This is becoming one of the hardest things I have ever done

[Oak2004]

There is no doubt in my mind I must turn in my brother, who was one of the seditionists. I love my brother but I love my country too, and frankly the sooner he is talking to the FBI the less likely he will be party to an attack on inauguration day.

The thing is, I know him. He is a sad and lonely guy with a substance abuse problem, who got involved in all this because he found some white supremacist "friends" at a bar. They've been nothing but a problem for him for several years, but to him they are the only thing standing in the way of a life empty of people.

That is, except for me.

And here I am, in what by all rights looks like an act of supreme betrayal, typing my tip into the FBI tips form, then pulling back, then starting again, but not quite being able to finish the deed.

Yet. Because I know I have to. And I will. And it is tearing my heart apart.
.

[dem4decades]

1. Tough call, I wonder if this goes further if his "friends" from the bar have him do worse?

[intrepidity]

2. Oh man, that is brutal

I feel for you, I really do.

[blm]

3. IMO, you are probably saving your brother's life.

Because the next round will be a bloodbath. You don’t want him dead or spending the rest of his life in jail.

[Mr.Bill]

7. Exactly.

I know it must be hard, but you are doing the right thing.

[groundloop]

13. Not only that, but you just might be supplying the dose of reality which he needs

Quite a few years ago I took part in getting someone close into drug rehab. Hardest thing we'd ever done, but it turned out for the best. Many people need a 'shock' event before they're willing to admit they need help.

[stollen]

85. Yes. 1st law of physics

[iluvtennis]

101. + agree. had same experience with a brother of mine wrt drug addiction. nt

[Paladin]

35. Agreed. Tough to do, but in the long run it needs to happen. (nt)

[HubertHeaver]

71. To his "friends" he is cannon fodder. A bullet-stopper to be put in the front line.

Just one of those useful idiots.

[johnnyplankton]

75. Agreed

If the booze and drugs don't get him, maybe the violence will....

[Lokee11]

79. +1

FDT!

[TomSlick]

109. Agreed. It is better that he be arrested now than shot next time.

If these yahoos carry through with the planned "round two," the police reaction will be much more forceful.

Do your brother a favor, turn him in now.

[SharonAnn]

117. I have done that. But for a lower level crime.

[volstork]

118. Agree.

That doesn't necessarily make it any easier for you to take this step, but the long-term may be of benefit to him.

[DinahMoeHum]

132. +1000s

[MLAA]

4. Sending you 💖💖💕💕

[leftieNanner]

5. I cannot imagine how painful this is for you

Maybe consider this. If you don't turn him in and he participates in another "event" that gets much more violent, he could be very badly injured or killed. Perhaps if he has consequences for this behavior now, it might pull him back from the brink.

I don't know. I'm sending you good thoughts. Hope you can work through this.

[johnp3907]

6. As hard as it is-- it's the best thing to do all around.

Even for your brother.

[LastLiberal in PalmSprings]

41. Alcoholics Anonymous refers to it as "hitting bottom."

It's where you get to when you seek help out of desperation. It sounds like where your brother is right now.

The companion program to AA, called Al-Anon, has a principle they call "detach with love." You can love your brother without sparing him the consequences of his actions. It sounds like that's where you're conflicted. It will never be easy, but filing the report may be the best thing you can do for both of you.

This is easier to say than to do. After 20+ years in Al-Anon I find there are still some times I get sucked into my qualifier's drama. Fortunately I now have a great support network to help me return to sanity.

Having said that, I wish you and your brother all the best. He needs you more now than ever before.

I'll close with an Al-Anon slogan: "This too shall pass."

[johnp3907]

65. Not MY brother.

Although coincidentally my brother IS an alcoholic so I know what you’re talking about.

[LastLiberal in PalmSprings]

86. You have my sympathy.

I hope it turns out well for both of you.

[Evolve Dammit]

60. good comment. Agree. Lost my brother to Fox years ago, but this is another level. Terrorism. nt

[JudyM]

103. IMO Fox is complicit.

[BComplex]

136. Fox is not just complicit, it's causative.

They've been stirring the pot for this bunch for years.

[KPN]

152. Also, evangelical ministers and churches as well.

I have 3 siblings (there 9 of us in all) who have been sucked into Trumpism via their evangelical faith.

[JudyM]

157. Horrible.

The self-serving blinders of church “leaders” has been destructive enough before trump, and now it has doubtless cost lives.

I feel for you, this is so sad, KPN. Hoping they will somehow come to actually see the light... of reality.

[RealityCheque]

9. In my prayers. I admire your courage

[DownriverDem]

10. Sadly

I'd send the tip. So sorry.

