bad money related stress. I miss how Christmas used to be with my dad, who died in 2018 from cancer. And extended family has drifted away.

I haven’t listened to much Christmas music either. See if you can put some on tonight just to feel the mood. Do what you feel comfortable with. And I don’t think there will be a problem in getting Biden in. No martial law will be allowed and we have the House to stop shenanigans with the electors.

Wishing you the best, and hope next year is better!

[dlk]

197. Sending healing thoughts your way

This is a traumatic time for Americans. I’m very sorry for all of your challenges. Please know you’re not alone. We’re here for you. At some point this will be behind us. Tomorrow will eventually be better. Hang in there.

[llmart]

199. "When I'm not on the verge of tears, I'm in a rage inside or just numb."

Well, now you've just described me to a tee. I vacillate between the tears and then the numbness. I just read through the entire thread and I'm sure you can now see how many of us are right there with you this year. It helped me tremendously to read through every post and really absorb it. This will be the first Christmas my son will not come home. He's always lived in another state from me since he went off to college when he was 18 and now he's 50 (egads, when did that happen?). He and I are very close and I usually only see him once a year at Christmas. I have a married daughter nearby and she has my one and only grandchild who just turned five and these early years are so precious at Christmastime, but I guess I'll just see them in the garage as we exchange gifts tomorrow. It's extremely cold now so it'll be a brief, mask-wearing occasion that's for sure.

Even from the beginning of these past four horrible years, I could not allow myself to see or hear that ugly family invading our White House. Now I'm counting the days until we no longer have to get a steady diet of it everywhere. Such hate filled people. What went wrong in their growing up years that they are so hateful? Why are there so many in our country who think that's OK? I've given up looking for answers and just have supreme disappointment in the direction our country has taken.

My daughter takes wearing a mask seriously but she doesn't seem to be worried about going to stores to shop or getting her hair done or taking her daughter to different lessons, etc. She also has no problem having her in-laws over or going to their house, so when I say I'm not having anyone over for the holidays I get the vibe that she doesn't really get it. Besides that, she goes to her father's or he comes over to her house, and he's stupid so I don't trust him not to be a carrier. It'd be just my luck that he'd pass it along to her and then I'd end up with one last awful gift from him. And believe me when I say that I received some pretty awful gifts over the years from him. They are in fact legendary in my family.

It sure helps to know that we are not alone in our feeling this way. All you have to do is read the posts to now that there isn't a lot of Christmas cheer this year. I put up a tiny tree with a handful of decorations, decorated my mantel with fairy lights and the front door with a wreath and then looked at it all and thought, no one's coming to my front door this year so why did I bother? I don't even use my front door in the winter. I do like looking at my little tree while the fireplace is burning and I'm watching TV, but there was no baking cookies with my precious granddaughter this year and I'm guessing I'll see video of her opening the presents I'll give her.

I have never been much of a Christmas person myself but when my children were little I was able to pull it all together for their sakes. It's really difficult when you're older and you have lost so many people both family and friends and you don't recognize your country and country mates any longer and all the values you were taught in school and at home have flown out the window. Throw in a pandemic that is raging out of control and it's a wonder we're not all pulling our hair out.

So thank you for this thread. It may not have solved any problems but it has lifted some of us up a wee bit and hopefully you too. I listened to Handel's Messiah last night because it's was a tradition of my family growing up. We were not religious but we were a musical family and music has always been important to me. My oldest brother who is no longer with us was the baritone soloist for years in a large community chorus that performed the Messiah in an old, beautiful church. As a child I went to hear it even though it bored me to tears and then when I got older I sang in it for three years before I moved out of state. So listening to it last night brought tears and memories from long ago. I then called my sister and we reminisced about our Christmases past in our very large, very poor family and laughed ourselves silly. We talked for three hours and she told me I gave her the best present ever because I have all the memories that she doesn't and they are precious to her.

We will make it through this and the vaccines are going to right this ship along with President Biden.

Peace and love to you and know that what you did just by posting your vulnerabilities at this time of year is valuable to so many.

[Upthevibe]

200. AirmensMom...

After reading all of these posts, I guess you now see that you're not alone in your struggle.

I'm happy you got some ideas on how to make it a little easier.

I don't think anyone could have possibly imagined the year we've endured. Having said that, the fact that Joe Biden & Kamala Harris won the election is so comforting to me that it's kind of overriding the sadness I'm feeling because I have hope. I have hope that with Biden/Harris taking the lead, we'll see some major and important issues dealt with. Unfortunately, we can NEVER, EVER (for the rest of our lives) let down our guard for one minute.

I'm going to watch some feel good movies. That's what I normally do when I want to feel better.

I hope you get through the next few days okay....

[bottomofthehill]

202. I am so sorry you feel this way

I expressed similar thoughts a few weeks ago, I am terrified that we are so close to seeing the light at the end of the tunnel with the two vaccines on the market and more on the way. I was so excited that help was finally on the way then suddenly I went to a dark place, scared that I would not live to see the vaccine. I got some support here and some from friends and family and I am sleeping again it is so tough when your support network slips.

Remember, there is light at the end of the tunnel, there are vaccines, people are getting them, there will be a new president who will use the defense production act, the new president is a decent man, we will be in a better place. We are getting there slowly but we are getting there.

Holidays are always difficult for me, this one is no different but we are THIS CLOSE to turning the corner. Hang in there soon we will be singing Happy Days are Here Again!

Merry Christmas, please know you are loved.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

203. Death of a parent + trump caused it thru his lack of warning + our

absolute hatred for him for other actions, plus families not with loved ones when they die. Plus state government, regardless of party, who didn't mandate to protect the safety of the greatest generation in their nursing homes. 40% of Covid deaths are in nursing homes.

Say what you like about Jim Cramer, I saw him tear up the other day in CNBC, about how it's just "ok" that our elders die. No one else is saying this!

[electric_blue68]

204. I'm sorry you are feeling so down ...

Last edited Fri Dec 25, 2020, 04:12 AM - Edit history (1)

sounds like you've gotten some extra causes for feeling upset, amongst a year where we're all struggling to one degree or another.
.
I'm glad you're doing things that still keep you body, and mind more balanced.
You sound like an empathetic person. You derserve more moments of joy & beauty. Keep listening to your beautiful music. Let the good that is there, and elsewhere lift your spirits a bit. Let some others carry the worries for a bit and rest. Everyone has the right to lay their worries down for at least a while. May ✨✨ light✨✨surround you.

[smirkymonkey]

205. Sorry AirmensMom!

I am glad you are doing things to take care of yourself, but hang in there. It will get better. You are doing better than most.

Your last paragraph convinces me of that. I know it's hard for everyone, but it's great that you are still able to still able to take good care of yourself. I won't go into the many problems that others are struggling with, which is not to diminish yours. It's great that you are still able to be positive during such a difficult time, so know that it is strength on your part. It's hard for a lot of people to even keep that up.

I am trying hard to count my blessings even though I will be alone this Christmas for the first time in my life. I'm just grateful that everyone in my family is still alive and well and that we will all be able to speak to each other tomorrow and hopefully have another chance to get together again once again after the vaccine or once this pandemic has subsided.

I think the worst is almost over. It won't be long before we are rid of this menace in the White House.