Republicans Say It Is Unconstitutional to Hold Officials Accountable Unless They Are Hillary
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Explaining their vote against an impeachment trial, Senate Republicans asserted that it is unconstitutional to hold government officials accountable unless they are Hillary Clinton.
“I’ve consulted with the finest constitutional lawyers in the country,” Senator John Cornyn, of Texas, said. “Without exception, they determined that the enforcement measures that the Framers created, in 1787, were intended only to be used in cases of Hillary.”
Senator Josh Hawley, of Missouri, concurred. “To see legal guardrails that James Madison explicitly designed for Hillary Clinton used on someone who is demonstrably not Hillary Clinton is a disgrace,” he said.
Senator Lindsey Graham, of South Carolina, struck a more conciliatory note, suggesting that there were circumstances under which Senate Republicans might support an impeachment trial next month. “If a decision were made to put Hillary Clinton on trial, we would be on board with that,” he said.
Short article, no more at link: 
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/republicans-say-it-is-unconstitutional-to-hold-officials-accountable-unless-they-are-hillary
Photograph by Pete Marovich / Bloomberg / Getty
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And with all the breaking news in the world, they were railing about Hillary's emails! My dentist's assistant came in and apologized, said a previous patient, an older lady, had requested that the TV channel be changed. She knows where I stand since she's "one of us," as is my dentist. 
I just happened to have an appointment with her on 9/11/01 when everyone here in New York was freaking out. That day was my political wake-up call and have discussed it with my dentist. So I do know where she stands, she often turns on MSNBC while I'm there and I've showed her threads on DU since she's interested. 
I thought Borowitz Report when I saw this.
Some of his titles are more obvious than others... 