[soothsayer]

11. That is some tough love right there

Don’t tell him it was you

[Demsrule86]

24. That is not tough love. I have a brother who served time...and prisons or horrible places.

Also, their lives are ruined. My brother lucked out his wife stuck by him and her family and ours helped him but even so it was horrible. I would not turn in my brother unless he killed someone...that is what I think

[soothsayer]

28. Well it's tough... and it's love

And it’s the right thing to do

[Demsrule86]

53. I don't think destroying any chance of a decent life your brother has is love of any sort. It would

different if this country had a better criminal justice system...but they don't. Take it from me...don't do it.

[Grasswire2]

128. agreed. People harden in prison, and experience horrors there.

I've visited many a prison in my work at a non-profit. Solitary, death row, general population....

Mobsters, gangs, violence...

I would find a way to keep my brother out, if possible. Talk him into turning himself in, with counsel, to redeem himself.

[wnylib]

129. Wouldn't it depend on what his participation was?

if he was part of the crowd, but did not participate in the violent attacks on people, I could uparticipatnot wanting to turn him in. But if he attacked people with the thingscthe seditionists used asxweapons and caused injuries, then loving or not, turningvhim in would be the right thing to do.

Is there a middle ground, like talkibg to him about coming forward himself to the FBI and offering whatever help or information he can? They will still prosecute him for something like this but might be a little easier on him because of his help.

[soldierant]

131. So you would sell all of us down the river

before you would turn in a relative for the crime of sedition, i.e., destroying the nation?

I wouldn't.

[IsItJustMe]

134. I don't know the situation, and I would suspect that you don't either. If the posters brother's

life is in danger, or his brother's actions have/or will put someone else's life in danger, then the poster has a moral obligation to do the right thing.

[Oppaloopa]

148. My niece was even denied medical care because she did not have the money to pay for it This was for

a white collar crime in a Florida prison. We did wire the money. This prison has been on TV for many rapes by guards.

[LakeArenal]

54. Maybe he will kill or get killed in the next rally?!?

Never disagreed with you before.

I get your point tho.

I don’t like my brother much. Bully.
Narcissist. Has good politics tho. So maybe that’s why I wouldn’t hesitate to turn him in.

[Demsrule86]

58. I have a brother who went to prison...it is more likely, he dies in prison. My brother was in

Rikers until he was convicted...he barely survived. Prison was bad too. Unless this guy has a bunch of guns and is threatening someone,I wouldn't do it. Have a family intervention. Talk to you brother...from the description he could be mentally ill or if all else fails pink slip him, put him in the hospital for 72 hours during the inauguration. Hell,they might even be able to help him.

[Grasswire2]

125. As someone who has read 13,000 letters from prisoners to me...

...when I worked as an editor in a prison reform organization, I would try very hard to keep family out.

Perhaps by consulting with an attorney if you can afford it, or by getting someone your brother respects to convince him to choose a route that would get him on the right side of the law.

Does your brother have an understanding of what might be his lot if he continues? If he goes to prison, he'll be lost forever, most likely.

[Oak2004]

139. he probably would not get prison time

He was on the grounds, physically standing _on_ the building, just outside the entrance, helping other people get up a wall and into the building.

I am all he has left of family, at least who are speaking to him. When he first got back he was terrified and feeling contrite. At that point I was prepared to cut him whatever slack -- as long as he was not intending to be cannon fodder for a fascist coup again.

But then he went to hang out with his "friends", and came back from hanging out with them proud of what he did and ready to do more. And _,that_ is when I understood he was going to need to be shocked back to reality for everyone's sake, his own included.

Assuming he has a halfway competent lawyer, and that he was honest with me about what he did, he'll get a couple of misdemeanors out of it. But more importantly it will keep him out of the violence they are planning for the inauguration. And with any luck, he'll be able to tell the FBI a lot about what happened and what his "friends" may be planning.

If he was not so ready to get sucked back into insurrection, it would be a much easier situation. But as long as he is spending time around his "friends" he is in real danger of either getting himself killed, or becoming party to murder.

[marlakay]

144. I know what its like to have someone you love

Be hanging out with a very bad influence. My older daughters boyfriend is a horrible influence, reason she voted for Trump, and he is a racist and many other things.

There was nothing illegal but I hate watching it, this past year I just never mention him.

Because you don't think he will go to jail and mostly because his friends are planning something in the future I would contact the FBI maybe anonymously if that's possible.

[True Blue American]

146. If that is true

You need to get him help.

[GoneOffShore]

150. This answers your question. You just have to be strong. Turning him in is the right thing to do.

Keep us updated.

[Oppaloopa]

147. I agree, I would give him the choice of rehab or prison.

His friends will all tell on him and I dont think he has enough money for a federal lawyer.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

12. You should do it, and make sure that you mention...

... the circumstances -- e.g., his "friends" -- as you've done here.

And I hope that your brother was among the aimless-looking crowd that I saw while it was transpiring. I doubt that the FBI and others are prioritizing them.

Edit: Better yet, I hope that he never entered the Capitol at all.

