Back in the 80's I had a chance to bet big money on my dad's death.

[pnwmom]

Big money for me, that is. My dad made me the offer. He had a whole life policy with substantial premiums, and he couldn’t afford them anymore. But he thought it would be an excellent investment for me, because almost everyone he knew had AIDS -- aka, the “gay man’s disease”-- so it was just a matter of time before he was diagnosed, too.

We hung up our phones, and I thought about it for a couple minutes. He was in sales, and he’d used all his talents on me. And I knew he was hoping someone would benefit from his death. But, no, it wasn’t going to be me. I wasn’t going to bet my money on an investment with a very big payout -- but only if Dad died within a few years. (Every five years the rates would go up and up and up, so every 5 years I’d be faced with the same gut-wrenching decision: bet more money or lose everything.)

So I said no and he lived for at least twenty more years. Smartest investment decision I ever made, even if I did disappoint him at the time! I got reminded of this recently, when an article about the Covid virus referred to the medical challenge posed by H.I.V.

So here’s to the scientists and doctors and nurses who’ve changed the prognosis for people with H.I.V., are still working hard on a preventative vaccine, and who’ve been working just as hard on Covid.

Here’s an HIV timeline.

https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/overview/history/hiv-and-aids-timeline

[Hekate]

1. Without Trump deliberately mucking things up, Scientists can do it eventually. ...

Best case scenario imo is we get a vaccine every year like the flu, and maintenance medications for the long-haulers as with HIV. But it will take time, so not everyone is going to make it in time.

Great story about you and your dad, by the way. I hope his “extra” 20 years were sweet for you both.

[pnwmom]

2. Yes, I hope and expect it will be like the flu vaccine, with an annual shot.

The "extra" years were good years for our family, but he did lose many friends. That was a tough time in the gay community.

Thanks for caring, hekate!

[cate94]

3. I'm glad for you

My dad died when I was 13. One of my older brothers stepped up. He was 9 years older than me.
If he had survived one more year, he’d be with us today. God, I hate Reagan for his delays and his pretense at “morality”.

[SunSeeker]

4. So happy that you've had your beloved dad for all those years.

My dad's an abusive right wing asshole who I do not want to spend time with. After their divorce, he left my mom with no child support for me and my brother, nor alimony for her. We ended up on food stamps.

I always wondered how differently my brother and I would have turned out if we had a loving, nurturing, responsible father. I guess I'll never know!

[Aussie105]

5. I guess I'll never know!

You already know!

People who grow up in a loving, nurturing family with caring parents assume this is normal, and expect it to be that way automatically in any relationship they enter into.

People who grow up without it, learn the value of those things, and work hard towards achieving that in their own relationships, with their own kids.
It doesn't just happen by itself.

My dad and I weren't close. But he did teach me the value of money at an early age, and I've always looked at a dollar twice before spending it.
When he died, he left me and my siblings money, equal shares, dad responsible and fair to the end.
Did I do what he did, guard his money to the bitter end?
No.
I passed most of it on to members of the next generation, the youngsters who were struggling with establishing themselves. Not all, just those struggling.
Probably not what dad intended, but I'd like to think he would approve anyway.

[brer cat]

6. I'm very glad your Dad lived a much longer life

than he anticipated. HIV then was a death sentence for so many people.

[pnwmom]

9. Thank you. He was very lucky that neither he nor his partner

ended up with AIDS, though he said most of their gay friends from that era died of it.

[Tom Rinaldo]

7. I'm so glad I clicked on this thread

Thank you for sharing this.

[pnwmom]

8. You're welcome, Tom. And thank you. n/t