At the bank today...

[MineralMan]

I had to open an account for the family trust to deal with my late parents' assets. I had an appointment today with a "Premier Banker" at my local WF branch. Apparently what I needed to do and the amounts involved required that level of banker. Usually, I talk to a "Personal Banker" in a cubicle. This guy had a real office with walls and stuff.

He was a very cordial person and clearly very competent at his job. He had an unusual first and last name, and spoke with a slight accent I couldn't identify. So, once we concluded our transaction, I said to him, "I'm curious about the origin of your name." It's always a tricky question, really. But, instead of asking him where he was from, I asked about his name. So, he told me he came to the US as a Somali refugee as a boy. Then he told me what the name meant where he was born. I also learned that he went to the local public schools here and then to the University of Minnesota. Then he became a banker.

If you ask, you can learn a great deal from almost anyone about things you did not know much about. The trick is in asking the right questions. The Twin Cities in Minnesota is home to refugees from many places around the world. They all have an interesting story to tell, if you ask them sincerely about it, out of genuine curiosity.

[perfessor]

1. Thank you for posting this.

Even at my somewhat advanced age I find myself learning new social skills. Your story is an example of such.

Cheers!

[lagomorph777]

2. If that's Wells Fargo, aren't you afraid they'll steal all your family's money?

[MineralMan]

6. Uh, no. I've been banking at Wells Fargo for 41 years,

it says on my account information. Never had problem one with that bank. A couple of mortgages with them, too.

They don't really much like the kind of account I set up. The money won't be there for more than a few months. It will be used to pay off my late parents' bills, etc. The family farm was sold before they died, but hadn't closed yet. That's about to happen, probably next week, so the proceeds of that sale have to have a place to go. There are their bank accounts to transfer to that account, and other assets that need a repository for a while. Then it will all be distributed according to my parents' wishes and the account closed. I'm just the trustee and executor. It will add a little to the bank's daily balance of deposited funds, but won't give them any opportunities to use the funds as any sort of long-term collateral.

They handle accounts like that as a service to customers, but they're not particularly attractive accounts for bankers. It's very simple. It's really just a checking account that will be closed before too long. It's a place to gather together a wide range of assets and then distribute them to the beneficiaries. On the other hand, I'm also a beneficiary, so there will be funds that move to my accounts. That might interest them, I suppose, but it won't be there long, either. We have plans for what to do with that money, too.

In any case, this thread is not about Wells Fargo Bank. It is about curiosity and how to get people to share information with you.

[CurtEastPoint]

3. I do that, too. I always preface it with, 'I was a language major. May I ask where you are from...

or 'what language did you grow up speaking' or something like that and I have never had an adverse reaction. I love learning about (sane) people.

[MineralMan]

9. There you go. Sincerity goes a long way.

[brewens]

4. I registered donors at blood drives for years and used to see some unusual names.

A lot of times I'd say something like, "before you tell me, let me take a stab at this", then try and pronounce it. I'm pretty good at it from watching a lot of sports, especially hockey. Usually they were used to people not being able to pronounce their names and were impressed if I at least came close.

One was from Idaho and the name was Desjardins. If you're a hockey fan, you'd know Eric Desjardins the great defenseman, and the French pronunciation. So I give it to him real slick and he says no, it's dess jar dins. Oops. I kind of think he had a French Canadian grandpappy and they just let the original pronunciation go.

[MineralMan]

8. Yeah. And then there is "Beaufort."

You don't want to guess the pronunciation of that name, either.

[RussellCattle]

5. Good for you. I had a thread here on DU a while ago about this very thing. I've always asked....

.....foreign born folks where they are from and have always had good reactions and nice conversations that make me believe that these folks enjoy telling you about their background. Not all DUers agreed with this, at least one expressed concern that it was or appeared to be racist. I encouraged them to rethink their position because they were missing out on some very nice human interactions.

[MineralMan]

7. Yes. The issue is that there are racists in this country.

Posing a question in the right way keeps that from being an issue. I don't care what skin color my banker has, but I'm interested in names that aren't familiar to me. So, that's what I asked about. "Where are you from" is a question that may not be appropriate, and is often associated with antagonistic people.

So, it's often better to ask a question that isn't so typically biased. Also, it's better asked after completing whatever business you had to do, as an afterthought. We had already had a good deal of conversation regarding what I was there for. But, that's business. I was just curious about the name, because I didn't recognize its origins. So, I learned from asking. I knew how to pronounce it, because he introduced himself to me.

It's not that a question about where someone came from is racist. It's not, but it's often asked by racists as a verbal assault. So, it's not the best approach.

My neighborhood, for example, includes people who are Hmong, Vietnamese, Thai, Laotian, Karen, Chinese, and Japanese. I do not know which by just looking at them. So, I ask their names. From that, I can generally know their origins. I'm not as familiar with African names.

[RussellCattle]

10. Like you, I do wait a bit before asking, but I do just ask the question "Tell me, please, where.....

....are you from?" Maybe it's the "please" or maybe it's my general attitude, but I've always had a good response. I've been asked to guess someone's origins and that's been fun too, even when I've been wrong. People are nice.