[hibbing]

14. Damn, my heart hurts, hang in there n/t

[SunSeeker]

15. I'm so sorry. I have a brother like that. I scanned the pictures expecting to see his face.

We haven't talked in a while, and I don't know if he went. So far I haven't seen his face. I hope I never do.

[stopwastingmymoney]

137. Me too, all of this

[Demsrule86]

16. I would never turn in my brother. I wouldn't do it.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

66. My parents arrived at the police station and...

... said, "Send him to jail!" when I was caught being an idiot with my teenage friends, vandalizing property.

Their parents were pissed at them too, but my parents made the black cop in the room raise his eyebrows like he was thinking, "Daaaamn."

Then the property owner was finally tracked down and he was much more lenient, thankfully, saying that he didn't want to ruin our lives. We all apologized profusely except for the one friend who had pretty much instigated the whole idiotic affair during a sleepover.

My parents eventually simmered down, but they kept asking for days how anyone as smart as me could've ever done such a thing.

An older brother who had performed worse in school was given more leeway by them for those sorts of things. as if he was just too dumb to do better.

Edit: My mother drove the "dumb" brother to a military recruiting station very soon after he graduated from a joint-vocational school, though, to get him out of the house ASAP. He had to repeat basic training, but he stuck with it and retired from the Air Force. He's now the most financially secure among all of my siblings.

[Karadeniz]

70. I wouldn't do it. He's not really a violent anarchist. Tell him what you know. Get a solemn vow that

Now that he knows what those people really are...trying to overthrow democracy... He won't participate again. Prison or a record could ruin him.

[GulfCoast66]

17. Was he actually involved with breaking into the Capital?

Or just at the rally. Nothing illegal about attending the rally.

But if he went in the building I don’t envy your choice.

[meadowlander]

18. You're doing him a massive favor.

Sounds like some serious intervention is needed to help him and he's not going to get that if nothing changes.

How would you feel if he went on to hurt himself or others and you didn't act when you had the chance?

[RockRaven]

19. I'm sorry, that is a tough position to be in... Try to remember that there is very likely to be a

bunch of violence on inauguration day and you very likely preventing him from being involved in that, either getting hurt or hurting someone else.

The consequences of the tip off will be unpleasant to say the least, but the alternative is potentially dire.

[chowder66]

20. I'm sorry you have to go through this but his actions have put you into this position. nt

You are doing the right thing for him, you and all of us. Thank you.

[denbot]

21. That sucks man.

Peace to you and yours.

[Jay25]

22. Wow!

I can only imagine how difficult this must be, I’m sorry for what you are going through.

[sinkingfeeling]

23. Is it possible he won't know the tip came from you? You need to do the right thing.

[OhNo-Really]

25. Could you warn him not to go or would that put you/fam in danger?

[birdographer]

26. I doubt you are the only one in this spot

But you have to do it, for his own good. If he pursues this and shows up on the 20th, he could so easily get killed. They will be waiting for him, with guns this time since they have been warned. Then his life won't just be empty of people, it will be empty of life.

[Mazeltov Cocktail]

27. I have no idea what I would do...

I can only say that I think what you are doing is extremely brave.

[TomDaisy]

29. feel the same sympathy for the next group of people they decide to hurt

[Bernardo de La Paz]

30. Understand you. Perhaps someone else might recognize him too and send a tip if you ask

It might be better to turn him in now than have him fall in deeper to worse crimes. You allude to this when you feel it might keep him out of Inauguration day messes. I think you are right. He doesn't need to know you sent in a tip. Any chance another person might recognize him from photos? Have them share the burden with you by tipping off the FBI as well. Or let them send the tip and get you out of that loop. You are not alone, I think.

A lot of crime can be reduced by addressing social problems. You can help your brother on the social side, perhaps more through agencies and charities. Talk to as many people as you can to get ideas. I wish I had more. But if nothing else, spending time with him and letting him talk and gently correcting him on the more extreme points.

[lillypaddle]

31. Yes, terribly painful

but you know what you have to do. He could easily die in the midst of the violence. You are saving his life, though he might not thank you, nor think so. You are very brave, and have my admiration.

[stillcool]

32. hard place and a rock

I feel for you.

[AmyStrange]

33. You never did tell us...

-

how you know your brother was there. The FBI are gonna want to know that too.

Personally, I think you're doing the right thing, and it WILL work out.

You'll see and thank you for sharing.
=========

[ananda]

34. I'm so sorry that had to happen.

This is bringing tears to my eyes.

[overleft]

36. you are doing the right thing.

Sometimes the tough love is the best love. It may save his life.

[BainsBane]

37. I'm sorry

What a tough decision.

[cp]

38. Consult your soul

You'll perceive what to do. You will love your brother, no matter what.
I'm so sorry. This is as hard as it gets.

[PatrickforO]

39. Be strong. Do it. If you don't and he goes to some further terrorist event,

he might kill somebody or plant a bomb or something. Turning him in now is the best thing for him, and definitely for the country.

