Obama Accused of Converting to Judaism to Obtain Lasers

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In her most explosive claim to date, Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene accused former President Barack Obama of converting to Judaism in order to obtain lasers.

According to Greene, Obama’s obsession with lasers was a result of working in the entertainment business, “where he is constantly surrounded by laser-owning Jews.”

“Obama would go to Netflix meetings and be seething with envy of all these Jewish TV executives who had lasers,” she said. “That’s why he converted to Judaism and, according to something I read on the Internet, got bar-mitzvahed.”

Although Greene did not indicate what Obama might use his lasers for, she warned that he could fire them off at any time, except Friday after sundown.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/obama-accused-of-converting-to-judaism-to-obtain-lasers

[Aristus]

1. Careful, Borowitz. Don't give her any ideas...

[getagrip_already]

2. damn, secrets out, on to plan b......

we must protect our precious bodily fluids!!!!

[elleng]

3. Sorry, but she confused Barack Obama with Sammy Davis Jr.!!!

[dugog55]

4. All right there Borowitz, you are going to have to come up

with something much more far fetched than that. Those lunatic QAnon people have a much deeper understanding of insanity than you do. It is getting very difficult to tell Onion stories and yours from the wild stories the Q people have been promoting. Granted, you do put your name up front as a disclaimer, but if you did not, I would consider the post as something a Trumper has actually said and believed.

[marble falls]

5. Oy gevalt!

[LiberalLovinLug]

6. I had an idea the other day. Why not flood the RW with ridiculous CTs

We should do this to show how dangerous this kind of algorithm induced perpetuation is. I don't know how we can even top things like baby eating and space lasers, but we could try. The pharmasist that threw out those vaccines was a flat earther ffs! Think of the fun we could have. Make moderate Republicans have to be confronted with half their peers falling into the well. Force Republican voters to have to decide if they want to go all in one way or another.

Its useless to counter QAnon's imagination in inventing wild CTs with simply saying "that's crazy". All they will say to that is, "that's what I expect guilty people to say". No, you flood their followers FB accounts with memes declaring there is proof Biden is a lizard, with a closeup of what looks like scales on his hand. McConnell has evolved from real turtles. Nanobots control AOC. You could go anywhere.