Republicans Against Impeachment Propose "Three Coup Attempts, You're Out" Law
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Senate Republicans who opposed impeachment are proposing an alternative: a piece of legislation called “Three Coup Attempts, You’re Out.”
The bill’s sponsor, Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky, said that the law would send a clear signal to future Presidents that “we will have zero tolerance for coup attempts if they try to do it three times.”
“After the first coup attempt, a President would receive a warning, just as you would if you made an illegal left turn or had a broken tail light,” Paul explained. “After the second coup attempt, the United States Senate will draft a resolution telling you that you’d better not try it a third time.”
Paul was vague when asked what the punishment would be for a third coup attempt, saying, “As in most legislation, the devil is in the details. But the gist of it is, insurrect me once, shame on you; insurrect me twice, shame on me; insurrect me three times, it’s time to have a serious talk about this.”
Short article, no more at link: 
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/republicans-against-impeachment-propose-three-coup-attempts-youre-out-law
Photograph by Greg Nash / Getty
= new reply since forum marked as read
Andy Borowitz writes political satire and is a particular favorite here. 
No big surprise from Borowitz!
Trump should have been removed a year ago, and this country has paid for his ignorance and lack of responsibility with sickness, violence and deaths. 
Pretty accurate 
And, especially these days, he never runs out of material! 