[Traildogbob]

57. I agree

With an earlier post. You may save his life. These fools are planning another attack, this time armed and ready to kill. I do not believe this will be left to locals. There will be a BLM deterrence style forces, ready to defend the leaders and fellow protection forces. These yahoo’s are gonna find out what shooting back does. Drones with hell fire missiles kill en mass.
You do not want your brother to die for Trump. You will not forgive yourself for not trying to save his life.
He may turn in those fools for leniency and save many more from them.

[Maru Kitteh]

40. What you are doing is AN ACT OF LOVE. You may save his life

in more ways than one, and you may spare the life of another.

[Lakerstan]

42. By posting here, the decision has already been made in my opinion.

I could imagine a scenario where the FBI monitors this site and may already be taking action based on your post. I could be wrong.

[Tommymac]

43. Better some tough love from you now then years of regret

if he were to be hurt or killed in the next round.

As long as he was just one of those aimlessly wandering around and did not commit any other crimes except trespassing I'm sure he will not receive the maximum penalties. He will serve some time, but that may save his life.

Good luck. I feel for you.

[barbtries]

44. Strength.

I assume your brother could be turned in by someone else who knows him.
I don't envy this position you are in, but I think you are doing the right thing.

[Cozmo]

45. I'm sad that these terrorists have put their families in this position

Did your brother consider your feelings when he made his choices?

[BobTheSubgenius]

46. What a terrible dilemma!

I'm sorry you have such a heavy responsibility to face. Either choice could be the worst choice.

[littlemissmartypants]

47. I know you're making a difficult decision. I've been in your shoes.

Make sure that you mention the substance abuse issue. You may not feel like it now but you could be saving his life. I haven't regretted my decision, about my sister, one single day. She's much better off than she was and quite possibly still alive because of my actions.

Stay encouraged. Stay strong.

❤ lmsp

[Marie Marie]

48. Wow, that is a tough situation for you. If he is planning to be involved with more

of these actions, the consequences could get even worse for him and others. Sounds like you have decided that the right thing to do is to turn him in. I wish you peace with that decision - you are not responsible for his actions.

[Dem2theMax]

49. I would turn in anyone who turned against this country.

You are doing the right thing. You have no idea of what else could happen. What you are doing now can save his life. And very possibly the lives of others.

Don't feel guilt. Feel relieved that you are doing something to save him.

[obamanut2012]

50. Remember David Kaczynski

[tiredtoo]

51. Turning him in

is the best for all. You are doing the right thing absolve yourself.

[Happy Hoosier]

52. It's hard, but...

... you habe be saving his like and the lives of others.

[niyad]

55. All I can do send vibes for the best possible outcome for all concerned. Cannot imagine what

you are going through. Wishing you strength and courage.

[Flaleftist]

56. You're doing the right thing.

Next time, he may do something much worse.

[gypsy11]

59. I had to turn a family member in once

Not a brother, but a cousin that was almost like a brother to me. I too was torn. His picture was on the local news. They were looking for tips as to who he might be, as he had robbed a rest stop a few nights before. I went through what you are going trough right now, but in the end I contacted the police and told them who he was and where he might be found.

My reasoning was that it was better to do that then let him run wild - he has substance abuse issues too and a criminal history going back a long time- most of his life, really. He's been in jail more than out for most of his adult life. When he's out he always spirals down into crazy town given enough time. Anyway, long story short, I figured it was better to put him back where he does best (I'd rather see the poor guy in some kind of structured group home type halfway house dedicated to helping rather than jail- but that's another conversation) rather than one day see on the news that a cop shot him, or find out some trouble he got himself into killed him or that he had killed someone else in a substance induced haze.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for family/friends you care about is the hard thing, and what seems like the disloyal, cruel thing. It's really not though, it's the loving thing because it's what they need. To face consequences for their bad behavior. Enough consequences can sometimes trigger an epiphany. If that happens, then their lives can begin to get better.

[nolabear]

61. I am so sorry. You could be saving multiple lives though, including his.

[mountain grammy]

62. I honestly don't know what I'd do

I feel for you.

[Wicked Blue]

63. You may be saving his life

Imagine if he were shot or fatally injured in one of their riots.

My heart goes out to you.

[Delmette2.0]

64. Even Ted Kaczynski's brother suffered through this decision.

He had to convince his Mother first that it was the right thing to do.

I think you know you need to do this. Your brother could suffer more than you if you don't.

[Catherine Vincent]

67. That's got to be tough

Maybe he and his friends stayed outside the capitol and stayed away from the other white supremists? Very sorry you have to do this.

[samnsara]

68. think of it as tough love..he may be killed next time.

we are all here for you if you need to talk

[sanatanadharma]

69. Hard, yes , correct moral choice? Yes

Too many scared inner-child-acting-out adults in our national family.

Many explanations exist to explain (or try) self-destructive human choices; nature-nurture, biology, psychology, neurology, astrology, scientology, more.

