Trump Claims Constitution Invalid Because It Was Signed by Dead People

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

DALTON, GEORGIA (The Borowitz Report)—Advancing a new conspiracy theory during a rally on Monday, Donald J. Trump claimed that the United States Constitution is invalid because it was signed by dead people.

“All we’re hearing is, the Constitution this and the Constitution that,” Trump said. “I’m telling you, as sure as you’re sitting there, that every person who signed that piece of paper is dead.”

Trump said that he had his personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani investigate the signatories to the Constitution, “and he found a scandal bigger than Hunter Biden’s laptop.”

“Their signatures do not match the signatures of any living person,” he said. “Not only are these people dead, but they have been dead for a long, long time. This should never have been allowed to happen.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-claims-constitution-invalid-because-it-was-signed-by-dead-people

[Mz Pip]

1. I can see him saying this.

Satire and reality are far too close these days.

[mr_lebowski]

2. More satire that is actually entirely believable ... the hallmark of this ignominious 4 year era nt

[Mr.Bill]

6. Yep, I just read it to my wife

and she thought it was for real.

[ARPad95]

3. That is truly the point we're at. This nutjob doesn't even know what century he's in & probably

would declare that. Problem is all of the imbecilic MAGATs who would nod their heads in agreement with him.

[burrowowl]

4. Kick!

[Under The Radar]

5. And none of the signers knew the Pledge of Allegiance

[Paladin]

7. Stomach-turning that it takes so long to recognize satire.

Yet another shitty trait that trump bequeaths a tired, suffering nation. I hope he burns in hell, and right soon.