Every choice a wo/man makes must be morally measured, yet we can not control the outcomes nor foresee the fallout.
Politics is ethics, morality is humanity. Dharma, right being, decency are built into humanity; not mandates from beyond.

You are confused, no problem.

Confusing the 'self' with any not-self is a problem.
We are not our nationality, our state, our tribe, our family or feelings and desires. We transcend all costumes, given (like family, gender) or self-chosen (like religion, politics).

The best to you.

[The Mouth]

72. You might well be saving his life

and/or the lives of innocent people.

I'm not saying he's a terrorist, but he could be being used by terrorists. What if someone had turned in Timothy McVeigh? Both he and many other people would be alive. I'm sure he's a good guy at the core, but these fuckers are dangerous and will use him to do horrible things if they can.

Prayers for you, very tough

[Jarqui]

73. This one hits close to home

Just had a falling out with my brother Christmas day.
I was pleading with him to read some of the judges decisions on the election.
He felt the election had been stolen.
He basically hung up on me.

Not nearly as bad as having to turn your brother in.

But painfully, Trump isn't just splitting the country - he's splitting families with these lies.

[blueinredohio]

74. If your brother has a substance abuse problem

it would be a help to turn him in. It may help get him off the drugs or whatever it is he's doing. About 5 years ago my sister got arrested for drugs I don't know how many times. I wrote a letter to the judge to put her in prison. I didn't want to do it and I didn't want to keep her kids. But she was killing herself. Since she has gotten out she's stayed clean and is doing fairly good for herself. Good luck to you and your brother too.

[NoMoreRepugs]

76. Hearts heal, guilt of not turning him in would stay w you forever.

[bluecollar2]

77. You're doing the right thing...

Trust me...

[TexasBushwhacker]

78. Doing the right thing is the hardest thing to do sometimes

My dad was bipolar and often had paranoid delusions. I found out he was accumulating weapons and was planning on "cleaning up the neighborhood". I knew if I didn't do something, someone would get killed. He would be killed or he would be killed by someone else. I had him picked up and taken to the county psychiatric hospital. I had to lie to him to get him in a place where he would be safe to be picked up.

I knew our relationship would never be the same. I felt guilty and I balled my eyes out, but my dad wasn't able to shoot anyone and didn't get hurt himself.

You are doing the right thing. You brother might get the help he needs if he's in jail.

[onecaliberal]

80. I'm sorry. I will keep strengthening thoughts for you and your bro.

[speaknow]

81. Ask yourself a simple question

Did your Brother say to himself if I do this attack and maybe
hurt someone would my Brother be SAD?

[pazzyanne]

82. What you are doing is called "tough love".

It is never easy to do, but it is the highest form of love. You are doing the right thing, even if it feels wrong. Be kind to yourself as you help your brother. If you do nothing, he will progress down this wrong road. Prayers and hugs!

[shrike3]

83. A relative of mine was at the rally Wednesday. They plastered pictures of their accommodations on

their FB page. No mention of the actual event, just complaints about Parler. If we can see them in footage or photos from the Capitol, we will turn them in.

You are doing the right things.

[roamer65]

84. You have no choice.

You may be saving him from getting in deeper and saving other innocent lives.

How will you feel if you don’t and he commits worse atrocities?


DO IT.


NOW.

[Ilsa]

87. Maybe he can work as their infiltrator and let

The FBI know what is planned for January 17th. The FBI, by law, can't go searching through all of these websites and chasing IP addresses (a new law regarding terrorism is needed). But if your brother tells them what and how, maybe they'll not charge him for January 6th events.

[Hav]

88. You don't have to

It depends on what he did there, whether he entered the Capitol. If he stayed outside, he might be fine. Only attending the rally and not getting too close to where he wasn't allowed to be, that shouldn't be something the FBI is interested in. Secondly, it also depends on whether there may be questionable actions in the future you fear.
If he isn't talking about going to DC again for the inauguration, if he didn't hurt anyone and doesn't plan to hurt anyone and you still strongly consider informing the FBI about him, maybe talk to a lawyer first what the best path would be.

[vlyons]

89. If he's in jail, he won't get injured or killed in an insurrection.

nt

[Renew Deal]

90. Did you see him in the building?

If not, what are you reporting?

[Frances]

91. My heart goes out to you

One of my brothers is a Trumpster
I pray he’s not involved

[kpete]

92. I do not envy you

[gldstwmn]

93. I have literally driven someone to the police

and turned them over. I will never forget the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm sorry this awful task has fallen to you.
Also do not tell anyone what you have done. These people are dangerous.

[elleng]

94. Dear Oak2004, we are very sorry, and

we are with you.

[Lucky Luciano]

95. You're doing the right thing. Your brother is an extremely dangerous person who...

...doesn’t belong in polite society.

[EnterwebsJohn]

96. Talk to him about turning himself in before someone else

does. He probably will refuse if he is using drugs but he could will probably be outed by others who recognise him.

[rustysgurl]

97. I am sorry

I don't know if he is so unreachable that appealing to him to turn himself in would work (which may earn him some leniency). I don't know that I could do what you're doing. It's easy to say what one would do until they are faced with the reality. People just don't realize when they make these choices that they aren't the only ones who suffer the consequences.

[NBachers]

98. This has to stop. It can stop now; it can stop later with more tragic consequences. It's up to you.

Your involvement can also prevent those who are influencing and manipulating him from inflicting greater damage, to him and our nation.

[2naSalit]

99. I turned in...

My brother several years ago for kidnapping one of his daughters. I felt a little uncomfortable because I knew it would piss off my mother if she found out but she was abetting him. After my niece was rescued from her school, I was glad I had done it.

[Lucinda]

100. ❤️✿❧🌿❧✿❤️

May he wake up soon.

[Politicub]

102. It's such a personal choice. I don't know what I would do if faced with

that dilemma.

My cousin spent years in federal prison for drug charges. After he got out, he was put back in for violating probation by getting pulled over with drug paraphernalia.

After he got out a second time, he overdosed and died. He wasn’t able to find a job and never was able to fully integrate back into society.

So I would be really torn.

[SpankMe]

104. There are no good choices here

But, unless you know for sure that he hurt someone, I'd keep quiet and would continue to try to reach out to him. Especially if he has children.

Few are beyond redemption. A lot of these people can be brought back from the precipice. Blood is thicker than water, as they say. It's worth the good fight.

[Old Crow]

105. Not easy, but send it.

Prevent your brother from going further down the toilet with a still-worse act of sedition. As another has said, it might well save his life.

[CommonHumanity]

106. Hate to give advice but.....

I am sure you've had more than enough advice, but I feel compelled to share my thoughts:

Don't turn him in. Do an intervention. Maybe tell him you love him and want him to live and heal, but if he doesn't change course you might turn him in. OK, maybe don't threaten him-I'm kind of brainstorming/throwing out ideas I as write, but my main point is this:

Your brother is messed up and doing messed up things because he is in pain. Yes, tough love has its place, but so does compassion. Prison would only add to his pain and perhaps destroy him. There has to be another way to help him rehabilitate and heal. Prison is inhuman. I can barely imagine anyone doing anything bad enough to deserve being in the USA prison system. Add to that the fact that there are many who have power, prestige, money, connections, and have avoided prison after doing worse things than your brother.

[appalachiablue]

116. I concur with this plan. First try a family intervention and get

professional help to heal and move forward. It sounds like you truly care about your brother but a record and prison time could finish off any chance of a decent life for him based on what you've said he's already dealing with.

Years ago a neighbor's kid was 'Bakered' at age 15 for some pot seeds. She was put in a psych ward with really ill people as suggested by school staff. It turned out to be an unecessary, harsh and awful experience that she's never got over.

[NJCher]

149. I agree with this

Do the intervention first. Our criminal justice system needs a lot of work, and I speak as an activist for criminal justice reform--over 20 years of volunteer work.

If he gets sent to prison, Covid. Could be a death sentence. It is happening as we speak.

[Upthevibe]

107. Oak2004....

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I agree with a majority of the responses on this post. Turning him in could save his life as well as the life of others. How horrible would it be if he inadvertently shot and injured or killed someone?

If it were me I'd do it anonymously if I could. I don't think there's any shame in that.

I feel that a significant number of people who are dt followers are already mentally unbalanced, have substance abuse issues, have a very difficult time forming safe and healthy relationships, and other problems connecting with people in general. Their love of dt, which is their "Jim Jones," makes them feel a part of something. And many even feel they're a part of something that is heroic.

As a society we throw the word brainwashed around a lot but these people truly are.

I'm sending light and good vibes your way. IMHO you are absolutely doing the right thing....

[Vivienne235729]

108. Omgosh. My heart breaks for you. I read an article about white supremacist groups

And how they lure people into their gang....and how they feed their addictions (drugs, hate) to keep them from leaving. It's really sad.

Good luck to you. In the end, you may have just saved his life...
and/or many other innocent lives.

[plimsoll]

110. They got their civil war. I'm sorry your brother was their cannon fodder.

160 years ago the political leadership of the southern states didn't care if poor folks died. The current batch doesn't care if others do either.

You have my sympathy. I hope your brother can find his way out.

[magicksmom]

111. The Gift of Desperation

This is my first post ever, after lurking for years. Your heartache touched my soul.

I am a recovering alcoholic and in my meetings we speak of hitting bottom. It has lots of names . . .'dark night of the soul', 'no way out but up', 'complete defeat' etc.

I know it feels disloyal but it is no different than throwing a drowning person a life preserver.

You brother's ONLY hope is to experience the consequences of his actions.

The light can't shine through until there is a crack ie the Gift of Desperation.

Not only are you doing the right thing, it is the loving thing to do.

Peace from Minneapolis

[wryter2000]

166. Welcome to DU

Glad to have you posting.

[BadgerMom]

112. I am so sorry.

I wish there were words to solve your dilemma. All I can come up with is to imagine how much worse it would be if he had harmed someone one-to-one or he had been harmed.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

113. Hugs, man.

It's a tough time for you and I hope you find peace at the end of your travail.

[FakeNoose]

114. I hope the feds round your brother up early and prevent him from doing it

There's always that chance.

If they do, then the chance came from you, because you turned him in.

[JohnnyRingo]

115. I wouldn't do it.

But that's just me.

I haven't spoken to my only brother since he said he was going to vote for George W Bush—the 1st term—but I wouldn't turn him in regardless of what he did.

Let it go.
Let someone else do it.
One thing for certain, you'll never be sorry if you don't.

[orleans]

135. disagree with "you'll never be sorry if you don't." that is not a "for certain"

what if her brother gets killed if he gets involved with another attack?
what if her brother kills someone?

there is simply no good choice here. they both suck.

[JohnnyRingo]

140. Turning him in offers no promise of reform.

...and will likely cause eventual feelings of guilt and remorse if it ruins her brother's life.

Her brother will make his own choices in life. The OP should not feel responsible for that.

Again, that's just how I feel. I wouldn't turn him in.

[PA_jen]

119. I am nobody you know but all I can suggest is tough love you are doing this hard thing to not only

to protect your country but you are protecting your brother from his dangerous future actions. I don't pretend to know the pain this decision is causing. all I can offer is my humble advice and my healing vibes of love and support.

[appleannie1]

120. I have a grandson with a drug habit.

Right now he is in jail for something he did at one of his worst stages. I feel extremely guilty that I am thankful he is in a place he can't abuse. At least we don't have to worry about getting a phone call and hopefully he will be there long enough to shake the demons of his illness. I understand to some extent what you are going through. My heart goes out to you.

[TigressDem]

121. Sometimes a person has to hit bottom to find the way up.

If he ever gets sober, and jail might actually help as I don't think they have booze on the menu.... he can find friends wherever he goes. Friends of Bill in AA.

Those people he THOUGHT were friends won't be as lovingly supportive as others who are trying to find a better way for themselves.

And someday when he gets to the 4th and 5th steps he might actually Thank You for being the one who cared enough.

BUT it will take awhile.

[lostnfound]

122. Are you sure he is guilty of a crime?

Many people attended who did not break I. Or beat anyone.
I would not do it unless I was fairly sure of a crime.

[BusyBeingBest]

127. Yes--just being present at the scene wasn't a crime.

He would have had to be inside the building, trespassing. Or made threats, or brought weapons with ill intent. Something like that.

[Oak2004]

143. merely being on the capitol grounds is indeed a crime

Entering a restricted area. It's a misdemeanor.

He could get other, stiffer, charges but it's unlikely (indeed technically anyone who participated could be charged with murder, because if a killing occurs during the commission of a crime, all participants in that crime can be held responsible for that killing).

A misdemeanor will keep him out of DC on the 20th.

[UpInArms]

123. I am so sorry ...

Ted Kaczynski’s brother faced the same dilemna as you ...

There are no winners

[MustLoveBeagles]

124. I'm sorry Oak2004

This has to be agonizing for you. I don't have any words of wisdom but I you have my support no matter what you ultimately decide to do.

[Dan]

126. Do this now, before his friends convince him to do something terrible - where there is no recovery.

[Turbineguy]

130. There were thousands there.

Most of them will not get rolled up. So if you brother happens to be one of them...

Trump is a black hole and he sucks people in. "... sad and lonely guy with a substance abuse problem...". Just the sort that trump is looking to take advantage of.

Your brother may not need to go to prison to be cured of trump.

[Oak2004]

141. his involvement was minimal but he is planning to do more

It's that intention to do more that is why I know I have to turn him in. Better he have to plead to misdemeanors now -- and be ordered to stay away from his "friends" -- than whatever horror he could, in his naive belief in Trump, get himself entangled in later.

[3Hotdogs]

151. Jail/prison is one thing. If he plans to revisit D.C. on 1/20, the danger is physical harm.

[58Sunliner]

133. My brother got involved with some guys who were gun humping nuts.

He was homeless. I had to call the cops in another state to find him as he wouldn't contact anyone. He had a moment of clarity when the cop brought a dog out to look for him and broke away from them. I don't know what the cop said to him, but I am grateful. Probably saved his life. He is doing better now. One time I reported my sister to the police. Hard to do, but necessary. Nothing you can do when people make bad choices except protect the innocent.

[captain queeg]

138. I think you are doing the right thing

Likely his involvement so far is fairly minimal. I suspect those who were there and broke the law but didn’t do any violence would be able to save themselves somewhat by turning state evidence. Might not get a free pass but the feds will be more lenient with those who cooperate. Stop him before he gets in deeper.

[Progressive Jones]

142. Sorry that your brother has put you in this position. nt

[electric_blue68]

145. How deeply painful this is Oak2004. I read all...

the posts, and thinking about it - when I came across again you saying he intends to do more.

I feel a little weird trying offer some advice on such a intense subject hat I have not had experience with. Yet it just occurred to me that I have participated in rallies, marches on our side (no violence) from Anti-Vietnam ones onward - so I guess that's nominally tangential.

If you haven't sent the tip in yet - try an intervention ASAP w other people, or even preferably let someone else do it in case it doesn't work!
Then he probably won't know it was you who will eventually turn him in. (you don't want to endanger yourself or you family)

If you or someone else turns him in, and he ends up in jail/prison there's a well respected group started in 1967 still in existence here in NYC who's model of helping prisoners return to society is used nationally, and internationally called The Fortune Society.

I only know this because decades ago I happened to be listening to a then listener supported NYC radio station (not npr based) that ran very liberal to radical and they were interviewing TFS which was then quite new.

My best hopes to you and your brother for a good outcome.
Please keep us posted!

[Generic Brad]

153. If you don't turn him in you are aiding and abetting

Let that sink in.

[mercuryblues]

154. If you can get someone else to do, please do.

I would also suggest if you can afford it, rent a cabin in the woods and bring him there until after the 20th. No internet connections or cell service. To entice him let him know you will let him drink if he wants. The reason for this is because if you say no drinking he definitely won't go. Hell, buy the beer for him and have it on hand when you ask him to join you.

I have several alcoholics in my family and even if they didn't particularly want to go somewhere, the free booze got them there.

My heart goes out to you. It is an agonizing decision. One I hope I never have to make.

[coeur_de_lion]

155. Oh I feel your pain

This is heart breaking.

[The Blue Flower]

156. Like every other intervention, it's an act of love

Some medicine is bitter, but taking it is the only way to save a life. His future is at stake. How much pain might he cause if he isn't stopped? To himself and who knows how many others?

[Hortensis]

158. I'm sorry, but how else to protect him? Attitudes shift

with society. These unfortunate influences are actually likely to lose their hold on him over time, and you'll want him to be a free and whole man with no debt to society.

[CousinIT]

159. You can report him anonamously.

No need to provide contact info. FBI can find you of course. But your brother needn't know you reported him. I don't think they'd tell him.

That doesn't help the fact that your brother seems to be a lost soul and the heartbreak of your having to report him.

[sellitman]

160. My heart goes out to you.

I honestly have no idea how I would react if I were in your shoes.

Hugs

[mzmolly]

161. I'm very sorry

about your situation, but agree with those who say you're doing him a favor - too.

[llashram]

162. Man!

difficult call, I bet because he is blood. Yet I feel there is honor being dispayed here in your words and dilema and ultimate deed.

[citizen blues]

163. I'm so very sorry you've had this gut-wrench decision to make.

I was in a similar situation last summer during the downtown Seattle protest. A cousin's wife and long-time friend started telling me about what a biker's club was planning to do to "liberate" Seattle. The group she was talking about was Patriot Prayer, an ally of the Proud Boys and every bit as much white supremacist terrorists. I tried to tell her that, but she wouldn't listen. I was wrestling with calling the FBI hotline when the situation in Seattle resolved itself. Since, I've cut off all contact with my cousin and his wife.

[Fresh_Start]

164. You are trying to save his life

and the lives of many others.

I can imagine what you are going through.
I checked several of my MAGAts idiot family members to ascertain that they were not participants, preparing myself if need be to report them.

[wryter2000]

165. You're doing the right thing

It may turn out that he was one of the ones just milling around and he didn't commit any crimes. He may have information that can help track down the truly evil ones. This might also scare him off this movement, and that could save him from serious trouble.

[StarryNite]

167. You are doing the right thing. Thank you!

And as others have already said, you could be saving your brother's life.

[jb5150]

168. Very tough situation ....

I have relatives that fought in the Civil War .. on the side of the confederacy, and I have wondered, if I could go back to that time, could I have reasoned with them, talked them out of it. And the answer to that question is most likely no.

Turn him in, and let the chips fall where they may. The fact is, that unless he was one of the main instigators, or was really prominent in the photos or video footage, likely nothing will happen to him.

[calimary]

169. Oh, MAN...

I’m so sorry you’ve been put in this position, Oak2004.

Sometimes, doing the right thing is also doing the hardest thing. Doesn’t make it one bit easier, though.

I’m just glad you’re willing to share this inner struggle. It takes courage. The moral support for you here is, and will remain, solid.

[EzraMarcus]

170. NYT reaching out

Hi—for OP, I'm a reporter for the NYT working on a story about people struggling with the decision to turn in family members and friends for storming the capitol. Please shoot me a PM, happy to protect anonymity, or reach out at [e-mail]. thanks